A/N: If you would like to see Steph's outfit, copy and search the following terms in Google.

Dress – Alinanova, royal-blue-cocktail-dresses-off-shoulder-party-gowns-2017

Shoes – Nordstrom, manolo-blahnik-hangisi-crystal-buckle-pump-women, black

Chapter 5

At ten to six, I'm pacing my living room floor, waiting for the security buzzer to sound. I'm wearing a royal blue off-the-shoulder dress with a sweetheart v-cut and gathering at the waist. I splurged on a pair of Manolo Blahnik black satin jewel buckle heels to complete the look. I knew there wasn't enough mascara in the world for tonight, so I let Lula complete an individual flare lash treatment. I know I look good, but it's not enough to keep me from the edge of panic.

Am I a fool for letting Ranger back into my life? I got off the non-commitment not-quite-dating merry-go-round, and I refuse to get back on. I told him I was done, and he walked away. Has anything really changed?

Just as I'm about to text and cancel the whole thing, the security buzzer rings. A "Babe" carries through the speaker, and I find my resolve. No one ever found love by running and hiding under the covers.

I lock my door behind me before walking out to the security gate. I don't think there is any sense in letting Ranger into the complex and to my door until I know where things between us are headed. I rather like my locks staying locked.

Ranger is out of the 911 and opening the passenger door before I exit the gate, and I get the sense that he is restraining himself.

"You look beautiful, Babe," he says, his voice low as I pause at the door. He hands me a single white rose with greens, tied together by an exquisite royal blue bow.

"Thank you," I say, mesmerized by the intensity I see in his eyes. Taking the flower, I suddenly find it hard to speak.

"Babe?" Ranger's hand falls on the one holding the flower, and I'm shocked by the uncertain vulnerability attached to his word.

"Nothing. It's nothing," I say, smiling and squeezing his hand with my opposite one. "This is going to sound pathetic, but well, no one's ever given me flowers before," I mumble, looking down again at the perfect rose. "I love it. Thank you."

Ranger squeezes my hand again, and the lack of blank face he is wearing tonight already has me reeling. Is that regret? Ranger steps aside so I can slide into the passenger seat before we begin to drive east.

Classical music is playing softly on the radio, and I settle contentedly into the soft leather. If a car could be considered orgasmic, this one is queen. Between the purr of the engine and the smell of Ranger, well, Steph, best to stop those thoughts right there.

"This is going to sound pathetic, but I'm never taken anyone on a proper date before," Ranger suddenly says, and my lips part as I stifle a gasp of surprise. I quickly close my mouth, but not before Ranger gives me a crooked smile. "I thought I would start by telling you about myself. My parents live in Newark, and I have four sisters and one brother," he begins.

Once Ranger starts talking, he doesn't stop. For the next hour, he tells me his life story, filling the gaps around things I already know. Ranger tells me how his family was poor, and he joined a gang because he saw crime as a quick way to earn a buck when his father lost his job. He talked about how his abuela in Miami taught him that having honor was the better part of valor, and he credits his strong work ethic and high moral values to her. Ranger confesses that he never loved Rachel but will always regret never being more of a father to Julie. Theirs was a courthouse wedding on the eve of a yearlong military deployment, and he only married Rachel to ensure she and his unborn child had access to his military benefits, including healthcare and his Servicemembers Group Life Insurance benefit, should he not make it home. When he came back from that deployment, Rachel had already moved on with Ron and Ranger considered it the honorable thing to step aside. Based on his deployment performance, he already knew he would be tapped for more spec ops jobs. In his mind, signing away his rights to Julie ensured her protection, but deep down, he always wanted more.

"I can't tell you how many people I've killed in the line of duty," Ranger somberly says, and his confession hangs in stark contrast to the previously lighthearted tone. "I thought my soul must be damned because no one could kill as many people as I have, no matter if they deserved it or for God and country or whatever, without severing themselves from God. That's the darkness that exists inside of me. When I met you, I never wanted my blackness to snuff out your light. I never considered that your light would snuff out my blackness."

My hand reaches across and squeezes Ranger's thigh. "You, Ricardo Carlos Manoso, could never be damned," I declare fiercely.

"From your lips to God's ears, Babe," Ranger responds, putting the car into park and placing his hand over mine, the mood instantly lightening again, and I find myself resisting the urge to kiss him senseless.

However, before I lose my self-control and do something I'll probably regret, I'm out of the car and sighing in delight as the smell of the ocean assaults my senses. "Point Pleasant," I sigh, a smile lighting up my face as I take in the sight of my favorite place in the world bathed in early sunset.

Ranger escorts me to an ocean-facing bistro where a maître de is standing by to escort us to a private table on the patio. Just inside, a pianist accompanies a stringed quartet. "I hope you're hungry, Babe," Ranger says. "The chef has prepared a special six-course meal."

The special six-course meal turns out to be every single one of my favorite foods prepared more fantastically than I could have ever imagined, not that I'd ever tell my mother her pineapple upside-down cake no longer ranks number one. As the server takes the last plate away, I stand and walk over to the railing to gaze at the dusk horizon.

Ranger joins me, resting his hand over mine on the rail. "I was careless with you, Babe, and I'm sorry. My words to you were thoughtless and cruel. I did put a price between us. The price was your heart, and I did not treat you like the treasure you are. Will you forgive me?" Ranger looks down at me with contrition and pleading, and tears spill down my cheeks.

"It wasn't only you. I should never have continued my relationship with Morelli. I was scared, and I was so worried about trying to please everyone else I forgot how to take care of myself. I'm sorry, too," I respond. "Of course, I forgive you."

Ranger turns us so that we are facing each other. "Can I kiss you?" he asks, his eyes boring into my heart.

"What if I said no?" I whisper, scarcely believing what I'm saying as Ranger's lips set.

"Then I will wait for you to say yes."

That, more than anything else he could have said, filled me with more confidence and hope than I knew my heart could hold. This must be what it feels like to be valued as a person. Ranger isn't expecting to use my body for his pleasure. Ranger wants to respect and cherish me.

"Yes."

Before I can take my next breath, Ranger's lips are seared against mine, mixing tenderness and passion in a way that makes my knees go weak. As I start to sag, Ranger's arm snakes around my waist to press me to him. I pull away and groan at the unexpected pain the pressure causes.

"Babe?" Ranger's concern is unmistakable.

"It's not you," I assure him, leaning against his chest as I work to regain control of my senses.

"Are you hurt?"

"I'll be okay." I want to have something to do to occupy my body while I try to open up as Ranger has with me. "Maybe we can walk?"

Ranger gives me a chaste, at least chaste in comparison, kiss before turning to escort me from the restaurant. He begins to gently guide me down the boardwalk, which contrary to the term, is a cement walkway parallel to the beach.

"What do you know of my relationship with Morelli?" I finally start.

"That I'm still not sure why you broke up with him. He's a good man, a good cop, and he's from your community. I'm an outsider, and Morelli's assertion that I'm not always on the right side of the law has merit."

I sigh. "Morelli wants to be a good man, but he isn't a good man with me."

Ranger suddenly stops, and I feel him channel his inner zen to calm his tense body posture deliberately. It's like getting a glimpse into his beast, and it reminds me just how dangerous Ranger can be.

"Did he hurt you?" Ranger sounds pained as he asks the question, and I know he already knows the answer.

"I'll be okay," I say again. "I am okay. Let me start at the beginning."

We begin to stroll, and I fill in the blanks he has to my stories, starting with choo-choo and stopping before our final breakup.

"Sometimes, I don't know what to think!" I exclaim, sitting down on a bench and hugging my arms around myself while staring down at the jewels on my shoe tip. "My whole life, I equated being loved with giving in and giving people what they wanted. I might not have wanted to, but my curiosity initially and later, easy sexual response always overrode whatever 'no's' I said. That day, at his house, I ended things with Morelli for good. He didn't take it well." I stop and look away. "No, I'm not going to make excuses for him. My therapist says to call things what they are."

I tense as I make myself say the still painful words. "Ranger, Joe raped and assaulted me."

"Babe," he breathed, and while I'm pretty sure he deducted what I was going to say, hearing the actual words look as though they hit him like a punch in the gut.

I look directly at Ranger as I state, "I know now that Joe has sexually assaulted me several times, but because my body responded, I thought that it must not be sexual assault. My therapist has helped me to understand what happened, and she's helped me to heal. I have a lot of work to do, mind you, but I credit our work together to helping me find the strength and courage to move forward with my life and set good boundaries with people. I'm not telling you any of this so that you can fix it. I don't need a white, or in your case, Cuban, knight in shining armor. I'm telling you because I trust you, and I want you to understand me better."

I feel some of the wind go out of my sails, and I lean back against the bench only to find myself pulled onto Ranger's lap as he wraps his arms around me and cradles me against his broad chest. I melt into the warmth of his body as he rests his chin on my head, and for the first time during this difficult conversation, tears prick my eyes. I was impressed with how well I held it together, but I feel precious, protected, loved, and safe resting here.

"How are you hurt, Babe?" he asks, his words tickling my hair.

"I was leaving his house after we argued when Joe caught me on the stairs. He turned me around before pushing me backward. The fall resulted in a lower back injury that compressed two of my vertebrae together and bruising to my shoulder and hip. I've been in physical therapy, and I'll eventually be pain-free with good exercise habits, although high-impact activities might be an issue long term. It's already a lot better than it was," I report. "I honestly don't think Joe meant to hurt me, and I don't think he consciously set out to rape me. With the way Joe was raised, living with his sorry excuse of a father, and given how I was raised to conform to the Burg mold, we were a perfect storm for consent issues. Joe was horrified he pushed me, and the next day he took a leave of absence from work and checked into a rehabilitation center. I didn't otherwise report the incident since he voluntarily sought treatment. Still, the morning after the attack, I went to a clinic in Hamilton Township for a rape kit and physical documentation of my injuries. I also recorded my testimony with an attorney. I hope I never need it, but I'm prepared if Joe ever so much as threatens me again. Again, please, do not do anything. I took care of it."

We sit silently, each lost to our thoughts and memories, for several minutes before Ranger tenderly adjusts my body so I can see him.

"I won't do anything, Babe, unless you ask me. I want to keep your trust. I can't believe I encouraged your relationship with Morelli, and I've never felt a bigger fool than I do right now. I'm sorrier than I can say." Ranger looks stricken, and I doubt he's ever stood aside from vengeance for anyone else before.

"I made my own choices, Ranger, and so did Joe. You cannot shoulder all the guilt here," I state with determination.

"No, Babe, if you ever come to my bed again, I will hold you and never let you go," he says, and despite the seriousness of this conversation, my heart skips a beat.