My ship went down in a sea of sound,
When I woke up alone I had everything,
A handful of moments I wish I could change,
And a tongue like a nightmare that cuts like a blade
Josephine doesn't like the cafeteria. It's loud, full of (blood bags) humans and whenever she looks up from the table her vision is muddled with a dull tapestry of bonds that are so tangled and hard to make sense of that she questions whether or not vampires can get headaches after all. Edward thinks the whole practice of forcing themselves to sit amongst the humans every day like this is an unnecessary risk, and Josephine often finds herself speaking up to agree with him on the matter. It's like torture, self-inflicted and prolonged torture that strengthens her resolve so slightly every time she does it that it feels like no progress is being made at all.
Still, it's better than trying to live with the guilt of slaughtering an entire school of children - but only barely. She tries to remind herself that her goal is redemption, no matter the personal cost. Josephine was sat in this cafeteria today, surrounded by her family, because she admires them for the sacrifices they make and the lifestyle they choose to pursue.
"Oh," she remarks out loud without really meaning to, "now that's interesting."
Her siblings all turn their heads in that sluggishly human way they've practised - except for Alice, of course, who already knows every little thing that will happen today - to see that Bella Swan is once again trying to steal furtive glances at their table, no doubt looking for any sign of Edward. Jessica Stanley sits to her right, fixing the girl with a not so subtle glare. Emmett snickers and Rosalie rolls her eyes so hard and with so much aggression that Josephine almost wants to laugh at how over the top it is. Alice, who is sat beside Josie, gives a very slight shake of her head and tangles her hand with Jasper's.
"Don't stare. We're intimidating to her as it is." Alice admonishes.
"Good. Maybe it'll scare the little brat off and leave us in peace." Rosalie shoots back.
Josephine lets out a practised sigh, playing with a lock of her hair. "I think it's more human for us to look back at her. They're always so concerned with what everyone else thinks of them, any average group of human teenagers would stare back at anyone who gawks at them as often as she does to us."
Emmett's ever-present smirk deepens into a dangerous grin as he leans forward slightly, capturing her full attention from across the table. "I'll tell you what would be really human..."
"Emmett," Rosalie warns without any real momentum, more focused on her nails than whatever her husband has planned.
"Eat five of those fries." Emmett's golden eyes lock onto Josephine's own, watching closely as she registers the challenge. He knows her far too well - her competitive streak is easy to trigger when he knows exactly the right words to use - hardly surprising given the 33 years Josephine has now been a part of the coven.
Jasper catches her eye, studying her face for a second to ascertain something unknown to her before he averts his attention towards Emmett and gives a curt nod. "I'll bet you a hundred dollars Josie can do ten, and when she does you're going to prioritise her meal over yours for the next three hunts we go on - deal?"
Emmett taps his finger on the table in a mindless rhythm as he considers this, though he's as unlikely to back down as Josephine is because Jasper has flipped the script in her defence and preyed on the same competitiveness inside Emmett.
Alice remains quietly contemplative, but her eyes give the impression that she's seen this exact scenario play out multiple different ways already and sees no reason to interrupt it.
"Alright, you're on." Emmett agrees and settles back in his seat, throwing an arm over Rosalie's shoulder. Not for the first time, Josie finds herself wishing she had someone. "Showtime, Josie."
Four sets of golden eyes fix on her as she snatches the first fry from her plate and pops it into her mouth, barely registering its presence on her tongue before she swallows it. Josephine grimaces every so slightly at the wrongness of it - the taste, the texture, the complete lack of sustenance it holds for her - and then moves on to the second. She suddenly comes to understand Jasper's willingness to bet in her favour, the amount of venom in her mouth from sitting in a room full of humans render the food she's ingesting practically non-existent by the time it reaches the back of her mouth, and if anyone is going to factor in the venom, it would always have been Jasper. Like this, Josephine eats ten fries with little to no problem and celebrates with Alice and Jasper as Emmett mutters about his loss. Josephine and Rosalie share a secret smile, and all is well with the world.
Apart from the absence of Edward. As nice as it's been to have her thoughts to herself for once, Josephine still considers him her brother, as crucial a part of her family as the rest of them. For this reason, it's easy to see where Rosalie's coming from, as extreme as she can be with her views on the situation.
There's something about Bella, though. She's silently endearing, even from across a crowded cafeteria - even with all of the awkward staring and the impact her existence has on Edward - Josephine can't quite decide how she feels about the clumsy human who stumbled into their lives the way she stumbles into most everything else. She's trying to figure it out when Alice's fingers ghost over the back of Josephine's hand, alerting her to the fact that she's been sat there staring at Bella for long enough for Jessica Stanley to bring it to the other girl's attention. Josephine promptly turns her whole body away from the two of them, a hand brushing her long hair back over her shoulder to dismiss them entirely and now that she's free of the table she throws one leg over the other, reminding herself to move her shoulders up and down and fidget. Josie feels the weight of someone's eyes on her and glances up to see Jasper's dart away just as a wave of calm washes over her. She hadn't even realised that she had been on edge, though if Jasper felt the need to use his powers on her, she must have been feeling whatever emotion it was quite strongly. She'll thank him later - he prefers it that way.
Just then the bell rings, and the monotony of the average school day continues.
My lungs gave out as I faced the crowd,
I think that keeping this up could be dangerous,
I'm flesh and bone,
I'm a rolling stone,
And the experts say I'm delirious