Chloe's Questions
Former LAPD Homicide Detective Chloe Decker was in a reflective mood as she sipped at a cup of coffee and waited for Lucifer to get out the shower. He'd invited her to join him, but she'd declined with a laugh. She knew how that would go. A quick shower would turn into a marathon love-making session. While she had no objections to such a fun (and usually memorable) event, she'd said no this time. After all, they'd finished a marathon love-making session just a couple of hours ago. She needed a breather.
Her mind was busy with thoughts while she waited for him: so many thoughts, so many unanswered questions. She had too many tabs open in her brain and she couldn't process everything: the questions just got in the way.
The thing was, she had more answers to more questions than probably anybody else in history. Yet the questions just kept coming.
She knew, for instance, that Heaven and Hell were real places. She'd actually been to Heaven—briefly, to be sure. But she remembered Heaven vividly. She had no doubts anymore on that issue. And she knew that angels and demons were also real. She'd met some of them.
She'd killed some of them, too.
She'd met God and she'd met Satan. Who else could say that? Almost nobody. At least, nobody human—except for Linda, of course. Lucifer's therapist. So: she was one of two. Well, three. But Dan was dead. So: two.
Other people might have met them, but they didn't know who they were—not like Chloe and Linda did. Chloe shook her head ruefully at the way she'd treated God when she'd met him. She'd reamed him a new one—respectfully, of course. As one did when telling God that he'd made some mistakes. He'd taken it extremely well, for an all-powerful deity that had a reputation for having anger issues.
Then God had left the scene. "Retired," they'd said. And that opened the way for a competition to replace him. One that had turned a bit bloody and cost her life. Which she had gotten back. But still …
So, yeah. She could probably do a podcast or three on the topic of "Heaven, Hell, and the Celestials Who Populate Them." She could tell everybody the truth. She could tell everybody how to avoid Hell and get into Heaven. But then what? Who would even believe her? To be honest, half the people—the crazy ones—would believe her, but the other half would call for her head. Yeah, that wouldn't work out so well for her.
And what about her teenage daughter, Trixie? What would Trixie think? And how would she deal with a mom who claimed to have some kind of religious insight?
Chloe shook her head. Nope. No way. That wasn't going to happen, ever. People were just going to have to remain ignorant about what lay in store for them after death.
She knew so many answers to questions that had vexed mankind for centuries, but she couldn't tell anybody.
She wondered if Linda felt this conflict, this pressure to tell everybody the celestial truth. Maybe not. Linda was used to keeping patient confidences.
Chloe knew the answers to so many important questions! Yet she was haunted by the questions to which she didn't have the answers. Knowing all the answers didn't give her peace; it just made her focus on what she didn't know, what she didn't understand.
Such as, what am I now, to Lucifer? Partners, once. Friends. Friends who flirted and kissed. Friends who fought. Friends who had each other's back. Friends who turned their backs on each other and walked away. Friends with benefits. Lovers. It had been a five-year roller-coaster of a relationship. He'd hurt her more than once, deeply hurt her. And she'd hurt him as well. There had been others along the way—another man for her, and many upon many men and women for him. If she were honest with herself—as she tried to be, because if she lied to herself then how could she spot the liars in the interrogation room—Pierce had been a big mistake.
A terrible, dangerous, mistake.
Marcus Pierce, or Cain, or The Sinnerman. Whatever he'd been called. Big mistake. And it had nearly cost her everything. What was I thinking? Stupid, stupid decision.
She wondered if Lucifer felt that way about his other flings. She suspected not so much. First of all, he tended not to be super self-reflective. Oh, he figured it out, eventually, but it took a long time for him. Second, he didn't handle regret or guilt very well. His first instinct was to deny, then to play it off with a lame joke.
What did he think about his quickie marriage to that stripper, Candy? Did he regret that decision, or the pain he had put her through when he'd showed up out of nowhere with a new wife? Did he consider the two-week marriage to have been a mistake? She didn't know. Another unanswered question.
Which brought her back to the question she needed to answer: What am I now, to Lucifer?
They weren't partners anymore. She had resigned from LAPD. No job, no partnership. He'd called her his "consultant," but that wasn't really right, because she didn't do any consulting. They didn't have any cases to pursue so what could she do? What was her contribution, now that the cases were done and Lucifer was set to ascend to the throne, or whatever it was called, of Heaven?
When he was in Heaven, where would she be? Stuck on Earth, a single mom with no visible means of support, taking care of Trixie? Getting older while her … whatever he was … was a million miles or a dimension away. Never changing, always looking the same and with the cares of billions of souls to occupy him.
Her former husband, Dan, had put work first and it had destroyed their marriage. What would her relationship with Lucifer be when he was in Heaven, ruling all of creation?
What is my relationship with him? Will it survive all these changes?
Forget naming the relationship! Whatever it was called, it was real. She loved him and he loved her. Two people, each with baggage, had committed to each other. But let's be honest, his baggage is about three millennia heavier than mine. She would always have to be the one to make the relationship work, because he didn't know how to. Still, love was the foundation of whatever they had. Whatever you wanted to call it. That was a good start.
Lucifer didn't know relationships because he had never had one. Not really. He'd had quickies: one-night stands and weekends. Sure, there were a couple of exceptions—Candy had lasted about two weeks and Eve had lasted almost two months—but his focus had always been on the physical, not the emotional. So now she had to teach him about the emotional side of a relationship. In so many ways, he's just a child. She had to be patient with him as he learned.
Back to the question at hand. Not partners. Certainly not just friends. What are we?
Chloe Decker, human. Widow. Single mom. Lucifer Morningstar, fallen angel about to ascend to … everything, really. Everything, everywhere. The most unlikely couple in the history of ever.
What are we?
What will we become?
Chloe looked down at the ring on her finger. Lucifer had placed the ring on that finger, and she'd accepted it. They hadn't discussed it; there'd been no time. It was a big deal, she knew that. Lucifer had worn that ring all the time, for years. It meant something to him.
Now she wore it on the ring finger of her left hand. Like a marriage band.
What did it mean?
Were they engaged? Were they married by the unwritten rules of the celestial world? Who knew?
She might have had a better understanding if it had been a diamond. A diamond had a meaning she could easily understand. But the stone was black, like onyx. Was a black stone like a diamond for the devil? She had no idea.
It bothered her, this not knowing.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a phone call. She looked down—it was Ella!
They hadn't spoken in weeks. She hadn't been avoiding Ella, not exactly. But she hadn't reached out, either. What could she tell her friend about … everything? So much had happened! So many changes were happening. Ella would want to know everything, and Chloe didn't know what she would say to her.
Chloe didn't know what she could say to Ella. Ella was the most religious person Chloe knew, and she'd be upset—to say the least—if Chloe told her the truth. The truth about Lucifer and the truth about everything that had happened in the past few weeks. But she didn't want to lie to her friend.
Now Ella was calling her. They were going to talk. Ella would have questions and would expect answers. After all, they were friends, right? Friends shared.
The problem was that Chloe had too many unanswered questions of her own.