Take Me As I Am
Chapter 2
A/N: I don't own any of the characters of Kim Possible. They belong to Disney. Enjoy and let me know how you feel about this chapter. Thanks for the previous reviews and follows! They really inspire me!
I.
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Kim ranted over and over again. "Stupid!" she pounded her fist onto the steering wheel of the Sloth. Frustration, anger, sadness, all coalescing into one. Kim didn't understand what had just transpired. Ron had just broken things off and so coldly. It sent chills up her spine. His behavior earlier in the night was apprehensive but Kim could have never guessed that a breakup was the thought on his mind. Why is this happening? What is the sitch with him? What's the big?
A bright light blinded her, causing her to panic and she swerved, turning the Sloth into oncoming traffic. Fear gripped her as the headlights of an oncoming car sped toward her. Kim reacted as her car careened toward the intersection, pulling the emergency brake. Her action sent the Sloth spinning through the crossroads missing the honking cars. The Sloth screeched to a halt next to the curb on the other side. Kim took in deep breathes trying to calm herself down staring aimlessly at the steering wheel. What am I doing? I'm Kim… Possible. Aren't I? I can do anything, right? Kim put the car in park and slowly took her hands away from the steering wheel. The near-encounter with an automobile accident didn't help her state of mind. Then why am I shaking right now? Why do I feel like I can't do anything? Why do I feel hopeless?
Kim raised her hands in front of her, the tears free of their prison, freely trickling down her cheeks. She had never felt this weight before. Discerning the hopelessness from the grief became impossible to differentiate. Her hands still shook as she held back sobs. Kim couldn't break right now. She was a Possible and she needed to push through this storm. It's what Possible's did and what she planned to continue. Two years and five months that Kim would never forget. Ron asking her to forget was paramount to wiping her brain again.
Forgetting wasn't an option. Interest in the option never existed in Kim's heart. Ron held a special place there and that would never change. Kim slowly clenched her hands putting them in her lap. Looking down at the back of her hands, tears still rolling down one by one, she dwelled on Ron's decision. Is this what he really wants? What changed? Was it me? No..? Kim's thoughts drifted from self-doubt to grit, carrying her heart from sadness to hardened determination. She couldn't accept that this was what Ron wanted.
The situation didn't have a real feel to it. Nothing made any sense. After Ron had defeated Warhawk and learned to master his powers, his confidence came back. He was becoming the dorky, over-confident, and once in a while, overbearing goof he had been before their romance started to blossom. Unlike the suave "Le Goup" hair gel product, Ron didn't let his newfound power and skill get to his head… or make it too big. So what had downed Ron's confidence so much? He talked like all those great things about him, traits that are true to him personally, were all bad.
Who? Who might be the right question? Who was responsible for bringing Ron down? Tears still staining her face, she pounded her fist onto the rim of the steering wheel. "Why can't this just be no big? Why does everything have to be so complicated for a Possible?" She scolded herself. No one gave off any suspicions. Ron refuted the very thought that the idea to break things off was anyone but his own. Of course. Whether this was Ron's idea or not. Even if someone gave Ron the idea he wouldn't let me know. He knows me. He knows that I would blow the sitch out of proportion in his mind, even if it isn't.
Kim wasn't far from the truth, but who was the culprit? Villains, Bonnie, even bullies at school. Ron had grown immune to all their insults. Even being rejected by most of the female student body in high school never dispelled his fortitude. This left only two possibilities. Ron decided this on his own, truly feeling that somehow this was all a mistake. Or… or his decision remained influenced by some unknown source. Perhaps a person that stood closer to Kim than she liked to admit. Yet, she could tell without Ron's help, she would never ascertain that information or a clue to the identity of who was convincing Ron he was wrong for her. She felt that Ron was only stoic because he was confident she couldn't find out.
With that impasse and a dead end with no leads, it didn't matter. With nothing to go on, Ron was the only culprit for the idea. Kim couldn't go back and grovel for him to take her back. Like Ron had pointed out, no matter how much it hurt, he ended the relationship on a good note. Until this point, they had never hurt each other and always worked through their problems. Their trust never shattered by cheating or lies. Bonnie wasn't Ron's fault and Ron accepted early on after the super-suit incident that Kim loved him for who he was. No. To go back and grovel wasn't her character and Ron knew that as well as she did.
Without any evidence that Ron was persuaded by an unknown element, Kim only had one option. Move forward and have hope. Hope that Ron woke up from his nonsensical rationale. To try and change Ron's mind at this point was out of her hands. Ron needed to sort this out on his own. He had always been there for her in times of need. Respecting her decisions, even some of the foolish ones. The ones he neglected to respect, he found his own way to make it up to her.
Wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, she let out a long sigh. She needed to think like Ron for once. He gave so much Ron-shine throughout the years that she had no doubt there was plenty to spare for her heart. It was her turn to support Ron. Even if it was from afar. The callousness etched on Ron's face told her he was sincere about his decision, however, his eyes told a different story. By almost never directly looking into her eyes and avoiding them, Kim knew. He lied about his true feelings. But why?
He still loved her. Sure, what he said hurt in more ways than one. Kim however could see Ron truly believed he was helping her with this decision, in his own absurd, stupid way. Really stupid way Ron. Kim released the brake and pulled back onto the avenue driving back home. Her tears became lighter as she forced a smile through them, driving through the night. She clung to the hope that Ron, even though he wouldn't admit it, still loved her.
Ron never did show up for the Scare-for-Care. Kim hadn't really expected him to, even though there was a sliver of hope he would. She told her parents of Ron's decision. At first, her dad was set on sending Ron on a one-way trip to a black-hole. He relaxed after Kim told him that Ron, in his own stupid special way was trying to protect or care for her. Her parents couldn't think of a threat that would present itself that Ron couldn't handle on his own. They were just as perplexed as her.
At the airport, Kim waited for Ron until the last minute, again waiting for nothing. Back in England, she stopped at his college only to find out that he dropped from his courses. A small part of her hoped that he would come to his senses. The larger part of her heart wanted to watch him grow on his own. With Ron casting a shadow of doubt over himself, Kim could only wonder where he was going and what he intended to do to make up for it.
Apparently, it wasn't his education, at least no longer in England. Who could blame him? Kim couldn't imagine he would torture himself with being so close to her. Yet for the first time in a long time, Ron had Kim completely stumped as she continued on with her own education and dreams. He didn't go to Yamanuchi, Sensei himself confirming that Ron hadn't been in touch with him. All she could do at this point was push forward and accomplish what she originally set out to do. It's what Ron would have wanted. Even Wade couldn't find Ron. It would be many more weeks before Kim made a breakthrough in which direction Ron had taken.
II.
"I'm impressed Mr. Possible. Never thought it was possible during my lifetime but you Possibles continue to blow me away," an older man ran his hands on the outside of the same prototype ship Ron and Shego had taken up to space to rescue Kim Possible and Doctor Drakken.
"It was no big really. Once I reverse-engineered the Lowardian reactor, I was able to determine they didn't use anti-matter as we thought. They used zero-point energy and once I got the oscillators working. Bam! A ship that can cross the solar system," Mr. Possible hooked his arm with a fist, proud of his accomplishment.
The professor let out a hearty laugh, "I'm sure, I'm sure. Mr. Possible, no need to be so modest. Your family continues to exceed my expectations."
Mr. Possible gave the older professor a nervous smile as they rounded the ship. "Maybe… not all my family does," he replied under his breath.
"What was that? I couldn't make that out?" the professor asked still in awe of the advanced ship, stepping up the ramp and inside the cabin.
Mr. Possible rebuilt the shuttle that took Ron and Shego to space with Lowardian technology that had been recovered after the battle. It didn't take long for Mr. Possible to figure out what they used and how it worked. Wade, Kim's tech guru even helped with some of the project the last two years. Gone were the advanced rocket thrusters, instead replaced by zero-point energy oscillators and anti-gravity boosters.
Mr. Possible stepped inside with the professor. "I said. Maybe, not all my family exceeds your expectations."
The older professor paused, glancing back at Mr. Possible. His cold gray eyes peering over his spectacles. He gave Mr. Possible a warm smile, "Whatever could you mean? Your daughter is eclipsing all my expectations back in England. Still only a student and she's paving the way for world peace. She's been mediating talks for a year now and the strides she's made have been tremendous. Ten years ago, who would have thought the world superpowers would start to dismantle their nuclear weapons."
"Yes, she continues to amaze me myself. I couldn't be prouder," Mr. Possible replied.
"And your two wonderful boys. Scoundrels, definitely. But they're close behind in your footsteps. Whatever school gets them will be lucky indeed," the professor said happily as he examined the control panel in the cockpit.
"Professor Wood. I'm not talking about my children per se. I can say for certain, however, that you hurt one of them," Mr. Possible put his hands in his pockets.
The professor seemed oblivious to whatever Mr. Possible was referring to. "I have no idea what you're are going on about. Your daughter has never offered any grievances to myself or my staff. If such a thing had occurred, I would have promptly settled the matter."
Mr. Possible sighed, "Sometimes, matters of the heart can't be grieved?"
Professor Wood let out a scoff, "I'm not sure what you're babbling about over there—"
"Professor Wood. What did you say to Ronald?" Mr. Possible replied poignantly.
Professor Wood froze where he stood, slowly turning around. He leaned back against one of the seats, crossing his arms, creasing his plaid suit. "What's this about, James?"
"Don't play coy with me, Professor Wood. You may be the dean of my daughter's school, but that doesn't make you untouchable. Apparently a few months ago while talking with my colleague, Professor Ramesh, you had one too many drinks and spilled the beans. Not with a guilty conscience anyway. He told me you seemed pretty proud of your feat," Mr. Possible crossed his arms, his face becoming serious.
"I knew I shouldn't have shared my bottle of scotch with that skeever," Professor Wood tsked looking away.
"I'll ask one more time. What did you tell Ronald?" Mr. Possible asked.
"Why does it matter? What's done is done. The lad made the right choice in the end. Your daughter has held true and steady to her education and dreams and the world is about to reap the benefits of her talents as a diplomat. If you ask me, it sounds like you have nothing to gripe about. Your daughter isn't dating a scoundrel anymore and has avoided any other men. She's been solely focused on her studies. Isn't that what any sensible father wants? His daughter to be man-free," Professor Wood snubbed his nose.
"My daughter isn't happy," Mr. Possible replied simply.
"Really. I haven't noticed that. You sure this isn't personal?" Professor Wood taunted.
"She's your student. Not your daughter. You don't know her like I do. I can see it any time she's on television," Mr. Possible said, anger beginning to crackle in his voice.
"Oh cut that rubbish out. Take a page out of the lad's book and listen to reason. Your daughter is on the cusp of uniting the world, and you want to put love in front of her goal. Do you truly have your daughter's best interests at heart?"
"I do," James replied simply.
The dean of Kim's university stared at Mr. Possible dumbfounded like he had heard the end to a bad joke. He shook his head, uncrossed his arms, and straightened out his suit. "I think we're done here. I don't need to explain myself to you. It's obvious you asked me here to be contentious," Professor Wood said brushing past Mr. Possible.
"Is that the lame excuse you used on Ronald? Or perhaps a lackey of yours? Uniting the world? World peace? You played on the boy's heartstrings, knowing he couldn't stand the thought of my Kimmie-cub living in a broken world that she repeatedly tried to fix to no avail?" Mr. Possible began to shake with anger.
Professor Wood stopped, "Think what you like. I'm sure Ramesh told you all you need to know. You're not going to get any more confirmation from me. And… I would be careful who you show your new discoveries too. Wouldn't want the credit of your discovery going to some chump would we now," the dean smirked.
"I see. You probably blackmailed him too. Be careful. My Kimmie-cub hasn't united the world just yet. My project is under the jurisdiction of the U.S. military. If it got out that a certain professor tried to steal and sell that information, it wouldn't be hard to try them on espionage. Two can play at that game, and you've been under surveillance since you entered the facility," Mr. Possible gave an ingratiating smile back. "You wouldn't want to ruin my daughter's aspirations by your own hand, would you? Raising military tensions around the world? Hmm?"
Professor Wood grimaced, his cold eyes burning with anger until he heard the clapping of leather against the cold floor. Two men in black suits and dark sunglasses entered the ship. They pulled out black wallets showing their badges and authority. The men in black were CIA. "Sir, we're going to have to ask you to come with us. We have some paperwork for you to sign. Standard procedure if you'd just follow us," one of the men motioned for the professor toward the door. The dean leered back at Mr. Possible.
"Before you go, I want you to thank Ron one day. He kept his mouth shut about that little stunt you pulled. You're a lucky man that Kim hasn't found out yet. Ron knew that if she ever did, you might not be in your position right now. You're lucky he's a good man, I'm not so sure that my Kimmie-cub would pull her punches with you," Mr. Possible stated solemnly. "By the way, I don't know if my word holds any merit, but I like to think it does. I wrote a letter of recommendation to Cambridge for my old colleague, Doctor Drakken. I recommended he take your position."
The dean straightened his coat and looked at the men in black, following them out the door without another word. When Mr. Possible was confident that Kim's dean was out of earshot, he let out a long, exhausting breath. His hands shook as he clenched them into fists. It took every ounce of will power in his being to hold back his anger. This man didn't realize how much he had hurt Kim and for no reason.
Mr. Possible pulled out his wallet and glanced through the family photos he had. There was one of his wife, another for each of his children, and one that Kim had sent him not so long ago. He didn't know how she had managed to obtain it. Ron had gone off the grid so to speak a year ago, dropping his studies and his own aspirations. It was a picture of Ron, looking far different than he had the last time he had seen him. The life he had chosen didn't fit the boy at all, but that didn't stop Ron from filling in the shoes and uniform. Mr. Possible smiled, knowing that his daughter still held hope for Ron to come around to his senses. She pushed forward still because of Ron.
III.
Kim watched from afar, her face hidden by a black-veiled sun hat that matched her black dress. She sat in the back of the room staring at her towheaded love who sat in the front. She had found out by an anonymous tip that he had joined the U.S. Army, more specifically, Ron went after one of the most difficult courses in the world. Ron went after the coveted green beret. Whoever tipped Wade off, she was grateful they had. Kim never guessed that Ron would end up here serving in the army of all places.
Once she had found out though, she wanted to keep updated on his progress. Unfortunately, Global Justice wouldn't give Wade or Kim the download on Ron's training and had warned Wade that trying to hack into that information could land him in a quagmire of legal troubles. So Kim turned to favors, and a certain general of a certain top-secret installation owed her a favor. Although his command had changed, General Sims gladly helped Kim secure the necessary credentials to occasionally watch Ron from a distance and only when it was authorized.
To say that she couldn't be prouder was an understatement. During the times she had breaks from school and her extracurricular activities, Kim came to check on Ron. He changed so much that sometimes Kim thought she hardly recognized the boy she grew up with. The grueling training had molded him into a lean, fit warrior. His face chiseled like an artist taking a pick to marble. Kim melted. She never asked for Ron to do this. She loved him just the way he was, weird. But she couldn't help going slack-jaw over Ron and his new features.
Kim sank in her seat a little, careful not to be seen as the ceremony started. Ron had taken an interesting choice for his specialty in the special forces. He chose to be an engineer, a demolition expert. He was always obsessed with 'Bricks of Fury' and destroying lairs with their own self-destruct sequence, Kim smiled softly as she watched the graduates called one by one. Eventually, his name was called and he stepped forward to accept whatever the army gave to their graduates, Kim wasn't too familiar.
Ron's face burned her soul. He still held the same stoic face as he had a year ago when breaking up with her. Even though he had chiseled himself into a stud, Kim recognized the same stonewall expression etched on his face. He still put up a front, as if he knew she was watching. Is this your way of being strong Ron? You're just going to keep being stoic? Why do you have to be like this? Kim jerked her face away when she noticed he was staring directly at her. Did he just see me? There's no way!
Kim peeked back up. Ron walked off the stage and back down to his seat. Kim began to fret, she had never been caught by him before. She stood up when the next graduate was called to the stage and quickly departed. Walking outside into the cold, damp air of North Carolina Kim began her walk to the Sloth in the parking lot. She couldn't do it. She couldn't face him yet only to be rejected. Kim's idea was simple. Either Ron would come to realize that he had made an honest mistake and admit it or Kim would have to accomplish her dream to prove to Ron that he had done his part and they could move past this. That was her hope.
Kim looked back at the special warfare building where Ron was currently residing with his brothers in arms. She held one of her arms, biting her lip. She wasn't going to give up on Ron that easily. She could tell he was still hurt. The corner of her mouth curved up, a half-smile while she watched from the distance. A gust of wind blew with fallen leaves dancing at her feet. She couldn't help but feel proud. Ron never gave up on improving himself. Just when Kim thought that her love couldn't have become more desirable after revealing his mystical monkey powers, he went on to prove her wrong again.
I'm waiting Ron. Don't stop pushing forward. I still love you.