The space between the ground and the stave on the front porch was his place, at least until now, his spot, you know, his sanctuary.
The fresh ground below him and the gloom created by the few sunbeams trough the rafters that held the porch made it a peaceful and soothing place. It was a peace and quietness he's never felt before, not even inside the house itself. However, not even there he could be in total silence; he could hear the steps of his sisters and aunts leaving and getting into the house. Either way that was his place, even the sound of the cracking wood was kind of relaxing; like rain through the window on a cold fall afternoon.
But you know what's even more relaxing tan this fresh, silent and secret place? a good joint, the pipe of peace, some devil's lettuce. You know what I mean, a good weed cigarette.
C'mon man, don't look at me like that; you'd also need some Mary Jane's help if you had to live inside this nuthouse. With nineteen women, nine of them your sisters… well, stepsisters, or cousins… sister/cousins? No, that's not… stepsisters/cousins? Well, one of them was my sister/sister, though she too was my cousin by my father, so… well, you get the point, and now you understand why I need this happy medicine sometimes.
The boy moved on his place (one of the corners) looking for a more comfortable position. Fuck, one more year and I should find a bigger favorite place. Being almost thirteen he was tall, or at least he would be in the future. He was as tall as Liby, and she was seventeen. The boy was desperate to grow up; his life was already fucked up, and being shorter than his sister didn't help to make it any better..
But let's not focus on that. Instead, let's focus on the sweet smoke getting into his lungs.
You know what? Let's focus in nothing at all.
Yeah, that sounds good, Lemy thought as he took another drag to the joint. It's not the finest, but it was good.
Lemy lied down, his back was on the cool, wet ground, but just when he was about to get into a comfy sleep, a hit on the stave followed by the sound of something shattering into pieces brought him back to his senses, He still was kinda stunned due to the smoke, until a cry he could recognize everywhere woke him up like 10 cups of coffee in the morning.
Lizy!
Her cries pierced into him like an adrenalin injection. He crawled through the wood to reach the exit.
With feline-like moves, he got out of the hideout and quickly got on his feet, he spotted his little sister crying in the front door.
He rushed towards her and hugged her tight, drawing her close to his chest, protecting her from everything.
"There, there, it's over" Lemy said patting her back like a baby.
And just when the little girl's cry became just little sobs, sobs that felt like blades stabbing him in the heart, just when Lizy finally calm down, he asked why she was crying.
"L-Leia… Leia threw my… Leia threw my dinosaur toy from the window" Lizy said while pointing at the front yard. The crime scene was fresh; leftovers of what used to be a T-rex were scattered on the grass.
Lemy used his index and thumb to give himself a massage to avoid a headache.
See now why I smoke weed? This is the shit I need to escape from, 24/7, the whole fucking year. And I'm not talking about Lizy crying; because of course taking care of a child is a mother's duty, not his thirteen years old, stunned brother. I'm not talking about Leia; she was a mean girl, bad to the bone. She messed with everyone in the house, and each one of my sisters hated her. Well, maybe hate was a strong word, but heck, she definitely was not one of our favorite sisters. She made no distinctions; but lately she was focusing on Lizy, and me. Right now I'm wearing pink socks, and just for FYI, they match with my underwear. That little bitch put her stupid skirt in the washing machine with my whites, and now I have to wear pink underwear, as if people didn't tease me enough about my sexuality. Now everyone who looks at my underwear will instantly think that Lemy Loud likes to play on the other team. You know, the one with the rainbow flag.
It's not like many girls want to see me on my underwear.
Whatever, it's not the time to ramble about how everyone thinks I'm a fag, or how evil is my sexy little sister Leia.
Wait, sexy?
Lemy kissed her forehead, and taking her by the hand they walked towards the yard just to discover with horror that the T-rex was totally broken. Not even he can fix it now; he, who brought to life the king of the dinosaurs thousands of times. He, who can do everything in the eyes of Lizy.
Lemy let out a heavy sigh; he would have to face his little sister and tell her that he's a useless excuse of a big brother. He'd have to tell her that maybe this time he would not be able to save Mr. Fangs. It was a huge weight on him; because of all the things, disappointing his little sister was something he couldn't bear with.
You know? Everyone think I'm a dork, a weenie and a lame-o. Only Lizy looks up to me and loves me over the others, and losing that wouldn't hurt me, it would kill me.
But he had to do it. It was one of those things nobody wants to do but have to, like peeing outside on the cold mornings, risking to be seen by of his neighbors and that way feed even more his already bad reputation.
But he had to do it. It was either peeing on his father's flowers (take that, you white-haired bastard), or wet his pants waiting for all of his sisters and aunts to use the bathroom. He didn't like not having a favorite TV show because he could never use the TV in the living room. Between novels, comedy shows and Loan's stupid games, he had never seen what he wanted on TV. So yeah, there was a huge heap of shit he didn't want to do but had to. And this time he would have to break the heart of a five years old girl because her favorite toy was broken beyond repair.
Lemy watched as his little sister picked each one of the pieces of the toy as she started to sob again. He knows what she will ask him, he'd hear it many times before. Can you 'heal' Mr. Fangs?
Before she could even talk, he knelt and hugged her from behind, and with a broken voice he begged for her forgiveness.
"I'm sorry… I'm really sorry Lizy" he said. She realized that it could only mean one thing: Mr. Fangs won't get better, not this time.
She started to cry again, breaking his brother's soul in the process. That fucks me really bad; I rather be the one that flew through the window, because seeing her cry hurts much more that breaking a bone, you know?
Lizy cried harder, and Lemy hugged her tighter; they remained like that for several minutes. And after what seemed to be an eternity in hell (because for Lemy, seeing one of his sisters crying was like being in hell), Lizy stopped, and with almost inaudible sobs, she fell asleep in her brother's arms.
Lemy, with broken heart and numb legs for being knelt for so much time, got up carrying his little sister like if she was a treasure. You know what? She is, Lizy actually is a treasure, and if you think otherwise, we can solve it after school, you know, a little talk with the fists.
Lemy got into the house. In the living room, wrapped in what looked like a nest made out of blankets was Loan playing some videogame in front of the TV. The curtains were run, making the light of the TV the only source light in the room, and the pale skin of his sister gleamed with the blinking light coming out of the screen. The sound of the videogame told him that she was killing some aliens or some shit like that.
She looked away from the game; the sound of the door opening drew her attention, but as soon as she saw it was just Lemy, her eyes widened making a scared or a disgusted face; if Lemy was to describe it, it was the kind of look of a wild animal eating its prey, and gnarling to scare the competence waiting to snatch it off her. She looked away fast and wrapped again on the blankets like a scared turtle in its shell.
That was something that was happening very often too; lately Loan was being
mean and kind of hostile. Okay, she was always like that, but not with him, you know? With him she wasn't too nervous and even… friendly, they even talk a little, but lately she was avoiding him.
You know what? Nevermind that, right now I don't have time to deal with Loan's mental issues. Don't get me wrong, I love her like my life, well… maybe not; my life was normally like one of aunt Luan's joke at dinner, so let's put it like I love her more that life itself, but come on, after some time anyone get stressed with Loan. The list of her issues was so long you could write a book about them.
He ignored her and went upstairs. Living in a family with 21 people, the house had to be big, and the terrain was not something you could call big, so it had to grow up, and you could bet his room was in the last floor.
Lemy walked thought the adult's hall on the second floor when suddenly a door opened, and from it one of his aunts, Lucy, left the room. He stopped and froze; for a moment he stood right there, watching the feminine figure in that tight black dress that embraced every curve of her body. It was short, so short he was sure if she bends he could see her panties. God damn it, don't think on doing that, don't look at her, don't look at those tights, and those striped pantyhose, and heck, don't look at her neckline, you're not a pervert, you're not like him.
Lemy had taken so long to react that Aunt Lucy, now in front of him, bent over. Good, now her neckline was in front of his eyes, and man, she had one of the biggest pair of knockers in the house. Not like he spend his time watching at his aunts boobs.
"What happened? Is Lizy okay?" she asked worried but with her usual monotone voice, or maybe it was Lemy's imagination.
He looked down, his throat was so dry and his skin was so bristling due to the closeness with that woman he couldn't answer right away, but when he saw his little sister's face, his heart calmed down and he found peace in her breathing.
"Leia"
He didn't say anything else, it wasn't necessary.
"That girl is getting out of control, I'll have to talk to Lola" she said getting up, Whew, that was close, now the cost is clear.
But it wasn't. He felt how Lucy patted him gently on the head, playfully revolting his hair. A spark went down through his spine, from his head to his crotch… Oh hell no, screw you guys, I'm going home. He walked away, her eyes watching him like a dark angel with a smile on her black lips.
Lemy went up to the third floor running away from… running away from himself; it wasn't the first time, and it actually became a routine.
In the kid's hall, Lizy started to wake up, and he cooed her with some whispers and rocking her little baby as he slowly walked to the end of the hall towards his room. A quick move in the door next to his caught his attention; he spotted a blonde ponytail and a blue eye peeping out the door. He turned quickly, and the door closed at the same time.
Leia. It tasted bitter in his mouth; I've told you this before, I love my sisters, sometimes too much… but Leia, heck, she was something else. She was like a tigress: beautiful, elegant, even cute, but dangerous. You never know when they will attack; you just know they eventually will. And they do.
That's how she was, a tigress: sometimes cute and friendly like a kitty on your lap, and a minute later she's trying to rip off your throat in a bite.
He had to talk with her, but first he had to take care of Lizy. He entered his room; a lot of posters of famous rock bands from the 80's and 90's covered the dirty walls and the space between his bed and the wall was filled with music devices; from a turntable to a complete new generation sound system. He even had a Walkman, one of those so big and heavy it felt like a brick hanging from your pants, and a first generation IPod from the 2000. Neither of them worked when he found them in a second hand store, but he bought them home, and just in one afternoon he put them back to business.
You see, he might look like a metalhead wannabe trapped in the 80's with his long hair, that bandana on his forehead, and his old fashioned denim vest, but he really loved music.
So much that he had a guitar and a bass, a hand-me-down from his mother.
He laid Lizy down on his bed and covered her with his leather jacket. Then sat down in the floor, making some space between all the CD'S and cassettes, and hugging his knees, he was ashamed of himself, it was something he was getting better at lately.
He failed Lizy, he had failed to the only sister who didn't feel disgusted of him or considered him a freak. Well, Lyra wasn't mean with him either, but that was a special case; Lyra was more like a mother figure tan his own mother, but the others… it was as if they weren't his sisters, as if he wasn't their brother, as if they belonged to a club where he was not welcome, and now Lizy would thought he was useless, a failure, a freak. Heck, maybe he was. And then there were his aunts, his father… fuck, even his older sisters. Fucking hormones, fucking puberty, fucking incest.
But he would never give in, hell no. He rather die than 'do that' to Liby, Lacy, and absolutely never would do that to Lizy.
His eyes felt watery, but it was because of the dust in the room. Definitely he was not about to cry like a faggot…
He got up and left the room trying not to make too much noise, and then ran across the hall. Descending two steps at a time, he went to the living room where Loan was still playing with her play station zero, and before anyone of his sisters or his beautiful aunts stopped him, he left the house. He needed some fresh air, he needed to walk.
Take a Walk.
Pasion Pit.