Note: This is a one shot based on my series A Different Kind of Charming. It can be read as a stand alone but a few things may be confusing without the context of the series.
I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing and this was the result. The plot may or may not have been inspired by the fact that no one will go with me to Ikea anymore.
? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ? ﾟﾏﾍ
Jax knows with absolute certainty this is one of the circles of hell.
He lost track of Issa ages ago and now he's walking by the same damn set of couches for the fourth time. This is what he gets for giving into Issa's every demand.
It started like any other hellscape Issa has dragged him into: her innocently asking to go somewhere. And because Jax is both a) a dumbass and b) totally whipped, he said yes without thinking.
There's a reason no one takes Issa to Ikea. Logically, he knows this. But somehow she managed to not only get him to agree but made him believe it was his idea.
She's a goddamn menace.
Now he's here in this Swedish torture chamber trying to find his newly minted live in girlfriend. He's just about ready to say fuck it and let Issa find her own way home when he catches a mass of curls zipping through an aisle. Sighing, he heads in the same direction. He stops short when he rounds the corner.
There, standing in the middle of the aisle is Issa, hands filled with god knows what as she pushes a packed cart with her foot. She has a manic glee in her eyes as she takes in all the pillows on one long shelf. She's mumbling under her breath, a deranged laugh punctuating every other sentence.
Jax is never getting out of this place.
"Baby girl, we have been here for…" Jax checks his watch and is shocked to find they have been in this hell hole for FOUR hours. "Issa, you need to wrap this up. I'm hungry and tired and there is not enough space in our house for… what do we need a melon baller for?"
"For melons, duh!"
Jax sighs, tipping his head up to stare at the ceiling. This is why Issa is not allowed to go to Ikea.
The first time she ever stepped foot in an Ikea, she went with Gemma to get lamps for the dorm rooms. The minute little Issa saw one of the many room displays sprinkled throughout the store, she was a goner. While Gemma went to get the lamps, Issa found a kitchen display and pretended she was hosting a cooking show. It only spurred her on when a few people stopped to watch. By the time Gemma found her, Issa was "taking requests" for the next dish she was to present and someone had started a tip jar.
Issa practically screamed bloody murder as Gemma tried to pull her away from "her audience". Someone alerted security that a woman was trying to abduct a child in the kitchen section. Tig had to come up to the store with his driver's license and Issa's birth certificate to keep Gemma from being arrested for attempted kidnapping.
Her subsequent visits to Ikea didn't go much better. When she was 7, Piney took her, Jax and Opie to get Christmas decorations for the clubhouse. Piney was already annoyed with John for caving and letting Gemma "festive up" SAMCRO's sanctuary. So when he lost track of both Jax and Issa, his patience was in short supply. It took over an hour but he eventually found the two curled up in one of the bedroom displays. He got to them just as he heard Issa whispering, "Uncle Hap said boys and girls are different… down there. Can I see?"
Then there was the time she somehow set the curtains in a living room display on fire. That got them banned from the Ikea in Stockton for life. When her and Lyla were shopping for the bakery, Issa conned the poor woman into going. No one knows exactly what happened on that trip but Lyla refuses to even talk about Ikea now.
Jax knows all of this and yet somehow this gremlin masquerading as his girlfriend scammed him but good. Now he's going to have to convince Issa, high on the weird ass euphoria she gets when she comes to Ikea, they don't need half (if not most) of the stuff currently in her hands and cart.
"Can you hand me that oyster mallet over there?" she asks, dumping even more shit into her cart.
"You're allergic to shellfish, Issa. Why the fuck would you need an oyster mallet?"
"For guests when we have a dinner party! What kind of host would I be if I didn't have an oyster mallet?!"
Jax counts to ten in his head, reminding himself that he wants to live with this crazy lady. Although right now, he's starting to question his decision making skills.
"If you can name two times you've seen anybody in the family eating oysters, you can have the mallet."
Issa opens her mouth, then closes it, eyebrows scrunched together. Jax can almost see the wheels turning in her head, trying in vain to come up with an answer.
"That's what I thought," he says as he puts all the oyster mallets on the top shelf. "Now this is how it's gonna go. I'm gonna pick up an item from the shopping cart. If you can't name two times in the past we've used it, I'm putting it back on the shelf."
"That's not fair!"
"Neither is forcing me to waste one of my days off in Swedish purgatory and yet here I am."
Issa crosses her arms over her chest, scowling at him. Normally, that petulant look would work on him. But Jax is tired, hungry and really fucking tired of not being able to pronounce the names of pieces of furniture.
He picks up a small utensil with a black handle that vaguely resembles a mini rake. He has no idea what it is and he's pretty sure they don't need it.
"What the fuck is this?"
"A citrus zester," Issa answers, giving him a "duh" face.
Jax has to remind himself yet again that he wants to live with this she-devil. "Name two times you've used this…" he raises a hand when Issa goes to speak. "Outside of the bakery."
"That's not fair!"
Jax only arches an eyebrow in response. When he's met with silence, he puts the zester up on the high shelf. He reaches into the cart and pulls out a bright yellow disk with parallel grooves and a movable metal handle. It looks like a medieval birth control sponge. He shows it to her, waiting for her justification.
"It's an egg slicer! That's essential."
"We have knives," Jax points out.
Issa clutches her chest, the model of an offended preacher's wife. "You want me to slice my eggs like a peasant?!"
Jax doesn't dignify that with a response as he puts the egg slicer (seriously? a separate gadget to slice goddamn eggs?) out of her reach. He repeats the process over and over until the cart is just about empty. He's had to move a few times so as not to over pack the top shelves. Issa is growing more and more agitated as one by one, her "essential" items are taken away from her.
"I am a grown woman…"
"That's debatable."
"I am a grown woman," Issa continues, ignoring Jax. "and if I want a fucking olive pitter, I'm getting it."
"You don't even like olives! You call them edible eyeballs and throw them at croweaters who piss you off."
"That was one time…" she stops when Jax raises his eyebrow. Yet again. "Okay, maybe a couple times…" Jax adds a judgmental quirk of his mouth to the mix. "Fine! I throw olives at bitches who can't keep their hands to themselves! Doesn't mean I don't need an olive pitter."
Jax drags a hand over his face. He is so fucking done with Issa right now. Why this store turns her into a deranged hoarder is beyond him. But he'll be damned if he's going to let their house turn into an A&E show.
"I say this with all the love in the world. I will leave your ass in this godforsaken store and tell everyone you left to go join the circus if you don't come to your senses."
Issa's eyes go wide, sucking in a scandalized breath. "You wouldn't!"
"Baby girl, I have been trapped in this living nightmare for over four fucking hours! I have flown by hungry and am firmly in hangry territory. My feet hurt and my eyes have been assaulted by row after row of Scandinavian beige and brown. I love you with every fiber of my being but I am this close to selling your engagement ring on eBay."
Jax doesn't realize his mistake until Issa drops the few remaining items in her arms and asks in a shaky voice, "What engagement ring?"
The only thing going through his head is a steady stream of "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." There is absolutely no way to salvage his slip up. No way he can weasel his way out of an explanation.
Which means he's going to have to fucking propose in goddamn IKEA.
Gemma and Opie will never let him hear the end of this. God only knows what Tig and Happy will have to say about it. Probably a lot of threats of bodily harm sprinkled with howling laughter.
"I don't suppose you'd be willing to forget my last sentence?"
Issa, mouth wide open and eyes suspiciously glassy, shakes her head. Jax breathes in deeply and exhales before getting down on one knee. Issa makes a weird squeaky noise that sounds like a cross between a cat toy and an air horn.
He has the ring in his jacket pocket because ironically enough, he was going to ask her tonight. He had it all planned out too. Sylvie's daughter, who took over the diner when her mom retired, agreed to close down the diner for him and Issa. Lyla and Gemma were tasked with decorating it while Jax and Issa were out shopping.
Sylvie's has always been an essential part of their lives. It's the last memory Issa has of her mom - the two of them sharing a vanilla shake after another round of chemo. It's where Issa took Jax when seeing Tommy in the hospital got to be too much. It's where they spent hours talking and joking before Issa had to go back home to her grandparents. It's where Jax nursed his broken heart every time she left. And it was where they went on their first public date.
Sylvie happened to be at the diner that night and spent most of it loudly proclaiming it was about time Jax got his head out of his ass. She then proceeded to collect money from a few regulars. Apparently there was a years-long betting pool on how long it would take Jax and Issa to get together. Sylvie won big because everyone else thought it would have happened ages ago. Sylvie, however, said she knew Jax would never want to interfere with Issa's dreams. Jax was the color of a ripe tomato by the time Sylvie finished with the story.
As cheesy as it sounds, their entire relationship, both romantic and platonic, is intertwined with that little diner. So it only seemed fitting to come full circle and start a new stage of their relationship there. But now, because this day cannot get any worse, Jax is on one knee surrounded by useless kitchen gadgets and various combinations of yellow and blue.
"I am so much better at putting words on paper than saying them out loud. And I wrote something down, almost had it memorized but all that's out the window now. Because you are a fucking nut job who has a boner for this warehouse of Swedish, moderately priced shit."
Issa let's out a watery laugh because it's not like she can deny it.
"I have loved you from the moment I understood the concept of the word. My entire world, entire being revolves around you. You are my best friend and sometimes the absolute bane of my existence because I can never say no to you."
"That kind of sounds more like a you problem."
"Can you just shut up for once and let me finish this romantic fucking declaration?"
"Should you be cussing during a proposal?"
"I will swallow this ring and leave you here, you psycho."
As he says that, he pulls a small, black velvet box from the inside of his kutte. And just like that, whatever sarcastic comeback Issa had dies on her lips. When he opens the lid, she bursts into tears. Because nestled in the soft cushions of the box is her mother's engagement ring.
Jax went to Tig a month ago and asked for Issa's hand. The two men are brothers by SAMCRO but his love for Issa has changed their dynamic. When it came out that Jax and Issa were dating, Jax was sure Tig would drag him to the ring for not telling him first. But he surprised Jax.
"Look, I know keeping it a secret wasn't your choice."
"How…"
Tig flat out laughed at that. "Because I know my daughter. She's got a big heart but she lets that equally big brain talk her into doubting it."
Jax nodded, a lump forming in his throat. "Tig, man… you gotta know. She's everything to me. I would rather die than hurt her."
Tig leaned back in his chair, fingers brushing over his chin. He didn't say anything for a while, making Jax slowly begin to panic.
Jax has an immense amount of respect for Tig. The man could have easily let the pain and grief of losing the love of his life consume him. He had no idea how to be a single father, barely even knew how to comb Issa's hair. But after allowing himself a week alone to grieve, driving his Harley aimlessly up and down the Pacific coast highway, he returned to Charming, determined to be a worthy father.
He sacrificed and scrapped and poured all of his love and devotion into Issa. She was his light... but also the reason he had to dye his hair to keep the grey away. Issa in return, adored her father. They were two peas in a pod and Jax knew if Tig didn't approve, his relationship with Issa wouldn't survive.
So the panic really started to claw its way up his chest when Tig wordlessly got up and left the room. Jax sat stiffly in his seat, not sure if Tig's actions were a clear dismissal or if the man just needed a moment to himself. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long as Tig came back to the kitchen. Before Jax could even look up, Tig placed a small box on the table in front of him.
Tig motioned with his head for Jax to open the box. In it was a vintage regal pave engagement ring - a center, square emerald surrounded by smaller diamonds all in a rose gold band. Jax knew for a fact the words "more than my Harley" were inscribed on the inside of it. Because this was Marisa Trager's engagement ring.
"She always used to ask me how much I loved her. Mostly she just loved being a pain in the ass…"
"That doesn't sound familiar at all."
Tig chuckled, but it was laced with so much sorrow, it made Jax's heart ache. "Yeah. She's definitely Mari's daughter."
He took a moment, breath stuttering around the edges before he continued. "I think a small part of her, in the beginning, thought I wasn't serious about her. About us. She knew my reputation, knew I wasn't really relationship material. But god, for her, I would have given up anything."
Jax knew exactly what Tig meant because that's how he felt about Issa.
"One day, we were working on my bike. She was a damn good mechanic, would fight any guy who tried to talk down to her about cars."
"Is Issa just a carbon copy of Marisa?"
"Pretty much. So have fun with that," Tig teased.
Jax had to stop himself from saying something dirty.
"Anyways, she was joking about how much time I worked on my bike. So she asked if I loved her as much as it. I think she was expecting me to say something sarcastic but I looked over at her and my heart…" Tig had to stop for a moment, his voice thick with unshed tears. "It was the first time I told her I loved her more than my Harley."
Jax felt a bit like he was intruding. Tig didn't often voluntarily talk about Marisa. Everyone could tell doing so caused him immense pain. He did with Issa but that was something private between father and daughter. He was humbled, honored even that Tig chose to tell him that story.
"Before she…" Tig stumbled, his mouth not able to say the word. "She made me promise that if Issa ever got engaged, it would be with her ring. I think… no I know she would have been thrilled to have you as a son-in-law. And there's no one else I'd trust my little girl's heart with."
At those words, Jax had shed a few tears. Both of relief and joy. There had always been a small part of him that worried Tig wouldn't approve. His reputation before Issa wasn't much better than Tig's before Marisa. It was the same part that wasn't sure he was good enough for her. But having this ring, being able to put it on her hand (hopefully) was all the validation he needed.
So with that in mind, he looks up at her, imagining Tig doing this same thing, with this very ring years ago. He wonders if Tig felt the same level of anxiousness, if his heart all but thumped right out of his chest. All that melts away when he gets lost in those beautiful, loving eyes.
"Isabelle Marisol Trager, will you do me the great honor of marrying me?"
Jax barely got the words out of his mouth before Issa shouts yes and tackles him to the ground. In the background he hears scattered applause and someone asking "who the fuck proposes in Ikea?" But all that matters is the woman in his arms, sobbing on his shoulder and clutching him close to her.
The woman he's going to spend the rest of his life loving.