Hi friends! Thank you as always for all the love and support you continue to show this story. It makes me so happy to know you're loving this fic as much I'm loving writing it. Here is the next chapter as promised! It's a lengthy one because apparently I don't know how to not write long chapters, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this one and I will see ya next week for chapter 18!
The first thought that goes through Hailey's mind when she wakes the next day is that it's not morning. The way the sunlight streams into her bedroom through the half drawn curtains tells her it's probably sometime in the afternoon and she has actually managed to sleep a while. She blinks her eyes open fully and her body is quick to remind her of the injuries it received the night before as her muscles ache when she barely stretches her limbs beneath the covers.
"Ugh," she drawls out through a groan of discomfort, lifting a hand to her head that still aches and throbs in too many places.
Hailey stretches an arm out beside her, her hand searching for what isn't there, and then she turns her head to find that she's alone in bed.
She turns her head to the other side, hoping to find her phone on the nightstand and she does, but her eyes also land on a pill bottle with a post-it attached to it and a bottle of water beside it. She reaches for the piece of paper, recognizing the messy handwriting of her partner as she reads it over.
Take a couple Advil and drink some water. Stay in bed as long as you need and rest. I've got Ave. Text me if you need me.
Hailey smiles softly at his words and drops the post-it to the top of the nightstand. She pushes herself up in bed, hissing through a sharp ache that shoots through her and takes a few deep breaths as she sits up.
She shuffles backwards to lean into the pillows behind her and then reaches for the items on the nightstand. She takes two Advil and swallows them down with a big gulp of water, then takes another few swigs as she leans her head back against the headboard.
She keeps the bottle of water in her lap, but sets the pill bottle back on the nightstand and grabs her phone. It's after three in the afternoon and a wave of guilt comes over her as she realizes she's slept almost the entire day away, and then she remembers Vanessa was supposed to come over.
She unlocks her phone and swipes her way into her messages to shoot off a text to Jay.
So you're a nurse now too?
He responds a few moments later.
Good afternoon to you too.
Ha ha ha. Ave ok?
She's fine, we're watching a movie. Do you need me?
Only if she'll be okay by herself for a few minutes.
Be right there.
Hailey drops her phone down beside her and rests her head against the headboard once more, and then comes a light knock on the door another few moments later.
"Come in," she calls out groggily.
The door swings open and Jay pops his head in, smiling over at her as he enters the bedroom.
"Hey, you," he says softly as he walks toward the bed.
"Hi," Hailey says back, the corner of her mouth quirking into a slight smile.
"Can I sit?" Jay asks, gesturing to the bed.
Hailey nods and he sits down beside her at the edge, staring over at her for a moment with a sweet, but concerned look on his face.
"How are you feeling?" He asks her.
"My head still hurts a lot," she tells him, breathing out a heavy sigh. "The rest of my body is just achy all over. Hopefully the Advil kicks in soon."
He nods slowly, his brows raising in a hint of surprise when Hailey leans forward and reaches for one of his hands. She holds onto him tightly, her thumb swiping over the top of his hand.
"How bad is it?" She asks.
"Could be worse," he says quietly with a tilt of his head. He flips their hands between them, brushing his thumb over her skin slowly as he stares back at her. "It'll all heal up in no time."
She nods slowly, her breath quickening when Jay releases her hand and drags a finger to the bruised skin of her wrist. She tenses under his touch and he pulls his hand away, a look of guilt flashing through his eyes.
"I'm sorry. I – I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"No," she shakes her head, reaching for his hand again. "It's okay. Actually feels kinda nice."
He drops his eyes to their once again joined hands and slides his hand up over hers, his thumb brushing over her inner wrist so slowly and gently that it makes her heart ache at the sweetness of it.
He continues his ministrations over her wrist for another moment before he reaches for her other hand to do the same, moving the pad of his thumb across her skin back and forth in slow circular movements.
"You're gonna put me to sleep," she tells him quietly a minute later. A tiny smile stretches out across her lips and she keeps her eyes on him as he continues drawing the same invisible and nonsensical patterns over her skin.
He lifts his eyes to meet hers, smiling over at her, and then he holds her hand with a gentle grasp before he raises it to his lips to press a soft kiss to her inner wrist. He sets her hand down and picks up the other, kissing that wrist just the same before setting it down between them.
"I don't deserve you," she finds herself mumbling as he goes back to dragging his thumb across her skin.
He scrunches his eyebrows, shaking his head as he looks up at her. "Don't say that. That's not even remotely true."
Hailey sighs, shrugging her shoulders at him with a tight lipped smile on her face.
"You're always so – so…" she trails off, shrugging again and losing her words.
"So what?" He asks, tilting his head.
"Sweet," she says simply. "And careful and – and perfect, and I can't help wondering when the other shoe is gonna drop. That I can't possibly be this lucky to have someone like you in my life."
He grins at her, but shakes his head again. "I'm hardly perfect. As for the rest of it, I'm pretty sure I'm just as lucky."
The look in his eyes and the way the words roll off his tongue in soft syllables tells her he means it, just like he always does.
Hailey gives him a slow nod before she pulls her hand from his and throws the blankets from her. She pushes herself forward in the bed, ignoring the aches that rip through her as she moves toward Jay, his curious eyes on her the entire time as she sits directly in front of him and leans forward to wrap her arms around his neck.
She holds on tightly, unable to stop the tears from pooling in her eyes and when she sniffles against the side of his head his arms come up around her waist. He holds her close against him as he turns his head and buries his face into her neck, and she tightens her arms around him that much more.
They stay like that for a few minutes, wrapped up together as Hailey tries to stop her tears that continue coming and going.
"You're okay. You're safe," Jay whispers into her ear.
She nods against him, sniffling again and breathing heavily as her heart races inside her chest.
When she loosens her grip on him and pulls away from him another moment later, Jay tilts his head with a sad smile as he looks at her. He removes his arms from around her and raises his hands to her face slowly, brushing his thumbs under her eyes to wipe away at her tears that still fall.
"You're okay," he says again, dropping a hand back to her waist, but moving the other to the side of her face.
He moves his thumb over her cheek softly, caressing the blemished and swollen skin slowly as he keeps his eyes on hers. She leans into his hand, her eyes closing at the feel of him touching her so sweetly, so distinctively different to the way she was treated the night before.
When she blinks her eyes open a few moments later he's still staring at her with the same love and affection and concern that makes her heart ache all over again and has her breathing quickly.
"I – I don't…" Hailey sighs, swallowing hard as she looks at him.
"What?"
"I want, um, I don't know how to say it," she tells him, breathing out heavily though a shaky, nervous laugh.
"You know you can tell me anything," he says with another slow brush of his thumb against her cheek.
She shakes her head, as if confused, but then she leans in before he even realizes what she's doing and presses her lips to his. There's no romance or passion to it, just a quick peck of her lips against his, and when she pulls back she's not all that surprised to find him staring back at her with almost wide eyes and a single raised eyebrow.
"You wanted to kiss me? That's what you were trying to say?"
She nods slowly. "It's not how I wish I could kiss you. Things are – things aren't how they used to be and it's not what I want for us, but it's something. Something normal, ya know?"
The corners of his mouth tip upward and he nods back at her, but just as quick as his smile comes, it's gone a second later.
"I know what you mean, but I also don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. That we have to rush normalcy or anything else," Jay tells her as another small smile ghosts over his lips and he brushes his thumb over her cheek once more as he reminds her, "I'm not going anywhere."
Hailey breathes out a shaky sigh then nods slowly again before she leans back into him, resting her head against his chest and snaking her arms around his waist. His hand that was once against her face moves to the back of her head, his fingers weaving through her hair and he lifts his other arm around her shoulder.
She clutches the fabric of his shirt in her fists behind his back and he tightens his hold on her just slightly, leaning his head down against hers.
"Pretty sure I've kept you up here a lot longer than a few mutes," Hailey says against his chest another moment later.
She lifts her head and Jay drops his arms from her as she pulls hers from around his waist to look him in the eyes.
"How has Avery been today?"
"She seems alright. Still stuck on those damn penguins though," Jay grins at her. "We've kinda had a penguin movie marathon going on today. She's fascinated by 'em."
It gets a smile out of her, a full grin that stretches out over her face and makes the dimple in her cheek cave in.
"Thanks for watching her," Hailey tells him.
"You don't need to thank me," he tells her with a shake of his head as he smiles at her still. "I love spending time with that kid. She's something else."
Her grin widens as she gives another slow nod, and then she tilts her head at him as she asks, "Did Vanessa stop by?"
"Not yet. I texted her earlier to let her know you were still sleeping. She said her and Kev would still stop by and bring some dinner."
"Okay," she says, then gestures to the bathroom on the other side of the room. "I think I'm gonna take another shower. I'll come downstairs after."
"Alright," he nods. "I'll go back down with Ave. Text me when you're ready and I'll help you down the stairs, okay?"
"Okay," she says again. "Thank y – "
He cocks his head to the side again, a playful smirk on his face and his eyebrows raised.
"Never mind," she mumbles, her grin turning sheepish.
He chuckles softly before he leans in to press his lips to her forehead quickly, and then he stands from the bed.
Hailey stares after him as he leaves the bedroom, sighing quietly to herself when he closes the door behind him. She pulls herself up from the bed, rolling her head from side to side slowly and winching through the aches as she moves toward the bathroom.
Jay finds Avery right where he left her, cuddled into the corner of the couch with her space teddy in her lap and her eyes glued to the animated movie playing on the television.
She turns her head when he enters the living room, smiling at him as he walks toward her and calls over to him, "Hi daddy!"
Jay smiles softly at the little girl even though his heart sinks in his chest when the word slips from her mouth. It's not the first time she's said it that day and he can't help falling into a slight state of panic as he thinks of Hailey upstairs. The last thing he wants is to cause a rift between them or for her to push him away again.
He sighs quietly as he sits beside Avery on the couch and reaches for the remote on the coffee table to pause the movie, then turns to face the little girl.
"We should probably talk about that, bug."
"Talk about what?" She asks, looking up at him with bright blue eyes.
"You know I love you, right?"
"Yeah," Avery nods with a happy grin on her face.
"I love you so much, but – but I think for now…maybe you should keep calling me Jay, okay?
The grin fades from the little girl's face within a second, her little eyebrows scrunching together as she stares at him and quietly, "Why?"
"Because I don't wanna upset mama," Jay says as he reaches for one of the little girl's hands and holds it between both of his.
Avery shakes her head at him. "I don't understand."
"I know," Jay nods. "I know it's really confusing, but mama is – you remember she got hurt, right?"
Avery nods, looking at him with tears welling up in her eyes, and then she says softly, "The bad guy gave her mean marks."
"That's right," Jay nods again, squeezing her hand between his. "And mama might seem different for a little bit because of that. I just don't wanna make her sad, so you need to call me Jay for right now, okay?"
"But why?" Avery asks again. "You are my daddy! Mama said so!"
"What do you mean mama said so?"
"When the bad guy came and mama took me in the bathroom and told me to call you. She said to tell you she loves you!"
"I know she told you to call me on the phone, bug, but that doesn't mean – "
"You don't wanna be my daddy?" Avery asks him, her tears rolling down her cheeks.
"That's not it baby. That's not it at all," he tells her, dropping her hand and pulling the little girl into his lap.
"But she said daddy!" Avery cries.
"I think you might be confused kiddo," Jay says, lifting a hand to her face to wipe away the tears that fall. "What happened at that house was scary and I understand why you think – "
"No, I'm not! Mama said so! She said you're my daddy!
"Avery – "
The little girl shakes her head quickly, her voice raising when she says, "I'm not lying! Ask mama!"
Jay sighs again, his shoulders dropping and his chest aching as he stares down at the little girl in his lap. All she wants is for him to be her father and as much as he wants that too, he knows he has to talk to Hailey first, they need to have that conversation.
He smiles at the little girl, reaching his hands to her face to wipe away her tears again.
"I'll talk to mama, okay?" He tells her.
Avery nods, stray tears still falling as she leans against him, clinging to him now, and he wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly.
"I want you to be my daddy," the little girl whispers.
"I know baby. I'll talk to mama," Jay says again before he drops a kiss to the top of her head, then says, "It'll be okay."
She nods against him and as she pulls away to look at him she says, "I don't want you to leave me."
He shakes his head, smiling down at her. "I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere, bug. I promise."
The little girl nods again as voices filter into the living room from the kitchen and the sound of a door closing comes from the front of the house.
"Hello, hello! Anyone home?"
"Auntie!" Avery gasps, staring up at him with a big smile of surprise now despite the residual tears in her eyes.
Jay nods, grinning back at her and watches her scurry off his lap and jump to the floor, her teddy under her arm as she runs toward the kitchen. He chuckles as he hears Avery cry out excitedly again and stands from the couch to follow after the little girl.
When he enters the kitchen he finds her already in Vanessa's arms, her little arms around her aunt's neck and the biggest grin on her face as the two of them appear to be in their own little world together.
He spots Kevin coming around the corner from the front door with a few bags in his hands and nods over to him.
"Need some help, man?"
"Yeah, thanks," Kevin says as he passes a bag to him.
"Halstead," Vanessa greets him then, tipping her head to him with a smile.
"Rojas," he says back with a smirk before he looks over at Kevin. "What's with the bags?"
"Dinner bro. We got all the good stuff from Gene and Georgetti's. Figured it was the first time the girls were back together so we'd splurge a little bit."
"Ah, I see," Jay laughs, peeking into one of the bags.
"Where's Hailey?" Vanessa asks as she sets Avery down on one of the stools at the island.
"Upstairs taking a shower. She might be done by now if you wanna head up," Jay tells her.
She nods back with a smile then turns to Avery. "I'll be right back kiddo. I'm gonna go talk to mama for a bit, okay? Then we'll eat some dinner."
"Okay auntie," Avery grins back at her.
Vanessa tosses her a wink then heads for the stairs, placing a hand on Kevin's arm as she passes him and disappears around the corner. Jay raises an eyebrow at his friend, tilting his head to the side with a smirk plastered on his face.
"Bro, I don't even wanna hear it from you," Kevin says with a smile.
Jay laughs, shaking his head. "So you and Adam can tease me about my love life, but I can't tease you about yours? Hardly seems fair."
Kevin shakes his head, but there's still a smile on his face as he starts pulling open the takeout bags and placing containers of food on the counter.
Jay walks around the island and leans down next to Avery, nodding his head toward the living room. "You want a coloring book, bug? Mama and Auntie shouldn't be long, but it'll give you something to do until we eat."
"Yes please," the little girl nods and Jay heads for the living room.
He returns just moments later with a book and box of crayons, and sets them down in front of Avery.
"Thank you," she grins, setting her teddy bear down on the counter close by and flipping to a page in her book.
"You're welcome," Jay tells her, dropping a kiss to the top of her head before rounding the island to help Kevin.
"How are they doing?" Kevin asks quietly.
Jay shrugs. "Ave seems to be okay, Hailey is…she's dealing I guess."
"Anything we can do?"
"We?" Jay smirks.
"Hush it," Kevin smiles, shaking his head again. "I'm serious bro. Y'all need anything?"
"Nah, I think she just needs time. Thanks though," Jay tells him. "Voight put her on furlough for a couple weeks, me too to make sure she's taking care of herself. Don't think things will be quite back to normal that soon, but at least it's some time away from the job, ya know?"
Kevin nods, then juts his chin toward his friend. "Any plans for those two weeks?"
"What do you mean?" Jay asks, quirking an eyebrow.
"I mean, two weeks isn't a long time, but it's a long enough time to get trapped in your own head. Especially with what the two of them went through in that house last night, ya know what I'm saying?"
"Yeah, yeah I guess you're right," Jay nods slowly, a curious look coming over his face. "Any ideas?"
His friend shrugs. "I dunno man. Go somewhere. Do something. Have some fun. Keep 'em distracted, ya know?"
"Yeah, thanks man," Jay says.
Kevin smiles at him, clapping a hand over his shoulder. "Let's get this food ready, yeah?"
Jay nods again and they continue placing the containers on the counter, the gears already starting to turn in his head as he thinks over what his friend has suggested to him.
There's a light knock on her bedroom door as Hailey comes out of the bathroom and she smiles instantly as she realizes it's too light to be Jay's knuckles.
"Come in," she calls out.
The door opens a second later and she sees the face of her roommate and one of her best friends peeking into the room.
"Hey stranger," Vanessa says softly with a big grin on her face.
"Vanessa," Hailey breathes out, tears quickly pooling in her eyes.
She drops her hairbrush to the top of the dresser and bee lines toward her friend, wrapping her arms around Vanessa's shoulders and squeezing her tight against her chest.
"Hi Hails," Vanessa whispers as she snakes her arms around the blonde's waist, her eyes filling with tears as she hugs her friend.
"I missed you," Hailey tells her, squeezing her again.
"Missed you too. Let me see you."
Vanessa pulls away to take a closer look at her friend and gasps at the sight of the bruises on her face.
"Oh babe," she whispers.
She drops her arms from around Hailey and reaches for one of her hands, then leads her over to the bed and they sit.
"Are you okay?" Vanessa asks.
Hailey nods, forcing a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a few bruises and a busted lip. It's no big deal."
"I'm not an idiot Hailey," her friend says, titling her head at the blonde. "How are you doing?"
"Really, I'm fine. Just sore and still got a bit of a headache. I'll be good as new in a few days."
"Hailey," Vanessa says with a stern tone. "Tell me what happened."
"I don't wanna talk about it," Hailey shakes her head. "I just, I – I can't talk about it yet."
"Okay," Vanessa nods, squeezing her friend's hand tightly. "Halstead better be taking care of you though or I'll kick his ass."
Hailey laughs through the tears that fall from her eyes, nodding her head slowly. "He is. He's – he's been wonderful."
"Good. And you're taking some time from work right? They're not making you go back like, tomorrow? Are they?"
"No," Hailey shakes her head again. "My Sergeant put me on leave for two weeks."
"That's good. Gives you some time to rest. Are you gonna call Dr. Block?"
Hailey sighs, shrugging her shoulders. "It all just happened yesterday Vanessa. Can you just – not, right now? Please?"
"I'm sorry," she breathes out, shaking her head. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just – I know what happened last time and what it did to you. I – I don't want that happening again."
"I'm fine," Hailey tells her. "Really, I – I don't think I've even processed all of it yet, but I promise if things get bad again, I'll make an appointment, okay? Just – right now, I – I need to take my mind off of it. I need to focus on Avery."
"I understand," Vanessa says with a quick nod. "But I also know you. You put everyone else before yourself and you never make time for you. And no offense, Hailey, but making an appointment and actually going to said appointment are two different things."
"Vanessa, please?" Hailey pleads with her, sighing heavily as she looks at her friend.
"Alright. I'll drop it for now."
"Thank you."
Vanessa nods again, squeezing her hand once more and then smirks at the blonde. "You wanna talk about what Kev and I walked in on in your kitchen a week or so ago then?"
"Ugh," Hailey groans, pulling her hand away and wiping under her eyes. "You're ridiculous."
"You love me," the young woman shrugs.
Hailey lets out another breathy laugh, shaking her head. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever."
"I love you too," Vanessa smiles. "In fact, I love you so much that Kev and I went halfsies and got us all dinner from Gene and Georgetti's. You hungry?"
Hailey groans again, nodding. "I'm starving."
"Come on then," her friend says, standing from the bed and stretching her hand out.
Hailey grabs onto it and they head out of the bedroom, and down the hall.
"You okay to go down the stairs or should I get lover boy?"
Hailey rolls her eyes despite the ache in her head. "Just hold on to me and go slow."
"I got you," Vanessa says, wrapping an arm around her friend's waist.
Hailey throws an arm over Vanessa's shoulders and holds onto the railing with her other hand, and then the pair moves down the stairs one step at a time. They make it to the bottom within a few minutes, Hailey breathing deeply once her feet hit the floor.
"You good?" Vanessa asks as she removes her arm from the blonde.
Hailey nods, taking another few deep breaths and they head into the kitchen.
"Hey Upton," Kevin greets her with a smile when they round the corner. He looks at her as he usually does, as if nothing is different and she's grateful for the bout of normalcy he offers.
"Hi Kev," Hailey smiles back. "Heard you got us dinner."
"We both got you dinner," Vanessa butts in, walking past them to the end of the island.
Kevin rolls his eyes while Hailey shakes her head in amusement and they follow after the young woman.
Hailey heads for the other side of the island, smiling in appreciation as Jay pulls out a stool for her next to Avery and she takes a seat beside her daughter.
"Hi baby."
"Hi mama," Avery says, turning her head to look at her mother and her little face dropping when she does. She sets the crayon in her hand down on the counter and reaches toward Hailey's face. "Are you okay?"
Hailey nods, smiling softly at her daughter and holding onto her hand. "It just hurts a little. I'm okay, I promise."
"Okay," the little girl mumbles.
Hailey glances down, noticing her necklace still around Avery's neck and smiles a little wider. "You keeping that safe for me?"
Avery follows her mother's eyes then looks back up at her, and nods. "You want it back?"
"Can you hold onto it a little while longer for me?" Hailey asks her and when the little girl nods she leans in and kisses her on the forehead. She pulls back and peeks over Avery's shoulder, nodding down to the coloring book in front of her. "Whatcha coloring baby?"
"A penguin," Avery says as she reaches for her crayon again and goes back to her picture.
Hailey snickers, shaking her head then meets Jay's eyes across the counter. He shrugs at her with a grin of his own then places a plate down in front of her and then Avery.
"Thank you," Hailey tells him.
He throws her a wink and turns back around to get a plate for himself, as Kevin sets some drinks down for everyone. Hailey catches Vanessa's stare, a little smirk splayed across her friend's face, but she just shakes her head again and turns her attention back to the food in front of her.
They dig into their meal, exchanging small talk as they eat and after they finish, Jay and Vanessa clean up for Hailey as her, Kevin and Avery move into the living room. Jay puts the leftovers in the fridge while Vanessa dumps the trash and before they go to join the others in the living room, she calls over to him quietly, gesturing to the island with her hand.
Vanessa leans against the counter, Jay standing next to her with a raised eyebrow and she tilts her head toward the living room.
"Hailey told me she's fine, but how is she really doing?"
Jay sighs, shrugging his shoulders. "As good as she can be. I mean, it all just happened yesterday and she's sort of just dealing right now, I guess. I don't think any of it has really hit her yet."
Vanessa nods, breathing out a heavy sigh as she raises a hand and runs it through her hair. "I know she told you about what happened last time and now it's happened again, and I – I need to make sure you know what you're up against here, Jay."
"She did tell me and I know exactly what I'm up against. What she is up against," he says quietly. "I'm no stranger to trauma. I know what's coming."
She nods again. "So you're sticking around then?"
"I'm not going anywhere Vanessa. I'm not gonna just dip if things get hard. Not with Hailey or Avery. They mean too much to me," he says, glancing in the direction of the living room before he sets his eyes back on the young woman in front of him. "They mean everything to me."
"Okay," she breathes out, smiling softly at him and giving another tilt of her head. "Come on."
They head into the living room and find Hailey and Avery on one end of a couch and Kevin alone on the loveseat. Vanessa flops down next to Kevin and Jay moves toward Hailey, sitting down on the other side of Avery so the little girl is between them.
Vanessa and Kevin stay for a while, telling Hailey a few stories of what she had missed while her and Avery were away, of the few nights out at Molly's and how Jay seemed miserable while they were gone.
"I was not miserable," Jay argues.
"Bro, you looked like a sad puppy," Kevin teases.
"A sad puppy that was kicked repeatedly," Vanessa chimes in.
Hailey smiles, shaking her head in amusement and glances over at Jay. She catches his eyes before he looks away from her, recognizing the sweetness in them and the soft smile on his face.
"You guys are relentless. I see that hasn't changed while I was gone," she says, looking back between her friends.
"Yeah, nope. Not for a second," Kevin grins while Vanessa shrugs with a smirk on her face.
"I swear you gang up on me on purpose. Vanessa, I understand, but I thought you and I were friends, Kev," Jay says, feigning disappointment as he stares at the man across from him.
"It's all in good fun bro," Kevin tells him.
Jay rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure."
The four adults share a laugh and then Hailey glances down between her and Jay to find Avery half asleep.
"I should probably get her to bed," she says, gesturing a hand to the little girl.
Vanessa nods, pulling her phone from a back pocket. "Jeeze, it's almost nine already."
"Time flies when you're having fun," Kevin smiles.
"Or teasing people which is what you've both been doing the entire time you've been here," Jay scoffs with a playful smirk.
"All in good fun," Kevin says again as he and Vanessa stand from the loveseat.
"You're not staying?" Hailey asks, looking at her friend as she stands and walks toward her.
"Nah," Vanessa shakes her head. "You just got back and I don't wanna crowd you right now."
A look of sadness comes over Hailey's face, but she nods slowly. "Okay."
"Besides," Vanessa says, glancing over at Jay for a quick moment before she looks back at Hailey with a smile. "You're in good hands."
Hailey nods again, but smiles at her friend before she pulls her in for a tight hug. They all say their goodbyes and then Vanessa walks over to the other couch and squats down in front of Avery. She kisses the little girl on the top of the head, promising her she'll see her soon and that she loves her.
"Love you too Auntie," Avery mumbles back sleepily.
Kevin waves goodbye to the little girl, and then he and Vanessa head out afterward.
"I'll bring her up and come back to help you, okay?" Jay says to Hailey as he stands from the couch.
"Okay," she breathes out. "I'm gonna turn the lights off and lock up down here."
Jay nods with a smile and then he leans down to pick up Avery.
"C'mon bug, let's get you to bed," he says as he secures the little girl in his arms.
Avery mumbles nearly incoherently, nodding her head against Jay's chest, and then he heads into the kitchen and goes up the stairs. He tries to be as quiet as he can as he enters Avery's bedroom, but when he sets her down in her bed the little girl stirs and blinks her eyes open.
"Hi bug," Jay says softly with a smile.
"Did you talk to mama?" She asks, wide awake now and staring up at him with her big blue eyes.
He chuckles. "Not yet. I thought you were asleep kiddo."
Avery shakes her head. "You said you would talk to mama."
"You want me to talk to her right now?"
"Please?"
Jay sighs, but he still smiles at her as he nods. "Alright. I'll talk to her and then I'll come back to tuck you in, okay?"
Avery nods, reaching for her teddy bear and holding it close. Jay shoots her one more smile before he leaves the room and makes his way back downstairs, finding Hailey at the bottom of the steps.
"Want me to carry you again?" He smiles at her.
"As tempting as that sounds, I should go up on my own," she tells him, but reaches an arm out to him. "Can you just – "
"Yeah," he says, stepping closer to her.
He wraps an arm around her back as she snakes her arm around his waist, and then grabs onto the railing with her other hand. They head up the stairs slowly, Hailey breathing deeply and holding tightly to Jay as they go. They soon reach the top of the stairs, but she doesn't let go of him until they reach her bedroom and she moves toward the bed.
When Hailey sits down at the edge of her bed she looks over to see Jay still standing in the doorway and catches the glance he makes over his shoulder.
"Are you okay?" She asks him.
"Yeah," he says a little too quickly, but he doesn't move from the doorway. "We should talk though. I uh, I need to ask you something."
She stares back at him from the bed, noticing the uneasy look on his face and the way his eyes don't quite meet hers.
"Okay," she says, swallowing nervously and running through anything he could possibly ask her that has him looking as on edge as he does right now.
She watches him as he closes the bedroom door and shuffles to the end of her bed with his hands stuffed in his pockets, and then he finally looks up at her. He opens his mouth to speak then closes it just as quickly, the words he needs to say somehow getting stuck in his throat. He just doesn't want to upset her.
He rocks back and forth on his heels for a moment, his eyes cast down to the floor, and then he looks back at Hailey and takes a deep breath.
"Did you tell Avery I was her daddy?"
Hailey's mouth opens just slightly, a tiny gasp of surprise slipping through her parted lips. She drops her eyes to her shaking hands in her lap, cursing herself silently for the tears she feels burning in her eyes already.
"You're mad," she assumes as she stares back at him and swallows hard again. She pulls herself from the bed quickly and walks toward him.
"I – I'm sorry," Hailey breathes out as she stands in front of him. Her eyes dart between his chest and the floor, unable to look at him directly, and she shakes her as she says again, "I'm sorry."
"Hailey – "
"No!" She shakes her head, her tears falling as she finally meets his eyes. "I – I panicked in that bathroom and I just – I just said it. You – "
Hailey shakes her head again, her heart beating wildly and her shoulders heaving as she breathes heavily.
Jay opens his mouth to speak, but she beats him to it as she wipes away at her tears frustratingly and looks up at him.
"I didn't think I'd ever see her again," she tells him, her voice crackling with each syllable she speaks. "But…but I knew you'd find her. I – I knew you'd find her and I wanted her to know that it was okay. That if I was gone she would still have you. I just wanted her to know it was okay."
"I'm sorry," Hailey says again, giving another quick shake of her head as her words continue to come out of her in a rush of panic, a rush of fear that he might leave because of this. "I'll tell her – I – I'll tell her I lied. I'll figure it out. I'll – I'll tell her something. I'm sorry."
Jay shakes his head this time, taking a careful step toward her as he pulls his hands from his pockets and reaches for hers that still shake at her sides. She flinches as he reaches for her and takes a step back on instinct, her eyes falling to the floor again and he drops his arms to his sides.
"Hailey, you don't need to be sorry," he tells her, his voice soft and quiet as he keeps his eyes on her. "I'm not mad. I promise I'm not mad at you."
Hailey glances up at him, her eyes filling with more tears and her voice a strangled breath as she all, but whispers, "Please don't leave."
Jay shakes his head again. "I'm not leaving. I won't. Not unless you want me to."
"No!" Hailey cries, shaking her head quickly again as she stares at him. "I don't want you to leave."
"Then I won't," he tells her again as he tries to take a step toward her. He moves slowly, reaching his hands out to her again with his palms facing up.
She looks down at his hands then back up at his face, her heart pounding in her chest and her bottom lip quivering.
"It's okay," Jay says, nodding his head slowly. "It's just me."
She whimpers, almost as if she's unsure, but she takes a step forward and stretches her arms out toward him. Her hands tremble and she pulls back slightly, still hesitant and the fear evident on her face until she places them in Jay's.
"It's okay," Jay says again, wrapping his fingers around her hands as he takes the last step toward her to close the distance between them.
He can feel her hands shaking, sees the way her whole body trembles in front of him as her eyes fall to the floor again so he squeezes her fingers between his, holding tightly on to her.
"Hailey," he calls to her softly, as if trying to pull her back from whatever minefield she's trapped herself in inside her own head.
He squeezes her hands again and she finally looks up at him, whimpering again when her eyes meet his.
"I'm not mad at you," he tries to assure her with another tight squeeze of her fingers between his. "I love that little girl. I – I want her to call me that. I want to…be that."
"Yeah?" Hailey asks, her lip still trembling as she looks at him.
"Yeah," he breathes out with a nod of his head and a soft smile.
She breathes out a heavy sigh and her shoulders drop, relief flooding her as she stares up at him and sees the sincerity of his words in his eyes.
She nods slowly. "I – I'm sorry. I – I don't know – "
"You don't need to apologize. It's okay."
"I freaked out. I…" she trails off, her head shaking from side to side.
"It's okay," Jay says again. "Really, it's okay. I understand."
"I thought you were mad," she says quietly. "And her birthday…I – I told her that you weren't and – and then I told you to leave and I – "
"You were scared. I know why you did what you did. I wasn't mad at you then and I'm not mad now," he says softly. "Really, I'm not. And I'm not going anywhere either."
"What's wrong with me?" Hailey asks then through teary eyes.
"Nothing is wrong with you. You went through hell last night."
"Then why do I feel like I'm losing my mind?"
"You're not losing your mind," Jay shakes his head. "You're dealing with a lot. I think what you're feeling is completely normal."
Hailey nods at him, breathing out through several deep breaths, and then she tilts her head at him.
"I'm really bad at this…this being together thing. I don't have a very good track record and my parents didn't exactly set the best example for me while I was growing up…" she trails off, sighing heavily once more as she steps back and leads him to the bench at the foot of her bed. They sit down beside one another and she turns to face him.
"I – I have no idea what's gonna happen or how I'm gonna get past all of…all of this, but I know I want this, this thing with you," Hailey tells him, letting out a deep sigh as she holds on to his hands almost for dear life. "I – I wanna be with you. I want to learn to do this. I – I know I'm a mess right now, but – but I still want it."
Her voice is a mess of stuttered words and shaky breaths, but her eyes don't leave his as she says, "But I also know it's a lot and I don't want you to feel like you have to – I don't want you to feel obligated – "
"I'm in, Hailey."
"What?"
"I'm in," Jay tells her again, staring into her eyes as a tiny smile peeks out across his mouth. "With you, with Avery, with us, with all of it. I'm all in."
"All in?"
He nods, a soft grin stretching out across his face as he looks at her.
"All in," he says again, then he whispers, "I love you Hailey and I love Avery. I'm all in."
"We love you too," Hailey tells him with tears trailing down her cheeks and a tiny whimper escaping through her trembling lips. She squeezes his hands tightly as she stares back at him and says, "I – I love you."
His smile widens and he leans in to press his lips against her forehead once, then twice, squeezing her fingers between his and pulling back a moment later to look at her. He quickly notices the way her eyes dart between his and his lips and all around them, an uneasy look on her face, unsure and hesitant.
"I – I…"
"We have plenty of time," Jay tells her with a shake of his head and that same soft smile splayed across his face as he says, "I'm not going anywhere."
Hailey nods again, breathing out another heavy sigh of relief as she stares back at him.
"There's something else I wanted to talk to you about too," Jay says quietly. "Kev and I talked earlier and he gave me an idea I haven't stopped thinking about."
"What kind of idea?"
"It's nothing crazy, but Voight put us on furlough together and – "
"You don't need to take time off for me. Ave and I will be fine. You – you can go back to work."
He smirks at her, tilting his head with a quirked eyebrow and she sighs.
"What's your idea?" Hailey asks him.
"I've told you about my family's cabin right? The one up in Wisconsin?"
"A little. Why?" Hailey drawls out, tilting her head at him.
"What do you say you, me and the kid go away for a couple days? The cabin is right on the water and it's secluded. We can roast marshmallows and I can take Ave swimming, have a little fun. We can get out of town and just relax for a bit."
"I – really?"
"Yeah, really. What do you think?"
"I appreciate what you're trying to do – it's sweet, but you really don't need to take time off for us. We'll be okay."
"Hailey," he breathes out, shaking his head at her. "I didn't ask for furlough. Voight gave it to me because he knows all I would do is worry about the two of you the entire time. I wanna be here for you, for both of you, and getting out of town for a few days and giving yourself a distraction might not be the worst thing."
He gives a tug on her hands, smiling that sweet grin of his as he juts his chin out at her. "So what do you think?"
Hailey sighs again, but nods slowly and quietly says, "I think it's just what I need right now. What Ave needs too."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," she breathes out, the corners of her mouth quirking upward as a small smile appears.
"It'll be a good time," he assures her, his grin widening as he leans in to press another quick kiss to her forehead.
"I trust you," she says as he pulls away.
Jay nods then breathes out a heavy sigh when he remembers the promise he made to Avery. He tilts his head to the side, glancing to the bedroom door then looking back at Hailey.
"I gotta go talk to Avery before bed," he says. "I upset her earlier. She – she's kinda been calling me daddy all day and I – I made a bit of a mess of things earlier. I gotta go fix it."
"Okay," Hailey nods. "Is she alright? Should I come with – "
Jay shakes his head. "She'll be just fine. I'd like to do this on my own, if you don't mind of course."
"I don't mind," she tells him. "I'll give you some time with her before I come in to say goodnight."
He nods again, smiling sweetly at her and pressing his lips to her forehead once more before he pulls his hands from hers and stands to his feet.
He walks to the bedroom door and pulls it open, then heads down the hall toward Avery's room. The door is open as he approaches and he stands in the entry way, leaning against the doorframe and watches the little girl for a moment. She's sitting up in her bed now with a sad look on her face and the teddy bear he'd given to her for her birthday in her lap.
Jay raps his knuckles against the doorframe, smiling over at the little girl as he calls out, "Hey bug."
She looks up, her eyes matching the sullen expression on her face, and then she whispers, "Hi."
"I'm sorry I took a little longer than expected, but I talked to mama and you were right," he tells her as he pushes off the doorframe and walks toward her. "I was the confused one. I'm sorry I didn't believe you."
"I wasn't lying," Avery says quietly, lifting her teddy bear to her chest and holding tightly to it.
"I know you weren't. I'm sorry baby," Jay tells her as he kneels down beside her bed.
"So mama said you're my daddy, right?"
He smiles a soft grin at her as he reaches for one of her hands and holds it tightly between his, then nods at her.
"Yeah baby. I'm your daddy."
Avery drops her teddy bear and pulls her hand from Jay's, then reaches for him, throwing her little arms around his neck and holding on to him tightly. He lifts his arms around the little girl and squeezes her against him, then kisses the side of her head.
"I don't want anyone else to be my daddy," Avery whispers over his shoulder.
Jay squeezes her again as she clings to him, feeling the little girl's tears fall against his neck.
"I'm not going anywhere baby," he tells her. "I'm staying right here with you and mama, okay?"
Avery nods against him, sniffling into his neck and he squeezes her again as he presses another kiss to the side of her head. He pulls away a moment later to look at the little girl, reaching his hands to her face to wipe at the crocodile tears that continue to spill from her eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere," he says again, smiling softly at her once more.
Avery nods again then glances over his shoulder behind him and a small smile ghosts over her face.
"Hi mama," she calls out quietly.
Jay turns his head, spotting Hailey in the doorway with tears of her own falling down her cheeks and smiles at her, knowing she's heard their conversation – or at least a good portion of it based on the look on her face.
"Hi baby," Hailey says with a soft smile, wiping under her eyes as she walks toward them.
Jay stands to his feet, allowing Hailey to sit at the edge of the little girl's bed, and steps to the side to stand behind her.
"I'm sorry for confusing you baby," Hailey says to her daughter. "Mama was the one who was confused. I was just scared."
"Of the bad guy?" Avery asks, reaching for her teddy bear again.
Hailey swallows hard, nodding slowly. "Yeah, baby."
"Are you still scared?" The little girl asks.
"A little," Hailey tells her, reaching a hand to her daughter's face and brushing her thumb across her cheek. "But he's gone. He can't hurt us anymore. You're safe, okay?"
Avery nods and Hailey leans forward, pressing a kiss to the little girl's forehead.
"How do you feel about going on another trip with mama?" Halley asks her.
The little girl scrunches her eyebrows, a not so sure look on her face as she tilts her head. "Another trip mama?"
"Yeah," Hailey nods. "And I promise this one will be fun."
Avery stares at her for a moment, tightening her arms around her teddy bear as she looks between Hailey and Jay a few times before setting her eyes back on her mother.
"Is daddy gonna come with us this time?" Avery asks, a slight whimper in her voice.
Hailey glances over her shoulder, smiling at Jay as he stares at the pair in front of him with a soft grin of his own on his face. She turns back to Avery, still smiling as she nods.
"Yeah, baby. Daddy's gonna come with us this time."
A look of relief comes over the little girl's face, followed by a sweet smile, and then she gives a quick nod before she lies down and rests her head against her pillow. "Okay mama. When are we leaving?"
"Maybe tomorrow after breakfast," Hailey tells her as she leans down over the little girl and tucks the blankets in around her. "But first, you need to sleep. Are you okay here in your bed or do you wanna sleep with me again?"
Avery shakes her head, then lifts the bear at her side. "I'll be okay. I got my space teddy."
Hailey grins at her, glancing down at the stuffed animal in her daughter's arms.
"You love that one, huh?"
Avery nods, squeezing the bear in her arms. "Daddy gave him to me."
"Yeah, I know," Hailey says softly, still smiling at her as she leans down and kisses the little girl's forehead once more. "Get some sleep, okay? I love you baby."
"Love you too mama," Avery tells her as
Hailey stands from the bed, catching the sweet smile on Jay's face as she moves to the other side of the room and switches on her daughter's nightlight, and then makes her way to the door.
"Goodnight bug. I'll see you in the morning, okay?" Jay says to the little girl before he leans down over her and presses his lips to the side of her head. "I love you."
"Love you too daddy," Avery tells him, turning on her side and holding her teddy bear between her arms.
Jay grins at her as he stands up straight then turns to head toward the door. He catches Hailey staring at him, smiling softly, and they move out into the hallway.
Jay closes the door behind them and turns around to face Hailey, a cheesy grin on his face, and then he says, "I'm never gonna get over her saying that."
"She really loves you," Hailey tells him, her smile widening as she nods to her bedroom at the end of the hall.
Jay follows after her down the hallway and when they enter the room he watches as she moves toward the bed. She pulls back the covers and just as she's about to sit down in bed she catches him staring and quirks an eyebrow at him.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just – I should stay downstairs right?" Jay asks, hooking a thumb over his shoulder. "I don't want you to – I don't wanna make you uncomfortable."
Hailey shakes her head, nodding to her bed as she sits down and stretches her legs out under the covers, and then she shrugs her shoulders at him.
"I don't wanna sleep without you," she says quietly.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," she tells him, patting the empty space beside her. "Please?"
Jay stares across the room at her for a moment before he steps forward and walks to the other side of the bed. He pulls off his jeans and tosses them to the floor, then slips in beside her in his t-shirt and boxers.
Hailey reaches for the lamp on the nightstand at her side, switches it off and lies down on her back as Jay settles against the pillows next to her. She turns her head to look at him and finds him already looking back at her, but then she notices the hesitation on his face and the way he seems to keep some space between them.
"If you change your mind," Jay says softly, "If – if you want me to go…please tell me and I'll sleep downstairs, okay?"
"I won't change my mind," Hailey tells him with a slight shake of her head.
She shuffles closer to him and turns on her side to face him as she stretches out an arm toward him to reach for his hand. She weaves their fingers together, resting their joined hands in the sliver of space between them in the bed, and then squeezes tightly.
"You make me feel safe," she mumbles as she looks at him.
He squeezes back and nods, then reaches for the lamp on his side to turn it off, setting the room into darkness save for the dim glow of a nightlight coming through the open door from the hallway.
Hailey breathes deeply beside him, brushing her thumb over the top of his hand as she feels her body relax, ready to welcome sleep whenever it finally decides to come.
"Jay?" She whispers to him.
"Hmmm?"
"Can you hold me?"
"Yeah," he breathes out, smiling in the darkness. "Yeah, I can do that."
He squeezes their hands between them one more time before he pulls his hand away from hers and turns on his side, his warm breath hitting the top of her forehead as he faces her.
"Come here," he says softly as he lifts an arm between them.
Hailey moves in closer, resting her head on his arm and using him as her own personal pillow, and then he raises his other arm and settles it across her waist.
"Is this okay?" He asks her as he rests his hand at her back.
"Mhmmm," she mumbles against him.
She folds her legs into a fetal position against him and burrows her face into his shoulder as she grips the front of his t-shirt in her hands. She breathes him in and counts the number of his breaths that hit her forehead, focuses on his arms around her and the way he makes her feel safe, grounded, and in control of the things around her.
A heaviness comes over her eyelids and her eyes begin to droop. She clutches tighter to his shirt, breathing deeply beside him, and as she feels herself start to doze off, his lips brush over her forehead, there's a mumble of "I love you" against her skin, and then her grip loosens as she falls asleep.