Chapter 3 - A Professional You Say? That's Debatable.

Irina had been watching the children play some game with the target when Karasuma had come to stand with her while she griped about the situation, "And of course I had the usual close range tricks at the ready. Apparently, the art of seduction works just as well on whatever the hell he is."

She took the moment to take out a cigarette and light it, she needed it after what she had to go through clinging to that monster. She barely noticed the way Karasuma was assessing her before he started talking, "As good as you are, we can't just drop you into this and expect the usual tricks to work. I know deep cover is your specialty, but this time you'll actually have to teach."

She had started walking back into the faculty room when she heard that last part, "Ah as if I'll be here long enough, I'm a professional. The octopus will be pushing up daisies before lunch."

As an afterthought she added, "And the sooner I get away from the strawberry blonde brat with the mouth, the better. Tentacle porn? Stupid twerp."

"I assume you mean Raimei," he says, and she pauses in the door, "She only started in E Class yesterday herself, but I've learnt quite a lot about her in only a day. So I can tell you, she's probably going to make life difficult for you on principle, and when she does, expect her boyfriend to follow."

"You mean the red-headed punk with the infuriating smirk," she says, though not as a question.

"Yes, Raimei and Karma are the two most likely to make it hard for you, but just so you know, she's the daughter of Kunugigaoka's Chairman, so be careful how you approach her. She isn't really the type to go running to 'daddy' but I'd still be cautious if I was you."

"Heh, I'm not worried about some brats, besides, like I said, the job will be over by lunch," and with that, she entered the faculty room.

Raimei stood lazily on the field with her anti-sensei knife, watching as Korosensei passed soccer balls from student to student. Karma got in a pass and kill shot, which was obviously dodged, and Okano tried her hand at a pass and kill with a knife, but also missed. Korosensei was ready to do another pass when a 'yoohoo' resounded across the field.

She looked over to the stairs to see Miss Jelavic coming down the stairs, waving at Korosensei as she did. Raimei rolls her eyes as she goes to stand next to Karma, they share a look and he just laughs at the look on her face. They turn back to the blonde bimbo as she shouts, "Hope I'm not interrupting anything, darling. Mister Karasuma tells me you can go Mach twenty and I just had to see it with my own eyes."

"Well, he might have exaggerated a tad," he says almost bashfully, causing Raimei to fake gag while sharing a look with Nakamura who laughed in reply.

"I hate to ask this, but I would be ever so grateful if you could fetch some Vietnamese coffee," Miss Jelavic says all cutely, pressing her arms against her chest to accentuate her boobs. "I thought maybe you could grab some while I run the students through their English lesson."

Korosensei's face flushed as he replies readily, "Why of course mon cher, it just so happens I know a fabulous cafe in Vietnam."

With that, he was gone in a flash, quick to follow the whims of this very fake woman and Raimei was unsure if Korosensei was truly this oblivious or not. Just as the wind he created had calmed down, the bell for the end of the period rang, "Ah," Isogai mutters, "It's about that time, Miss Irina, I mean, that's the bell. Shouldn't we head back?"

"Sure whatever," she says dryly, putting a cigarette in her mouth and lighting it. "Knock yourselves out. Teacher needs peace and quiet though, so make it a study hall."

The class took a moment to take in the words, but before anyone could comment, she continues, "And another thing, let's agree not to call me Miss when the octopus isn't around. And we're definitely not on a first name basis, so drop it. When he is around call me Miss Jelavic."

"Huh," Karma laughs behind her, "So what's your game Miss Jela-bitch?"

"No nicknames," she yells, pointing his way.

"We got ourselves a real pro here," he continues as if she said nothing. "Just a word of warning from those who have been playing the odds. You're not gonna kill the octopus without help."

"Please sweetheart," she drawls, her tone returning to its confident one, "You're a bunch of saplings, adults have their own way of doing things. Take note."

"Oh right, so only adults are into tentacle porn?" Raimei said, adding her own two cents with the wide smirk across her face.

"Enough with the tentacle porn," Miss Jelavic shouts again, an angry tick appearing on her head.

In an effort to ignore the couple further, she turned around, her eyes trained on Nagisa, "Speaking of which, you're Nagisa Shiota right?"

Without giving him a chance to reply, she was in front of him, her hands on his cheeks and her lips pressed against his. This caused various reactions across the class, Karma looked intrigued and Raimei had suddenly pulled out a video camera, "Huh, I knew there would be prime filming content being in this class."

Nagisa was too stunned to pull away as the teacher had her way with his mouth. With a thirty hit combo, he was down for the count, pliable in her hands as she pulled him to her chest, "Do me a fave, show me what you've got on him. Grab your special little notebook and meet me in the faculty lounge in ten minutes."

She finally lets him go and he falls to the ground. With nothing left to film, Raimei disappointedly puts away her camera as the blonde addresses the class, "That goes for any of you snot-nosed punks who feel like you've got intel worth sharing. Give Miss Jelavic something useful and I'll let you go home while these gentlemen stand in for you."

Sure enough, three men with strange suspicious bags were walking towards them across the field, "This is what separates the pros from the amateurs boys and girls. Connections and a little thing we like to call technique. Now piss off, go play. Oh, and a word of warning from those of us who know our job, get in the way, you die."

Raimei was, unfortunately, not the type to take something like that sitting down, so grabbing her boyfriend's anti-sensei gun, she fired a BB right at the woman's head before anyone could blink. Since they were designed to be harmless to people, it only left a small red mark on the centre of her forehead, which was why Raimei had aimed for her head in the first place. Clearly not expecting any of them to retaliate after just being threatened with a real gun, Miss Jelavic was rubbing her head in shock as Raimei stared her down, "You think you can threaten us with your pretty little pistol and call it a day? Think again bitch. Go ahead, try your little tactics with your scary assassin dudes, we'll be on the sidelines watching as you fail again and again. While your lead bullets work on humans, they'll have no effect on the octopus, but you're welcome to try."

She returns the gun to Karma before walking away, him trailing behind her with his ever present smirk. She paused as a thought hit her, "Oh, and don't forget, my father practically owns this school. Think about that the next time you threaten to kill me or my classmates."

She left behind stunned classmates and a screech of 'you stupid brat.'

As it turns out, English had indeed turned into a study hall and while Raimei stared the woman down, she pretended not to notice as she fiddled with her tablet. Miss Jelavic unexpectedly caught Nagisa's eye, sending the boy a wink that caused him to shiver. She looked to be deep in thought, but the students were getting fed up. "Um, Miss Jela-bitch ma'am," Maehara suddenly speaks up, "are you gonna teach us or what?"

"Yeah, come on Miss Jela-bitch," Nakamura adds.

"No disrespect," Sugaya calls from the back, "But you are a teacher right, Miss Jela-bitch?"

At this point, it was clear the class was just trying to get back at her for being a bitch, but that did not mean Raimei was not enjoying it. The blonde woman finally snapped, screaming and then shouting, "Ix nay on the bitch ay. The name is Jelavic. Understand? Jela-bitch is what I'll be if you don't get the difference through your thick prepubescent skulls."

Deciding to go further, she cheerfully continues, "Let's review, my name is Jelavic. Jela-V vic, bite your lower lip and hum."

Thinking she was finally going to teach them something, the class does as instructed, the sound of 'v' intoning throughout the room. "V, excellent," she continues, "now practice that sound quietly for the next hour while I ignore you."

Lamest lesson ever, is the mutual thought of the entire class.

"So, I've pushed a lot of buttons so far," Raimei whispers to Karma, "do you think we should push more? She's pretty irritated right now, it could be fun."

"Nah," he whispers back, his arms lazily behind his head, "with the way she's treating everyone, she's going to cause her own destruction. I'm content to just watch when that happens."

"No truer words have been said," she sighs, "I guess waiting is better, it will make it so much sweeter to wait for her to just implode."

Okuda and Chiba, the two who sat in front of the couple, heard the exchange and could not help the shiver than ran up their spines. Seriously, what was wrong with these two?

It was latter, during PE, when something finally happened. While they were all practicing their shooting, Mimura had turned his head back towards the building. "Huh? What?"

Everyone turned their heads to see what he was looking at, only to find a pink-faced Korosensei following Miss Jelavic to the shed, "Oh come on," Mimura continued, "you've got to be kidding me. Seriously?"

"Wow, he's really falling for it," Sugaya adds, unbelieving of what he was seeing. "I can't look, you think he'd have more sense."

"Mister Karasuma, sir," Kataoka chimes, "I get that she's a pro, but she's not exactly easy to get along with."

"Yes, I know," he agrees, "I'm sorry you kids have to deal with her, but the higher ups seem to think she's all that. And well, seeing what she's been able to put together in such a short time, does make me tend to agree with them."

"Huh," Raimei chuckles, surprisingly delayed to react to what they had seen, "She may be all that in the regular world of assassination, but she's losing brownie points on this one. We may be a bunch of teenagers, but this class has been around the octopus a lot longer than she has, so any professional should take the advice of someone who knows the target regardless of age. I flat out told her lead bullets won't work on him, I've been here only a day longer than her, though even I know that, but I can guarantee she'll still use them. We're young, so we don't know anything, that's her thinking. So she can call herself a professional all she wants, she has yet to prove it to me."

As if to prove her point, the unmistakable sound of gunfire sounded from the shed, it appeared the woman had started her assassination attempt. Raimei was giving her classmates a look, one that said 'what did I just say' accompanied by that self-satisfied smirk her and her boyfriend were known for. It was not like they had ever disagreed with her, but the smirk still caused a few of them to twitch from annoyance at that smug look. They turned back to face the shed when the sound of the gunfire finally ceased.

They waited with bated breath for something to happen, and sure enough, there was the sound of a scream. "What was that?" Okano asked.

"After the gunfire, I heard a scream and now a slithering noise," Okajima added helpfully.

However, the next sound was just weird, the scream was now more like a moan. It quickly evolved into moans of pleasure, causing the class to sweat drop. "I really want to know what he's doing to her in there," Okajima admits.

"Let's go," Maehara says, running off up the hill.

A few followed him, and they reached the door to the shed in time to see Korosensei leaving, his face still flushed pink. "Korosensei," Nagisa calls.

"Did you touch her boobs?" Okajima shouts, but is easily ignored.

"Ah," Korosensei sighs. "If only I had the time to be really thorough, but class isn't going to teach itself, is it children?"

"Um, what exactly went on in there, sir?" Nagisa asks hesitantly.

It was at that moment that Miss Jelavic walked out of the shed slowly, wobbling on her feet.

"Miss Jelavic has been stuffed into a tastefully retro gym outfit," Nagisa calls, noticing that she was indeed, now wearing old fashioned gym clothes.

"It would take longer to describe the things he did to this body than it did for him to do them," she drones limply, "my back and shoulders have never felt looser. He somehow worked in a lymphatic oil massage. A change of clothes, just because. And he still had time to do this thing with his tentacles."

With that, she lost the power to stay standing, falling to her knees and then face first, onto the dirt.

What thing with his tentacles? The watching boys shouted in their minds.

"Korosensei, what is she talking about?" Nagisa asks, pointing at Miss Jelavic with a bland look on his face.

In response, Korosensei looked away while his face turned white and his mouth shrunk to a small, straight line, "Ah, adults sometimes need special care."

I don't trust that look, Nagisa thought to himself.

Eventually, Korosensei led them away with a quick, "Okay, back to the classroom, boys and girls."

"Yes, sir."

It was next period when what the 'Devil Couple' had been waiting for finally happened. They were back in what was supposed to be an English lesson, but was again a study hall. Miss Jelavic was on her tablet, angrily swiping through something while the class stared at her in frustration.

"Oh come on, what's with the wifi in this place?" she randomly shouts out. "Are we on Mars?"

"Wow," Karma says, in his default position of his hands behind his head, "looks like Miss Jelavic is pissed off. I know my pride would be in shambles if my plan went tits up."

She looked ready to rail on him in anger before Isogai finally cuts in, "Excuse me, miss?"

"What?" she says haughtily.

"If you're not going to teach us anything, you mind if we swap you out for Korosensei? It's just, we've got entrance exams coming and…"

"Huh," she interrupts with a laugh, "You want to swap me out for that disgusting creature? You're worried about entrance exams when the planet is on notice? Must be nice not knowing your ass from a hole in the ground. Give it a rest, even if the Earth wasn't on the brink of destruction, entrance exams are for students with a future."

Her words were finally causing the class to get angry, while Raimei and Karma, who had good grades anyway, just watched the inevitable happen. She continued, not noticing the angry looks being sent her way, "News flash, that's not any of you losers. How about this kids, forget the studying, help me brainstorm on how to kill the octopus and I'll give you a nice percentage of the reward money. That's the best deal any of you E Class jerk-offs are gonna get out of life, otherwise, knock it off with the whining…"

She is interrupted when an eraser hits the board only inches from her head.

"Get out."

She stares at the class, not sure what was going on, but definitely seeing the angry looks before the class finally explodes.

"Now you're just a plain old bitch."

"That's it," she yells while dodging various school supplies, "I will make you rue the day you were born."

"Yeah, go ahead, we dare you, bitch," Sugaya yells back.

"Your boobs are way to big to be a teacher's," Kayano yells, while holding a sign that says 'No big boobs!'

Raimei and Karma just watch from the back as the class eventually chases the woman out of the room, two scarily wide smirks across their faces. They were really starting to enjoy this day.

A/N: hehe, two chapters so close together

So anyway, I've got Assassination Classroom vibes going on, so I've been working on this fic more than the others, whoops. So here we have more Miss Bitch, and more Raimei being a little shit. Not really many changes on this chapter in regards to the story line, but I've added a few things, hehe.

Until the next chapter.

Seza, out.