This chapter has been modified to meet FFN guidelines. The original (MA 18+) version of this chapter is available on AO3.
In moments like this, time is a precious commodity. But the adrenaline rush she gets does not necessarily indicate urgency.
Outside the singular window comes the gentle fall of rain. The clouds are dark and heavy, but the atmosphere is strangely weightless, as if the incongruous elements of the sweet air inside the inn room is fenced by the window.
Tobi is still kissing her. His touch is mild and subdued. Rin does not force change, except when she takes his hand, he suddenly leans in and kisses her deeply.
Instantly, she is mesmerised by the avidity. Her mind assimilates the ruggedness of hard muscles beneath her hand, and when she slides the cloak from his shoulders, the voracious desire intensifies.
Tobi does not let the brief second break from unclothing last. When his mouth collides the second time, his arms encircle her in a possessive embrace. And when her body is sliding against him, he lets out a rough groan of satisfaction.
Her sensitivity heightens without material barriers, and though she can feel the incredibly well formed planes of his chest, she can also feel the unnaturalness of artificial skin between the jagged formation of numerous scars.
When Tobi breaks from her, he is cupping her face in his hands and pressing his forehead lovingly against hers.
"Sweet Rin," he breathes softly.
In one swift movement, he slides both dress and undergarment from her body so that she is sitting naked before him.
Self-consciousness instantly settles. She raises her arms and wraps them around herself.
"I want to see you," he pries her arms apart.
She momentarily complies, until the feelings of embarrassment soars and she pins herself against him in an attempt to cover herself.
"You're depriving me," he groans.
She stifles a giggle into his shoulder. His intoxicating scent is remarkably enticing, as if she is floating through a mysterious world of fervour. It lingers in her nose and spreads a doting feeling of intimacy throughout her body.
Ever so delicately, he runs a hand down her back and gently strokes in ambiguous patterns. The warmth infiltrates her like a persistent sensation of need that dusts the very surface of her skin.
When she pulls from him, he is gazing wistfully at her, as if he too is lost in the mesmerising trance.
"I've never been up close to a man before," Rin says inquisitively.
Her eyes assimilate the smooth surface of muscles that is so evident across his broad chest. Comparatively to him, she is miniscule.
Then she sees the intermeshed substance of Senju cells that so are intricately merged with the very scarred and damaged right side of his body. As her fingers lightly brushes the area, Tobi suddenly flinches.
"I'm sorry, did that hurt?" She says.
"No," he breathes, "It's fine, I just…"
He trails off hesitantly.
When Rin continues to stare, he glances sheepishly at her before speaking.
"An odd feeling I suppose."
And instantly, she understands.
"Have you never been touched like this before?"
He is looking uneasy.
"No."
She gives a smile of assurance, then reaches for him. The intact skin on his left side is warm beneath her fingers. She can feel the gentle beat of his heart when her hand caresses the surface of even skin. Though his body is heavily marred, she still appreciates the beauty it exudes.
When she leans in for a second embrace, she lets her torso slide against him. The feel of his hard chest is a perfect sensuous contrast between the softness of her breasts.
Tobi revels in her action. His arm encircles her protectively as his hand digs through the silky strands of her hair. He kisses the edge of her shoulder, then gradually progresses to the side of her neck. And he is careful, the bruises pulsate bitterly, yet he works around them ever so delicately.
"Tobi?" She whispers.
There is a frown of concern etched across his features.
"Please stay," she continues.
And his expression softens.
"I won't go anywhere."
The hesitancy is brief, and when he kisses her again, the desperation is flagrant. She is eager to feel his entirety, so she completely unclothes him and brings him down to the bed with her.
His lips move to the side of her neck and across to the sensitive hollow of her collarbone. The cascade of zealous kisses he gives is like a cage full of enigmatic ardour. It intensifies into something beyond euphoria when he progresses down to trace the underside of her breast. Then, she feels the warmth of his breathing against her skin and the softness of his tongue as it lightly flicks back and forth against the pink crest. And when he encloses it in his mouth, she lets out a raspy cry of enjoyment that saturates the air with impassioned arousal.
Perhaps it is the gentle-vicious like sucking motion, or the sensuous jolt of excitement when he playfully bites down on her, but her physical state is contradictory. It sits between the anomalous beats of her heart and the steady, even intake of her breathing. Again she revels in the sweet action when he repeats it on her other side.
For several moments, he lays his head against her. She takes the opportunity to survey the stark mixture of undulated scars and smooth skin. Though he looks incredibly formidable, there is a covert gentleness concealed behind his rough exterior. She wonders how many people had the privilege of holding this incredible person so closely.
"Tobi," she whispers.
He is now busying himself with kissing her forehead.
"Tobi, how many women have you been with?"
He frowns.
"Why does that matter?"
But he does not await her response before resuming his exploration.
She holds his arms.
"I'm curious, tell me," she says.
He surveys her with a dubious expression before speaking.
"Many," he says hesitantly, "but only you matter."
He gives her a smile that heartens her need for him. Though she is slightly intimidated by the level of experience he possesses, it does not preclude the rising level of jealousy that so many women have gotten to him before her.
The small nod she gives is an invitation for his deep kisses that vanquishes all discomforting thoughts. Perhaps she is lost in the enchantment of his touch, or the passionate intimacy that is finally happening between them, but she is vaguely aware of a sudden familiar sensation against her entry.
Her eyes flutter open and Tobi is watching her in a peculiar manner. His fingers have made its way into her, and she is giving him a speculative look in response.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks softly.
There is an element of apprehension to his tone.
"Don't stop," she breathes.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Please don't stop."
His expression lightens uncertainly, but there is also a look of longing behind his watch.
Without wavering from her, he gently parts her legs with his knee. Alongside his wistful gaze, there is another more powerful emotion she finds inscrutable. Something that compels her to stare back with such immense potency, she feels as if she is looking into the depths of his dejected, reticent soul.
Slowly, he leans in and presses against the softness of her warmth. There is an internal conflict that rages on between her heart and her mind, each determined to protect her in its own ways. Physically, her body is nervous, tense and agitated, a state only her mind is responsible for.
But it is her heart that forces composure. It desperately wants to feel every inch of him, his security and the surrendering of his vulnerabilities. And it is these thoughts and desires that allows her body to relax, to feel the explicable affection, and to brace herself for the surge of pain.
Not for the first time, she is cursing her innocence. A large part of her is deathly afraid the unbearable pain will destroy the desire that has been building tirelessly between them. And Tobi may be reading her thoughts because he is staring curiously and toning down his action.
"Are you okay?"
She nods.
So he resumes whilst she holds on to his shoulders. The gaze he gives is sentimental, yet so incredibly fearful.
"Rin, I'm so sorry, please forgive me," he whispers resentfully.
In one forceful move, he advances into her fully. His arms swiftly moves to embrace her as she lets out an agonising cry. The pain is so excruciating, like a searing, burning sensation that escalates in intensity with every passing second.
She has never felt so much discomfort in her life, as if her muscles are being ripped from the inside and her body is stretching to accommodate him.
"Rin, I'm so sorry," Tobi says, and he is kissing her again.
Yet beneath the blatant agony, and the erratic breathing, she feels so close and connected to this wonderful person, as if a part of her empty soul is suffused with an immeasurable amount of hope and security.
Lying there, she can almost hear the sounds of their heartbeats out loud, how deafening the silence between them is and how much passion and rapture saturates the air.
Gradually, the searing pain subsides, and it leaves behind a strange yet exhilarating feeling of lust.
"Is that all to it?" Rin whispers curiously.
Tobi surveys her in bewilderment, then lets out a short laugh.
"If you want it to be," he answers.
"Is there more to it? Show me," she demands.
He gives her a brief frown of uncertainty, then tentatively complies.
His movements are slow and gentle. It allows her body all the time it needs to accustom itself to the uncomfortable invading and re-invading motion.
Experimentally, her legs intertwine around his, and her body shifts with graceful demure when she arches up to meet his in a stimulating touch.
Eventually, the momentum increases. He sits up slightly and braces himself on one arm so that his lower body is angled. Then he lifts her waist to deepen the joining between them. At that very moment, the insurmountable pleasure materialises in the form of her shuddering, the highly tenacious grip that digs into his shoulders and the uncontainable gasps of gratification.
Tobi's initial response is passive and focused. But the more she involuntarily reciprocates, the faster his level of control diminishes.
So she just lets him. She lets him relinquish control and she lets his aggressive, merciless lovemaking to dominate.
In a contradictory act, her soft moans and pained whimpers are highly intermeshed with the feelings of satiable pleasure - the deep contact paired with the pain of his vicious forceful thrusts.
The exasperation and sheer anger for the lack of control is evident across his features. But in between these rancorous emotions, there is a different kind of desperation, perhaps the accrual of repressed loneliness and the impalpable need to be wanted.
His release appears to be more out of despair and caustic dissatisfaction than anything.
And when he withdraws from her, his features resemble an exhibit of multiple bitter emotions.
There is a distinctive level of shame and guilt deluging his features as he runs a hand frustratingly through his hair.
"I'm sorry," Tobi whispers brokenly.
His eyes linger in sceptical discontentment when his gaze traces the line of red that is now trickling down her right thigh.
"Dammit!" he says angrily.
"Come here," she says quietly.
When he does not move, Rin encircles her arms around his waist and presses her chest against his back.
"Can you…hold me?" she continues tentatively, "Please?"
Almost instantaneously he turns and pulls her into a possessive embrace. They stay in that position for a long time. The tender quietude and warmth of their proximity is a temporary temple that briefly alleviates the hurt and resentment cloaking their minds.
Once he lets go of her, the kiss he gives is sweet and loving.
"Rin, I promise I'll take the pain away, will you let me?" he presses her gently against the soft sheets.
"Always," she whispers.
So he runs his fingers lightly through her hair, then reposes his arm beneath her head. With his free hand, he brings her leg to his side and braces his upper weight on his preoccupied arm. Then, he slides into her, this time with delicious ease.
Their sighs sync simultaneously in a new surge of pleasure.
As he leans in to kiss her, his movements are harder and faster. It is surfeit with immense zeal and avidity to transcend gratification, but not aggressive enough to classify brutality.
And Rin decides to experiment with her body. She syncs with his actions by lifting her hips and deepening the contact between them.
Eventually she times with him perfectly. The satisfactory sensation of pleasure is stark, intense and unsurpassable. It rises ever so slowly, then courses through at a rapid pace. As she nears her climax, he continues to take her beyond the realms of euphoria.
"Oh…" she sighs heavily.
And it is that incoherent whisper and the soft sigh of her release that allows him to join her in the fleeting moments of ecstasy.