Seto Kaiba should not be allowed to move like that.
Or at least, not in Atem's presence. The pharaoh drummed his fingers on his glass of Scotch, wishing it were a vodka soda and that he hadn't taken the suggestion of the man across the room to whom his eyes were currently glued. Kaiba talked easily to some of the up-and-coming duelists in the corner of the party (tournament host's duty, he supposed), but Atem's breath was still bated from when his tall so-called rival had bent to pick up drinks from a table and handed them around to the young competitors with a flourish. And his eyes were still fixed on Kaiba's ass.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Atem jumped, his blood running cold and half his Scotch sloshing onto his hands. Well, at least that was half he didn't have to drink. He heard a kind giggle come from the source of his scare, Yugi, giving him a gentle-yet-knowing look. It was not unlike the look Atem had seen on his face when they'd try to duel since he'd gotten his own body, and Yugi knew exactly the move Atem was about to make. They may be physically separated now, but they'd always have a bond.
Yugi was kind enough to let Atem pretend he hadn't just lept a foot in the air. Regaining his composure somewhat, the pharaoh innocently replied, "Talk about what?"
Yugi smiled softly and said nothing, just pointed his chin in the direction of Kaiba. Atem's gaze followed the nod without his permission, his eyes always too eager to land on the CEO. He half-smiled without thinking, but quickly caught himself. He still didn't meet Yugi's eyes, both because he knew his partner would see through him and because, well, he liked the view he had. He sipped his drink and this time didn't flinch at the taste. It was growing on him.
"I don't think there's much to talk about," he said. "There's certainly nothing to do about it, at least." He finally glanced back at his partner. The mischief that had been in Yugi's eyes a moment ago had been replaced with something warmer, something like understanding.
"Are you sure?"
Atem supposed he shouldn't be surprised that his best friend had figured it out. Having once shared a brain, it was essentially impossible to keep secrets from each other. And Atem understood that Yugi was in no way making fun of his crush - he really wanted to help.
The pharaoh sighed. "He doesn't know I'm gay, and I have no idea what his sexuality is. Even if he were interested in men, with our history I doubt he'd be interested in me. And on top of it all, he's Seto Kaiba, so talking about feelings is not really something you do with him. It's a big deal that we've gotten to a point where we're friends. Trying to talk about romantic interests might be pushing it." Atem said all of this almost robotically, repeating the same thing he'd told himself in his head hundreds of times.
"How long have you felt this way?" Yugi's voice was tinged with a bit of sadness now. Atem knew he was starting to understand that this wasn't just a little crush. Starting to understand the extent to which Atem had - he hated to admit it, but there was no other word for it - been pining for his former rival.
Well, maybe there was another word for it. But that was one word Atem barely let himself think, let alone say aloud.
He looked back down at his drink, which was now almost empty. Why did he suddenly want more? "A while." He felt Yugi's eyes still fixed upon him, awaiting a better answer, and he confessed, "Almost a year now."
His friend took a minute to process his surprise before saying, "Atem, I had no idea. I can't believe it took me this long to realize!" Yugi moved closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder, and Atem met his eyes. "I'm usually much faster at figuring things out...I'm sorry. Everyone always romanticizes having a crush as, like, the best feeling ever, but in my experience, sometimes not knowing how someone feels about you is basically torture! And I can only imagine the added pressure of having to come out to him to find out."
Atem was touched by Yugi's earnestness, but he couldn't help but smile. "You really didn't know how your crush felt about you? Really? You and Tea were more obvious than setting a trap card on the first turn."
Yugi blushed and opened his mouth to respond, but, as if their conversation had summoned her, Tea appeared at just that moment, carefully holding two drinks so as not to spill on the perfectly fitted, pink one-shoulder minidress she was sporting. She leaned on her much shorter boyfriend's shoulder and handed him a glass of wine.
"What's up, guys?" the brunette said cheerily, then, after looking at both of the boys' faces, "Oh, sorry! Did I interrupt something?"
Atem and Yugi exchanged a look and Atem shrugged, saying "You can tell her. I don't know how I'd put it into words, anyway." It was true. Hearing Yugi explain the facts he had intuited from Atem's vague answers was better than trying to explain it himself. What would he have said? "I have a crush on Kaiba?" Too childish. "I like Kaiba?" Not enough. "I'm in l…." No, he couldn't go there.
"Atem has feelings for Kaiba." Leave it to Yugi to say just the right thing. Yes. Feelings. But there was no need to define exactly what those feelings were.
"What?!" Tea looked from her boyfriend to Atem, who nodded. Yugi proceeded to explain the other things Atem had told him, and again, Atem was grateful. Since Yugi and Tea had gotten together (and honestly, even before) it was always the case that anything Atem told Yugi, Tea knew too. Atem liked it that way; they were his two best friends, after all, and he trusted them both with his life. Not telling them his feelings before had nothing to do with trust and more to do with the fact that saying his feelings for Kaiba out loud meant they were real and therefore harder to get rid of. He knew Yugi and Tea would be supportive. The two of them, along with Grandpa and Yugi's parents, were the only people he was out to, and they'd been amazing when he'd told them he was gay. He'd never been totally honest about why he didn't come out to the rest of the group, who they all knew would be just as supportive. He supposed he could now, finally, tell them the truth - that being out to their other friends meant Kaiba finding out. Which was one step closer to Kaiba figuring out Atem was in...whatever he was with him. Ugh. The whole situation made Atem feel like he was being cowardly, a feeling he was not at all used to.
It was Tea's turn to come over and put her hand on Atem's shoulder. It never ceased to amaze Atem how alike she and Yugi were - true soulmates. "I had no idea, Atem. I'm not gonna lie, that's rough. And I totally get you wanting to keep it to yourself. But…" she glanced back at Yugi for a moment, who nodded in agreement and encouragement. "Do you think it might be worth the risk?"
Atem looked at her and didn't say anything for a moment. He didn't know why, but hearing his friends say it made it seem more possible. He took risks in every game he played, and he'd taken risks as king. Why was this a risk he couldn't take? He was still unsure, but as usual, his friends were making things better.
He gave a small smile. "I'll think about it." He meant it.
Yugi chimed in, "It's up to you, pal. But I think it has to be better than watching him from across the room and trying not to blush when he hands you a drink."
"You saw that?!" Atem yelped embarrassedly.
"Oh hell yeah. I don't think anyone but me would have noticed, but you were definitely blushing when he passed you that Scotch."
Tea giggled. "Atem, you hate Scotch!"
"Listen," Atem said, breaking into a full grin now, "He was three inches away from me and looking me right in the eyes. He probably could have handed me gasoline and I would have taken a sip." As his friends laughed, he added, "And you know what, I don't think I hate Scotch anymore! It was actually kind of good!"
"Uh huh," Tea said between chuckles. "Let's go get you another, then."
As he finished his conversation with the guest duelists, Seto Kaiba glanced across the room and his eyes lingered on a particular sight. It was the pharaoh, laughing with Yugi and Tea before turning on the heel of his embellished boot and walking back towards the bar with them, with that kingly strut of his extra pronounced in his pieced leather pants. Kaiba suppressed a small smile.
Atem Muto should not be allowed to move like that.