(AN: i had to repost this chapter bcos i guess copying and pasting it straight from AO3 fucked up the formatting lol whoops, i hate this fucking site pls just go read it on AO3 instead i always update there first anyways)
Before Mario and Peach finished packing and left, Luigi and Peasley were also there to get Luigi's stuff to move out, but we already know this. They packed all of his nerdy shit and said good bye to Wario and Waluigi's mom and then went off to Peasley's mom's house to get his stuff too. They both went to his big expensive house, which was bigger than most houses but it wasn't a castle like Peach's because he is rich but not that rich, and Luigi knew he would have so many things to pack up. He might as well be dating a girl like Peach.
They both went inside, and they could both see Peasley's big fat mom doing the dishes and cleaning them like a mom does. She heard them both come inside and ran up to both of them. She picked them up, one boy in each arm, and hugged and squeezed them so hard they pooped. They each had their heads pressed against her large boobs, and to anyone that were to look in through the window, it would look like she was breast feeding them by force.
"Peasley and Luigi, it is so good to see you! I am so proud of both of you for going to College for a higher education! Hurry up and pack your things, just be sure to visit me all the time okay?" She was crazy, but right, because they needed to pack Peasley's stuff. They(which is Luigi and Peasley, together) both went up stairs to Peasley's attic bed room. He had so much shit everywhere, and it amazed Luigi how he could be romantically and sexually involved with a dude who doesn't clean his shit up off the floor. Boxes of Cheez-Its brand cheese flavored crackers, cumrags, and all sorts of gay shit was covering the floor. It was as if his floor was covered in a sea of trash, which it pretty much was so this simile was not needed.
"Peasley!" Luigi said, surprised at his Boyfriend's uncleanliness, "Why the fuck don't you ever clean your room? If we had sex every second of the day I would understand, but we don't so you should have time to do it!" Luigi was like a nagging wife bitching to her ugly husband except it was gay because they were boyfriends. Peasley was proof that gay people do not adhere to stereotypes because he was disgusting. Peasley said "Look, it really doesn't matter. If i clean it it'll just get dirty again, plus no one sees it. It's not like the President is gonna see it." and Luigi thought that it was a good thing that he would never see it because if that happened then his boyfriend would get deported.
"Well you better not let this happen in our new dorm room. You're gonna learn how to have cleanliness because I am not living with someone who does this even if you are my Boyfriend." Pealsey thought Luigi was making a big deal out of nothing, but he would do whatever made him happy anyways, because he loved him and also he kinda wanted him to just stop talking so they could pack, which they did after Luigi stopped complaining. They packed up all of the stuff Peasley wanted to bring with them to College into some boxes and put it into Peasley's car.
Luigi and Peasley, being gay, can't have kids, so they didn't have to trade in their cars for a family friendly vehicle like Mario and Peach did. They put some boxes in the back seat, some in the trunk, and any that didn't fit just got stacked on top of the car. By the time they loaded up everything, the stack of boxes looked like both of the Twin Towers piled on top of each other. This meant that they had to be extra careful while driving because they didn't want to cause another national tragedy.
After a little bit of driving, they got over the hill and saw a giant, fancy looking building, and that was Super Mario College. The next step of their lives was right there and they were so close. The kept driving, and they drove past a big fountain and duck pond, a large parking lot, and a bunch of students standing around instead of doing school stuff. One of the students let her teenage pregnancy child wander in front of their car and they almost hit it which would have been deserved on her end but would've also sucked because then their car would be damaged.
They made it to their college dorm building, which was like the school building but you slept in it, kinda like when you'd have nap time in my pre-school but it was permanent. Luigi got out of the car and was like, "God damn it, it is going to take all day to bring all of this shit into our room, and even when we finish it, it probably won't even fit." But Luigi just thought it and didn't say it, but then he actually, vocally, said "God damn it, it is going to take all day to bring all of this shit into our room, and even when we finish it, it probably won't even fit."
Peasley blew hair out of his face like a mean bitch and rolled his eyes and groaned and crossed his arms and looked like a mean bitch. "It's not even that much," he said as the giant tower of boxes on top of the car was obstructing the paths of several airplanes and caused two of them to collide with each other and explode, probably killing at least a hundred people who just wanted to come to America to try Lil Caesers pizza for the first time. "If it's too much, we can just hire poor minorities to move them, haha" but Luigi did not think that racism was funny and this didn't even make sense coming from Peasley because he was green.
Luigi had Peasley tie all of the boxes onto his back like a pack mule, which was okay because Luigi had plenty of practice doing this on their sex breaks from life and also his working job as a pack mule. Luigi had to climb all kinds of stairs because Peasley had to get the top floor room because it had a view of the college gym with all the naked buff guys and also the roof had a pool, a soda machine, and a boxing ring except people used it for sex and not boxing(unless it was violent sex). Luigi was so sweaty and stinky when he made it to the door of their room, and he could barely fit through it because of all the shit he was carrying.
Peasley kicked him in the ass which forced Luigi and all the boxes to fly into the room and fall on the floor, and Luigi was covered in a huge mountain of boxes, so covered up that you could only see his twinkish leg poking out. Peasley helped get some of the boxes off of him and helped him up, which Luigi appreciated, but it was Peasley's fault this happened in the first place and also he was laughing at him so that's a double negative and cancels out the nice gesture. "I'm sorry Luigi, but I wanted to hurry and unpack so we could get this done and then go to sleep for College tomorrow."
Luigi looked a little pissed, but then he remembered that they would probably have sex later to make up for it, so he cheered up instantly, and they got to work unpacking all of their material bullshit. Peasley had so many clothes, which was weird because he preferred to dress in ways that made him look almost naked, and they stuffed the closet to the brim so Luigi had to use this old dresser that had a broken leg and smelled like someone left their abortion in it 10 years ago. Luigi was unpacking one of Peasley's boxes and found one of those cheap sugar cookies you get at WalMart but it was super hard and fossilized, and Luigi thought it could be sold for a high price to a museum so it can be studied and provide educational learning material for future generations.
It became night time hours later, and they were done unpacking, and their dorm room looked so homely and definitely like it it belonged to gay people of the male persuasion. They had a TV with video games hooked up to it(and they weren't even gay ones), and they had a comfy bed that Peasley somehow already got Subway sandwich crumbs on it when they didn't even get Subway, they got a Wendy's salad(each). It looked like if Luigi's and Peasley's old bedrooms had sex with each other, which was what Luigi was hoping would happen tonight.
They were lying on the bed, resting after all of their hard work, and Peasley was lying there on the bed looking so relaxed. Luigi got kinda nervous. They had sex like, several times before, but he had never initiated coutis before. It was like Peasley was the ring leader at the circus and Luigi's penis was the lion that jumped through the hoop, which is funnier to imagine if you think of the hoop as Peasley's butthole. "Peasley...I..." Luigi got all sweaty again, which meant he was going to smell twice as bad naked, and he put his hand on Peasley's thigh.\
But then, because his hands were so sweaty, they slid and he ended up full-on grasping Peasley's beanstalk. Luigi blushed so hard, and his face got so hot that earwax started bubbling up and pouring out of his ears. "O M G! PEASLEY I did not MEAN to do that!" Luigi was so ashamed, but then he started feeling it get erect in his hand. "Oh, Luigi," said Peasley in a sex voice, "I was afraid you were too tired for doing sex tonight, let's get started on it right now!" They both got so excited when thinking of the prospect of sex that they snapped out of exhaustion, and began to get ready for it(the sex).
Luigi climbed on top of Peasley and he started taking off his clothes. He didn't have big boobs or muscles or anything else exciting, except for his penis, which was what he wanted. He took off Peasley's shorts and saw it, and it was like a grandmother seeing her grandchild again on Thanksgiving. But then he saw Peasley's butthole. He couldn't decide which part of him he wanted to have sex with first. Topping was so much work. Ultimately, he decided to do something no one had ever heard of before: having sex with his butt and giving mouth sex to his penis at the exact same time.
"Luigi, no!" Peasley cried out to Luigi, "It goes against everything we stand for as a species!" But Luigi did not hear, because he was too enraptured by thoughts of the awesome sex he was gonna perform. He almost wished he had invited an audience and a team of historians to watch them do it so that it could be documented and shared with the world. It was going to be that awesome of a sex. Luigi readied himself, like a cheetah about to leap at a lost baby elephant dying of thirst, and began to initiate sex onto Peasley.
Luigi put his penis into Peasley's butthole and also bent down to put his mouth on Peasley's penis and balls. He began thrusting into his butt like an oil rig pumps into the Earth's crust looking for fossil fuels. His thrusts would, in turn, cause Luigi's head to make insane wobbly motions, which gave a level of pleasure which was previously only known to aliens who inhabited the 7D dimensional vortex and possessed 3 cerebral hemispheres. Peasley was so turned on and full of sex-feelings that he had to keep himself from expelling all of his bodily excretions at once by putting his finger into his ear and rewiring his sacral nerves.
They were having so much sex that the entire dorm building began to shake, which caused campus-wide panic due to fears of an earthquake. They all evacuated the building and left for the giant industrial fallout shelter hidden beneath every college campus on America, which were all erected after the outcome of the Roe v. Wade case of 1973 out of fear of a tidal wave of amniotic fluids drowning the planet. This was better for Luigi and Peasley because now they could have louder and cooler sex without having to worry about bothering anyone else with their gay activities.
Because their sex was so awesome, it did not take long for them to finish, which was probably the best for the infrastructure of their building. Semen and cum flew out of their penis' with great speed, and it was that episode of Spongebob where they painted Mr. Krabs' house by exploding paint everywhere. Their room was covered in their own semen. Luigi and Peasley were now extra exhausted, from both unpacking and just now from having universally renowned sex with each other. They were sweating and breathing so hard, about to pass out.
"Luigi, that was our best sex yet," said Peasley, who was so inlove with Luigi at that moment in time. Luigi grinned and said, "Thanks! I guess it runs in my family," which had to be true, because Mario was basically a Master at sex having, and now Luigi just gave the best sex ever to Peasley. They started kissing and cuddling, but then they realized they had to clean all of the semen up because their semen had just ruined all of their hard work. Also they did not want to become encased in hardened semen and become frozen in time.
They got up out of bed, but they had to help each other walk because they were drained from sex and could barely stand. They managed to clean up everything before the students and staff returned to their rooms after confirming that it was safe to step outside the bunker. It was getting late when they finished, so they headed straight to bed so they could wake up early for College classes tomorrow, even though they really wanted to keep doing sexy stuff all night long. Part of growing up is knowing how to have self control and uphold responsibility.