Kaira and Eliot got into the office. They had a new client. When they arrived, Nate wasn't there. Just Sophie, Parker, and Hardison were at the table. They grabbed a coffee and waited. Nate still never showed up.
"Where the hell is he at?" Eliot asked.
"Maybe he overslept." Hardison said.
"No, he doesn't oversleep. This guy sets an alarm to set his alarm." Eliot said.
"A man with one watch knows the time. A man with two is never sure." Parker said.
"What?" Kaira questioned, still tired from the night before.
"I had fortune cookies for breakfast." Parker said.
Then Nate came into the meeting room.
"Okay, run it." Nate said, wearing sunglasses and coffee in hand.
"So, what, you had leftover Chinese for dinner?" Hardison asked.
"No, just the cookies." Parker said.
Nate eased into the seat. It was obvious to Kaira that he was hungover.
"Do you put milk on the fortune cookies?" Hardison asked.
"It's not cereal. It's a fortune cookie." Parker said.
"You don't dunk it. I just-" Hardison was saying before Nate interrupted him.
"Whoa, no chatter today. Just - just run it." Nate ordered.
"Henry Retzing - contractor, self-made millionaire, all-around dirtbag. Now, Henry has construction contracts all over Florida, mostly residential, some commercial. But the man is as crooked as the day is long." Hardison explained.
Kaira heard Sophie talk to Nate.
"You okay?" She asked Nate.
"Huh?" Nate said.
"Are you all right?" Sophie repeated.
"Oh, yeah, yeah." Nate said.
"What scam did he run on the Scott's?" Eliot asked.
"It's sharp. See, Retzing took the contract. He did shoddy work, and he stretched out the job. After about a year, the Scott's, like any other law-abiding folks, they just said, "okay, you know what? We're not gonna pay this guy." But when they did that, Retzing put a contractor lien on the property." Hardison explained.
Kaira caught Nate taking aspirin.
"So, once the Scott's ran out of money..." Eliot said.
"Retzing became creditor, took ownership of the house when the bank foreclosed." Hardison finished explaining.
"Slimy." Parker said.
"That's just wrong." Kaira commented.
"Yes, but all of it absolutely legal." Hardison said.
Kaira got sidetracked with what Nate and Sophie were saying.
"Are you drunk?" Sophie asked Nate.
"Technically, no. I was drunk a couple of hours ago. Now I'm just hungover." Nate said.
Kaira tuned back in.
"Florida Attorney General's office investigated the Retzings a few years back, but they couldn't make anything stick." Hardison said.
"So, the game is, get the Scott's their house back." Parker said.
"What's the way in?" Kaira asked.
"The sons in Retzing and sons - Randy and Dennis. See..." Hardison was saying before Kaira got distracted by Nate and Sophie again, saying about a deal that Nate didn't remember making.
"You see, Randy, the older one, he doesn't do much except snowboard and judge snowy wet t-shirt contests." Hardison said.
Kaira got distracted by Nate again.
"Dennis, the "Willy Wonka" worker bee - MBA from Duke. Now, his father, he's the public face of the company, but this man does all the grunt work." Hardison explained.
"Oh, okay, okay. All right, so, they - they beat a state investigation, so they're smart. They have the law on their side, so they're untouchable. Or so they think." Nate chuckled getting up and going to the screen.
"Randy is the sloppy one. Sophie, how's your luge?" Nate asked randomly.
"My what?" Sophie questioned.
"Your luge?" Nate repeated.
Sophie up and left. The team got up. Kaira took Nate aside.
"Never come into this room again if you're drunk or hungover." Kaira hissed.
She walked away with Eliot.
They went to the ski resort in Aspen, Colorado where Randy was staying at.
Sophie had a German accent as she faked a phone call about some party and sat down her wallet. Kaira and Eliot were on the lookout to watch Randy. They were in snowsuits. Randy grabbed the wallet and looked through it, looking Sophie up online.
"Hansel's after Gretel." Eliot reported back.
"Got it." Nate responded, who was obviously at the bar.
"Sorry Ute Ausgatner." Hardison said.
Randy got up to find Sophie.
"It's a bar. I'm blending." Nate said.
Kaira should sense the look he was getting from Sophie.
"So that's what we're calling it now." Kaira said, not happy.
Nate scoffed as he warned Sophie that Randy was coming. Then Randy approached Sophie and they started talking. Kaira kept watch of the conversation. Randy had an idea for an X-Games/Burning man type event he had in mind. Sophie sat down with Randy.
"You know, my partners and I have just purchased this resort. Yeah, we're renovating it to be state of the art. You know, your little idea could be the perfect high profile event for the relaunch." Sophie said in her German accent.
"Damn straight." Randy said, laughing.
"Okay, good, good. Now ease him into the buy in." Nate said.
"Of course, you'd have to buy in to your little group." Sophie said.
"According to their records, they only have a couple hundred grand liquid. So, we're gonna have to just string him along. Don't push him too hard." Nate said.
"How about I just write you a check for 500,000 dollars?" Randy said.
Kaira got wide-eyed.
"Damn." Kaira commented.
"My partners would be delighted." Nate told Sophie.
"My partners and I would be delighted." Sophie said.
"Great. But I'll have to see the plans, talk to management." Randy said.
"Of course, you want to go now?" Sophie asked.
"Why not?" Randy answered.
"This is good. The sooner you're happy, the sooner you write that check. Shall we?" Sophie said, getting up.
"Yeah." Randy said, getting up.
"Okay, let's go steal us a mountain." Nate said.
Sophie walked with Randy and told him some of the plans. Eliot and Kaira made their way up to the office.
"Okay, Eliot, Kaira, you're up." Nate said.
Eliot and Kaira walked into the office.
"Hi. How are you?" Eliot said, shaking the guy's hand.
"Hi." Kaira said.
"Mike Rockman. Welcome to Powder Bear." Mike said.
"Vince Fetkey and Taylor Phillips - Innovative Resort Solutions. Just don't call us the I.R.S." Eliot said, causing a laugh as Eliot hit the guy in the shoulder.
"Okay, hang the lift." Nate ordered Hardison.
Eliot and Kaira distracted the guy by telling him about some plans as Parker unsuccessfully tried to sell that she was in danger.
"And unlike conventional fireplaces, these have marshmallow toasting rods already built-in and retractable." Eliot explained.
"Brand new." Kaira said, smiling.
Then Mike's cell phone rang. "Oh, excuse me for a second." Mike said.
He got the call about Parker hanging off the ski lift.
"Can you excuse me for just a minute?" Mike said, leaving.
"Yeah. Please, take your time." Kaira said.
Eliot and Kaira then got to work transforming the office so it looked like theirs. Kaira sat on Eliot's lap just as the door opened.
"Whoo-hee" Sophie said.
"Leena, oh." Eliot said in a German accent as Kaira got up and smiled.
"Leena!" Kaira exclaimed, in a German accent.
They spoke German a bit as they kissed cheeks and hugged.
"Oh, Hans, Anna, this is Randy Retzing. Yeah, he's thinking about joining our little group." Sophie said.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." Eliot said, going to shake his hand.
Randy then pulled him into a hug and lifting Eliot up a bit.
"Oh, come on, dude, are you ready to rock this?!" Randy exclaimed.
Kaira tried to keep a straight face as he pulled Kaira into a hug and kissed her cheek. They then sat down and looked at the plans. Hardison reported that Parker was okay.
"Of course, these are just the preliminaries." Eliot said.
"Awesome - just make sure to leave some room for hot tubs and the dance floor." Randy said.
Eliot spoke in German.
"Of course." Kaira said.
"So, uh, you can, uh, write that little check now, eh?" Sophie questioned.
"Hey, why can't they all be this easy?" Hardison asked.
Kaira tried to stay calm to not break cover because of Hardison's comment.
"Of course not. We have to go to Miami. My dad's the one who has to write the check." Randy said.
"Aw, hell, why do they all got to be this hard?" Hardison said, frustrated.
"Miami?" Sophie questioned.
"Well, not right away. Maybe do a little Tandem luge runs. Wear the helmet." Randy said to Sophie, flirting weirdly.
Eliot signaled for Sophie to go as she got a look on her face. Kaira just stood there, debating whether or not to go. Kaira just stayed as Sophie left with Randy. Kaira gave her a sympathetic look as they closed the door.
"Hardison, why couldn't you keep your mouth shut?!" Kaira exclaimed, quietly upset.
"What? Woman, it ain't my fault." Hardison said.
"Yeah, you jinxed it!" Kaira exclaimed.
She and Eliot cleaned up the office and did the blow-off with Mike and left. They traveled to Miami.
Sophie and Randy met with Henry as Randy introduced Sophie to his dad. He guessed she was French, which caused a groan from Kaira.
"Parker, get me some video." Nate ordered.
Parker, Kaira, and Eliot sneaked around the side to get to the room. Parker shushed the couple as they winced from the feedback in their comms. As they were getting the video set up, Nate winced.
"What's that?" Nate asked.
"It's weird. Parker." Hardison said. Eliot was scanning with Kaira.
"Signal's dirty here too." Parker reported.
"Are they jamming the signal?" Nate asked.
"No, the VHF output frequency is clean. For some reason, our transmission's just not getting to her." Hardison said.
"Well, that's just great." Kaira retorted.
"I think the interference is coming from inside the house." Eliot said.
"Eliot, I need you to plant a booster - the offices are on the second floor." Nate ordered.
Eliot stood firm as he boosted Parker up and then Kaira as the women shimmied to the offices.
"All right, guys, they're going to the second floor. Work fast. Let's go, let's go, let's go." Nate ordered.
Parker put in a USB in the laptop and planted the booster as Kaira looked around. She found mics in the room. They saw the shadows as Parker grabbed the USB. They leaped out the window. Kaira landed on Eliot as Parker rolled to cushion the fall.
"Unh! Damn it, Kaira!" Eliot exclaimed, still on the ground. Kaira had rolled over. Parker stood up.
"A little warning next time." Eliot growled.
"I'm sorry, cowboy." Kaira kissed his cheek as she rolled back over.
"How'd you even know I'd be there, Princess?" Eliot asked.
"I didn't. I just trusted that you would be there like you always are." Kaira smirked.
They got up and went to the car Nate and Hardison were in.
"Is it working?" Eliot asked.
They listened to the rest of the conversation Sophie and Dennis were having. Dennis apparently thought Sophie wanted to get into bed with Randy, which she shut down quickly, saying business-wise, she's open to opportunity. But personally, she said she preferred a man who knows what it means to be in control. Kaira gasped a bit at the unexpectedness of the words.
Just as Dennis handed the check over, he revealed some information. He revealed that they did the scam to more people than the Scott's.
"They've done this to more people than the Scott's." Eliot realized.
"Oh, yeah. Sophie find out how many." Nate ordered.
"And how big is your operation?" Sophie asked.
"Mmm, 400 homes, give or take." Dennis revealed.
"400?" Sophie questioned.
"Damn it." Kaira muttered.
"Yeah, all over the country - tornadoes in Oklahoma, Florida hurricanes. And Katrina was like hitting the damn lottery." Dennis revealed.
"All right, Sophie, do not take the check." Nate ordered.
"What?" Kaira, Eliot, and Parker exclaimed.
"Sorry, what?" Hardison exclaimed.
"I said do not take the money." Nate ordered again.
Eliot was not happy. Neither of them were happy. Sophie ripped the check.
"Now you tell him this." Nate said.
He told Sophie what to say.
"If what you're saying is you want to do real business, then I might have an opportunity for you, but it's for serious investors only. This is not something I would ever present to your brother." Sophie said.
"Interesting." Dennis said.
"What are you doing?" Eliot asked, upset.
"Forget about the money. No, we don't want the money. We're gonna take the company. We're gonna give each of these people back their own homes." Nate said.
"You made this decision when?" Eliot asked.
"All the pretty money." Parker jumped in.
"I don't have to run anything by you, Eliot." Nate argued.
"What, are you drunk?" Kaira asked.
"No, there's nothing I have-" Nate said.
Hardison tried to get their attention.
"Right now, are you drunk?" Eliot asked, upset.
"Shut up, shut up. Guys, the interference earlier - there's a signal coming from in there. Now the output frequency is around the 120 megahertz range, but the transmitter, the transmitter -" Hardison was explaining before Eliot cut him off.
"Just cut the geek." Eliot said, impatient.
"The house is bugged. Now, if I'm right, the equipment is standard issue law enforcement." Hardison answered.
The team groaned, not happy.
"Shit!" Kaira exclaimed.
"Yeah. Cops are listening." Nate said.
"Now what?" Kaira asked.
They met back up at the hotel. The team was arguing as Nate poured himself a drink.
"Hardison, where were you when it mattered? He asked me to tear up the check, so I tore up the check." Sophie argued.
"I didn't make the decision to throw away everybody else's money, okay?" Hardison argued over top of the team.
They argued still.
"Hey, listen, I don't like it. Cops mean too many variables." Eliot argued.
"Exactly." Kaira defended her boyfriend.
"And what are you gonna tell the Scotts. Nate, huh? How are we gonna explain to them that we - we - we tore up their future." Sophie questioned.
"We don't. Because Nate's got a plan. He always has a plan." Kaira commented, showing she wasn't happy.
"And who's gonna tell that guy we had a house for his baby boy and you just gave it away?" Hardison asked.
"You're always the one who's always telling us we're doing this for the client." Parker said.
"One client... many victims. We have a chance to represent those who couldn't ask for our help. And besides. we're going with a much bigger scam - one of the classics." Nate said.
"The London Spank?" Parker questioned.
"The Genevan Paso Doble." Hardison said.
"The Apple Pie." Eliot said.
The team looked at him.
"It's like the Cherry Pie, but with lifeguards." Eliot explained.
Kaira realized the con. "Glengarry Glen Death." Kaira realized.
Nate looked at Kaira proud, giving her a signal to explain it.
"It's like a mutual fund. Instead of stocks, you invest in death." Kaira explained.
Nate walked away, confirming the scam they were doing.
"I-is it me, or is he getting creepier?" Parker questioned.
"Definitely." Kaira said.
They went to bed and the next day, Nate met with Dennis and Sophie.
Nate got Dennis to take the deal. The only condition was that he gets to pick the doctor to determine whether or not the person was dying. Nate agreed and made the deal.
They went to the hospital and set the scam up. Parker was the patient, Kaira was a nurse, and Eliot was on standby.
"Why do I have to be the patient?" Parker asked Nate as she was laying down on the MRI table.
"Because he picked a woman's name." Nate said.
"And I can't play both parts." Sophie said.
"And I have to play the nurse." Kaira said.
"So you get the tumor." Nate said.
"Where have you been?" Sophie asked Nate.
Nate looked at her. Something was wrong with Nate, but Kaira couldn't figure it out.
"Everything okay?" Sophie asked.
"Fine." Nate said.
"Okay, people, hacking into the imaging computer is simple enough, but I've run some simulations, and I don't think I can ghost an image that'll pass a doctor's inspection." Hardison said, moving the curtains open to the window.
"Okay, well, can we give her a fake tumor, or..." Nate questioned.
"Well, we could inject her brain with some contrast dye, have it pull into her cranial cavity, but there might be some side effects." Hardison said.
Parker sat up.
"Like what?" Parker asked.
"Organ failure, death, death like symptoms." Hardison said.
"I vote for plan b." Parker said.
"You know, we could get another chamber, and then put a brain with a tumor in that one and then send the signal to the monitor for this chamber." Eliot suggested.
The team looked at him weird.
"Cross the wires." Eliot finished.
The team remained silent.
"What? I dated a neurologist." Eliot said.
Kaira gasped and smirked.
"And how in the hell did you get with a neurologist, cowboy?" Kaira questioned.
"Similar to how I got you." Eliot smirked at her.
Sophie stood up. "There's a machine in the next suite. I could tap that." Hardison said.
"Great. Now, all we have to do is find a brain with a tumor." Sophie said.
"Bolus of semi solid-fluid injected into one of the ventricles - that should do it. Man, we need some hot wax. Oh, and a cadaver." Hardison said.
"Okay. Let's get to work." Nate ordered.
"Whoa, you're not - you're not seriously thinking about -" Hardison objected.
"Yeah, what we need to do is, we need to secure this chamber and, uh, the one next to it, have to make sure the comms work with the magnetic interference, set up a meeting with the Retzings. Somebody find me a brain." Nate ordered and left.
"Oh yeah. He's definitely getting creepier." Parker said.
The gang got to work getting the chamber set up.
"Uh, Hardison, are we, uh, are we ready?" Nate asked quietly.
"Just call me the scarecrow. I'm ready to rock. Now, if I only had a brain." Hardison reported.
"Eliot, Kaira?" Nate got their attention.
"Yeah, almost there." Eliot answered.
"Did you, uh, get the -" Nate questioned.
"Yep." Kaira answered.
"Where?" Nate asked.
"You really want to know?" Eliot asked.
"No, not really. No." Nate said.
The couple pushed the gurney to the room.
"Sophie, is the patient ready?" Nate asked quietly again.
"She's at death's door." Sophie said.
"Oh, this is fun. Hey, do you need a minute to prepare? You know, death scenes can be demanding. I remember this time I was playing Camille in Summer Stock, and, oof, I was drained after every performance." Sophie said, getting too into the idea.
"Don't I just make-believe I'm dying?" Parker questioned.
"Okay, you need to own the space and - and - access your sense memory. Here, try this. Think of, um, a really sad thing that's happened in your life, like, I don't know, when your father died." Sophie suggested.
Parker then laughed as Kaira's jaw dropped.
"Yeah. This isn't gonna be easy." Sophie said.
"Parker just stay calm, and you'll be fine." Kaira suggested.
As Nate was buying a little time, Kaira helped the boys prepare the brain. Hardison got a syringe ready of fluid to eject in the brain. He handed it to Eliot. He just held it and tried giving it back.
"What?" Eliot questioned.
"You." Hardison said.
"Go." Eliot said.
"Go? What you mean, go?" Hardison questioned.
"Cause it was your idea." Eliot argued.
"No, no, no, no, I-it's my information. It's Nate's idea to do this nastiness." Hardison argued back, disgusted.
"Rock-paper-scissors?" Eliot suggested.
Eliot stabbed the brain with his finger, making a squishy sound and started rock paper scissors with Hardison. Eliot won.
"Well, I'll be damned. How'd you do that?" Hardison asked.
Eliot handed the syringe to Hardison.
"You got a tell." Eliot told him.
"I have a tell?" Hardison questioned.
"Yeah." Eliot confirmed.
"In rock-paper-scissors?" Hardison questioned.
"Yeah. Go." Eliot said, impatient.
Hardison was hesitant to do it. He stabbed the brain lightly.
"You're gonna go all the way through the head." Eliot said.
"Damn. That's my bad." Hardison said, trying to get out of it.
Kaira snatched the syringe from him.
"Give me that." Kaira said.
She stabbed the syringe in and ejected the dye. She pulled the syringe out and sat it down to the side.
"Damn, woman." Hardison said, disgusted and grossed out.
Eliot just stood in shock. They got ready for the scan.
Kaira and Eliot helped Parker into the chamber and Dennis commented about how Parker looked dead. After the scan happened, the quartet met in the room as Nate and Sophie closed the deal. Nate faked a call about a big deal he had.
"Well, mother of three in Chicago won't be finishing her bucket list. Perfect timing, I've been eyeing this Lexus." Nate said.
"What is he doing?" Eliot asked.
"Nathan don't you dare." Kaira warned.
"So, where's my cut?" Dennis asked.
"Your what?" Nate questioned.
"I gave you ten grand. I want my take." Dennis said.
"Oh, no. I'm sorry. No, that was a holding fee. You're not in." Nate explained.
"The hell I'm not. I want my money." Dennis said.
"Well, okay. First stage investor. Payout bonus kind of thing. 100,000 dollars?" Nate said.
"What is he doing?!" Parker exclaimed, getting up and leaving.
"Oh hell no!" Kaira exclaimed, getting up with Eliot to stop Parker.
Parker ran out into the hall and Eliot picked her up and they walked back to the room. Dennis said he had to move some accounts around and Nate freaked out and did the blow-off, but had Dennis keep the money.
They met back up at the hotel.
"I'll stop payment on the check. Just give me a few seconds." Hardison said.
"Just let it go, will you?" Nate said.
"Now, let me get something straight. We had half a million for our clients, and we didn't take it. Now we've given the mark 100 grand of our money - my money." Parker said, upset.
"The basic stall." Nate said.
"Stall is for when you've got someone on the hook." Parker said.
"What about Papa Bear, okay? Dennis can't take a leak without Henry signing off for it. How's he supposed to get us that money?" Hardison questioned.
"Guys, you got to trust me, all right? You've trusted me before and with your life." Nate argued.
Eliot slammed the table him and Kaira were sitting at.
"Not when you're drunk!" Eliot growled.
Nate laughed. "Oh, come on." Nate said.
"Nathan, you're not in control of yourself." Kaira said, standing up.
"So, what, you're gonna control me? Is that it?" Nate questioned.
"I ain't your mom and Eliot ain't your daddy. You can drink all you want, but if you drag me and Eliot down with you, then it's our problem." Kaira argued.
"You know, you talk too much. You ought to just go skip some rope." Nate said.
"What?" Eliot said.
"Yeah, go skip some rope." Nate said.
Eliot jumped out of his seat. Kaira got in front of him and told him to cool it.
"You want me to skip something? I'll skip your drunk ass off this marble floor." Eliot said, pissed.
Kaira kept him off of Nate as Sophie stood up.
"Okay, okay, I need to, um, speak to Nate alone." Sophie said.
"Yeah, you do that." Eliot said, leaving.
The rest of the team followed.
"We're going for a walk." Kaira all but ordered Eliot.
She grabbed his hand and walked to the main entrance.
"Kaira, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at Nate like that." Eliot stopped Kaira during their walk.
"It's okay. If it wasn't you, it would've been me." Kaira said.
They continued walking for a while, staying silent. They went back to their room and got changed for bed.
"Thanks, Kaira for keeping me in line earlier." Eliot said.
"Of course, cowboy. That's my job, ain't it?" Kaira smiled.
Eliot kissed her goodnight.
The next day, they got ready. Dennis called Nate and was willing to send in five million dollars. Eliot, Hardison, Kaira, and Parker were at the bank. Eliot answered his phone. He and Kaira acted like a couple getting a bank account opened.
"We're still at the Retzings' bank. We have an issue." Eliot told him.
In one of the booths was Henry and Randy Retzing. Hardison was doing his thing and Kaira and Eliot smashed the window of his Hummer. Then Nate and Dennis arrived. Then the brothers started arguing and fighting.
"Uh, everybody out now." Nate ordered.
Eliot and Kaira walked out hand in hand as Hardison followed.
It was after they met back up that it was revealed that Hardison hacked a printer and tricked Randy to signing away controlling interest in the company. Nate also used Dennis to set up Henry to move money offshore to get a Rico charge to stick after his deal with the state police. Nate called Dennis to taunt him and met up later with the team.
A couple of days went by after Dennis was forced to move out of his house. Dennis was good with the books, declaring his home a corporate asset, which was taken away because Nate had controlling interest in the company now. The team met with the Scott's and gave them the keys. Nate walked out of the house.
"Yeah, it's a little bigger than the old place, but... I hope it'll do." Nate told the family, throwing the keys to the man.
Eliot and Kaira kept watch. Kaira was smiling as the clients hugged and cried. Hardison was also crying.
"Are you crying?" Parker asked.
"Sup? No, no, it's the Florida air. Pollen." Hardison said, trying to stop crying.
Eliot and Kaira congratulated the new homeowners. Nate was talking with Sophie. This one felt good to finish for Kaira. The team went home and waited for the next job.