Innocent Feelings

29

Trigger

Videl held onto Gohan, her arms tightening around his neck as her uncontrollable tears and sobs made her body shake against him. His presence comforted her; his hand rubbing her back was soothing. Gohan was rocking her in his arms, whispering words of comfort in her ear, telling her he was there for her, that it was okay to cry, encouraging her to let it all out, that she would feel better afterward.

"I'm here for you, Videl," he kept saying. "I'm not going anywhere. It'll be okay. Everything's gonna be okay… I'm here for you, Videl…"

When she finally calmed down, Videl pulled back, sitting between Gohan's legs. She sniffed and rubbed her face. "Th… Thanks, Gohan. I'm okay." Reluctant to look at him, she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm okay… Sorry."

"Hey…" His voice was soft and hoarse. He pulled back slightly to search her gaze; she felt his large hand on her cheek and closed her eyes, pinching her lips to stop them from trembling. His tender touch was making her want to cry again. "Don't apologize. It's okay if you don't feel okay, Videl."

"I'm okay," she said again, maybe more to try and convince herself than him. "It just… caught me off guard. But I'm okay now. I can deal with it."

There was a pause, and Videl opened her eyes tentatively. She was met with a worried frown.

"Videl, it's me. You don't have to pretend with me, you know that, right? Don't say you're okay when you're not. Not to me."

She pulled away from him and got to her feet, turning away. Something unpleasant constricted her stomach, and her face contorted in a deep frown. She took a few steps and bent down to pick up the abandoned crate of mostly empty glass bottles. Finally, she looked at him, standing tall as she held the box against her chest. "Even if I'm not okay, I can deal with it."

"Videl, you're not seriously considering carrying on with the day like nothing happened, are you?" Gohan asked her in disbelief, his jaw slackening as he stared up at her from his position on the ground.

"Master Roshi warned us it was going to be dangerous. And that you can't help me, Gohan. It was your idea to make me go through this training, and I want to see it to the end."

"Um…" Krillin took a step forward, making the two teenagers turn to him. He shuffled his feet. "Maybe you could take a break for today?"

Her face scrunched up. She tightened her arms around the crate defensively. "Did you take a break on your first day of training with Master Roshi?"

"Well, no, but…"

"And you were even younger than me back then, weren't you?"

"Well, yes, I was, but…"

"I was just taken off guard, okay?" she snapped, her voice rising. The unpleasant feeling in her stomach kept growing stronger. "I've never been chased by a flipping T-Rex before, so forgive me if I got a little scared!"

"You had a nervous breakdown, Videl," Gohan stated, shaking his head, the deep frown on his face showing his disapproval. "I've seen you face danger head-on, and it's never affected you like that. There's something deeper going on, and ignoring the problem isn't going to make it go away."

She was growing increasingly annoyed, and the vicious words lacing her tone slipped out on their own accord as she snapped at her boyfriend. "Look, I'm fine, okay? Stop being such a worrywart and let's get going already. We only have one more stop left to deliver the milk, don't we? The milk will go bad if we don't hurry, so let's just go."

Krillin turned to look at Gohan, who had his fists clenched tightly at his sides. He swallowed, feeling the half-Saiyan's ki rise rapidly as he narrowed his eyes at the stubborn girl.

"She has a point, Gohan," Krillin risked, trying to appease the tension. His best friend's son turned his glare at him, and the shorter man felt himself cower under such animosity. Still, he kept going, albeit in a tiny voice. "Let's finish the milk run for now, we'll talk about the rest of the day later… There's no more danger on the way anyway."

Gohan clenched his fists tighter, his knuckles turning white. "Fine," he spat through gritted teeth.

ooOoo

Krillin shot a glance at the young man standing next to him. Gohan did not look pleased, not in the least. His usually relaxed features were taut in a deep scowl as he kept his narrowed eyes fixated on the girl working in the fields, plowing the earth with her bare hands

After they were done with the milk delivery, Videl had turned to Krillin and asked what the next task of the day was.

Shooting a nervous glance at her scowling boyfriend, the man had felt a trickle of sweat rolling down his temple as he answered the stubborn girl. "It's… plowing fields."

"Videl, are you seriously going to ignore what happened?" Gohan had asked in frustration.

She had frowned, but it wasn't in annoyance this time. It kinda looked like a thoughtful pout. "It's only plowing fields, Gohan." She had sighed, massaging her neck. "Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you, and I understand that you're worried… but there's nothing dangerous about farming. Is there?" She had turned to Krillin.

"Well, not really, no…" he'd replied hesitantly. "But you can't be using the tools to plow the fields; you would have to do it with your bare hands."

She'd paused, taking that in. "O… kay…" Then she had shaken her head swiftly and looked at Gohan again. "Well, it won't be easy, sure, but at least I won't be in danger, so you don't have to worry."

And so Gohan had relented, but he certainly didn't look happy about it. Krillin felt for his young friend. Even though Videl wasn't in immediate danger for this task, it couldn't be easy for him. His girlfriend wouldn't talk to him about what happened, and she wasn't even willing to acknowledge that she was going through something.

"At least she does look okay right now…" Krillin attempted with a small voice.

"She's not." Gohan's tone was unequivocal. "She's just too stubborn to admit it."

Krillin turned to look at the girl out there, working hard on the fields. She was covered in dirt, her white t-shirt was torn in some parts too, and her traits were skewed in the effort she was exerting. Yet, still, she wasn't letting up, doing her best to complete her task. Krillin couldn't help being reminded of his own first day of training. He remembered how much he'd been complaining when he'd first started, and how it took him months to get over it and get used to the training regimen. Videl was the complete opposite. Her determination and willpower certainly compelled admiration.

But Gohan was right. She couldn't be okay after what happened. He may not know the girl very well, but Krillin could tell that something was up. One didn't have a breakdown just from getting "caught off guard". There was more to it than that.

"What do you think happened?"

Gohan furrowed his brow further. "I don't know. I don't understand what could have triggered that reaction. Videl's been dealing with armed criminals since before I knew her. She's used to it. Or, she's supposed to be."

"Well, getting chased by a T-Rex isn't really the same thing as fighting bad guys."

The tall boy shook his head. "I don't think that's it either. We went to the zoo together one time. Videl loves predators. Sure, getting chased by one would be scary, but it shouldn't have affected her that badly." He let out a deep sigh, hanging his head, running his hand through his spiky hair. "I just… I wish she'd just talk to me. She's obviously repressing something, but if she doesn't tell me, how can I help her?"

"Maybe she's ashamed." Krillin turned to look at the subject of their conversation. "Maybe she doesn't want you to see her as someone weak."

Gohan frowned in deep thoughts and crossed his arms. "That does sound like her…"

"Did she go through something traumatic recently? Maybe the T-Rex chasing after her triggered it?"

The boy suddenly jerked his head up, his eyes widening in realization. "Of course… How did I not think of that?" Gohan looked at Krillin, who watched him expectantly. "That's the whole reason I wanted her to become stronger, strong enough that she wouldn't need me to protect her if something happened. She… She almost died." His breath hitched, and he took a moment to compose himself at the memory, a pained expression on his face. "She was fighting some crime lord, and she was easily overpowering him, but then she got hit and crashed into a glass table, and one of the broken shards went through her stomach…"

Gohan raised his hand to his face. "This is my fault… I was so shaken when it happened. If Piccolo hadn't followed us and brought Senzu beans with him…" He swallowed. "I basically broke down, and Videl… even though she was the one who almost died, she… she stayed strong for me. She comforted me, when I should've been the one comforting her after that traumatic experience… And I was so caught up by my own misery that I didn't even think about what she went through when she was all but dying in my arms…"

Krillin gripped his forearm. "Hey, there's no point in beating yourself up about it now. At least we figured out what the problem was, so now you have to focus on how you're going to help her."

Gohan stood tall and took a deep breath, nodding his head. "You're right, Krillin. Blaming myself isn't going to help Videl."

"That's more like it.' Krillin patted his back, looking up at him with a twinkle in his brown eyes. His grin was infectious, and Gohan couldn't help the small smile tugging at his lips.

Now, to have Videl open up to Gohan… Krillin figured it wouldn't be an easy task, but there was at least one thing he could do to help, and that would be to create an opportunity.

ooOoo

Videl fidgeted nervously, unwilling to look up at her boyfriend who was sitting across from her. After the exhausting second task of the day, namely plowing fields with her bare hands, it was time for lunch. Krillin had not-so-subtly excused himself to leave the two teenagers alone so that they could go to the restaurant together.

She scratched a tiny little bump on the table between them, finding the almost invisible irregularity on the wooden tabletop most fascinating.

Gohan hadn't taken his eyes off of her the whole time. Even though she couldn't find the courage to look up at him and face him, his insistent stare fixated on her felt so omnipresent that it would've been impossible to miss. It was almost oppressing, invading, as though he was trying to search through her soul and read her mind. In that moment, the girl certainly felt like he was succeeding.

The waitress came over to take their order. Gohan still didn't turn away from her as he ordered for himself.

"And you, Videl?" he asked, saying something to her for the first time since she began her second task earlier. "What are you having?"

"Um, just the burger menu, please," she said, looking up briefly at the young blonde taking their order.

A trickle of sweat rolled down her temple as she could feel Gohan frowning at her. She could almost hear his thoughts, So, her you look at, but you won't even meet my eye for a second?

But, still, she just couldn't face him. She'd been awful to him earlier, while Gohan was just worried about her, and rightfully so too, after she… well, okay, okay, so she had a nervous breakdown. And, yes, her first instinct had been to try and bottle it down, hoping it would pass on its own. And, yes, she really shouldn't have snapped at Gohan and call him a worrywart when he'd had every right to worry about her after what happened, and she was clearly the one in the wrong.

Plowing yards of fields for a while gave her all the time she didn't want to mull all this over.

She hated how hard it was for her to admit it, and that she was only willing to admit it to herself. Gohan deserved more.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Videl blurted out suddenly. She still couldn't look at him though…

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I'm such a bitch," she mumbled, her back hunching as she crossed her arms over the table and hung her head.

"Who ever said anything like that? I never thought you were a…" He paused and pursed his lips, like he didn't want to say the word, but went on nonetheless. "I never thought you were a bitch, not once, not ever. I love you because you're not."

"I snapped at you when you were just worried about me… I ignored you, even though I knew – I know – that you were right."

"You were trying to be strong. I get that. I'm not mad that you snapped at me. I was frustrated that you wouldn't listen, yeah, but I don't blame you for the way you reacted."

His voice was gentle and compassionate. Gohan reacher over the table to put his hand on hers and gave it a squeeze.

Videl's eyes welled up, and, at long last, she lifted her gaze and met his own, full of love and understanding.

"I don't deserve someone as amazing as you," she sniffed and rubbed her eyes with the palm of her spare hand.

"If you didn't, I wouldn't be with you." He cracked a playful smile. "And I'm madly in love with you, see."

She laughed slightly, sharing a smile with the boy she loved as a few more tears rolled down her cheeks. Gohan took his other hand and brushed them away with the back on his fingers, before reaching across the table to plant to soft kiss on her cheek.

He let a few seconds pass in silence after that, just smiling at her and rubbing her hand with his thumb, his mere presence giving her more strength and courage than he could know.

"Are you ready to talk about what happened now?" he asked slowly.

Videl dried her remaining tears and nodded her head. She took a long, deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, she was met again with Gohan's gentle, encouraging, heart-melting smile. Her boyfriend patiently waited for her to be ready, giving her all the time she needed to collect her thoughts before saying them out loud. His hand gave hers another squeeze, the simple yet well-timed gesture filling her whole being with warmth.

Her heart was racing as she opened her mouth and started speaking.

ooOoo

Krillin told them that the hour after lunch would usually be spent studying essays written by legendary martial artists, but that they could use that time to hang out for today. He added that Videl would be using that time to do her summer homework later on, which both high school students agreed was a good idea, as they did get a pretty massive load of work for the summer. It was a relief for Videl too. She'd assumed she would have had to use her nights to finish her schoolwork. One hour a day would be more than enough to get it done fairly quickly.

For now, though, there was no rush in getting into that. Videl looked up at Gohan when he squeezed her hand, sharing a smile with him as they strolled along the beach. They had left their shoes and enjoyed the feel of the warm sand between their toes. The sun was high in the sky, the waves crashed not-so-gently onto the shore every now and again, and the wind brought the pleasant smell of the ocean to their nostrils.

"Kinda makes me feel like taking a dip," Videl commented.

Gohan grinned. "Let's go for it then."

And then he started running to the sea, bringing her with him, and they laughed when he made them dive into the waves with their clothes on.

"Yours were pretty ruined already anyway," he offered with an innocent smile when she complained about not giving her the time to undress. Videl rolled her eyes at him, but she had to agree. Her morning training had been pretty intense, and it showed on her.

Gohan pulled her to him in the water and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you," he whispered in her ear, saying exactly what she needed to hear. She smiled in content.

"I love you too."

Talking to Gohan at lunch had helped her organize her thoughts and make more sense of what she was going through. She had been surprised that Gohan had actually figured out what was going on with her, when she herself hadn't been quite sure of the reason for her breakdown.

She'd felt scared. Terrified, really. When that gigantic T-Rex had run after her, Videl had actually felt as though she was going to die. She couldn't imagine outrunning the predator and could already see him devouring her without mercy.

And then flashes to that night. To those brief moments she thought she was going to die in Gohan's arms. To that feeling of slipping away, of that something pulling her away from her body no matter how hard she struggled against it, hanging on with every last bit of strength left in her… but there had been so little of it left at that moment. She had felt herself letting go, no matter how hard she wanted to hold on.

Gohan had listened patiently, not interrupting her once. He would encourage her to keep going when her pauses seemed to drag on. He kept rubbing her hand and squeezing it every now and then, giving her some strength to keep talking.

He had been perfect. Letting it all out helped so much already. It was only a start, yes, but Videl couldn't have imagined a better one. Gohan was the perfect listener, the perfect boyfriend; he was the most perfect person there could be, really. His rare flaws were so tiny and imperceptible that they might as well be nonexistent.

Videl still couldn't quite fathom how or why such a perfect being had chosen her, out of anyone else he could be with.

The waves were quite strong, so they decided to go back to the shore and relax on the sand. They lay back side by side, still holding hands, closing their eyes as they let the sun slowly dry them.

Gohan was absent-mindedly playing with her fingers, making his girlfriend smile to herself as she revelled in the quietness, in this moment with him.

They spent most of the hour just lying there together, bathing in the afternoon sun. They ended up snuggling on the sand and just stayed like that, not needing to fill the pleasant silence with more talks. Their hearts beat as one as they relished the closeness they shared, aware how rare and beautiful their bond was and quietly thanking their lucky star for bringing them together.

And then it was time to go and join Krillin for the next task. Reluctantly, they got up, uncaring about being dirty and still a little wet, or that the sand was pretty much everywhere on them. It wasn't like they had been in a much better state before their little stop at the beach anyway.

Gohan had his arm around her waist and Videl was leaning her head on his shoulder as they walked together, taking their time to go back to the more urban area of the island.

Videl pulled away slightly when they caught sight of Krillin, who seemed to be telling some lost tourists how to find their way.

She opened her mouth to call out to him and let their presence known – and then she all but froze, making Gohan pause and look at her in confusion, tilting his head to the side. Her jaw slackened and hung open, her eyes wide open as she stared at the people directly after Krillin and the lost tourists, sitting together in a coffee shop, seeming to enjoy the nice day out while sipping on a cold drink.

She was wearing a big, stylish summer hat and wide sunglasses, but there was no way for Videl not to recognize the young woman sitting with her cousin.

She just couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her mind had gone blank, her brain short-circuited, unable to make sense of anything, unable to make the connection with the information before her very eyes. How in the world…?

Gohan, after failing to gain his girlfriend's attention, followed her line of vision. He raised his eyebrows in surprise, and then a wide grin broke across his face, lighting his eyes with glee.

"Erasa!" he called with enthusiasm, jogging toward the terrasse to meet with his close friend, pulling a still dumbfounded Videl along.

The blonde in question lowered her sunglasses, and then her eyes widened and her jaw dropped, much like Videl's still was.

"Oh my gosh… What are you two doing here?" She stood and ran up to the couple to meet them halfway, forgetting about what she and her cousin were talking about just a second ago.

"Videl's training here," Gohan replied, motioning to his girlfriend with his head. "I can't believe this is the island you were going to all along! What were the odds?"

"You're the genius, you do the math," she teased with a playful grin. Gohan laughed good-naturedly.

"Ha! I just might!"

"What's going on?" Krillin asked, coming up to the uncommon scene now that he was done helping out the strangers.

"Oh, you know, I just happen to be Videl's best friend in the whole world and we just happen to meet here on this island by total chance. So, yeah, no biggie." Erasa shrugged nonchalantly for effect. Gohan snickered. Videl was still staring at her best friend like she'd grown two more heads and tentacles.

"Huh. Is that so?" Krillin blinked. "Well, I'm Krillin, Videl's martial arts master. I'm teaching her the Turtle Way. Well, you probably never heard about it…"

"Please. Didn't you hear me say Videl is my best friend? You can't be friends with a martial arts maniac like her and not know what the Turtle Way is," Erasa said, waving him off. "But I thought it's that old man who taught the Turtle Way? What's his name again?"

And, at last, as Erasa looked at Videl for information out of habit, the dark-haired girl seemed to snap out of it with a start. And, maybe it was out of habit too, but she answered Erasa's inquiry like a reflex. "Roshi. Master Roshi."

"Hey, look who's back," Gohan teased with a smile, giving his girl's hand a light squeeze.

"Yeah, well…" she started, but couldn't think of anything witty and trailed off.

"I'm Erasa, by the way," the girl said, in reply to Krillin's introduction. She held out her hand and shook his. She beamed. "Pleasure to meet you, Krillin."

"He's married, just so you know," Videl smirked, finally finding something fun to say. It had the desired effect as Erasa glared at her through a light blush.

"Geez, have you ever heard of that little thing called being friendly?" she retorted. "I know you're unfamiliar with the concept, but can't you even recognize it now?"

Videl chuckled in response, not feeling like another retort was needed at this point. She shrugged like she didn't care. "I guess not."

"Well, we kinda need to get going," Krillin pointed out, looking at the nonexistent watch on his wrist. "How about you leave Videl your address so she and Gohan can come over later? She should be done with today's training by sundown, and she's free to do what she wants afterwards."

"I have her number anyway, but yeah, sure thing."

"Hey, isn't that Videl and her hot boyfriend?" Erasa's cousin, Tess came over, her comment making a blush appear on Gohan's cheeks like magic.

"Um, hello," he mumbled, lowering his head, shuffling his feet as he scratched his hair.

"Hi Tess," Videl smiled. "Quick intro: Krillin, Tess; Tess, Krillin. We're on a schedule so we'll catch up later."

"Sure thing," Tess agreed. "Looking forward to it."

ooOoo

"Funny how things work, huh?" Gohan commented on their jog to today's next task.

"Tell me about it," Videl agreed with a chuckle. "I couldn't be happier about it. I'm so glad I get to see Erasa this summer. I was missing her already."

"I'm sure you were."

"And there we are," Krillin cut in, making the duo stop in their tracks.

They stood before a construction site. Videl raised an eyebrow. She couldn't say she was surprised by the location considering today's previous tasks. Working in construction felt like the logical turn of events at this point.

"Well then," she said, throwing a punch into her palm, "I guess it's go time."

Unknown to her, her boyfriend felt relieved that, at least, the current task should be neither dangerous nor life-threatening.

July 14, 2021