Author Notes: Yeah….so I could not get it out of my head for the life of me. I should be working on my other stories, but no, this one just kept poking around until I just wrote the damn thing down. I haven't read or written a Farscape story since…oh god…forever. I've thought about deleting my old stuff a few times, but I do like how far I've come as a writer. It's kind of a reminder. Anyhew, I got back into Star Trek watching the movies obsessing about them and just wishing we would get the 4th installment already. I'd love to write an actual Star Trek story idea, but…quite frankly, I feel like the best ones have been written and by far superior writers than me. Now on with the story and enough of my babbling.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I'm just playing with them, and I'll put them back unharmed….maybe.

Timeline: Star Trek Alternate Reality: After Star Trek Into Darkness. Farscape: Ehhh, I can't decide yet, lol. I think somewhere in Season 3 before or after the cloning of the two Johns.

If there are any mistakes (waves hand in front of you), these are not the mistakes you are looking for. Yeah, I did it, I Obi-Wan you!

This Has Be Illogical

A man walked into the bar. Second nature for him, he began to scan the occupants of the different races of aliens mixed around in the establishment. He was making sure to single out every patron. It was second nature. Check each creature and size them up. Deciding if they could or would be a threat or likely to run at the first hint of trouble and not be bothered. His eyes stopped scanning, falling on the man sitting alone at the bar. The individual's blonde hair looked disheveled, either jumping up from bed or getting the worse knuckle sandwich of his life. He was going to with the second due to the fresh bruises littering his features. Those were the only ones he could see at the moment. Deciding on his gut, he knew the man could not be a Peacekeeper just by the clothes alone: the first apparent reason, no pulse pistol attached to his hip. If anyone knew a Peacekeeper, they would automatically know, one would tear their damn arm off before they went anywhere without a weapon to defend themselves. The second reason, he just looked somewhat out of place, almost how John looked when he first arrived on this side of the galaxy.

As he got the bartender's attention to order himself a drink of raslak and paid, he had the drink almost to his lips when he stopped. The man who looked human opened his mouth and spoke perfect English.

"Hey…can I get another…whatever the hell that was I drank….?"

John Crichton slowly turned and looked at the male again. He could feel his mouth slightly open from the shock of hearing his language way out in the middle of the uncharted territories. It couldn't be. 'Nope, wake up, John; this has to be some dream. There is no way this is real.' John decided quickly. 'Maybe someone's messing with his head again, definitely wouldn't be the first and would not be the last.' If someone's messing with his head, he might as well get on with it.

The man must have felt John staring, for he slowly turned and looked at John.

"Why are you staring at me? You're not one of those Soldier people with a bad attitude, are you?"

John couldn't believe it. This man just spoke English again. He'd play this game for now. But then, he realized what the man had just asked him if he was a Peacekeeper. It was a mistake that happened every time John went planetside. He had gotten so used to it almost became a joke to him. The clothes didn't help. Yet, it worked out for him for the most part. Always better to blend in than be that one alien that no one had seen before. It makes them get handsy, sometimes in a good way but mainly in an awful way. John realized his mind was racing a mile a minute and knew he would have to answer before the man thought he was crazy if he didn't already.

"A Peacekeeper? Hell no."

"Wait, you can speak English; are you human?" The man's demeanor completely shifted from the slumped and guarded position to sitting up straight and welcoming as hearing his language. He was practically falling over his own feet to come to sit next down to John.

"Yes, I'm John Crichton, and you are?"

The man responded, "James Tiberius Kirk."

"Wow, your Mom must hate you, naming you after a T.V. character."

Jim's eyes frowned at that statement, not sure why the first thing he would say was to insult his name. "She didn't name me after a T.V. character."

"Okay, next, you're going to tell me you're the Captain of the Starship Enterprise, yeah, and I'm Mr. Spock," starting to take a sip of his raslak.

"I'm not sure how you know about myself or Spock or any of my crew, but I do not need to sit here and validate myself to someone I don't even know. I've had a long couple of days, and it was nice to finally hear my language since I'm in some part of the universe that is no doubt not my own. I would have no reason to lie about my name." Jim was sitting there waiting for a response from John. Jim did not think the conversation would go this way when he first sat down next to John Crichton. All Jim wanted was to find out more about the universe he was currently stuck in and how to get home if all possible. Instead, he was sitting here trying to convince this man he was James T. Kirk.

John could see the man truly believed himself to be Jim Kirk. This man was no William Shatner, not to mention he had some of the bluest eyes he had ever seen on anyone, and that was including himself who had the same eye color. Not to mention, this Kirk did not speak with a cadence that Shatner had and was famous for it. So it couldn't be someone messing with his head because why would he pick a random person and make them into one of his favorite T.V. show characters? The man looked like he was ready to get up and leave if he didn't start believing him or at least try and explain why he didn't think Kirk to be who he said he was.

John cleared his thoughts as he spoke up as to why he didn't believe Jim. "Because first off, Captain James T. Kirk is from the show Star Trek and second, you sure as hell do not look like William Shatner, the actor who played him."

"Show?" Confusion hit Jim's face again. "Are you talking about those things they watched in the twenty-first century?"

"Television, movies?"

"Yeah, that's it. To my recollection, there was never a Star Trek, but there was a John Crichton who catapulted humans into space. He was never heard from or seen from again. It was considered a loss but a national hero not only to the United States but to humankind for paving the wave for us to explore outside of our solar system. Wait, are you saying you are thee, John Crichton?" Now it was Jim Kirk's turn to question the name. "I mean that would make you," Jim looking up real quick, doing the math in his head, "at least a hundred years old, two hundred and thirty-four if we go by my birthdate."

How could this be real? There had to be some logical explanation. In John's world, Star Trek was a cult culture phenomenon ingrained into America's society, scratch that, hell, the world's pop culture. Who didn't know who Captain Kirk or Spock, and the Enterprise crew? It was hard to find someone who didn't get a reference from the beloved show. Hell, even himself had used Star Trek lingo or said he was one of the characters to confuse Moya's crew or bad guy of the week. But, in Jim's world, Star Trek was never around, but John still created the Farscape project and still went down a wormhole. So this has to be illogical, and he was dreaming because thinking about it would start making his head hurt.

"You look a little young to be a Captain of a Starship." John had more advantage over Kirk; he knew everything about Jim Kirk and his entire backstory because of the T.V. show and not to mention the movies that would follow suit. It was by far one of his favorite shows as a kid and what had driven him to go towards the hard sciences and ultimately follow his father's footsteps and join the astronaut program.

Jim Kirk let out a bit of a laugh, "Well, when you save the planet and the very new flagship from being destroyed by a pissed-off Romulan; I guess you get promoted early." Of course, thinking to himself, when your entire graduating class gets wiped out, people are going to be promoted way earlier and rise through the ranks as well.

"Wait, so you didn't serve on the U.S.S. Farragut?"

Jim shook his head, "No, that got destroyed along with seven to nine other ships." Though it seemed John knew a hell of a lot more about Jim and his life and crew than Jim knew about Crichton. Yet, it seemed some details were different from how John remembered them from the show, the alternate realities coming into effect. He was not going to release the information about Older Spock coming back to their timeline and changing everything. Not yet, at least. John was still someone he honestly did not know and could all of a sudden be his enemy. It was hard to say in this universe he was currently stuck in.

"What about you? What happened to you? Everyone thought you were dead." Jim was asking as he finished his glass of raslak.

"Long story short? Wormhole gobbled me up and spat me out here, in this wonderful, amazing universe."

Jim laughed out a short laugh, "Yeah, wonderful. It seems like everyone is just pissed off at everyone for no reason."

"Buddy, you don't know the half of it." John could not believe he was sitting here having the equivalent of a beer with the famous Captain James T. Kirk. It dawned on him to ask finally. "Wait, how did you get here? Where is the U.S.S. Enterprise, your crew?" John looked past Jim half expecting to see Spock or Dr. McCoy, but if Jim Kirk looked different, who was to say they looked anything like how John remembered or if they even existed. But before Jim could even answer John's question, somebody's commanding voice had everyone turning towards the door.

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP, HUMAN!"

Both Kirk and Crichton stood and threw their hands up.

"ARE THERE AFTER YOU?" Both Jim and John said as they pointed at each other, and then turned and pointed at themselves and spoke at the same time, "THEY ARE AFTER ME!"

"Crichton? Well, this is a nice surprise. We came here for him," pointing to Jim, "but this is definitely an added bonus."

"Gentlemen or ladies can't see who's under those helmets. I'd love to do it again sometime, but honestly, I have to disincline your acquiesce to your request," Jim paused for effect, as the Peacekeepers looked at one another trying to figure out what Jim had just said due to the translator microbes having a hard time translating what he had just said, "means no."

Then using the moment of confusion to grab his chair he had previously been sitting on, and winged it as hard as he could towards those standing brandishing weapons at them. Jim using the distraction to make a hasty exit towards the door. John Crichton, not one to use an opportunity when it presented itself, took after Jim.

John followed Jim as they ducked and dashed through the market to try and lose their tail, but they were not having much luck gaining ground away from their advisories. Jim yelled in surprise as a pulse pistol blast came very close to hitting his leg. He dove behind a wall as John went to the opposite side.

"Maybe it's time to give them a piece of Winona."

John released his pistol from its holster and started shooting towards the Peacekeepers, keeping them a fair distance away who were trying desperately to get to them in return. He could tell by how they had been aiming; the Peacekeepers were trying to hurt, not kill. He momently wondered what Jim had done to attract their attention and the particular interest in the Captain. It couldn't be good.

"You named your weapon?" Jim called over to John. Kirk wished at that moment in time that he had a phaser himself. So he would be helpful in this situation they both found themselves in. Jim hated feeling so defenseless.

John could almost feel the heat rise in his cheeks at the embarrassment of Jim's question. He knew just by looking at Jim he was considerably younger, hell probably closer to the age of Chiana than him. Yet, he couldn't help deep down within that he wanted to impress this kid. But then, a blast pulled him from his thoughts quickly as Kirk yelled over him.

"We can't keep getting pinned like this. It's only a matter of time before they send someone around and outflank us." Kirk yelled. Daring to peek around the corner so he could get an eye on what the soldiers were doing. Jim, from his position, assumed was a Squad Leader or Commander giving instructions to the other Peacekeepers. Kirk was a strategic leader. It would be something he would do. Distract your prey long enough while you move to attack from behind and to box your target from escape. Hell, he had done it.

Back in his Academy Years. It was part of the Command Track Program to do Situation Training Exercises lanes or S.T.X. for short, at the end of the year of every term. Put everything they had learned into a grueling month-long field exercise. It would be from learning how to handle an ambushed landing party to moving your element and getting the upper hand. He had been a first-year cadet, and his platoon had taken out a fourth-year platoon playing the enemy. He hadn't made many friends that day. When you can outshine those, who are so close to graduating and about to work on real-life starships, for some reason pisses people off. But it wasn't his fault that they failed to read up on the history of the military engagements of the U.S. Army and Marine Corps from past learning experiences. Then again, he wasn't going to announce he had an eidetic memory either, so remembering a lot of tactical maneuvers from previous engagements of the U.S. military and even foreign was a cakewalk for him. He indeed did have an advantage, and he would be dumb not to use it.

Nodding his head in agreement with Kirk's assessment, John hit his comm.

"Aeryn, we need a quick getaway."

"What did you do now, Crichton?" Ka D'Argo bellowed over the comms, responding for Aeryn before she could utter a response.

"Damn, why do you assume it's me? I wasn't even talking to you!" Crichton asked innocently.

"Because it usually is you." Chiana said in her soothing, almost seductive voice.

"Yeah, yeah yeah, will need to do a scoop and run."

"Got it, John. Just give me your coordinates." D'Argo was not wasting any more time arguing over the comms as to what John did or didn't do to cause them to be running away for what felt like the hundredth time.

John rattled out the coordinates for where they could pick them up in the transporter pod and told them to look for pulse blasts.

"How are they getting us, transportation shuttle or a beam out?" Jim asked, wondering how they would do the scoop and run—wondering what kind of technology these individuals had. He was leaning towards the shuttle, seeing that most of their tech was less advanced than the Federation and Starfleet.

"Yeah, sorry about that, we don't have a Scotty to beam us up." John couldn't hold back the smile even though they were in a middle of a firefight. All the references he could now say, and someone would get them. Unfortunately, though, Jim Kirk was way the hell into the future, so some references were still going to fall on deaf ears. Yet, he'd get some of his Star Trek references. This was going to be so much fun for John.

"Go ahead, Kirk. I'll cover you."

John felt like a little kid playing with fake phasers and reacting to his favorite scenes from Star Trek. That changed when a pulse blast connected above his head and shattering some wall above him, dusting him with chunks, making him realize he needed to stop having ADHD moments in a damn firefight.

When John had said he'd cover him, Jim Kirk had taken off at a good pace making sure to throw a few zig-zags along the way to make sure nobody was able to aim at him as he moved to get to the clearing where the supposed transportation should be arriving. He hated being the one to run and not finish a fight, but he was the one without the weapon currently and would be more of a hindrance than able to help in this type of situation. Kirk had cleared the buildings, and he saw what looked like a transportation vehicle landing which he assumed would be the ones that had come to their rescue. Taking a quick glance to see if Crichton was following behind, Jim felt something or someone grabbed him into a tackle from his right. Limbs and legs were entangled as he was brought down to the ground hard and all his air from Jim's lungs left with a grunt as the person landed very heavily on top of him.

Getting his bearings quickly, he was able to see it was the Soldiers in black uniform who did precisely what Jim feared. They had outflanked them. He still had no idea what they wanted from him. He wasn't even from this part of the universe or why he had pissed these locals off. He saw another Soldier running up to help subdue him, and he felt his stomach drop, wondering where John's alleys were or John himself. The man had effectively pinned him to the ground, but Jim wasn't going to be taken so easily. The man was trying to capture his flailing arms, which Jim frantically made sure to keep them free. It would be game over if they put restraints on him.

Then out of know where Kirk heard a snapping sound, and the man convulsed and fell over. The second Soldier went down as well. He only had a second to track what had taken down the Peacekeepers. It had come from what resembled almost like a Klingon. It looked as though it was irritated, but that was taking a wild guess, "Did you just…knock them out with your tongue?" He asked in disbelief and bewilderment.

John had just come up and helped Jim get the Peacekeeper off of him and then held his hand out as Jim used it to take it and stand up.

"Let's go, Crichton." D'Argo gives John a look as to say, why were they still standing there chit-chatting when Peacekeepers on the planet were actively hunting them. D'Argo turned his back to start walking towards the transporter pod to bring his point across.

"He's coming with us." John was saying as he began to follow the Luxan.

Jim, on the other hand, had not moved from his spot, watching the scene unfold. He believed this alien did not want him on this transporter ship. ]

"We do not need another Sebacean on our ship." D'Argo was calling over his shoulder.

"He's human, like me. He's coming with D. This is not up for debate."

D'Argo growled as he stopped walking. He hated the idea of bringing on another crew member onto Moya. Another mouth to feed. Another person to try and betray them or bring danger on their heads. They already had enough drama to last them a lifetime. But deep down, D'Argo knew that if it were a Luxan standing before them and not a human, he'd do the same thing that John was demanding. He would never leave a fellow Luxan behind who needed aid. Yet, he found himself still not easily so trusting of other species, notably humans. They looked so frelling similar to sebaceans, not to mention the whole incident on the fake Earth and how humans would perceive them if they ever did go their planet. Finally, comprehending he had no other choice, D'Argo turned around and took a few steps, so he was towering over Jim. He growled, "Fine, but I'm watching you."

Jim Kirk didn't say anything smart ass just nodded his head in compromise. He didn't want to risk losing the only help he had received since coming to this dreadful place.

D'Argo saying no more, whipped back around and climbed the stairs. John turned around and grinned. "Don't worry about him. His bark is worse than his bite. Think of him as a Klingon, but…nicer." Jim nodded and was about to start walking, but Crichton stopped suddenly put his hand out as he remembered something. "Stay away from Chiana. She means well…but yeah, I'll explain later."

"Okay, what's a Chiana?" Jim had no idea what a Chiana was and why he should stay away, but he had no other option but to heed John's warning but didn't stop him from being curious.

"Oh, you'll know, trust me." John smirked and turned back around. Shrugging his shoulders, Jim trailed after John up the stairs.

The transportation stairs rose as it sealed the access to outside, and then a few seconds it was lifting from the ground and shooting up into the sky, leaving the planet.

The Peacekeepers had made it out of the alleyway just as Moya's transport pod cleared the ground and moved to the sky. The two who the Luxan had brought down were waking up and slowly moving to stand.

They knew Moya's crew would be long gone by the time they reached their ship that was orbiting in space. The Commander and his team had failed to capture their target and John Crichton. But worse if they did not report their findings. "You," pointing to one of his subordinates, "Get in contact with Scorpius. He's going to want to know the target has linked up with John Crichton." Then, pointing to another Peacekeeper beside him, "You plot a trajectory that the leviathan would have taken. We are going to go pursue until ordered otherwise. MOVE."

The Commander knew Scorpius was going to be furious at them. Yet, if two targets were together instead of apart, it would be much easier to capture both of them simultaneously than having to hunt them separately. If he could be the one to capture the elusive Crichton and this new target Kirk, the promotion and merit that would come with it. Not to mention he would be in charge of a Command Carrier in only a few cycles guaranteed. He turned on his heel to carry out their mission and orders with no more thought to the matter.

The End

End Notes: I kept going over in my head how Kirk could meet John and so forth, and I just decided that maybe Kirk got pulled into a wormhole/anomaly and was spat out into John's universe. Hell, if older Spock can come back and change everything, then this can happen, lol. Just work with me, dammit. Maybe I'll write a story of how Kirk ended up in the Uncharted Territories. Will see. I just wanted to see the two J's be together. So yeah,….I want to write more, but I have no idea where the hell to take this. I just had to get it out of my head because it would NOT STOP NAGGING at me. Cheerio