Warnings: Mentions of the violence and rape from chapters 2-3, but no more depictions of it. There is a dream scene with psychological torture, so, be wary. The boys are otherwise safe now (physically)!

Also, sorry it took so long to post! Thank you for your support!

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What Heroes Would Choose

Chapter 4

Both Bakugo and Todoroki were emotionally fried, staring at their broken, now unconscious shared love with almost apathy. But that seeming lack of care was only the numbness taking hold—an evolutionary adaptation to help them disassociate after committing such heinous acts.

They'd tortured and raped the person they cared for most because Shigaraki had threatened to do far worse to Midoriya if they didn't. In return for betraying their friend without his knowledge, they'd all be set free…

"Well done! Look at him… Master was right… destroying without killing is so much better! He didn't even fight back towards the end! Did you see that? He actually got himself off on Bakugo!"

Katsuki turned to the camera, eyeing it with a glare that could run anyone's blood cold. His anger was cut short though, as he felt an all too familiar prick in his neck. He turned to Shoto as his vision began blurring, seeing him pull a needle out as well before they both fell into darkness.

Bakugo felt someone holding his hand. He wished with all his might that every terrible moment he'd spent with the villains was fake… that it had all been some twisted dream that he'd go get psychiatric help for. But even before his eyes opened, he knew it was real.

His knuckles were stiff, letting him know that he really had beaten Izuku into submission. If he had his way, he'd go back to sleep and never wake up again. He didn't even know if they were still being held captive or not.

"Kacchan… P-please… w-wake u-up…"

Bakugo's eyes snapped open when he recognized the voice and sat up so quickly his head rushed with dizziness. Once he refocused, he found that it was indeed Izuku who was begging him to wake up and holding his hand. He was sitting in a chair between him and Todoroki, more tears than he'd ever seen slipping from eyes that were nearly swollen shut from being beaten, but he was clean and wrapped in bandages.

Katsuki remained tense and frozen when Midoriya released his fingers to hug him, sobbing into his shoulder with abandon. He could hear him saying something but couldn't believe it. Deku was mumbling about how happy he was that they were okay. "Okay?" his mind reeled, "I'm not okay. Todoroki is not okay. YOU ARE NOT. FUCKING. OKAY."

"Kacchan… Shoto i-is s-still..." Izuku continued, pointing to Todoroki's unconscious form in the hospital bed next to him.

Bakugo didn't say a word as he dragged himself out of his covers to get closer to the slumbering teen, giving his cheek a few whacks despite how Midoriya protested the rough treatment. Eventually, Todoroki stirred and looked equally as distressed as Bakugo upon getting sight of Izuku.

The two shared a hasty, guilt-ridden glance and then looked away, choosing instead to focus on where they were.

"Looks like that fucking freak really did let us go," Katsuki stated, struggling to stay on his feet as disorientation nipped at his equilibrium.

Shoto slowly pushed himself up against his pillow, keeping his head down to cover his eyes knowing they'd give him away. He felt Midoriya's mummified arms around him and couldn't help but let himself glance to Bakugo again. The blonde grit his teeth and cursed under his breath in response.

Neither of them felt they deserved this kind of affection and care after what they'd done. Not from anyone, but especially not from the person they'd done it to. If Midoriya ever found out, he'd surely hate them for all eternity.

Both, though not wielding a telepathic quirk, knew what the other was thinking. Questions swirled in their minds about how they should go about the ordeal. Was it right to not tell Midoriya about their part in his torture and rape? Could they live with themselves for not saying something? Could they live with themselves for saying something? Would he hate them more for telling the truth or for trying to keep it covered up?'

They didn't have answers for any of their queries and that just made them even more unsure of how to go about being near Midoriya again.

"You should be in bed, Izuku," Todoroki stated flatly, pulling away from the unwelcomed and yet completely wanted embrace.

Deku nodded and did his best to rub his eyes. He hiccupped slightly before answering. "Can I stay in bed with one of you?"

When both boys didn't answer, stunned looks on their faces, he kept talking. "I… I just… I'm scared and t-thought that maybe you'd…hold me?" he admitted weakly, letting himself look as small as he felt. He trusted that they wouldn't make fun of him for it. They were his childhood best friend and current best friend; they'd take care of him.

Despite his plea though, Bakugo bluntly said 'no' as Todoroki shook his head in refusal, each turning away to hide their own shame. If they had looked, they might have seen how Izuku curled in on himself like he'd received a body blow from All Might at full power.

It didn't even occur to their turmoil-filled minds that Izuku felt more shame than them and being so callously brushed off when he'd asked for comfort made him feel as worthless as Shigaraki had told him he was.

But he didn't push them. Midoriya never wanted anyone to feel uncomfortable even if his very soul was dying inside him and shriveling up into nothing. He went back to his own bed without another word or glance to either of them, laying so that he faced a wall. His broken sobs were stifled in his pillow, the only sign that he was still awake hours later was his shoulders shaking as he tried to breathe.

The next day, Izuku was the last to rouse. Recovery girl had come by to treat him twice now, and his stamina was thoroughly depleted. Still, he got to wake up to Bakugo and Todoroki's voices. They were sitting at a small square table that had been pressed up to the wall.

Bakugo sat on one end, facing him, while Todoroki sat across from the wall, staring out the window as he listened to whatever the blonde was mumbling. Midoriya felt butterflies in his stomach even as it growled to be fed. He loved them both so much and was glad they were there.

He took a deep, calming breath. "Yesterday didn't mean anything. They were just upset is all… Yeah, that must be it… They care about me in their own explosive and quiet ways… I'll just start talking to them and then everything will be fine."

Deku struggled through the pain and stiffness that consumed his body to hobble over, taking the tray a nurse had left him to the table.

He sat down in the only spare chair, across from Bakugo and cattycorner to Todoroki, giving them a small smile. It was rare to even see them in the same room without some form of argument or measuring contest going on. The sight made Izuku's heart swell with happiness.

"Is the food any good here?" he asked, looking between the two as he unpacked the rice and protein shake.

Bakugo gave an ambiguous grunt while Todoroki seemed to be attempting to scoot farther away from him. Izuku felt his throat tighten. Did his presence make them uncomfortable? Were they disgusted by him?

"I… u-umm…" Midoriya tried, but neither boy looked up at him from their plates. They were pointedly avoiding him and even the most oblivious person would notice.

Izuku lowered his head and started to cry, the salty tears dripping down into his untouched food. He wasn't hungry anymore; his stomach was too twisted into dread-filled knots to even consider taking a bite. So much for butterflies.

"Get back in bed, nerd. You're still hurt." Bakugo ordered, though his voice was hollow, completely different from how it had been before they were captured.

Deku knew what he said, but what he heard instead was 'Get away from us, you're ruined'. He nodded in defeat and moved to get away, only to have one of his legs give out from exhaustion and stress.

He'd fallen multiple times in front of both boys before and thought he knew what to expect. Bakugo had always sneered and called him weak even as he'd roughly help him to his feet while Todoroki would dive to catch him. But instead of strong, warm arms around him or at least a yank on his hospital gown collar, he was met with a face full of softly packed snow and only silence from the blonde.

"Was Shigaraki right… Do they… not want to be my friends anymore?" he wondered sadly, staying still when nurses rushed into the room to help him back into bed.

Time-Skip: Two Days

Principal Nezu, All Might, Aizawa, and Detective Tsukauchi sat on one side of a long table in one of the hospital's seminar rooms while Bakugo, Todoroki, and their caretakers sat on the other. The UA staff had finally received the entire report from the doctors overseeing the boy's treatment and had… questions.

The teens described everything—went over every detail of what they'd done to Izuku after Shigaraki had explained the 'game' they had to play in order to keep all three of them alive. Even Endeavor was silent when they finished, everyone trying to absorb the horrors Tomura was capable of doling out.

"In my opinion, you were forced to choose between two unthinkable options; My office will not be seeking legal action against either of you," Tsukauchi stated, breaking the oppressive silence.

"As it should be." Endeavor responded gruffly. "My son—none of these children should have ever been captured at all, much less at UA itself. The responsibility falls on you and your failure to protect the next generation of heroes."

Nezu nodded in agreement. "It was indeed another grave failure on our part that we vow to never allow to happen again. We are working closely with all security corporations and heroes in the world to ensure UA is protected against all threats—even those that can come from internal leaks as with Denki Kaminari, a former Class-1A student."

"And what about Katsuki and Shoto?" Mitsuki questioned, "the police aren't going to punish them, but are you?"

"No, we wholeheartedly agree will Mr. Tsukauchi," Nezu answered. "They will be allowed to return to UA as soon as they are cleared… However..."

"However, what?" Endeavor growled. "We've established this wasn't their fault."

Aizawa answered this time, picking up on what Nezu was thinking. "Fault or not, right or wrong, it doesn't matter. They attacked a fellow student—a friend. From what Bakugo and Todoroki have said, Midoriya is so far unaware of their role in what happened to him. Assuming we do explain the details of his torture to him, Midoriya will likely feel extreme distrust and fear in their presence. He has as much right to return to UA as they do, so—"

"Move us to any other class, suspend us, kick us out, Todoroki and I are willing to accept whatever decision you make, right icy-hot?" Katsuki interrupted, getting a supportive nod from the dual user beside him.

Nezu wrung his hands together stressfully, not wanting to punish any of them after what they'd suffered through. Bakugo and Todoroki hadn't been physically harmed during the ordeal, but the psychological trauma of making such a decision and then actually going through with it was equally as damaging as any injury to the body.

"What is it, sir?" All Might asked quietly, noticing the tense thoughtfulness in his face.

The rat sighed and flickered his gaze between the teenagers, examining and analyzing their downcast expressions and broken posture. "We've already put together a panel of expert psychologists to ensure that you three are stable enough to return to UA… With the new information on what happened, I think it would be wise to ask them if young Midoriya should even be made aware of who hurt him—I'm not qualified to say… But regardless of their decision on how much detail he should have, you two know everything."

"Your point?" Endeavor seethed, already sensing where the Principal was going.

"Well," Nezu continued, "Katsuki, Shoto… Will you be able to handle being around Izuku if he isn't told or if he is and wants to try to remain classmates with you?"

Both prospective heroes gulped. They'd been back all of three days and had spent the majority of that time doing everything in their power to stay away from Izuku. In theory, as long as they didn't have to interact with him all the time they might be able to get through another year and a half… But they honestly weren't sure, and it showed on their features.

Nezu hummed in acknowledgment, sympathizing as best he could with their misfortune. "Do not fear, students; we will face these challenges with you and do our best to overcome them when they arise. It will likely be some time before Izuku is ready to return to class with his physical injuries so severe, therefore we have time to let the dust settle."

Katsuki and Shoto nodded, but neither felt even remotely uplifted by the supportive words. How could anything ever be alright again after what they'd done?

~Time-Skip: 1 Week~

*Izuku's Dream*

Midoriya was almost unable to move he hurt so badly; there wasn't a single spot on his entire body that didn't burn and ache. His vision was still a blur, but he was able to make out shapes now and began trembling violently when he recognized Shigaraki's silhouette coming towards him. Despite the agony it caused, he tried to wriggle away, whimpering and shaking his head with fear.

"Not so tough now are you, Mini-Might?" Tomura sneered, crouching so that he could flick his forehead. Izuku couldn't bring himself to say anything, tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth; he could still taste the bitter saltiness of semen in his throat, feel its dried stickiness on his lips, and between his legs.

Shigaraki laughed at his terror-induced paralysis, finding that this kind of destruction was so much more delightful to him than just disintegrating. "Oh, don't worry little hero… I'm not going to hurt you anymore… In fact, I'm going to let you and your buddies go! Well, I guess they were your friends; I doubt they are now."

Midoriya hesitantly looked up, trying to determine what the villain meant by 'were' even though his vision was still too distorted to make out the tone of his expression. All he could distinguish was Shigaraki's smile widening at his dread-filled confusion, the sight making him gulp.

"Still swallowing, huh?" Tomura taunted, "I bet they loved that as much as we did… and of course, you getting off twice even after you'd already been beaten and cut to ribbons. How shocking it must be for them to realize their sweet, innocent, Deku is actually a filthy slut."

Midoriya flinched, twisting his head down to the floor to try and block out the cruel words. It was like being defiled all over again in an entirely different way. His shoulders shook pitifully as he cried, arms wrapping around his curled form protectively.

"Worthless. Failure. What kind of Symbol of Peace lets himself and his best friends get captured?" Shigaraki continued, digging the knife deeper into Midoriya's heart. "Even that annoying smile of yours can't hide how ruined you are; everyone is going to see that you're nothing. No one will believe in you ever again—they won't even want to be near something as repulsive as you."

"P-please s-stop…" Midoriya begged to no avail.

"Quiet! I'm not done with you yet. How about we talk about what All Might is going to think of you next, hmm?"

*End Dream*

Izuku screeched as he rocketed up, hyperventilating with residual fear from one of the nightmares he had every time he managed to cry himself to sleep. No matter what he did, the 'conversation' he'd had with Shigaraki right before they'd warped him, Bakugo, and Todoroki to the edge of the city replayed in his head. It haunted him and crushed the already broken pieces of his self-esteem; destroying what was left of any hope he had for the future.

The nurse popped her head in as she usually did, giving him a quick once over before slipping back out when he waved her off. Izuku rubbed his still swollen eyes and peeled himself out of bed to shower—it was the only thing that seemed to give him enough motivation to move at all.

Bakugo and Todoroki had been discharged earlier that week, though their 'goodbye' had been just as detached as the rest of their interactions with him since they'd been released. Only his mother and some of the teachers had been allowed to come and see him since and he wanted to believe that's why he hadn't heard from the two he missed most but, it was doubtful.

Even after they refused to let him take comfort in sleeping next to them, even after he'd tried to sit with them to eat and make conversation only to be told to go back to bed, he'd maintained hope that it was just phase of sorts.

But as the day's past, they'd continued to shut Midoriya out. When he'd try to strike up a conversation, they'd both give short, uninterested answers. When he'd work up enough courage to try and sit next to them again, they'd recoil slightly and turn away from him.

It made him feel dirty, unwanted, and most of all defeated. While they hadn't gone through exactly the same thing, they were the only people he knew that could at least relate to being Tomura's captive.

Shigaraki had dug into his existing insecurities with deadly accuracy, reminding him of how he felt unworthy of his power, of how he'd be quirkless again one day. He told him about how All Might would be disappointed that he'd been captured and failed to protect his friends. He'd taunted Izuku about how he'd behaved during the torture and rape sessions. Bakugo and Todoroki's behavior made him question if Tomura was telling the truth.

He wished they would tell him that he wasn't 'a filthy slut' or at least not 'worthless' or a 'failure' as now potentially permanently carved into his chest and back. But the only thing he'd been able to get out of them was half-hearted grunts and head movements. He wouldn't dare ask them if they thought that about him directly.

Izuku knew in his heart that Tomura's words were groundless or at the very least only used to hurt him. But he still feared that maybe his two friends believed them on some level and couldn't bring himself to find out the truth.

Midoriya sat solemnly on his bed, totally exhausted from showering that morning. He absently picked at a scab on his collarbone where one of his attacker's bites had broken the skin, still attempting to repress the disruptive thoughts that never ceased.

A knock at his door pulled him out of his catatonia and he sat up straight, pretending that he wasn't actually freefalling into depression. "Come in…"

"Midoriya, my boy…" Toshinori said softly, easing into the room so as not to frighten him. There had already been several incidents with male hospital staff and even strangers walking past the door where he'd been startled and quickly flew into a panic attack.

"All Might… Mr. Tsukauchi…" he greeted quietly, blinking back the tears that threatened to form at seeing his mentor. "Is everything alright?"

Both turned to each other, neither wanting to be the one to speak first. Eventually, All Might caved, internally scolding himself for trying to take the easy way out when Izuku was his charge… the child who'd put all his trust in him and he'd failed.

"It's about what happened to you…" Toshi explained, tears threatening to fill his own eyes when Midoriya flinched and stayed tense. "We need to talk about who assaulted you—"

"I don't want to talk about that." Izuku sighed. He got out of his bed and hobbled towards the table at the window. If they were really going to have this conversation, he needed to be able to look at something other than his idol's face.

Tsukauchi and Toshi followed him, taking seats in the two free chairs. Everyone sat stiffly as the clock ticked maddeningly on the wall.

"Young Midoriya, I know this is hard… but you can't ignore the trauma and hope it will go away…" All Might explained, fumbling over the right words to use. He had absolutely no idea what kind of hell-storm was brewing inside of the teen, but he'd seen plenty of heroes destroy themselves after witnessing horrors.

The psychologist panel that UA had assembled had discussed the situation at length, careening back and forth as even they struggled to make a decision. Though Todoroki and Bakugo had hurt Izuku out of a desire to protect him from what they thought was a worse alternative, they all agreed that it would be more than traumatic for him to know that the people he trusted with his life were even capable of doing such terrible things to him. It had taken more time to agree on if he should be told, however. Eventually, the conclusion was that Midoriya should be as it would be far better for him to find out in a controlled setting rather than risking another way.

Midoriya shook his head though, lowering his eyes from the near blinding sun that poured over him. "I... I'm n-not… It's just… Why do I need to talk about w-who did it?"

Toshinori held up his hand slowly and made sure Deku saw it before moving it just as slowly to his shoulder. "Izuku… The most brilliant minds in the world came to the conclusion that you need to know… Need to know that it was—"

"Kacchan, Shoto, and I are back. We're safe. That's all that matters so why can't everyone just stop bothering me? I'm telling you I don't care about who did what or why, so, drop it." Midoriya snapped, his voice rising in irritation.

The two elder men in the room were taken aback by the outburst; Izuku had never interrupted anyone before, especially not All Might, nor had he ever been that short-tempered. His breathing was becoming shallower with each passing second, skin paling and turning almost ashen as panic rose behind his sternum.

"Alright, alright…" Tsukauchi conceded, not wanting to push Midoriya too hard before he was ready. "We will put this conversation on hold for the time being."

Izuku kept his hands on the edge of his chair, squeezing tightly to keep himself from falling apart. He hadn't meant to lose his temper like that—he wanted to apologize but his throat was tight and blocking any sounds he attempted.

"You'll be released back to your mother tomorrow. Recovery Girl will continue to come by your home to finish any physical healing that is still needed and begin therapy sessions. Police and Pro Heroes will be monitoring the area in case the League of Villains tries to come near you again." Tsukauchi continued, moving to stand.

"It's going to be alright, my boy…" All Might added, though he was extremely unnerved by the fractured look in Izuku's eyes. Neither of them could bring themselves to smile.

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Another dick-punch of a chapter, but we're getting to the psychological devolvement now!

Thank you to everyone who has commented on this story! I really appreciate getting to read comments after a long day of soul-crushing, back-breaking work.