WARNINGS: Mentions of prior violence; no depictions! But please let me know if you think differently!
Ugh. I hate my job #FuckFastFood
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What Heroes Would Choose
Chapter 6
Izuku brushed his freshly washed hair, only glancing in the mirror every few strokes to make sure he wasn't making the wet curls more unruly. His bathroom was still hot and humid from his shower; he always made it scalding in an attempt to wash away the self-disgust he felt even though it reminded him of nearly being drowned in blistering water. It also had the annoying consequence of inhibiting his ability to get dry enough to pull on his clothes afterward.
He refused to open the door or walk to his room to cool off faster though. The one time he'd done so his mother had seen him, dropping a vase she'd been moving from the sight of his newest scars. She had only been startled by the angry red 'failure' carved into his chest, but it had made his skin crawl with shame. It was already bad enough that he was forced to see the marks every time he tried to clean himself.
When he finally was able to cover his upper body and leave the bathroom, he heard voices in his living room. Izuku shivered and closed his eyes, reminding himself that this was necessary. It was almost time for his biweekly appointment with Recovery Girl, so he figured that's who it was.
"Midoriya!" the old woman called when he stepped out of the hallway. "This young man says you made plans during our set time? Did you spontaneously forget or just not want to tell me you weren't feeling up to our appointment today?"
Izuku's brows furrowed as he tilted his head and looked around, finding Shinso sipping some tea and failing to hide a tired yet mischievous smile.
Despite himself, Midoriya found that he couldn't help but let a small, mockingly disapproving smile form on his own lips. "I… um… sorry, Recovery Girl…" he managed, turning back to her.
Chiyo, however, let out a loud laugh. She had the most experience of anyone in that room and knew full well that Shinso had shown up without warning Midoriya to 'save' him from her. She waved her hand in fake defeat and took a very confused Inko into the kitchen for the cookies she'd offered earlier, giving a wink back to the colluding teens.
Chiyo figured that Izuku was struggling far more desperately than he was letting on and therapy was designed to help… but sometimes it was better to just be with a friend; this once he could play hooky.
"What are you doing here?" Izuku asked once they had stepped outside. It wasn't that he minded Shinso showing up, but he hadn't texted him about going to his special hideout.
"I've got somewhere else to take you today… If you're feeling up to it of course." Shinso responded, already heading to his car. He smiled some when Izuku trailed after him, for once not stained in tears or dragging his feet like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
"Ice-cream?" Midoriya stated incredulously, the old feeling of wanting to laugh barely prickling in his chest. "You busted me out of my required therapy session to take me to get sweets?"
"What? I got Recovery Girls' approval... in a manner of speaking. Besides, you've lost weight; I figure the best way to combat that is to stuff you full of calories." Shinso defended, giving Midoriya a bored and matter of fact look.
Izuku already had his arms wrapped around himself and wiggled his fingers to see if it was true. He wasn't nearly as scrawny as he had been before he'd begun his hero journey, but some of his muscle had dwindled. He figured Shinso had noticed when hugging him after his panic attack, but it did make him wonder what else he'd been able to feel.
Could he tell that he'd been beaten until his bones were splintered inside him? That his already scarred skin had new marks added? That he'd lost his virginity in the most brutal way and still gotten off from it?
His face fell as his thoughts quickly turned dark, air becoming much harder to draw into his lungs. He sensed more than saw Shinso stepping in front of him, his deep voice penetrating the waterlogged deafness in his ears. Once again, he found himself mimicking the teen's chest movements until he was back to calm anxiousness.
"Thanks…" Izuku breathed, swallowing hard. "I'm sorry I keep doing that to you…"
Shinso smiled softly and shrugged, opening the door to the parlor like nothing had happened. "It's really not a problem Midoriya. I'm just glad that I can help."
Almost as soon as they were at the observing counter, Deku had almost reverted to his pre-captivity demeanor, fanboying over the different flavors and sundaes that had been inspired by current and past heroes. "Shinso look! They even have one for All Might! It's got banana ice-cream, blue raspberry topping, strawberry topping, and whip cream! All of his colors: yellow, blue, red, and white!"
The brainwasher grinned and almost rolled his eyes; Midoriya was actually a child in a teenager's body. He turned to the lady who was equally as amused by his antics, "I'll take one of those and a simple hot fudge sundae, please."
Midoriya protested when Shinso handed the lady money for both but quickly resorted to pouting his lip out. "You didn't have to do that you know…"
Shinso hummed and led them to some seats in a more sparsely populated part of the building. They ate in silence for a few moments before he spoke up. "So, how are you feeling? Again… no pressure to tell me anything."
Midoriya let out a weak, humorless laugh, playing with his sundae some. "You know, you're so different from Kacchan who would force me to talk if I refused, and Shoto who'd tell himself it wasn't his business to ask…"
Hitoshi examined Izuku's face for a few seconds, taking in the almost longing look in his eyes. "But you wish that they were here?"
Midoriya paled and started shaking his head, a stream of apologies flowing from his mouth mixed in with phrases like 'it's not like that' and 'I'm so grateful for your company' but the one that stuck out the most was 'please don't stop spending time with me!'"
Shinso reached out and took hold of Midoriya's hand, successfully stopping his ranting though not the tears that had distorted his shining eyes. "Midor— no, Izuku, look at me, please. Can you do that?"
Midoriya sniffed and forced himself to make eye contact, preparing himself for the worst. But Shinso's purple orbs were soft and understanding which had the unintended effect of almost making him feel worse.
"I wasn't implying that you were using me to make up for their absence or that you wish they were here instead of me. But even if that was the case, I wouldn't take it personally. I can tell that you care for them both very much and I'd never fault you for wanting their company, especially when they know better than anyone what you're going through. I'm just here to be your friend in whatever form you need it. I promise I won't stop spending time with you no matter what, okay?"
Izuku hiccupped and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, bowing his head in thanks as he often did around Shinso. "Can we g-go back to the woods? I… I think I'm ready to tell you what h-happened n-now…"
Todoroki sat on the Bakugo families back balcony, patiently letting the blonde look over the worst of his partially self-inflicted wounds. It was late, and they were both tired but Shoto didn't want to go back to the UA dorm yet, and Katsuki never made him. His parents insisted that he come home every weekend now and though it had irritated him at first, the blonde found that they tended to leave him alone more than the nosey extras from his class.
Besides, if they didn't put too much thought into it, they could pretend that they were close to Midoriya since he lived in the apartment building across the street. Shoto glanced over again, able to see the mossy-haired teens front door clearly in the moonlight.
"What do you think he's doing right now? Reading another hero article or eating as much Katsudon as he can physically hold?" Todoroki mused sadly, pressing his forehead against the safety bars that kept him from accidentally falling... or jumping to his death.
"Tsk. Hell if I know. Little shit is always spazzing about something so he's probably doing some nerdy ass notetaking in his 'Hero Analysis for the Future' books." Bakugo responded. He too looked over, pinning just as hard as his newest friend.
"When did you know you loved him?" Shoto asked, tilting his head back to stare up at Katsuki.
"What the fuck kind of question is that? Would you answer some personal shit like that if I asked? No. So fuck off."
Todoroki waited to speak until Bakugo had sat down next to him, both letting their legs dangle off the edge as they gazed across the street. This was how they ended every weekend night, watching Izuku's door in the hopes that they'd get to see him.
"It was our first Sports Festival for me… He gave up his chance at winning because I apparently 'looked very sad'… only Izuku would be that selfless. You know those scars he got from breaking his arm in that fight aren't even the worst part… he has permanent damage because of me. But he wanted to be friends after that anyway… From there I don't know… he just…"
"Lights up the fucking room?" Bakugo finished for him.
"Yeah…"
It took a few more minutes before small explosions sparked around Bakugo's hands, his teeth grinding loudly in frustration.
"Might as well fucking tell you since you're in one of your little sappy moods. I guess I've always loved Deku, I just couldn't fucking admit it until recently. The little bastard had my heart from the first time I saw those stupidly big green eyes."
"Then why did you treat him so badly?" Todoroki pushed, temporarily switching his gaze to the blonde.
Katsuki hissed in annoyance but eventually admitted defeat. Between two people who shared such debilitating guilt, there was no reason for secrets, especially not after his pride had been so thoroughly ruined.
"I can't fucking give you all the details… It's not my secret to tell anyways but… I guess for my part it's because I was arrogant and stupid and just a general asshole. I couldn't accept that it was him that I fell for out of all fucking people and then I thought he lied to me which only made it worse… Now I know the truth and I really feel like a dumbass. Fucking Deku always had a way of making me question how fucking great I am…was…"
Todoroki hummed, wondering what 'secret' it was and how Bakugo could even think someone like Midoriya was capable of lying. But he didn't push any farther, accepting that he'd probably already gotten more out of the explosively reserved blonde than was natural.
Bakugo tensed before either of them could say anything else and Shoto followed his line of sight until it landed on two familiar figures heading towards the Midoriya residence. He could feel the jealousy and rage emanating off of the blonde and felt the exact same way.
"Hitoshi Shinso…" Todoroki stated through gritted teeth. He knew him first from the Sports Festival and then from sporadically spending time with Izuku during school. Then he'd been transferred into the Hero Course during their second year, Class 1-B.
"What the fuck is he doing?" Bakugo growled back, his hands smoking as if it would intimidate the teen all the way over there.
They watched as Midoriya and Shinso strolled more than walked towards the door, stopping in front of it to talk a bit longer. The taller boy had his hands on Izuku's shoulders, saying something to him that seemed to make him flash his signature wobbly smile and nod vigorously.
Shoto actually froze one bar and started melting another when he watched Hitoshi pull Deku into a tight hug, the teens fluffy head tucked under his chin as he held onto him just as solidly.
"We don't have any right to be upset." He stated, his voice trembling slightly.
Bakugo ground his teeth again. "Right."
But they both knew it was futile. It burned them deeply to see Midoriya with someone else, even when it had been their decision to stay away. They both kept their eyes firmly planted on the two as they separated and Shinso waited for Izuku to enter his apartment.
When he turned to leave, however, the brainwasher saw them staring and stared back, tilting his head to the side and waving to let them know they'd been caught. He simply sauntered off after that, hands in his pockets like he didn't have a care in the world.
Shinso played with his cat after he got home. He was usually awake late, but tonight his thoughts kept him up more than his insomnia. After getting ice cream with Midoriya, the boy had asked to go to their special hideout to talk and once he got started, he didn't stop for hours.
Hitoshi had sat through the whole thing with only slightly showing how deeply disturbed he was, knowing full well that if he was this effected, then Midoriya was doing better than anyone was giving him credit for. He'd described, in as much detail as he could manage, every moment he'd spent in that hell hole.
Izuku had told him about the pain, the fear, the emotions, everything. Shinso doubted very much that anyone other than the next Symbol of Peace would be able to handle such an ordeal without losing their mind.
It also helped him understand why Bakugo and Todoroki were distancing themselves from Midoriya even though it wasn't helping any of them heal. They'd been captives with him when he was beaten. They'd been captives with him when he was nearly drowned and carved into with knives. They'd been captives with him when he was forced onto a bed and taken advantage of.
Katsuki and Shoto had been captives who had seen the whole thing because they'd been the ones to do it… and Izuku knew it was them.
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Lol please let me know what you think! I really enjoy reading your comments... Like for real, I read them when I'm super stressed at my jobs :)