Harry shared a simple lunch, which he had cooked completely with magic to save time for once, with his family before his exhaustion finally set in that his eyelids felt as heavy as lead ten minutes after the meal. He passed out immediately after painstakingly dragging himself to bed. It was dark out by the time he woke up disorientedly to find Ginny chillingly reading a magazine at her side of the bed.

"What time is it, Gin?"

She casually turned a page before answering, "Almost six." He had been asleep for more than five hours.

"I should get up to cook." He was already cursing himself for really sleeping through the day and missing out on spending time with his family. He had mentioned the possibility to Albus earlier but had not truly meant to do this at all. However, he was shoved down by his wife when he tried to sit up. It was not a forceful shove but she seemed determined to be heard and understood.

"Don't worry about it, dear. The kids will take care of it." "Take care of it" turned out to be ordering Muggle food delivery but considering how rarely he got to eat with his family these days, they had been doing it often that it was more the norm than the exception these days given the fact that Ginny had never bothered to learn cooking herself. Her "cooking" consisted mainly of mixing salads, making sandwiches and pouring milk into cereals.

Ginny had placed her Seeker Weekly on the bedside table before turning to face him. "Al told me you only had a 'nap' for a few hours yesterday. I didn't say anything in front of him but I bet 'a few hours' couldn't be longer than three hours." She searched his face for reactions. As one of a few people who seemed to be able to read his mind without legilimency, one look at him was enough to tell her that she had guessed right. "I didn't even know just how late you had arrived home this morning. You really should take better care of yourself, Harry. And you should have said no when we had made you played Keeper this morning."

Harry was feeling bad for worrying his family but the defense came automatically. "I didn't want to disa…"

"Disappoint us, especially the kids. I get it, I really do, Harry... It's one thing to try out Al's new broomstick and to fly a bit for fun but it's an entirely different thing to have played Quidditch like that… You know how competitive James and I could get even if it's just a mini match between us two and you could've fallen off your broomstick and we wouldn't have been able to catch you or slow down your fall while James and I were playing."

He certainly did not feel awake enough for this kind of conversation, but then perhaps he could never feel ready for this. Why was it that he always seemed to manage to do something wrong despite his best intentions?

He gently placed his hand on top of hers, "I'm sorry for worrying you, Gin." Her eyes softened when she looked back, "I really am."

"Of course you are." It was not quite a whisper but was said with quiet acceptance. "You always do." She seemed to say the latter sentence more to herself than to him.

"I promise I won't do this again." She looked completely unconvinced to him, which was fair enough considering his reckless track records. They might be talking about playing Quidditch during his spare times but he knew Ginny was thinking about all those times he had injured himself at work as well. Over the years, he had been hospitalised quite a few times that he could greet dozens of Healers at St. Mungo's by names. Remembering how Al had almost cried in the morning when he had believed that his father had sacrificed his sleep to cook them breakfast, he was truly feeling sick of upsetting his family, who meant more than his own life to him.

Noticing the melancholic look he was giving her, she lightened up and said, "I suppose I should at least give you the benefit of the doubt. I know how much you care… honestly, you're caring to a fault, Harry. But then I had known what I had signed up for even back when we had first gotten together in my fifth year."

Feeling not entirely sure whether his wife was trying to express her appreciation or dissatisfaction of him but noticing that she was acting noticeably less serious, he tried and failed to ask casually, "So… Albus and you were discussing about me?"

"What? Are you worried that he had told me some secrets that you don't want me to know?" She appeared to be joking but he shook his head solemnly, meaning that he had not hidden any secrets from her, sometimes she could get real mad at him without the slightest tightening of her smile that he had learned not to make assumptions when he was in doubts about her moods.

Noticing how nervous he appeared, she laughed before saying, "Relax, Harry, I'm only joking." Remembering what he had just asked, a sad smile replaced her laugh after a beat when she answered, "Albus came talk to me after you had fallen asleep, he's been worried about you."

"I've gathered as much." What a pair of father and son they were, Harry felt like he was constantly worried about Albus because of his nightmares but it appeared that Al had been worrying about him as well. He suddenly remembered that this was the case for the Malfoys as well, all Draco cared about was Scorpius' happiness but the young Malfoy had likewise been worried about how lonely his father had been without anyone to talk to since Astoria's death. It felt like fate that the Potters and the Malfoys were getting closer by the day and the more he had gotten to know them, the more similar the two pairs of father and son seemed to be.

"I guess I'm just a little surprised because he had seemed so… distant not so long ago. That and he isn't the kind of boy who likes to talk about his troubles or feelings." His relationship with Albus had undeniably improved since Halloween but he constantly felt the need to take initiative, to write letters or start conversations that it had been quite tiring for him. Even though Albus had been so sweet the past few days, he tried not to harbour too much hope that this had not been just a temporary change, that his son's personality had transformed for good, that he would no longer behave awkwardly and reluctantly around him.

Her expression clouded when she looked at him intently, "Al loves you, Harry." His mouth parted but he realised he did not really know what to say.

"He might have done some silly things just so you could see him for who he's and he may hate talking about anything personal … but he has always loved you, dear." He could feel the watering of his eyes hearing her said this with so much conviction. Maybe there was a part of him who had always believed himself to be a failure of a father to Albus, that he could not deserve his love no matter how hard he tried, especially after saying those terrible words to him. Despite having told Al that he hoped that they could move past it at Cedric's grave on that sunny afternoon, deep down there had been a part of him who had not been able to move past the conversation himself. Maybe he had even believed that his son had stopped loving him way before that fateful night with the blanket.

"He may not always know how to express himself even after everything… but if there's one thing I can say for certain, he cares deeply about you. In fact, that disaster would not have happened at all had him not cared about you." She let out a deep sigh before continuing, "Anyway, he hates seeing you work yourself to death… James and Lily may want you to be here more but they have gotten so used to the way you work that they didn't even realise that you had been working the whole day yesterday when they had spent the whole day playing. Al, on the other hand, noticed and had been restless all evening, worrying about you."

She gently wiped a tear off his cheek with a finger, which he had not even realised had fallen, then she held his face in her hands and gazed into his eyes, before she leaned in to kiss him on his mouth, which he had instinctively returned. He suspected that she would have tasted the salt of his tears but she did not comment about it.

Ginny held him for minutes to let him cry silently. It could have been because of the constant guilt he felt for not being a good enough father, to Albus for having separated the boys and his nightmares and to his other children for often sidelining them in favours of his work and Albus, exhaustion from working too much, or the responsibility and stress he had felt all around all the times, but once he had started, it felt like the tears just would not stop falling. It took quite a while for him to calm down that by the time he was done, a large area of the back of Ginny's top was soaked with his tears.

After minutes which had felt more like hours for him, they were sitting contentedly on the bed while holding hands. His eyes were closed because it had felt emotionally draining but strangely relieving to cry his heart out. He knew that they should get down to join his family for dinner soon but he wanted to enjoy the temporary peace for now but unfortunately, he was interrupted by his wife.

"Do you remember telling me how you thought Draco should get a job or something to get a life?" He had always told Ginny everything, including some more controversial thoughts he would not feel comfortable expressing in front of his best friends, so naturally he had voiced his opinions to her after thinking about how Draco's entire life was revolving around Scorpius that the widower should do something more to occupy his time and life.

He had felt so proud of himself for succeeding in making Draco befriended her because Ginny genuinely loved Scorpius and she truly had the Malfoys' best interest in her heart that he could now turn to the perfect person for advice when he was trying to help his new friend and the boy he had wronged. It had been quite encouraging at the time that she had agreed with him but he frowned at her words now because he knew for certain that he had not exactly used the words "get a life" and it was puzzling that she would bring this up now.

"Of course." He was not sure what she was getting at.

"I'm thinking… don't get me wrong, it's really nice of you that you really care about Draco's wellbeing and life balance but perhaps you should worry about yourself and your life balance first. I do agree that a job would do him good, but I think you should consider working less yourself."

He was suddenly feeling very tired again, "Gin, you know I can't do that to Hermione… We've only earned back some goodwill after the disaster and we don't have enough Aurors so everyone is working too much. Besides, you know the Deputy Head can't do my job... "

His wife would not be so easily persuaded that she interrupted him firmly. "You're brilliant at your job, Harry. We all know that but you've the tendency to do everything yourself, to take on all the responsibilities and burdens… Remember how you were during the war, how reluctant you were to enlist any help when you had returned to Hogwarts looking for the Diadem even though you had no bloody clue what the Horcurx was, how you would only request Neville to kill the snake when you had thought that you were about to die. We don't know what would have happened had you enlisted help earlier but we know for certain that Voldemort couldn't have been defeated had you not asked for help… And you're the same way after the war. You jumped on the opportunity to work as an Auror mere weeks after the war and…" she let out a sigh before continuing, "you tend to hold yourself accountable, take things very personally and you used to believe that you simply had to be on the frontline every single time… Even now, you don't seem to know how to say 'no' and you have troubles delegating tasks to your subordinates. I certainly won't say I know that the Deputy Head can't do your job, I can't even remember the guy's name but am I right to assume that he would have your job if you leave?"

"Most likely but I didn't say anything about leaving."

"Harry, you seem to hold yourself accountable for the safety of the whole Wizarding World and the idea itself, that any individual could ever feel that way would have sounded crazy had you been anyone but Harry Potter. You might have gotten so used to your sense of responsibility that it might feel natural to you but it's not… You're one person, you may be the Head of Department but you're not your department. You might feel that your department can't operate without you… but no one is truly irreplaceable in any job, including Hermione and you. The world always moves on, it's the same in every job, every government, every Quidditch team, etcetera… Your Deputy Head may be able to replace you if you leave, or he would turn out to be crap and some other guy will get the job. The point is, someone always do... I do love how noble and selfless you're… they're some of your best qualities but you really should learn to ask for help and to trust your colleagues more. I'm not asking you to quit because I know it's pointless, despite the fact that we have enough to support the rest of our lives … all I'm asking is for you to consider asking for help more and perhaps, taking a holiday."

"A holiday…" He dumbly repeated. He had been trying to come up with a reasonable argument against her words but somewhere along the way, it had just evaporated because he knew that she was right even though he was not ready to admit it. But hearing the word "holiday", he had to think really hard to remember the last trip he had taken with his family. Remembering how much Draco had been able to improve his relationship with Scorpius following their Christmas trip, he suddenly found himself yearning to take a trip with Albus somewhere where he would end up telling him about his nightmares and he would figure a way out to help the boy. Of course Ginny, James and Lily all had to be there as well.

As if she was reading his thoughts, Ginny said, "Sometimes a trip can do wonders to better a relationship." He nodded but did not say anything.

Thinking about his children, his thoughts returned to the wasted hours he had spent sleeping. They could play on their own anytime they wanted during the Easter break but he only had so many holidays within the school year that he could spend with them. "Gin, what have our kids been doing in the afternoon?"

"Hmm… they're tired themselves after flying in the morning and the hearty meal, so they preferred to do something quiet anyway. They played some wizard's chess and Al returned to his room soon after talking to me. I believe he's been writing a letter."

"I see… do you think they're disappointed that I've spent the whole afternoon napping?"

"If you'd been able to see how pale you had looked this morning, I doubt you'd worry about this at all."

"Oh."

"To be fair, you did look much better after the game when you flew on Al's broomstick."

He agreed, reminiscing the pure happiness he had felt flying on the Nimbus 2000. "I felt much better by then, I didn't realise how much I had missed my first broomstick."

"Do you know what I was thinking about when I saw you flying on the Nimbus 2000 today?"

"No."

"I thought you looked happy… really, really happy and I don't even remember when you had been this happy last…" There was a sad smile on her face. "I don't remember when you had last flown on your broomstick either, it's always me who would practice flying or Quidditch with our kids these days."

He gently held up both of her hands before saying, "You're right… I was remembering the first time I flew on my own Nimbus 2000 as an eleven-year-old but I was happy…" he looked up to stare right into the beautiful chocolate-brown eyes of his wife's, "I mean really happy up there because I was reminded about how lucky I'm to have you and our wonderful kids."

Most of the time when he complimented her, she would be pleased but tend to respond playfully. This time however, she continued to stare at him tenderly but silently for a few seconds before she pulled him in for another kiss. After the kiss, she whispered to his ear, "You're so loved, dear… by me and all of your children."

"I'll think about what you said… You know how bad things had been after the incidents but it looks like things are finally starting to calm down, I would really like to go on a holiday too."

"Remember you told me about those cycling trips Muggles would go on to?"

"Of course." Harry certainly could not see Ginny on a Muggle bicycle and she never seemed to appreciate them when they came across them in Muggle London. Once she had stared at a group of athletic bike riders for a long time that she had been given some weird looks. She later told him that she had thought that their postures looked the same as a flier except their intense expressions made them looked like they were struggling to lift themselves off the ground… or struggling to go to the toilet.

"Maybe we should go on a flying trip as a family!" There was something in that but even though all of his family could fly well now, they could not fly in broad daylight in most areas and there simply were too many potential hazards.

"Gin, I don't think…"

"Just kidding, I know there's no way we would be able to control our children on such a long trip in the air, maybe we can abandon them so the two of us can do that…" seeing his raised eyebrow at the mention of abandoning their kids, she amended, "I mean, we can do that when they're in Hogwarts… you know this doesn't sound half as cool and exciting, don't you?"

A/N: This conversation was supposed to be all playful banter… oh well, perhaps it was affected by my own mood.

I'm a very self-conscious person who could never feel comfortable putting myself out there that it's a miracle I've lasted this long here. I take things too personally and a big problem for me is that I've been addicted to this site, meaning I have the stats opened at all times and I'd refresh it every five minutes. Recently, I contemplated abandoning the fic for the first time because I realized just how much a toll this has taken me. I decided to limit the time I spend here because I was really unhappy and always distracted. It's been helpful but the downside is, I don't feel as much excitement and satisfaction in writing anymore after getting rid of this direct incentive. I'm very sorry but I can't go back to the way before because it's disruptive to my daily life. Lately I'd open the fic and barely been able to put anything down most days. It doesn't help that I've been struggling with the pacing and how to move forward the plot. These days I feel like each chapter is an entry to a Potter family diary.

I'll avoid writing long chapters from now on because I just can't help having higher and maybe unrealistic expectations when I've spent twice the amount of time on a chapter and when those expectations aren't met, I become filled with self-doubt and unhappiness, then self-loathing for letting myself feel that way. I know it's my own fault for feeling that way but I can't always control the way I feel. Maybe by keeping things short I'll be able to update more regularly.

Thank you so much to JennH because your lovely comment arrived at a moment of self-hatred that it helped to change my perspectives. Thank you Criis46 and the guests who also left a comment. Any comment will mean so much to me.