Chapter 5

"I'm not going… I just don't feel well," I mumble out over my full dinner plate. The smell of the blueberry pie in the oven causes nausea to build in my stomach.

"Oh dear, whatever is wrong, child?" my grandmother asks. I glance up at my mom who furrows her brow and then to my dad who couldn't care less as he shovels another forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth while smacking his lips. Christ you're so annoying when you eat. Close your mouth when you chew. Thoughts wanting to escape in spitting insults. Why the hell did we move here? "Christine?" Mama Val probes urgently.

"I feel sick to my stomach," I huff out and I watch my dad do an exaggerated eye roll. "I think I need to lay down" as I excuse myself and push away from the dinner table. I collapse onto my bed with a frustrated sigh. He was so different in my dream; he is terrifying. He is so tall, so dark, and his voice… my God his voice! I've never been so terrified yet so enthralled in my life. I can't possibly face him ever again but this pang so deep in my soul shouts that I need and crave to see him.

What felt like mere minutes was actually two more hours when the light knock comes from my bedroom door. "Christine?" My mother speaks so softly. I roll over and pretend to be asleep. The door creaks open and I feel her touch my cheek before sighing and closing the door behind her. The front door clicks shut and I watch out my window as my parents and Mama Val cram into the old pickup truck and head to the Giry farm.

"Erik? Erik, are you alright?" I hear Meg's bubbly voice calling up the stairs. "Come on, they're here, come downstairs."

I gaze back at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, apprehension twisting my already melted face. It's fine if this visit was with Mrs. V alone, but no, she's brought family with her. Complete strangers. Inviting themselves over. Has she told them about me? Will they gawk at my mask? Will they stare and question why? Will they be afraid of me? I have no time to contemplate these thoughts as Meg bursts into the bathroom and drags me down the stairs. "They won't stay long… just be nice, ok?"

"Fine," I mumble out a growl. "Just don't let them get too comfortable."

"Stop it; don't be rude."

All I want is to be left alone. To be lost in thought of what the hell happened today. How can I dream of someone and have her standing before me in person. Who was she? But I know her… somehow and in some way, I already know her. She is Christine. Christine.

"Hi Mrs. V!" Meg's voice again pulls me to the present.

Hugs and pleasantries exchanged, I see an odd couple behind Mrs. V. "Meg, Erik, this is my son, Gustav Daae and his wife, Cora. They moved in with me just this winter." Hands extend in greetings and the look on Mr. Daae's face is of absolute discomfort and boredom. My hopes alight in knowing that they will not in fact stay very long. "Gustav and Cora have a daughter but she wasn't feeling well this evening and had to stay home. Her name is Christine."

The air is sucked from my lungs and a knot clogs my throat. It's hard to breathe and I suddenly feel ill. "Excuse me for a moment," I barely whisper out and head back up the stairs. I quietly close my bedroom door and collapse onto the floor in disbelief. "Christine… Christine… it just cannot be."

The lights from the pick-up truck glide effortlessly across my bedroom walls, elongating shadows throughout my room. I hear the car doors close and the hushed voices of Mama Val and my parents. I must have lost track of time. It must be late. How long have they been gone? I lay completely still and listen as the footsteps on the steps grow louder as my parents head to their room.

"I don't want her going there, did you see how he simply dismissed himself? No manners whatsoever," I hear my mother say. As always my father simply grunts a reply in a brief acknowledgement. I wonder what has happened?

Finally the house falls silent again and I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I can't keep my body still… I'm growing so much more restless. I can't stay in this house. The silence is oppressive. Slipping on my sneakers, I climb out my bedroom window still in my long nightgown, thankful for the briefest of moments for its long sleeves with a damp, humid chill blanketing the late evening air. Ever so carefully, my footsteps are easy as I walk across the roof of the covered front porch and shimmy down the trellis with purple clematis woven intricately throughout. Mama Val would surely scold me if I ruined her flowers.

My feet hit the dew-covered grass and the hem of my nightgown is immediately soaked. But I don't care, nothing seems to matter right now. There is this burning and yearning from deep within to see Erik, yet I'm absolutely terrified to see him face to face, to be within a small reach of him, to be in his presence. I don't even know where I'm heading and let the moonlight shine on the path through the Giry orchard. This should be unnerving, walking alone in the middle of the night through the wilderness, not knowing how or why. I suddenly stop as the air hitches in my lungs. The most beautiful tree I have ever seen appears to glow like a giant precious gem in the moonlight. Its leaves of emerald green are bright and iridescent. And it's there and in that moment, beneath the blanket of night with the moon smiling with bright light, that I see him… I see Erik. He stares at me and my body freezes and I can't understand what I'm feeling.

He carefully and slowly walks towards, clouds of breath huffing about him, his golden amber eyes glowing like yellow diamonds in the moonlight. He's standing before me and I can't breathe. There's no air, my heart is pounding, my body is trembling as I watch frozen in space and time as he reaches for my hand. His breath is hot and ragged as I feel him whisper against my ear, "Christine, aren't you afraid of me?" I feel his skin on the unmasked side of his beautiful face brush against me with featherlike softness. I lean my face against his, skin touching skin, my breath is shaking and uneasy as I hesitantly lock my eyes to his. Our fingers entwine as we stare in breathless waiting.