Hey guys! Thank you so much to those of you that reviewed, favorited, and added Hold on to Me to your story alerts! I hope I did better with the chapter length... this one is twice as long as the other one!

None of the characters belong to me... they are all SM's intellectual property.

I hope you enjoy!

It wasn't long before Jacob laid me down on his couch, my head spinning from what had just happened. He grabbed an old wool blanket as he crawled onto the couch behind me, warming me with his unnaturally high body heat. He laid the blanket over me, insulating his warmth further.

I was slowly regaining my bearings, although I was still ashamed of my ridiculous actions. I wanted to speak, but I had no clue what I could possibly say to the boy beside me. I felt as though any attempt at an explanation would only further reveal how pathetic I was, or would be too easily misunderstood. I didn't understand well enough myself to try right now. A moment to think would have done me a lot of good, but this throbbing headache needed to go away before that would happen.

We laid there in silence for a while, my numbness slowly fading as Jacob lent his body heat to me, neither of us quite knowing what to say.

Finally, Jacob broke the silence. "Bella... What were you trying to do?"

I opened my mouth, and then shut it again abruptly. I knew what he meant. He was wondering if I was trying to kill myself, or if I was simply being an idiot. Maybe it was both. I knew the fall could kill me, but at that moment I didn't care. I cringed internally. That explanation was worse than any of them.

After a moment, I whispered, "Earlier, you asked what I was thinking. The truth is… I don't know what I was thinking, Jacob." It was all I could manage for now. I cleared my throat, which still felt strained.

Jacob grasped my shoulders and gently turned my body around to face him. He gazed into my eyes, looking for answers. He must have seen the confusion and hurt in them, because he sighed and pulled me into his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my head lovingly, and I felt relieved. I knew he realized that I just couldn't fully answer him yet. I was grateful for that.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, dropping that line of questioning.

"Better," I croaked. "... Thank you."

He laughed humorlessly. "What are you thanking me for, Bella?

I pulled back slightly, and looked up to meet his eyes. They were deep and comforting, endless pools of black that I could get lost in for days. "You saved me," I whispered.

"How could I have done anything else?" he replied quietly.

"Also," I amended. "Thanks for not making me feel shittier than I already do. I think I'm beating myself up enough for the both of us." I looked down, still processing my shame.

There were a few heartbeats of silence between us. Then, Jacob hooked his finger under my chin, and turned my face toward his again. "You're acting as though I had a choice, Bella," he whispered, searching my eyes. "You are everything to me. I didn't think, not for a second. I saw my world shatter when you jumped. I had to jump with you."

I could see anger, fear, love, and relief all flashing across his face as he recalled the memory of what he had witnessed. "Jacob," I sighed.

He smiled then. "What you did may have been stupid… but I love you anyway. You know I do."

My heart swelled with affection when I realized he had already forgiven me from the start. He also wasn't afraid to agree that I was being stupid. I loved his honesty.

Jacob was reviving me in more ways than one. Here he was, holding me and bringing me back to life. He would always be right here, I had no doubt in my mind.

And yet, I hesitated to say that I loved him too. I knew that I did… I loved Jacob. But how could I give him hope where there couldn't be any? My heart was broken into pieces. I was too far gone thanks to… Edward. Wasn't I? How could I love him the way he truly deserved? I didn't think I would ever be able to, no matter how far my best friend brought me back from the dead.

I just leaned forward, resting my forehead on his chest. I snaked my free hand around his back and squeezed weakly, hoping he could feel my love for him.

It was then that I realized how silent the house was. "Where's Billy?" I asked.

Jacob stiffened, and I pulled back slightly to look at his face. His brows were stitched together into a pained expression, and I waited for his reply with baited breath. What had happened to Billy while I was so selfishly preoccupied with myself?

"Is he okay?" I urged, my eyes wide.

"It's not my dad," Jacob finally said, his eyes not meeting mine. "Harry Clearwater had a heart attack. My dad is with his family. Bells, he's... he's gone."

It took a moment for my still sluggish brain to process what Jacob had just said. But when it did, I shot up into a sitting position, ignoring the rush of fresh pain to my head.

My eyes stared at the floor blankly. Harry was Charlie's best friend. I remember eating his famous fish fry as a kid once. They had gone fishing together that morning, competing over who would get the most for the day. Well, they ended up catching so many that they lost count, and we had to invite half the reservation over to Harry's to help eat them all. Leah and Seth, just toddlers at that time, were so proud of their father.

I whipped my head around to look at Jacob, who had just sat up as well. His expression was grave, and I blinked back fresh tears as the news sunk in. "Seth and Leah... are they okay? And Sue... oh, poor Sue..."

"Charlie and my dad took care of Sue when it happened," he replied. "My dad's still over there I think. She's been pretty out of it... No one can get her to say much, she's too damn overwhelmed." His face darkened then. "Seth and Leah are a different story entirely. Sam is with them right now."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused at the mention of Sam.

"They've caught the fever, Bella," he said. "They're going to phase soon. Both of them."

"But... Leah-"

"Yes, I know," he interrupted. "It's unheard of for a female to become one of us. And Seth will be the youngest member of the pack in a hundred years. But traumatic experiences have been known to cause unusual transformations before... The shock of their father's death triggered it. It could be a defense mechanism ingrained in our DNA. Who knows?" He got quieter as he became lost in his thoughts.

It was clear that Jacob and the pack didn't have the slightest idea what to expect from these recent developments. Not to mention that Victoria was still out there somewhere... The pack couldn't even stop to grieve. They couldn't afford to let their guard down when a sadistic vampire was threatening their territory. My mind swam with all of this new information, not able to make sense of any of it.

My eyes shifted to the window as I noticed how dark it was outside, and I checked the time on a clock on the living room wall. I was shocked to see it was already past 9 PM.

"I'm sorry, Jake... I have to get home. I need to check on Charlie." I felt so guilty that he had been left to deal with this tragedy all day while I was off being reckless. I couldn't imagine what he was feeling after losing his best friend, and the last thing he needed was to be worried about where I was all night long.

"Come on," Jacob said, taking my hand. "Let's get you home."

ooooooooooooooooooo

It was almost 10 o clock by the time we pulled up to my house. I saw Charlie's police cruiser in the driveway, and wondered how long he had been here alone. I saw the light on in the living room, and my guilt panged again as I realized he had been waiting up for me.

Jacob must have seen my concerned expression. He reached over to interlock his fingers with my own, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. I smiled at how such a small gesture seemed to calm my anxiety instantaneously.

We headed inside to find Charlie in his old recliner, watching TV. "I'm home, Charlie," I called gently. His eyes shifted to me, and he moved to get up. I noticed how tired he looked, deep circles under his eyes and exhaustion obvious in his sluggish movement as he walked toward me, nodding at Jacob.

"Hey, Bells," he said gruffly. He allowed me to close the distance and wrap my arms around him in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry, Dad," I whispered. "Are you okay?"

He extracted himself from my arms and grunted. I hoped that was some form of a yes. I thought I heard him mutter something about going to bed, and he shuffled off to his bedroom without another word. I knew that this was how Charlie was. He was never one to openly divulge his emotions. He was going to be especially reserved for a while, caught up in his grief. I would take care of him, and at least let him know that I was there for him in the meantime. It was the least I could do... He did the same for me under much less serious circumstances. I suddently felt embarrassed thinking about how I'd acted after he left. It was as if someone had died. In this case, someone actually had. Charlie needed me now more than ever.

I turned to Jacob and noted how exhausted he looked as well. I vaguely wondered when he last slept. There was pain in his face too. He must have been trying to conceal it for my sake, but his resolve was slipping. "Harry was literally around my whole life. He and my dad were always together, like brothers," he whispered. I could see tears well up behind his eyes, although I knew he wouldn't let them fall so easily.

My heart ached as I witnessed his pain. Without thinking, I stepped forward and crashed into him, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing tightly. I rested my head against his muscled chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. He returned my embrace eagerly and buried his face in my hair to breathe in my scent.

I just wanted to take his suffering away and replace it with all the happiness I could possibly give him. In my mind, I allowed myself to envision what that would look like. I saw us walking along First Beach in La Push, hand in hand. In my thoughts, Jacob bent down to place a soft kiss on my cheek. We were smiling, laughing, and loving each other. Our friendship was unfailing, but there was also an air of romance about the two of us on that beach, and I realized that I was smiling at the images flashing before my closed eyes. My heart skipped a beat as I thought about what that meant.

Was this the kind of love that I had been looking for all this time? I think I've known for a while that I had been looking for it from the wrong man, from Edward... who could never truly give it to me, even if he wanted to. I noted with a small bit of satisfaction that his name came to mind without tearing at my chest like it usually did. It was a definite improvement.

Could I actually be capable of giving someone that kind of selfless love? Was it possible that I could give it to my best friend? Maybe soon... I could allow myself to believe that I was getting better.

If anyone could make me better, it would be Jacob. Would it be so wrong to let him try?

Bella obviously has a lot of thoughts to sort through. Stay tuned, and please let me know how I did in a review! I do my best to take criticisms to heart, and positive reviews give me the motivation to keep writing. :)