Hi friends. I'm finally posting the fic I've been working on and am both super excited and terrified. This is my take on season five and onward, diving into Hailey's past and me obsessing over an idea that I couldn't stop thinking about so I decided to just write it. Title and summary are from the song Better by SYML and it has been on repeat while I've been writing this story. I highly recommend giving it a listen. The first chapter is in all italics as it is a flashback.
TW / violence, assault, attempted sexual assault
***this TW is for the end of this first chapter which will have a page break so you know to stop if you decide you don't want to continue reading
December 31st, 2013
If it were any other time or place she'd be slapping bracelets on almost every person she laid her eyes on that night.
Booze was flowing, the distinct smell of weed was floating through the air, and various sizes and colors of pills were being passed around like candy. She was sure half the girls she'd seen mingling throughout the party weren't of legal age to be doing any of the things she bore witness to, and the guys were being rowdy and handsy. It takes every ounce of discipline she has inside herself to not break their faces.
She keeps to herself, leaning against a wall in the entryway of a hallway. It's mostly to observe her surroundings at a safe distance, but also to keep an ear out for the drunk girl who was just pulled into a room down the hall by some guy who is probably twice the girl's age. She silently hopes for some huge break from the universe so they can wrap this up and just go home already.
It was New Year's Eve and not late by any normal party goer means, but it was after eleven and she was physically and emotionally drained. Tired of seeing the horrible things happening around her, of having to pretend it was all normal, and annoyed with not being able to do anything to stop it.
They'd been working this case for months now and it didn't feel like it would be ending any time soon. She just wanted it to be over.
She's caught off guard when someone appears next to her and an arm slides around her waist. She flinches at the contact and curses to herself for getting lost in her thoughts and becoming distracted.
"Jumpy much?" She hears against her ear, immediately relaxing at the sound of her partner's voice. She turns to face him and wraps an arm around his neck as she smiles up at him.
"Nah, just cautious," she says quietly enough so only he can hear. There's no one near them and the music is still thumping loudly around them, but she can't help being on edge.
She gives a gentle tug on the back of his neck and he steps towards her, leaving little space between them as he leans in closer to her. He rests his hand on her back just above her rear end and hooks a finger through a loop of her jeans.
Despite her nerves and the paranoia and the stress of the case, she still has him. He's been by her side through the entire operation and if it weren't for him, she's not too sure she would have lasted as long as she has since they've been undercover. She'd been under before, a case not too different from the one they were currently working, but with that assignment she had been completely on her own. It brings her a bit of comfort knowing she's not riding solo on this one.
"You been drinking much?" She asks him a few moments later when she notices a bottle in his other hand.
"Just one beer to keep up appearances. I've been holding the same bottle for damn near two hours. These people are too wasted and tweaked out of their minds to notice," he tells her. His eyes leave hers for a moment to glance around at the rest of the party happening around them.
"Just be careful Garrett," she whispers, tightening her hold around his neck. She rests her other hand on his waist and gives his side a quick squeeze.
He looks back at her and nods, before gesturing to the crowd around them. "You seen him yet?"
She shakes her head. "Scotty said he landed about an hour ago, back from St. Louis. It's getting late though. He might not show tonight and crash somewhere else, ya know?"
"He's too obsessed with you to not show up. He wouldn't miss an opportunity to flirt with you in front of me," he says to her.
She rolls her eyes at him. "He's not obsessed with me."
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that babe," he says to her before leaning down and placing a kiss to the side of her neck.
"You hear anything else?" He asks her when he looks back up at her.
"Something about a new player that he apparently pulled in. Haven't gotten a name yet, but if he shows and drinks enough, maybe he'll slip up and give us something we can use."
"Here's hoping," he mutters before he leans down again and presses his lips to hers.
"Garrett, Kelly! There you two are!"
The couple pull away from one another and look up as a tall, red headed man approaches them with a scruffy beard.
"What's up Scotty?" Her partner greets the man with a nod of his head and a friendly enough smile.
"Ronnie's here and asking for you," Scotty says.
"Both of us?" She asks with a curious stare.
"Yeah, he's in his office," the redhead tells them, pointing a thumb over his shoulder.
She glances back at her partner and pushes herself off the wall before reaching for his hand. He walks ahead of her, her hand clutched tight in his, as Scotty leads them through the living room and down another short hallway past a kitchen.
The three of them stop outside of a closed door and Scotty rattles his knuckles against it twice. There's a brief pause before a voice calls out to them and tells them to come on in, and then Scotty opens the door. They enter the room and see a large L-shaped desk protruding from one wall with a middle-aged man sitting in a chair behind it.
Ronald Booth. Big time meth dealer, born and raised in Chicago, but one could never know the way he makes his living by the looks of him. His tall stature with salt and pepper hair, light blue eyes and the way he smiles gives off the impression that he's a nice guy, but he's far from it. After all, that's why she, they, are here in the first place.
He greets them with a lopsided grin peeking out from beneath his mustache and short beard as he stands from his desk and meets them in the middle of the room. She can smell the booze on him already.
"If it isn't two of my favorite people!" He calls to them with a crooked smile still on his face.
"Thanks Scotty," he says in dismissal. The redhead nods once before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
"Ron! How are ya man?" Garrett asks then. He lets go of his girl's hand and takes a step forward to shake hands with the man that now stands in front of them.
"I'm good, real good," Ron says before his eyes land on her.
There's a moment where she has to remind herself of the role she's playing as she forces out a wide smile and looks up at the man. He towers over her short frame and she ignores the uncomfortable feeling she gets from the way his eyes look her up and down.
"Kelly," he says in such a gentle tone as he steps forward and reaches for her.
The smell of whiskey and menthol cigarettes hits her nostrils as Ron wraps his arms around her shoulders and squeezes her against him. She's not sure how many drinks deep he is, but she guesses quite a few by the way he shuffles on his feet, trying to balance himself against her. She has to force herself not to flinch in his arms and instead put her own around his waist to hug him back in an attempt to keep up appearances.
"Hi Ronnie! Good trip?" She asks before pulling away from him and smiling up at him again.
"Great trip! Couldn't have gone any better," he tells her, his words nearly slurring together.
She glances over at Garrett and the two share a knowing look as Ron steps away from her.
He makes his way to a small bar cart in the corner of the room and reaches for a bottle of amber liquid. He turns back and nods at the pair. "Drink?"
"Sure, thanks," Garrett replies while she shakes her head.
"I'm driving," she says before walking over to Ron's desk and sitting on the edge of it.
She watches as he pours whiskey into two glasses and hands one to Garrett. She knows they have a cover to keep and it would have been too suspicious if they'd both turned down a drink. It was a party after all.
"Glad to hear it went well. Who's this new deal with anyway?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest and looking over at Ron.
He takes a quick pull from his glass and waves off her question. "Old friend of mine. You haven't met."
She just nods. The man is arrogant and slimy, but he's not stupid. She knows she'll get it out of him eventually.
"So how's the party? My nephew behaving himself?" He asks them.
She tilts her head at him. "Depends on what your definition of behaving is."
Ron shakes his head before tipping his glass back and downing the rest of his drink. "Can you keep an eye on him for me?"
"Sure," she says, standing upright.
Ron throws a handout, waving her off again, and shakes his head. "Let Garrett go. I wanna talk to you for a minute."
Her partner glances between her and Ron, who is busy refilling his glass again, and Garrett raises an eyebrow at her.
"I'll find you in a few," she tells him with a small smile, a way to silently assure him she'll be alright.
Garrett nods at her and then looks over at Ron.
"I'll see ya man. Happy New Year!"
Ron nods back and tips his already half empty glass in reply to Garrett as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. She takes a seat back on the edge of Ron's desk as he goes for the bottle of whiskey again.
"You should take it easy or you're gonna be kicking yourself in the morning," she says.
He just scoffs at her and fills his glass.
"So you're really gonna keep me in the dark about this old friend of yours?" She asks him. She notices the way he leans against the wall
now for some sort of support and hopes the booze will make him let his guard down.
"Why ya wanna know so bad?"
She shrugs her shoulders. "When it comes to my money I like to know who I'm working with."
He nods slowly at her before he takes another pull from his glass, and then leans his head back against the wall. "That's fair, but I can't tell you Kelly. Not yet."
"You can't tell me? Come on Ronnie. It's me," she laughs, hoping it'll coax him into spilling, but he shakes his head.
"How about we talk about something else?"
"Like what? Our New Year's resolutions?" She jokes.
"About us."
He's looking at her again the same way he did when her and Garrett first entered the room and a chill goes up her back, making the rest of her body tingle for a moment with nervous energy.
"Us?" She presses with a raise of an eyebrow as she crosses her arms in front of her.
"Us," he says again. He pushes himself off the wall and downs the remaining liquid in his glass before he drops it to the cart with a loud clank.
-TW-
She follows him with her eyes as he walks towards her, nearly swaying on his feet, but the look in his eyes tells her he knows exactly what he's doing. It immediately puts her on the defense. He's standing in front of her now and the stench of whiskey makes her stomach twist and she choked back the need to gag. He takes another step towards her and reaches for her, but she places a hand on his chest and firmly holds him an arm's length away.
"I'm with Garrett," she reminds him, as if he's suddenly forgotten. She knows he hasn't.
"I sent him away. He doesn't have to know," he slurs and pushes her hand away, attempting to step into her space again.
She shakes her head at him, places her hand on his chest again, and pushes him back making him stumble on his feet in a half drunken stupor.
"This isn't gonna happen. I'm with Garrett," she says again.
She stands from the desk and makes her way to the door, reaching for the handle, and then his hands are on her again. He pulls her back towards him with a grip so tight on her wrist she hears a pop and she winces at the sudden sensation running up her forearm. She turns, ready to fend him off with her good arm and her training from the academy and her days on the job, but he catches her off guard with a slap to the face. She stumbles back, stunned for a single second, but then his hands are on her again, pulling at her and bringing her to his desk. She pushes him back again and tries to kick him in the groin, but he somehow evades her and lets out a maniacal laugh.
"I like this side of you Kelly," he snickers at her and every nerve ending in her is on fire and telling her to scream and run.
She does just that, screaming out as loud as she can hoping someone will hear her, but he wraps a hand around her throat and squeezes. She lifts up her good arm and runs her nails down the side of his face, hard and fast so that it draws blood from his cheek. It gets him off of her long enough that she can run for the door again, but he's quick to respond now and she knows she's pissed him off.
His hands are on her again, completely unhinged in a frenzied state of anger, and then he's punching her over and over as she tries to fight him off. She's struggling against him as her head falls limp to the side after he throws another blow to her face.
Her body is screaming at her to let go and sleep, but she can't give in. Not yet. She needs to keep fighting. She blinks her eyes open despite the blinding pain radiating through her, and then starts to fade in and out as her body starts to shut down on its own. She makes an attempt to lift her head, but it feels too heavy and it hurts too much so she lets it drop back down, groaning at the reverberation of pain that shoots across her forehead as she does so.
There's a sudden crash and she's able to make out the sound of splintering wood and familiar curse words, and then she doesn't feel his hands on her anymore. Her breathing grows shallow and her vision blurs out so much so that she can barely see at all now. The last thing she thinks she sees is Garrett's face floating above her before her eyes finally close.