Everyone, to some degree, has a routine, things they do daily. Some form of structure to alleviate their stress, not be late to appointments, and get through the day. Akiko stuck to her morning routine faithfully. If one thing threw off her routine, it'd only increased her anxiety. Furthermore caused her emotions to start spinning out of control.
The day started like any other. She slept peacefully while experiencing her typical incredibly vivid dream, which she definitely would remember when she woke up. Most people forget their dreams, but not her. She remembers them with great detail.
Today's dream had been her dreaming going to the park across the street, only to find the shelter missing, which was a more enjoyable dream than the nightmares she'd had the week before.
As usual, her cat, Zuka, decided to wake her by clawing at her bare feet. She took a deep breath and proceeded to the kitchen to open a wet food can to feed her. She loved her kitty very much. However, her getting underfoot each morning wasn't pleasant. Thankful that was finished, she used the bathroom before checking her messages online.
The first stop was her email account. She'd got a few messages from her friends, some PMs from some of her friends on fanfic. Also, a few kudos from A03. After that, she deleted the political junk mail.
Her next stop online was to check her Deviantart account. She'd a few clubs she managed. First notifications, then note if any. Afterward, she went to her user page to submit old drawings from her galleries to her club. She didn't feel at the moment posting anything new. After that, she went to the two clubs she managed to approve of submissions. Afterward, she went to check those she watched. However, to be perfectly honest?
Given she belonged to so many clubs on DA, not to mention the sheer amount of submission with all the clubs? So she only clicked them if something on the front page caught her attention. Otherwise, she deleted it. Of course, given there was so much porn and other inappropriate artwork, she'd quite a lot more reason to delete.
Like so many others, she hated the fact DA forced Eclipse on everyone. Why do people never listen to what the users want? Or keep trying to fix things that aren't broke? Finally, her last two stops were checking the stats on A03 before going over her over 50 playlists on YouTube to see if anything was missing.
Subsequently, she took her shower and struggled to get dressed. Her cat never made this part easy. It didn't help she felt rushed every morning, considering she'd limited time. So quickly doing the grooming, taking her meds, and scarfing something down for breakfast. After that, she packed up her backpack, doubling checking that everything was there. Used the bathroom one more time. Before she grabbed her water and new bike so she'd go to the park across the street.
In an attempt to build up endurance, she'd tended to go around the block to reach the park. Except if she felt very behind, then she coasted down. Reaching the shelter, she caught her breath. Then unloaded things from her backpack. In the spring and summer, she'd spray herself with bug spray to avoid mosquitoes.
After that, was it a choice between drawing, reading, journaling, or bringing her portable DVD player with her? Watching episodes from her favorite shows. She came here in the morning before the heat of the day, also for some peace. Typically she witnesses the same dog walkers or runners going around the block.
Doing her best to ignore them and focus on her me time. Sometimes if she sincerely needed, she'd call the crisis line to talk to them. Her average time was at the park was roughly 6:30 to 8:00. However, as the seasons changed? It became more 7:00 to 8:00. She made certain to get at least an hour at the park. She left the park around that time for two reasons.
One to use the bathroom as the park didn't have any. Plus, two do get started on the rest of her routine. Right now, she happened to be journaling. Her thoughts were random. Not really following any particular train of thought.
"Well, thankfully, its not raining yet. However, I don't like how dark the clouds are right now. What can I do? What do people want from me?
Kiss, kill, kiss, kill. I don't even know why I say such random things at all times. I'm not going to kill anyone. So why does it keep coming out of my mouth? Ugh! Kill the bad memories! Why do all the random bad memories surface now? Ugh!
I hope the stories I want to update soon. God! It's so hard to wait! Ugh! Zuko! Katara! Where are you when I need you? God! Why is no one there when I need them?
God, I wish again I had a copy to take care of the house when I'm out. Things be a lot less stressful if someone else could take care of the apartment. Let's see what do I have to do? Well, all those one-shots need to be done. How many times am I going to write the same lists?
Damn the stupid squirrels. Why do they make so much noise? Seriously! At least it was a better night's sleep. I do not wish to dream about being naked again in public. Or approving of pedophile relationships in fanfics!
God! Why do so many people have shipping fever? I mean seriously pairing Sofia and Cedric? He's got to be in his forties, and she's 8, for crying out loud. Also, why do they keep shipping people together like Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle? They're just good friends. But everyone has to have a shipping fever. Ship everyone together, even if it is amoral or doesn't make sense! God!
Why do I have to deal with such stress? And why does no one ever check up on me? I can't keep doing all the work and get nothing for it! Ugh!
Oh great! There that bitchy neighbor walking her dog! Ugh! Again why did she have to get so angry with me for doing my laundry? I had every right to do my laundry. I didn't deserve to be yelled at or her snapping my picture.
So what if I was in my pajamas? I was covered! And the rule is not to go down to the lobby in your sleepwear! There is nothing wrong with going to the laundry room in them!
Ugh! Well, I should get going inside. I need to use the bathroom and want to get inside before the rain."
Shutting her journal, she quickly packed up her backpack, putting her keys in her jean jacket's pocket, then coasted back to the building. Walking up the back, she quickly used her tab to get in.
Then it was waiting for the elevator to take her back to her apartment on the second floor. Finally, she got inside and her bike put away. Now she could get on with the rest of her day!
An exercise in empowerment
It's empowering to know our own strengths and to understand the impacts around us.
But it can be difficult for us to see what is positive and valuable about ourselves.
Those who love us are often able to recognize these traits much more clearly than we do.
Send a message to five of your closest friends or family members. Ask them to list five of your most positive traits.
When you read their responses, what do you feel? Do you believe them? Why or why not? How does it feel to know that people think about you this way?
Do not judge their responses or yours. Just pay close attention to how you feel.