A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks, many thanks to fresh-BLOOD-was-drawn-2night, LaurelLeafSinger and traceybuie for the rewiews!

So, I really like this one! Makes me laugh every time I read it to check for misspells or grammatical mistakes. I just hope you'll like it too! Oh, and again please pay attention to the time. It's important ;)

Enjoy, and please review!

Volterra, November 5th, 7.52 pm

Hi vampires! EdwardsMate87 here! It's my turn to take over this blog, since my dear mate is much too shy to share the good stuff. And at least he won't want to get revenge on me, unlike FashionPixie – I hope!

Anyway, many among you asked Edward about some pranks we pulled on the Volturi. First, to tell you the truth, most of the time we stay in our alloted wing of the castle, not mingling among the guard. It's easier this way to coexist with vampires so different from us. They call us 'the loony vegetarians', after all. But we sometimes sneak out of our wing to do some mischief, to pass the time.

So, our first good prank, so to speak, was to 'accidentally' let two wild boars escape our courtyard and stampede all over the castle, but mostly Athenodora's room – she was utterly terrified – and the throne room. The guards assigned to hunt for us learned their lesson the hard way that day: never less than one animal for each of us! ;)

Edward told you about Halloween, that was wonderful! Imagine Aro's horror at the sight of the pumpkin-plastered walls, and the smell! It was so funny watching the grumpy guards hosing the walls with their high pressure cleaners, and their disgusted faces! And of course, the throne room had burned to the ground. Aro and Caius had it redecorated the exact way it had been before. No improvement. FashionPixie was lamenting over that fact, and I have to agree with her. It was THE occasion to upgrade it, but nooooo... Caius was adamant, so now it's back to its dark and gloomy before.

Then there is the time we toilet-papered the newly redecorated throne room, along with the whole second floor, just two days ago. I have to explain that between the sex marathons, the hunting and the guards who already left, the castle is mostly empty these days, so it's easy for us to time our pranks.

So FashionPixie ordered us twenty pallets of toilet paper, and we went loose. By the time we were done, the whole second floor was stuffed with beautiful bands of pink paper, some of it decorated by your favourite mischief makers. We wrote nice words, drew little things, and had much, much fun. And the throne room looked much better, I can assure you. See the pictures below, and see for yourself.

Needless to say, when Aro discovered that his study was covered in pink – we had put toilet paper everywhere, including his books – he went even more madder than usual. He ripped our work away in a frenzy, and spent a whole hour running from top to bottom of the castle howling, trailing ribbons of toilet paper behind him. None of his guards helped him, they were too busy laughing their head off. Marcus smiled at us from the top of his tower, and Caius just sighed before locking himself up with Athenodora in his bedroom. We haven't seen them since. Sulpicia, after checking we hadn't touched her precious jewelry this time, shrugged and left for another hunt with her gang of old bats. We haven't seen her since either.

It's a nice one, I think! But it's a mild, very mild one. We plan much better pranks in the future! We have to make GrizzlyBear1915 proud, after all! ;)

Ciao vampires!

EdwardsMate87

From GrizzlyBear1915, 7.54 pm: Damn right, you're to make me proud! And I daresay you are! You TPed the entire second floor! GoldenDoc tells me that's an impressive surface. I'm so proud of you, my young Padawans!

From SparkyMate, 7.55 pm: I love those pictures! And you're right, EdwardsMate87, the throne room looks much better after having been TPed!

From BlondeVenus1915, 7.56 pm: I love the fact that nobody helped Aro getting rid of all this pink. Can't he tell he's utterly alone now?

From EdwardCullen, 7.57 pm: Unfortunately not, BlondeVenus1915. He's much too stubborn for that.

From TexanNomadsMate, 7.59 pm: Interesting, this choice of toilet paper to cover every surface of the second floor. Did you mean to send the Volturi a message? About the ephemeral coexistence possible between them and you, like the ephemeral existence of paper in water? Or maybe to make them see that you are ready to wipe away their attitude towards you like a mere speck on the skin? Or again maybe to tell them wordlessly that they're now stuck in an impossible situation, as if the ribbons of toilet paper were representing a tangled web, and you were the spiders ready to catch the Volturi flies?

From EdwardsMate87, 8.12 pm: Um, no, I don't think so. It was just a prank, TexanNomadsMate. With toilet paper, granted, but...

From TexanNomadsMate, 8.13 pm: But the deep significance of toilet paper is infinite, dear EdwardsMate87! Maybe you used it unconsciously to remind the Volturi about the pink colour's importance. It's the symbol of tenderness, happiness and romance. You very probably wanted to tell them that you Cullens were happy with your life, and saw that the Volturi were not. Using subtle messages to make your point is good, but not always understood, sadly.

From GrizzlyBear1915, 8.24 pm: This is too deep for me, TexanNomadsMate.

From FashionPixie, 8.25 pm: It's just that there was this huge discount for toilet paper on Amazon that I simply couldn't ignore...

From AlaskanWildfire, 8.26 pm: I have a headache. :(

From ConfederatesNeverDie, 8.27 pm: If you become a vegetarian, TexanNomadsMate, we'll go to college and get our PhDs in neuroscience and psychoanalysis. What do you think?

From TexanNomadsMate, 8.28 pm: I'd be delighted, ConfederatesNeverDie! We're on our way there!

From TexanNomad, 8.29 pm: Yeah, bears and lions and buffaloes. Yay me...

From TexanNomadsMate, 8.30 pm: But Freud, Jung, Adler, my love!

From BlondeVenus1915, 8.31 pm: Give me a car to repair any day. Better than this psychic mumbo jumbo.