Kaira was still recovering from the events of the wedding. Kaira got up and was looking out the breakfast nook, coffee mug in hand. She then felt the familiar arms wrap around her body, and a kiss on her cheek.
"Hey, babe." Kaira smiled at her husband.
She was still getting used to calling Eliot her husband.
"Morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling?" Eliot asked his wife.
He couldn't get enough of calling her his wife.
"Not great, but okay." Kaira answered honestly.
Eliot sat down and turned his wife to face him.
"What's wrong?" Eliot asked Kaira.
"I remember the wedding and going home, and then opening the wine and whiskey and then nothing except the feeling of guilt and being pissed. I hated that I lost control like that." Kaira answered, setting down her coffee mug on the table and placing a hand on Eliot's shoulder.
"For the record, nothing bad happened." Eliot said, hoping to cheer up his wife.
"Thanks for the effort, baby. I love you for trying, but I still feel ashamed for what I did." Kaira said, huffing a bit.
"Kaira, we all have bad days. There's no shame in having bad days." Eliot said, still trying to cheer up Kaira.
"Yeah. Except my bad days don't involve me having my mother slash mentor tell me she's leaving to go on this journey of self-discovery at the end of my wedding, then me getting shit-faced on wine and whiskey. I usually just punch a punching bag and I feel better. This time it didn't work." Kaira said, still ashamed.
Eliot pulled Kaira into a hug.
"I'm sorry. I wish I could explain what Sophie did, but I can't. Just know, my amazing wife, that I still love you and don't regret a single thing with you." Eliot said.
Kaira started tearing up some, hugging Eliot still.
"Thank you." Kaira all but whispered as she tried to calm down.
Eliot hummed slightly in acknowledgment as Kaira let go to grab her coffee mug again. She took a sip.
"I guess I was pissed that I couldn't convince Sophie to stay. I keep telling myself if I just spoke up and told her not to leave, and that we knew who she was, she would've stayed." Kaira answered.
Eliot placed his hands on Kaira's shoulders.
"Nothing would've stopped Sophie, Kaira. Don't beat yourself up over it." Eliot said.
Kaira smiled at her husband.
"Thanks, Cowboy." Kaira said.
"You're welcome, Princess." Eliot said.
Eliot pulled Kaira into a kiss, grabbing her face and pulling it towards his. Kaira closed her eyes, enjoying the moment. Just then, both of their phones went off. Kaira chuckled as she and Eliot looked to see what caused the phones to go off. It was a message from Hardison, saying for them to go in, as they had another job. Kaira was excited.
The client was Joey Cospito, a cop who was doing a side job as an armored car driver and was shot during a robbery that was an inside job. Joey had been suspended without pay and the medical bills were piling up. The investigators aren't investigating, and Joey is going to take the fall for the robbery if the team didn't help.
She placed her cup in the sink and walked over to Nate's apartment.
They walked in and sat down on the couch opposite of Nate, adjacent from Parker, as Hardison was setting up the presentation. Nate looked at the newlyweds, who were holding hands and leaning on each other on the couch.
"You guys never went on a honeymoon." Nate realized.
Kaira and Eliot chuckled, looking at each other.
"No, we didn't." Eliot said, looking at Kaira.
"What's the fun in a honeymoon when you steal things for a living?" Kaira smirked as Hardison signaled he was ready.
Nate smiled at the couple, then looked at Hardison.
"Jim Kerrity the Third - he took over Kerrity Diamonds four years ago after his old man retired." Hardison was explaining when Parker kept moving during his presentation, fidgeting and getting pushed by Eliot and getting looks from Nate.
"And in that small amount of time, he managed to drive the business straight into the ground by living way beyond his means. I'm talking drugs, booze, women. According to his credit cards, same as - what? What? What? Why? What? What are you doing? What? What?" Hardison questioned, finally having enough of Parkers fidgeting.
"What?" Parker jumped Hardison.
"It's distracting." Eliot said, growling a bit in annoyance at Parker.
"Well, the couch is just feeling a little empty." Parker said.
"Eliot, will you please sit next to Parker?" Nate asked Eliot, trying to settle things.
"No. I'm sitting here with my wife." Eliot argued, putting his arm around Kaira, causing her to smile.
Kaira stood up.
"Fine, I'll move." Kaira stood up, but was pulled back by Eliot, causing a yip out of Kaira's mouth and then a chuckle.
"Fine then." Kaira smirked, amused.
"Guys, guys, all right. We all miss Sophie. We just have to adapt." Nate said.
Then Hardison walked to the couch.
"I got this. Move. Go. Bye." Hardison said as he motioned for Parker to scootch over on the couch so he could sit in between Nate and Parker.
He sat down.
"You happy?" Hardison asked Parker, annoyed.
Hardison started typing on his keyboard to pull up more information.
"Now, Kerrity's finances are a mess - maxed out, maxed out, overdrawn. According to the insurance claim, he stands to gain nine million from the armored-car robbery." Hardison explained, pulling up the finances of Kerrity.
"You know, a guy like this, he gets in over his head, and his insurance policy starts to look pretty attractive." Nate said.
"Hires a couple of thugs, knocks off his own truck." Eliot continued.
"It's a sweet payout, too. He gets the insurance claim, plus he still has the diamonds." Hardison observed.
"Mm-hmm, and honest people like Joey take the hit." Eliot pointed out.
"You know, the thing about this most don't people don't understand is insurance fraud - it's a lot of red tape. I mean, a big claim like this - it'll take about a year before Kerrity sees any of the money." Nate said before Kaira interrupted.
"The bill collectors aren't gonna wait a year. Kerrity has to fence the diamonds." Kaira pointed out.
"He can't." Parker said, grabbing the remote from Hardison, and pulling up the diamonds.
"What do you mean?" Eliot asked.
"His diamonds are GIA-certified, VVS clarity, all about two carats." Parker explained.
Hardison looked at Parker.
"That's my clicker." Hardison said.
Parker looked at Hardison.
"Who stole the Polar star? Who stole the Gem of Gibraltar? Damiani raid? Me. I know diamonds." Parker said.
Kaira looked at Parker.
"So do I, Parker. Remember, I am a thief too. I've stolen diamonds before." Kaira pointed out.
Parker looked at her weirdly.
"Good point." Parker sat up.
"Point is, Kerrity can't fence those diamonds because stones that size have an I.D number laser-inscribed on them." Kaira explained as Parker clicked the remote.
"Oh, so it's like a stolen car. You got to clean the VIN before you can sell them." Eliot observed.
"Exactly, baby." Kaira looked at Eliot.
"How do you get that I.D number off?" Nate asked.
"With a special laser, but only three guys can do it-" Parker answered before Kaira cut her off.
"Antwerp, Dubai, Tel Aviv." Kaira said.
Nate stood up.
"And as of now, Boston, right?" Nate went up by the screen.
"I mean, Kerrity has to move his diamonds, so we convince him that we're the only people who can make them clean enough to move." Nate explained the plan.
"Get them to bring the diamonds to us." Hardison clarified.
"And when he shows up - oh, Hardison, can you put up the crime-scene photos..." Nate said.
Hardison grabbed the remote from Parker and pulled up the crime scene photos, where the detective was interviewing Joey as he was being tended for gunshot wounds.
"State police guy, Lieutenant Bonanno." Eliot realized.
"The cop from the O'Hare job." Kaira pointed out.
"Yeah, so we drop Kerrity on his lap with the stolen diamonds. Lieutenant Bonanno drops the hammer. Our guy gets cleared, gets his job back." Nate explained the plan, which was simple in principle.
"Pardon me, but I don't mean to stop the fun train - we're out a grifter here." Eliot pointed out.
"I know who we can call." Parker said, raising her hand.
"No. We're not gonna call Sophie. No. She has asked for space, and we're gonna honor that. No. Hardison, Kaira, you're gonna be our grifters." Nate said.
Hardison got a smile on his face as Eliot spot up in his seat.
"I'm listening." Hardison said.
"What? No, no, no." Eliot said.
"Parker, you'll be the roper." Nate said.
"What?" Parker questioned, not looking forward to this.
"Cute dress, heels - you'll be fine." Nate said.
"Sure. I'll be fine." Parker said.
"Eliot, you be the muscle." Nate explained as Kaira caught Parker thinking.
Kaira knew Parker was thinking about all the times Parker ended up hurting her mark. Nate tried get her attention as Parker came out of her daze.
"Yeah. I'll be fine." Parker said. Parker left as Nate and Hardison got the covers ready.
Later that night, they got ready. They went to a club Kerrity was gonna be at. Kaira sat with Nate, drinking coffee and whiskey, eyeing Parker in her medium blue short dress with a low neckline, and a necklace the had a big pink stone Kaira recognized as the Rosalind Diamond. Kaira was wearing a red and orange dress that blended to look like fire almost. Kaira was also wearing a bright red wig that was down in loose waves and showed her face well, and of course, her favorite lipstick as it drove Eliot crazy and a ruby necklace.
"Kerrity's at the bar - gold Rolex, purple tie." Nate reported to Parker.
Parker walked a bit then stopped.
"Say nothing. Trust the diamond." Parker continued walking to the bar.
"Say nothing and trust the diamond." Parker repeated.
Kaira could almost hear Sophie's voice giving her the same advice.
"Parker what are you saying?" Nate asked.
"Nothing. And trusting the diamond." Parker said.
She sat down next to Kerrity, who of course, in typical male fashion, looked at her bombs.
"I'll have an appletini." Parker told the bartender.
"They make them strong here." Kerrity told Parker.
"Oh, do they?" Parker said to Kerrity, giving a slight smile.
Kerrity still looked at Parker's chest but eyed the diamond on her necklace.
"Is that an Australian Pink Diamond? Is that the Rosalind?" Kerrity asked, inhaling and setting his glass down.
"That's an impressive, uh, replica." Kerrity said.
Kaira snickered, hearing Sophie's words of trusting the diamond and saying nothing. Kaira noted it for later.
"It's the original." Parker informed Kerrity.
He inhaled again, impressed.
"I'll have to take your word for it. I have people who certify these things for me." Kerrity said.
Parker was silent for a moment.
"Do you want to take a closer..." Kaira cued Parker when she spoke.
"You want a closer look?" Parker asked Kerrity.
"Kerrity looked at Parker, then fingered the necklace, which was close to Parker's boobs.
"No stabbing, Parker." Nate warned.
"This is a very famous diamond. How did you get it?" Kerrity asked.
"It was a gift from my boyfriend." Parker said.
Kerrity didn't even bat an eye at the idea of Parker having a boyfriend.
"Ah." Kerrity said.
"He works in diamonds." Parker said.
Kerrity let go of the necklace.
"So do I, and I would love to talk shop with the man who managed to get his hands on the, uh... the Rosalind Diamond." Kerrity said.
Parker walked away to have Kerrity follow him as Kaira downed her whiskey and followed. Parker arrived first, following behind.
Hardison was wearing a red shirt with black cracking on it and black pants with gold on them. Eliot was wearing a black t-shirt and pants, with a blue string necklace. Kaira watched as Hardison saw Parker and Kerrity approach. Hardison stopped taking his shot as Eliot held his pool stick.
"No. N-" Hardison spoke in a British accent as he slammed his pool stick down.
"Come here. What have I said? What have I said about new people? Huh?" Hardison said to Parker as she walked to him and Eliot grabbed Kerrity's wrist and pushed him to the table and held his neck.
"Hey, it's okay. This guy works in diamonds. He wants to talk business or something." Parker said, calming the boys down.
Kaira kept walking.
"All right. Lay the arms down, brother. He's cool." Hardison ordered as Eliot let go of the guy.
"You'll have to excuse my bodyguard. He's touchy. It's 'cause he's a mute, all right?" Hardison said as Kaira jumped in, sensing the look Eliot was giving him.
"Oi! What the hell, you wanker! What's with the ruckus?" Kaira exclaimed at Hardison as she revealed herself.
They turned to her and Kerrity and Eliot both looked her up and down.
"It's cool. Your husband just got a little touchy with our guest." Hardison explained as Kaira walked to Eliot.
"I apologize. Sometimes my mate here doesn't know when to cut the theatrics. And I apologize for the rude introduction by my husband. He is a mute after all." Kaira said, putting her arm around Eliot and leaning on him.
"Yeah, well, my bodyguards don't talk much either." Kerrity said, with his team revealing himself.
Kaira silently told her team to stay calm.
"Well, looks like we found our armored-car robbers." Nate said in the comms.
Kaira had to make a plan to calm everyone down. Eliot then turned around and punched one goon in the stomach, then the face, knocking him down. The lead goon pulled out his gun, then Eliot blocked a punch from the other goon, then hit him in the face then put him in a hold. The lead goon pointed the gun at them.
"Gonna shoot through your own mate, then?" Hardison said as choking sounds came from the goon.
"To be honest with you, I never liked him." The lead goon said in a Russian accent.
"Legit. Goon squad and all, innit? Stand down." Hardison said, looking at Eliot.
He didn't let go.
"Alright, that's enough all of you." Kaira threatened.
Eliot let go, pushing the goon away.
"Jim Kerrity." Kerrity finally revealed.
"You're Jim Kerrity - Kerrity Diamonds?" Hardison started chuckling in character.
"Oh, no. Brother, you got hit hard last week." Hardison said.
"The heist, yes. That was me." Kerrity revealed, cocky.
"So, did you use the Romanovs back there or just hire out?" Hardison asked.
Kaira glared at him, though no one saw her.
"I'm in the business, Jimmy Boy. I can smell an inside job." Hardison revealed.
Kaira reminded herself to threaten Hardison later for the theatrics.
"So, what do you do in the business, Mister..." Kerrity said.
"We're thieves. They call me the Iceman. And they call her Fire Girl." Hardison said, introducing him and Kaira.
Kaira was definitely gonna threaten Hardison later. Eliot was too, signaled by his turning.
"Iceman and Fire Girl? No, Hardison, you have to have to, uh, have a light touch. Undersell." Nate told Hardison.
"What kind of thieves call themselves thieves?" Kerrity asked.
"Uncatchable ones with a brilliant reputation. You've seen our work in Perth. The Polar star? Nicked it. The Gen of Gibraltar? Nicked it. The Damiani raid? Distraction while I nicked everything in the vault next door. Big stones, trust me." Hardison started with both Kaira, Parker, and Eliot knowing he went to far.
"That's enough, mate." Kaira ordered Hardison.
"I'm sorry. Bit of a narcissist my mate is. He doesn't know subtlety. I however don't brag about my work. Ironic, I know, given the hair and the dress, but that's what makes it subtle." Kaira pointed out, walking out and seeing Parker pace and drinking champagne to cool herself off.
"Yeah, well, then, I shouldn't be seen talking to you." Kerrity said, surprised about how blunt Hardison was.
"Right, right, right, cause two criminals can't talk business while shooting pool. Bitch of it is, nicking them's butter - moving them's the pain." Hardison said.
"Yes, especially with those inscribed I.D numbers." Kerrity said.
Kaira was surprised that Kerrity didn't run yet. She came back in with a martini. She stood by Eliot and watched.
"No, no, no, no. I got this laser, see? Only one in the country mind you. This thing I had to bring over piece by sodding piece from Turkmenistan." Hardison said.
"Yes, but who put the damn thing together? And who tried to help me but was bitching the whole time?" Kaira retorted, getting part of her anger at Hardison out.
Hardison glared at her, but kept cover.
"It can scrub an I.D clean off any diamond - re-virginized." Hardison said.
Parker was still annoyed.
"And what kind of fee do you charge for such a specialized service?" Kerrity asked.
"30 percent." Hardison said.
"Five percent." Kerrity negotiated.
"30 percent." Hardison repeated, showing he wasn't negotiating.
"See, that's the discounted rate, brother, cause anything lower than that is an insulated rate, cause it's an insult to me, savvy?" Hardison said.
Kaira tried to not wring Hardison. Kaira pulled a napkin out of her top and wrote a phone number down and gave it to Kerrity. Kerrity tried not to stare.
"You give us a ring when you made up you mind, yeah?" Kaira said, flirting slightly.
"Thanks... but no thanks, brother." Kerrity said, throwing the napkin on the pool table and leaving.
Then the lead Russian goon grabbed it and looked at it and left. Kaira waited until he left and the coast was clear before slapping Hardison in the back of the head. She glared at him and left.
They met up to meet back up at the office the next morning. Parker was playing with a lock at the table, as Kaira tried to not throttle Hardison.
"Ice man?" Eliot questioned.
"I put a lot of work into that character." Hardison said.
"Seriously?" Eliot questioned, cutting in.
"No, no, no, no. I bought new clothes - ugly as hell, too." Hardison said.
"Hardison, what the actual hell were you thinking?! You know damn well part of the grift is to reel in the mark, not grabbing them and shoving your act in their face!" Kaira yelled at Hardison.
"I-I put stories on the website." Hardison said as Kaira was yelling at him.
"You go way to big." Eliot pointed out, not happy.
"Yeah, Sophie told me to say as little as possible. Let the character do that work." Parker said.
"Exactly." Kaira realized what Parker said.
"When did, uh, Sophie say that?" Nate asked, coming into view.
"She told me before she left, it was for a job." Kaira explained.
"A long time ago. Maybe last Christmas. I don't even think it was Sophie." Parker said, getting herself out of her spot as ate went up beside her.
He cleared his throat.
"I'm gonna go put more pressure on Kerrity. I want you guys to be on the clear-out. Iceman, Fire Girl, play it cool." Nate ordered, fixing his tie.
"That's just an awful, awful name." Nate said, leaving.
"Genius." Hardison, defending himself.
"See?" Eliot said.
"It's genius." Hardison said.
"When you get in too deep on this, I ain't bailing your ass out." Eliot warned.
"I don't need you to bail me out. I'm the Iceman." Hardison said, saying his name in his accent. "Not... gonna... help." Eliot reiterated. "No, it'll be me bailing your ass out again, Hardison, because I know you're gonna get yourself in a situation, and it's my job to help with that." Kaira retorted, showing she wasn't happy. A little while later, Hardison got a call from Kerrity, telling them to meet.
So Hardison and the gang got ready in cover and drove up to a science building that had a laser. Eliot, Parker, and Kaira arrived first. They were unloading stuff off the truck and Eliot was on the phone.
"I know." Eliot said, grabbing a bag out the back of the truck.
"He's driving me crazy." Eliot said, not happy.
Kaira tuned into the conversation.
"How, huh? I'm back up. They can't rely on me." Eliot said.
Kaira looked at Eliot.
"I'm back up too, you know?" Kaira told Eliot.
"I know, Princess." Eliot kissed Kaira.
"Alright. Hey... thanks. Don't tell Nate I called." Eliot said, hanging up the phone.
Kaira immediately knew who he called. It was Sophie. Eliot put his phone in his pocket.
"Who was that?" Parker asked Eliot.
"Cable company." Eliot said, not wanting to talk about it.
Kaira leaned into Eliot.
"We don't have cable." Kaira whispered to Eliot, revealing she knew he called Sophie.
They walked in, wearing white hazmat suits and baby blue gloves and gas masks.
"Whoa! Whoa! What are you people doing here?" Eliot exclaimed.
"We work here. Who are you?" A woman asked them.
"We're with OSHA." Parker said.
"We issued a class 1 evacuation notice for this facility, effective 24 hours ago." Kaira said, showing she wasn't happy.
"This place is on lockdown for chemical exposure." Parker said.
"Did no one read the memo?" Eliot asked the crowd.
"Did no one read the memo?!" Parker exclaimed.
"You! Cough!" Parker said, going to the woman in front of them and having her cough in a white pad.
"W-What chemicals?" The woman asked as Parker and Kaira looked at the rag.
"Given the setup for this place, it could be a matrix of solid-phase sulfates, nitrates-" Eliot was saying as Parker revealed a black spot on the pad, which she flipped earlier.
Parker handed it to the woman.
"That's inside me?" The woman asked, very scared.
"Honey, your lungs are a parking lot, sweetheart." Eliot said.
"And in that parking lot, the diagonal lines are painted with poison." Parker said.
Parker turned to Eliot, who shook his head no. Kaira intervened.
"Just evacuate the building, wash yourselves off, and go to a doctor." Kaira said, calming everyone down.
They all left as Parker and Eliot kept yelling things. Finally, they left, and they all stripped off the hazmat suits, with Eliot putting a camera on a clock.
"Okay. I've got a visual." Nate reported as they hid the suits and got ready.
Kaira was wearing her red wig, this time in a braid similar to Parker's hair was and a looser red dress and sapphires in her necklace and earrings, Parker a pink dress, and Eliot a wine red top with a black vest and pants and beads in his hair. He had his arms folded as the lead Russian goon entered with Kerrity.
"Where is Mr. Ice?" Kerrity asked, his hands folded to his stomach.
"He's late, as always." Kaira said in her British accent.
Just then she heard an engine. Kaira gave a hint of a smile as Kerrity and the goon went to look out the window.
"Hmm. Subtle." Kerrity said.
"Tell me about it. I'm constantly telling the bloody wanker to cut the theatrics." Kaira said, hoping Hardison heard her.
They saw Hardison walk and and open the door.
"The Ice Man cometh." Hardison said in character.
"Let me introduce you to my laser, Glinda." Hardison said, not missing a beat.
"You see, I've found that laser fluences below the diamond graphitization threshold are most effective. Wouldn't you say?" Hardison turned to Kerrity as Parker went beside Hardison and Kaira stayed by Eliot, her arm around his chest.
"Yeah." Kerrity said.
"Did you bring the diamond?" Kaira asked.
Kerrity pulled it out of his pocket and showed it to Hardison and Kaira.
"Two carats, very few flaws - my salesman said." Kerrity said, giving it to Hardison.
He had in between his thumb and index finger.
"She's a beaut. Sheila, get us a pop." Hardison said and Parker left.
Hardison put the diamond in the laser.
"Because this would be classified I.F, and internally flawless two-carat round cut diamond, it should be easier to oblate." Hardison explained, giving Parker the diamond to grab from the back.
"You got that, Parker?" Nate asked.
"How is this gonna fool him?" Parker asked.
"He's not looking at the diamond, he's looking at the I.D number." Nate said.
Hardison started the laser.
"I.D numbers are etched at a depth between five and seven microns. Using nanoblation, the U.V laser pulses irradiate the etching." Hardison said.
Just then Parker arrived and handed Hardison the can, which had the diamond underneath.
"Thank you, sweets." Hardison said to Parker.
Hardison took a sip, sliding the diamond in his hand, and handing the can back to Parker.
"Should be about done. He's the tech guy when it comes to this. I just do the planning." Kaira said in character.
Hardison looked at her, but opened the case and pulled out the diamond, switching it out with the one Parker grabbed. Kerrity inspected it for a moment and Eliot and Kaira moved to the window seal. He put his tool down.
"It's like it was never there." Kerrity said.
"I could do the rest in a day, but I'm only here for another week. We got a thing in Antwerp." Hardison said.
"All right. Well, let's, uh, let's do it tomorrow?" Kerrity suggested.
"Done." Hardison said.
"Excellent. Mr. Ice. Mrs. Fire." Kerrity turned to Hardison then Kaira and left, followed by his goon.
"Alright. Nice work, guys. Tomorrow, when she shows up with the diamonds, the state police will be there." Nate said as the team left.
"Why, so they can arrest Hardison's ego?" Eliot quipped.
"Be cool, baby - ice cool." Hardison said as he walked to his red-orange, almost blood orange Ferrari.
"Hey, who wants to go for a spin?" Hardison asked, getting out his keys.
"I can't believe you rented a Ferrari." Eliot said, stopping momentarily.
"Rented?" Hardison questioned, implying he bought it.
"I'll get a ride home with Eliot." Parker said, walking with Eliot to his vehicle.
"I'll go with you, Hardison." Kaira as she stayed put.
"Y'all are just jealous." Hardison said as Eliot drove away and Hardison wiped the side of the car and whistled.
"Oh, they're just jealous, baby. Don't worry about that." Hardison said to the car.
"Hardison, don't talk to the car." Kaira said, going to walk around as a black van pulled up and grabbed them both.
Kaira tried to escape but soon found herself handcuffed in a chair next to Hardison, both having just one hand handcuffed at a location. Hardison tried fighting the restraint.
"You, my friends, are the answer to all my problems." The lead Russian good said, pouring three shot glasses of alcohol.
"What exactly are we celebrating?" Hardison asked in character.
"We are... stealing Kerrity's diamonds..." The lead goon drank a shot.
"Again!" The goon said, putting the glass down.
"You guys are gonna scrump his jewels?" Hardison asked.
"No, not you guys - us guys. We know where the diamonds are kept in the vault. We need someone to bust the diamonds out of the vault." The lead goon said, moseying to Hardison.
"That's trésbold, brothers. It's trésbold." Hardison said.
"We're going tonight. You clean the stones with your laser. We sell them and make a ton of money." Lead goon said, getting in Hardison's face.
"If I may, Diamond Jim is dropping the stones at our lab tomorrow. Why not pick it up in transit?" Kaira asked in her Fire Girl character.
"Is that what the Ice Man and Fire Girl would do, huh?" The goon said, going back across from the duo.
"Me, yes. Him, it's not his style, but-" Kaira was saying before getting interrupted.
"Too many variables. We have a way in and out of the vault. We take diamonds in a controlled situation. We'll be a long way gone before Kerrity notices he's been robbed." Lead goon chuckled.
Kaira and Hardison stared at him.
"What?" Lead goon said, grabbing a gun and laying it on the table.
"Is there a problem? Hmm." Lead goon questioned.
They didn't bat an eye.
"No." Hardison and Kaira said, grabbing their glasses.
"To our success." Hardison said, toasting.
The goon picked up his glass.
"Nostrovya." He said as they downed their shots.
"Yeah, um, cheers, mate. Uh, I need - I need to make a quick call, bug the old lady, let her know I'm not making it in tonight. You know birds." Hardison said, pointing to the phone.
"I also need to text my husband. He's supposed to cook dinner tonight for me. Got to let him know to save me a plate for later." Kaira said, a smile on his face.
"Oh. Of course." The goon said, pushing the phone to Hardison first.
He dialed a number and put the phone to his ear.
"Yeah. Yeah. Sheila, not making it on tonight. Yeah, work thing. Bugger all." Hardison said.
Kaira couldn't tell who he called.
"I told you, butternut, it's work. I can't get out of it." Hardison said as Kaira realized he was using code.
"Afraid so." Hardison said.
"No. No, muffin, no." Hardison said.
It was a while before Hardison blew off the long conversation.
"It's gonna be a bit of a problem." Hardison said. Kaira looked at him, indicating to hang up the phone.
"Leave it off, crumpet." Hardison said, arguing.
Kaira realized he called Sophie. It seems Kaira was the only one who didn't talk to Sophie since she left. It was another second before Hardison spoke again.
"Smooches." Hardison said, removing the phone from his ear.
"Love her." Hardison said, before hanging up and passing the phone to Kaira to text Eliot.
Luckily Kaira remembered his number. She sent him the text. This was the text:
Hey lover, I'm gonna be late to come home. Narcissist here got us in a job for Russian and the guy wants it done tonight. I'll see you at 3 okay. Love you.
Fire Girl
Kaira prayed Eliot got the message. She handed the phone back to Lead Russian.
"So, do these other blokes talk, or just you?" Hardison asked them.
"No. Let me show you the plan." Lead Russian said, getting up and leaving.
Hardison rattled his handcuff, and so did Kaira.
"Oi!" Kaira got his attention, rattling the handcuff again.
They walked to this other room with steam everywhere.
"Hey, Hardison, Kaira, I just got an interesting phone call. And got done with a conversation with Eliot. Sophie tells me you've been recruited by the Russians." Nate said in his comm.
Kaira never was so happy to hear Nate's voice again.
"Uh, Eliot say's hi." Nate said, clearing his throat.
"So, what's the plan there, Iceman and Fire Girl?" Nate asked the duo.
"So, hitting Kerrity's vault. What's the plan?" Kaira asked in character.
"Oh, beautiful." Nate retorted.
"We'll blow the floor of the vault and climb through." Lead Russian said.
"Blow the floor of the vault with det cord?" Kaira questioned, with the Lead Russian confirming.
Kaira acted like she was thinking. Hardison stayed silent, as he knew Kaira had this handled.
"Det cord - that's how they blew the armored truck." Eliot said.
"Exploding through the floor will set the seismic sensor off. The tunnel's a terrible way in." Parker said.
"Hardison, Kaira, you're gonna have to tell them their plan won't work." Nate said.
Kaira acted like she had an idea.
"You can't use the det cord. The explosion will trigger the seismic sensors in the vault. The feds will be on our arses in no time." Kaira said.
"Well, then, the world's greatest thieves will have to take us another way, hmm?" Lead Russian said, putting a gun to Hardison's neck.
Hardison and Kaira were silent and calm.
"Yeah. We'll get you into Kerrity's vault. No need to be pissy, mate." Hardison said.
"Oh, yes. Of course, you will. Now, listen, Hardison, Kaira, you're gonna have to figure out a way to buy some time so we can get you out of this. Yeah. Get busy." Nate said as Kaira heard a thud.
Kaira figured that Nate threw his earbud. Kaira knew Nate would get them the schematics.
It was a bit later, Nate got them the schematics by acting as an insurance agent looking at the vault for the claim.
"Now, the door can withstand up to 12 hours' drilling. You can't use force." Hardison said.
"If he has an RGB keypad, we're buggered. They're unhackable." Kaira said.
"RGB keypad? Let me see." Parker said.
"Move the camera left. No, vault left. All right. Then you have to do this my way. Remove the sensor while keeping the magnetic field intact. You're gonna need a 4-inch..." Parker was saying before Karia spoke.
"A four-inch by four-inch aluminum plate, double-sided tape, and a Philips head screwdriver. Then Bob's your uncle." Kaira said with a smile.
The lead goon put his thumb up in approval.
"Got it." He said.
They got drinks as the goon gathered the materials and Hardison and Nate went through the vault, with Hardison and Karia listening to the schematics.
"Pressure-sensitive tiles, disabled with the keypad right here." Kerrity said.
"Two cameras. Who monitors the feeds?" Nate asked Kerrity.
"The guard upstairs - 24 hours a day. I also have a monitor in my office." Kerrity said.
"Hmm. Heat sensors? Motion sensors?" Nate asked.
"Yes, but to minimize false alarms, the alarm only goes off if both heat and motion are detected. The keypad over there disables it. Please?" Kerrity said.
"Hardison and Kaira are not gonna be able to do anything if the heat sensors are on." Eliot said.
Kaira was glad to hear Eliot's voice.
"Nate, use the hairspray. It creates a film that blocks the heat." Parker said.
"Heat sensors are over here, and this is the seismic sensor. Any sound louder than my voice, and it triggers. The alarm will sound." Kerrity said.
"You know, I noticed your box-numbering system is off. It goes from 82 to 84. It's yes, it's very, uh, strange." Nate said as Kaira heard the spray can.
He cleared his throat.
"It's um... oh, there it is." Nate said.
"83." Kerrity pointed out.
"Sorry. My mistake." Nate said, chuckling.
"Of course. What's that?" Nate asked.
"Security fog." Kerrity said.
"Ah." Nate breathed.
"If the alarm triggers, that door locks down, and the vault fills with a glycol-based nontransparent fog. Visibility is zero. You can't steal what you can't see." Kerrity said.
"And the fog is triggered by the floor?" Nate asked Kerrity.
"Triple wired. It'll go off at the touch of the tiles, the motion sensor, and the seismic sensor. Lockdown, full fog, cops on the way." Kerrity said.
"Hmm. You are very proud of your security system, aren't you Mr. Kerrity?" Nate said.
"I spare no expense, Mr. Sterling." Kerrity said.
Nate chuckled.
"How bad is it?" Nate asked Parker.
Parker sighed.
"There's no way Hardison and Kaira are gonna be able to break into that vault." Parker said.
"What are Hardison and Kaira gonna do?" Hardison talked quietly in his normal voice.
"No, Hardison and Kaira are gonna pretend to break into the vault." Nate said quietly.
"Yeah, well, hopefully, the Russians will only pretend to kill him and my wife." Eliot said, warning Nate.
"No one's getting killed. We're gonna break in for him." Nate said.
"Baby, I can handle it. I'll be okay." Karia whispered in the comm.
It was night by the time the plan was put together. Lead goon walked in as Hardison and Kaira finished the plan.
"So... brilliant plan to get us inside?" Lead Russian goon asked.
"Oh, believe it." Hardison said in character.
"So, what deposit box are the stolen diamonds in?" Kaira asked in character.
It was silent for the moment as lead Russian stared at them.
"You get us in... we'll tell you." Lead Russian said.
Hardison and Kaira told the goons the plan and drove to the vault. Kaira had heard Parker, Eliot, and Nate set up break-in so Kaira and Hardison could break-in. They got out. Hardison walked to the door.
"Eliot, approaching the building. Approaching the building." Hardison whispered as he got ready.
"Wait here, right? I've got to handle the initial break-in myself. Too many cooks and all." Hardison said in character.
Hardison went up to the door and knocked on it.
"Oi. Delivery." Hardison said.
Kaira watched as Hardison walked in and then started pounding on Eliot, faking it. Kaira tried not to break.
"Next time, I'm playing the thief." Eliot growled, not happy.
"I'd like to hear you do an accent." Hardison said, still "punching" Eliot.
"I'd like to hear you do an accent." Eliot said, still getting punched by Eliot.
"I went to second city Chicago." Hardison said, still punching Eliot.
Kaira just shrugged her shoulders.
"Oi! Finish it already we haven't got all day!" Kaira yelled at Hardison.
He still kept punching Eliot to buy Parker time to crack the vault door. Kaira just let it go.
"Lay down. Stop moving. Stop moving." Hardison said as he placed a couple of punches on Eliot.
"How about that?" Lead Russian said.
He opened the door and they all ran past, not noticing Eliot on the ground. Kaira and Hardison were last to go by.
"Idiot." Eliot quipped as he got up.
Kaira and Hardison were making their way to the vault as Parker was still breaking in.
"Stuck it." Eliot said.
Kaira knew he was watching the security feeds. The group opened the door and walked in, with Hardison shaking a small can at the vault door.
"This little baby will deactivate the magnetic sensors." Hardison said, spraying the can on the small metal square piece that was on the vault that had the RGD keypad on it.
"Smells like... Patchouli." Lead Russian said.
"Does it?" Kaira questioned.
Hardison put on the stethoscope and acted like he was going to crack the vault door.
"Parker wrote the combination in invisible ink on the door next to you. She's in there, but she hasn't deactivated the floor yet. Take your time with the tumblers." Eliot said on comms.
Hardison spun the dial, acting like he was finding the combination.
"You are everything you claimed." Lead Russian said.
"What?" Hardison said, taking off the stethoscope.
"I said you're really everything you claimed." Lead Russian said.
"If I'm lying, I'm dying." Hardison said with a slightly nervous smile.
"Yes you are. Yes you are. I'm sorry. Just to say in English - very tricky." Lead Russian said.
"Hardison, slow down. You're breezing through that combo lock wat too fast. Parker, what's your E.T.A?" Eliot said.
"Not ready yet. Floor's still hot." Parker said.
"Nate, our timing's not gonna work out." Eliot said.
Kaira got nervous. Nate was still trying to stall Kerrity so he wouldn't see the monitors. He suggested basically a bribe so Kerrity could get his insurance payout. Kerrity went off on Nate for suggesting such a thing. Hardison tried to slow down on the tumblers, but he had to finish soon, or Lead Russian would get suspicious.
"Parker, you better get a move on. Nate and Hardison are way ahead of you." Eliot reported.
"Okay, the floor is clear." Parker reported.
Kaira calmed a bit down, but was still hella nervous about the timing.
"Nate, Parker's still in the vault." Eliot reported as Nate tried to keep Kerrity in his office and away from his monitor.
"Are you gonna finish this up, Mr. Ice?" Lead Russian asked Hardison.
"Right, right. Yeah, sure. Just..." Hardison said as he found the last combination.
It clicked.
"There it goes. Got it. Found it. I found it." Hardison said, the final time a warning to Parker.
"I need 60 seconds." Parker said.
"Well, can you turn invisible in 60 seconds? Cause they're busting in there." Eliot said as Hardison typed in a code on a white button pad.
Hardison spun the wheel and Kaira prayed Parker got out in time.
"Parker, you're out of time." Eliot said.
"I'm not ready." Parker said as Hardison swung the vault door open.
They all ran in. Luckily, Parker was gone.
They went to the room that had the safety deposit boxes in them.
"Box 72." Lead Russian informed the duo.
"I'm on it." Hardison said, going to the box.
"She didn't crack those." Eliot said.
"What?" Hardison whispered.
"She didn't have time. You moved too fast. You're gonna have to improvise." Eliot said.
Kaira decided she had to move in.
"Why don't I try this one?" Kaira suggested in character.
Hardison nodded his head and handed the lockpicks to Kaira. Lead Russian was still beside Kaira. She put the picks in and felt around a bit before turning to Lead Russian.
"Do you mind? Personal space? I can't concentrate with you breathing down my neck." Kaira said in character as the goon took a step back. It was soon that problems arose.
"Guys, uhm Kerrity's on his way down." Nate reported.
Kaira then stopped as Lead Russian was snapping his fingers.
"What?" Lead Russian asked.
"Diamond Jim is on his way down. We'll stay to nick the diamonds while you go stop him." Kaira suggested.
Lead Russian left and Kaira quickly unlocked the case and hid with Hardison, getting pulled into a room by Parker. Hardison and Parker were all but breathing on each other.
"Thank you. And I mean thank you. But how are we getting out of here?" Hardison said.
"Thanks Parker." Kaira smiled as Parker held up a remote.
"What is that?" Hardison asked.
Parker shushed him.
"Pull your arms in." They hid as Parker set off the explosion, causing them to fall.
They all cushioned the fall by bending their knees. Kaira saw Eliot grabbing them. He grabbed her and she pulled him into a hug.
"I have never been so happy to see you." Kaira said.
Eliot pulled Kaira into a kiss in relief and they ran, brushing the dust off of them.
"Thought you said we couldn't use the tunnel." Hardison said.
Kaira had to adjust to the sun.
"The tunnel's a horrible way in. But it's a great way out." Nate said, leaning against the railing.
"Let's get the hell out of here so I can kick Hardison's ass." Kaira said.
Hardison had a scared look.
They met back up at the bar, where Nate informed Joey his name was cleared and Kerrity and his goons were arrested. Nate also gave him some compensation from the diamond they stole from Kerrity during the laser test. The quartet all sat at the bar, drinking. Hardison was smiling.
"What are you smiling at? You still screwed up." Eliot said, looking at Hardison.
"I'm smiling cause you said if I got in trouble, you wouldn't help me." Hardison said.
"Kaira was in danger. I wasn't gonna leave my wife in danger. And Parker made me." Eliot said, causing Kaira to smile and chuckle.
"No, I didn't." Parker said.
"Well, I'm glad you came, babe." Kaira smiled at Eliot, kissing his cheek.
"Come on, man. Let's hug it out." Hardison said, tapping Eliot's arm.
"I'm not hugging it out, Ice Man." Eliot said.
"Just hug it - just a little man love." Hardison said as he tried to pull Eliot into a hug.
"I'm not hugging it out with you." Eliot said, objecting.
"No, it's not-" Hardison tried to argue, getting off of his stool and trying to hug Eliot.
"Just sit down on your stool." Eliot said.
"Don't make this awkward. Just don't make this-" Hardison said, trying to give Eliot a hug, but Eliot stiff elbowed Hardison, keeping his body away from him.
"What are you doing, man?" Eliot asked, uncomfortable.
"This is uncomfortable now." Hardison said.
"Just don't-" Hardison said.
"Don't." Eliot warned.
Kaira was kinda amused by the display.
"Get in the pits, man. Get in the pits." Hardison said, still trying to hug Eliot.
"I'm gonna break your frickin' arm." Eliot warned.
Hardison eventually let go and they finished their drinks. And Kaira did kick Hardison's ass later for overdoing the cover.
Kaira sat down in bed, spinning her ring as she waited for Eliot to come to bed. Eliot then came out of the bathroom.
"Hey, Princess." Eliot said, planting a kiss on her forehead.
"Hey, babe." Karia smiled at him.
"What is it?" Eliot asked, his arm around Kaira.
"I just miss Sophie." Kaira said.
"Is that all?" Eliot asked.
"For now I think." Kaira smiled at Eliot.
"Okay." Eliot smiled back at her.
"Thank you for coming to get me, Cowboy." Kaira said, hugging Eliot.
"Of course, Princess. You know I wasn't gonna leave you with Hardison." Eliot said.
Kaira chuckled slightlyy.
"I know." Kaira said.
She laid down for bed as Eliot joined her. Kaira wished Sophie would return. Though, she was glad to have her husband with her.