(TW: I will be talking about sexual assault in this chapter. If you remember, I mentioned this before, so if you remember "The Big Bang Job", then you may know where this is going. I will be putting markers in the chapter itself when I get to that point in time, so if these things trigger you, you may skip over those parts. And as always, my messages are always open if you want to talk. I'll listen.)
First Person POV (Kaira)
It was in the middle of the day in sunny Boston. I was sitting next to Eliot at the bar with Nate around the bar corner. We were meeting a client. A young woman named Miss Schaevel who had lost her grandfather, a homeless vet, and his body was found in the water. Dumped like he was garbage. Needless to say, I was pissed and ready to take the target down.
But before I did that, I needed to listen to the client meeting. "So, Boston P.D took this as part of an investigation?" Nate questioned.
"More like that was the investigation." Miss Schaevel said.
"How do you mean?" Eliot asked.
"Their whole attitude was when a homeless man died in a river, it's not a crime - it's a heart attack. I had to pay for the autopsy myself." Miss Schaevel explained.
"What did it conclude?" I asked.
"Heart attack." Miss Schaevel said.
"Miss Schaevel, I'm sorry for your loss, but this is really not the sort of thing -" Nate said.
"They moved his body. Look." Miss Schaevel brought out a flier.
"This is a call for volunteers to participate in experiments studying sleep patterns of people with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." Miss Schaevel explained.
"Your dad had PTSD?" Eliot questioned.
"You know, just a little something to remember Vietnam by. That's where he was when he died. Look, you have to understand, these university experiments are run by undergrads. I mean, kids - literally." Miss Schaevel said.
"Okay, so y-y-you're saying that you think your dad died, the kids panicked, they tried to hide his body." Nate said, trying to piece together this thing.
"I think that they thought that because he was homeless, nobody would notice, I mean, much less care. I mean, help me prove them wrong." Miss Schaevel said.
Nate was reluctant, but I was fully in, and I gave Nate a look silently telling him that. "I thought what you guys did was help people when nobody else would." Miss Shaevel said.
"We do. And we will." I said, telling Eliot and Nate we were in.
She left and I finished my coffee. I was the first to leave after downing the rest of the coffee I had in my coffee up. I met the rest of the team in the office.
We were gathered around the table, Eliot, then me, then Sophie, Nate, then Parker. Hardison at the screen, pulling up the briefing.
"Travis Zilgram. He's a 22-year-old senior with a concentration in Psychology. Now, the experiment seems to be his honors thesis, and it's a sleep study on patients with PTSD. Until recently, they held these experiments in, like, a private farm facility, but after Shaevel's death, they moved it here, to the basement of the University Psychology building. Now, most people would dive into the question of, why did they move? I, however, am not most people." Hardison said, pulling up the picture of the building.
"You want to skip the "behold my genius" part and just tell us what you found?" Nate said.
"All right, all right, look. In addition to studying psychology, Travis also serves as the Student President of the Order of the 206. Part fraternity, part secret society, it was originally formed in 1874 by a group of University Physicians and Shakespearean Scholars. 206 refers to the number of bones in the human body. Which is why they refer to each other as Dustmen." Hardison explained.
"Titus Andronicus." Sophie said, getting excited.
"Yeah." Hardison pointed to Sophie.
"I will grind your bones into dust and, with your blood and it, make a paste." Nate said.
I was kinda disgusted. "Disgusting." I muttered.
"Mm. Clever." Parker muttered.
Most of the team looked at her. "C-creepy. It's creepy." Parker corrected.
"It's not as creepy as the number of Dustmen that hold high positions in intelligence agencies around the world. You got CIA, MI6, NSA, Mossad." Eliot explained.
"It's a feeder fraternity for spies." Nate added.
Hardison pulled up the file, which most of it was redacted, which was odd. "You gotta be kidding me." I muttered.
"Well, the file that the Boston P.D had on Shaevel's death was closed within an hour and sealed by a federal order." Hardison explained.
"Somebody with a lot of juice is protecting Zilgram. Dustmen take care of one another." Eliot said. I got really pissed, and I couldn't hold it in.
"You're telling me that because this asshat is a part of some cult with members on high, he can get away with murder! He can toss someone out like their garbage and it all goes away for him to do it again? What the hell?" I take a breath, calming myself down.
"Sorry. Just this guy really pisses me off." I take another breath.
"So a Dustman on high in the government who can get a federal order within an hour is protecting Zilgram." I bring us back in line.
"Yeah, but which Dustmen? What are they protecting?" Nate asked.
Sophie got out her phone. "Well, why don't we just try asking, for a change?" Sophie got out her phone and dialed a number.
"Hello. Yeah. Travis Zilgram, please." Sophie said. She turned to us.
"I'm on hold." Sophie reported. It was a minute before Sophie spoke again.
"Who am I? I'm the cop holding a warrant with your name on it." Sophie said.
She went silent for a moment. "Well, I got it reopened. Merry Christmas, mother-" Sophie stopped as she got hung up on.
I try not to chuckle at Sophie's ending. "He hung up." She said.
"Shocking." Nate said.
"Safe to assume Zilgram's on the move?" Hardison questioned.
"Ever been quail hunting, Hardison?" Nate asked.
"Do I look like I go quail hunting?" Hardison pointed out.
"Ask him something like, you ever played a video game where you go quail hunting?" Eliot said.
"You see, the birds, understandably - they don't like to be shot." Nate explained.
"So they hide in the bushes. When you hunt, you have to beat the bushes with a stick. That way, you scare the birds into the sky, and there's a man waiting there with a gun and good aim, and he-" Parker clicked her tongue to imidate a gun going off. "Picks them off." Parker finished explaining.
"That is seriously messed up. Why would y'all tell me something like that? Why do you know that?" Hardison questioned.
"So basically, we're gonna beat the bush to see who Travis's inside man is." I summed up.
"Okay, Sophie, Eliot, go to Boston P.D. Try to get in a little trouble. Hardison, Kaira, you're with me." Nate said.
"Where we going?" Nate asked.
"Quail hunting." Nate said, grabbing his coat.
"Obviously." Parker pointed out.
I compose myself and get ready to leave. I waited for Hardison to get Sophie and Eliot's cover stories set and equipment ready. While I was waiting, I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. I stood by the fridge, just trying to calm myself down.
Just then, I saw Nate and Sophie walking up to me. "Hey, kiddo." Nate said.
"Hey. I'm sorry about going off earlier." I said apologetically.
"It's okay, darling." Sophie gave me a warm smile. Her smile caused me to smile.
"Just hearing the daughter talk about her dad, I was reminded of my own dad." I explained.
"Did he serve?" Nate asked me.
"Yeah. He got out a little bit after I was born cause he got injured. He was okay for a while, or at least I thought so, but when Kasey got sick, it was like he did a complete 180." I explained, trying to keep calm.
Those times weren't exactly the best.
"Your father had PTSD?" Sophie asked me.
"Yeah. Undiagnosed. My mom kept pushing for him to get help, but between the stigma of men and mental heath, especially with soldiers, cuppled he couldn't get therapist appointments insured through the military, and we couldn't afford the out-of-pocket." I could see the confused looks on Nate and Sophie.
"When my mom moved to Boston with my dad, me, and Kasey, she cut herself off from her family's resources. It was her way of trying to be independent and to start a better life. So this all hits a bit close to home for me." I explained. Sophie put her hand on my shoulder.
"Your mom and dad would be proud of you, darling." Sophie gave me a smile.
"So would Kasey." Nate grabbed my other shoulder.
I smiled and hugged both of them.
"Thank you." I whispered.
I heard Hardison yell that he got everything ready. So, I let go of Nate and Sophie, nodded I was okay, then got ready to leave.
Third Person POV (Sophie and Eliot)
Eliot and Sophie were in a meet with a detective to get the records. Eliot was on the phone.
"Yeah, she's not gonna settle for anything under $30,000 in case you do not close this deal. I got to call you back." Eliot pretended to hang up the phone.
"You the ones requesting the records on the Schaevel death?" A female blond detective, who they knew to be Detective Grayland, walked in.
"Guilty as charged." Sophie said.
"That's Carla Crim." Eliot pointed to Sophie. Sophie shook hands with Grayland.
"Carla Crim, novelist, True Crime Variety." Sophie introduced herself.
"Yeah, well, those records you requested - sealed by a federal order." Grayland said.
"No idea what that means." Sophie turned to Eliot.
"She doesn't." Eliot whispered.
"I live in a monarchy." Sophie said.
"It means in this country, politics trumps justice every time." Grayland explained.
"But you think there was a case." Eliot pointed out.
"Oh." Sophie breathed out.
"A rookie on his first day could have told you that body was dumped. And generally, people don't move a body unless they got something to hide. I-I'm sorry. You came a long way. Wish I had something more to give you." Grayland said, getting ready to leave.
"What if I wanted to get to know you better? Maybe... take you to dinner, you know, talk shop, exchange certain things unofficially?" Eliot said, putting on the charm.
Grayland readied the file. "To anybody who knows me, it's probably best if she calls me." Grayland said, handing the file to Sophie.
Sophie grabbed the file, a little surprised. "Oh? Uh... ohh." Sophie realized what Grayland meant. (A/N I'm sorry, I'm laughing so hard writing this! Eliot, remember the last time you flirted with Lesbians? Cause I'm pretty sure you got beat up.)
"Guess I accidentally left that file behind. I'll be back in five minutes." Grayland said, leaving.
First Person POV (Kaira)
Nate, Hardison, and I were waiting in the bushes, Nate and I pointing our binoculars at the Travis, who was standing next to his car, as Hardison had sound equipment to listen to his conversation.
Nate went to grab something at the car, so it was just me and Hardison. He looked at me.
"You okay, Kaira?" Hardison asked me.
"Would you believe me if I said yes?" I asked him.
"No. No I wouldn't." Hardison said.
I chuckled a bit. "These past few jobs just have been bringing up a lot of memories I thought I had gotten over." I explained.
"What kind of memories?" Hardison asked me.
"Things from my past. Mostly from my Moreau days." I explained.
"Kaira, you know you're not the woman you were back then, right?" Hardison looked at me.
"I know. But somedays." I said.
"You're my friend, Kaira. I'm here. You can talk to me, you know that." Hardison said.
"I know, Hardison." I smiled at him. Nate came back.
Travis was calm, and not worried about Sophie's phone call.
"Kid's making me nervous." Nate said.
"He's not doing anything." Hardison said.
"Yeah, but that's my point, you know? I mean, he should be panicking, and he's not." Nate pointed out.
"Yeah. If I got a call like the one he got, I would be running for the hills." I said, getting a bit nervous waiting.
"He's just a kid, Nate. How bad could it get?" Hardison said.
Nate lowered the binoculars. "How many grown men said that about you while you were raining digital fire down on their lives?" Nate questioned, looking at Hardison.
Hardison and I chuckled. "Now I'm nervous." Hardison dropped the act quickly.
Hardison sighed, but then started looking around.
"What is it, Hardison?" I asked him.
"I'm getting some weird feedback. It's like a - like a whumpa-whumpa." Hardison pointed out.
"Wait. What do you mean? What kind of whumpa-whumpa?" Eliot asked over comms.
"I mean, how many kinds are there?" Hardison asked.
I slightly chuckle, but get nervous. "There's seven of them. Is it whumpa-pop whumpa-pop?" Eliot asked.
"Are you being serious right now?" Hardison asked.
"Hardison!" Eliot growled.
"Yes, he is. Now, tell us." I growled, getting impatient.
"It's like a-a whumpa-tink whumpa-tink." Hardison explained.
"We need to get out, now." I said.
Just then, a helicopter flew above us.
"Yeah, well, it's too late." Nate said.
We watch as the helicopter lands close to the car. A few men, wearing black and white suits came out, and an older guy with a red tie walked to Travis, shaking his hand.
"Nate, Kaira, who do you think that is?" Hardison asked us.
"The CIA." Nate said.
I'm surprised Nate got it, but also not surprised.
"You know him?" Hardison asked.
"Type's easy to figure out." I pointed out.
"Dangerous." Nate said.
The more I watch them interact, the more I realize I think I know who this guy is. We leave and meet back at HQ. We gather around the island. Parker wasn't there, as she was leaving to do a task for Nate, and Sophie came back from a phone call.
"My contact at MI6 has gone AWOL, so he's off the list. You - P - are you just -che - are you checking out my -" Sophie said, and I catch Nate looking at Sophie's boobs.
"Not the time, Nate." I muttered quietly.
"No." Nate told Sophie.
"Wow." Eliot muttered.
"What?" Nate questioned.
"He's gotta be pretty high on the list. Aren't that many people anymore in the CIA that rate Heli-transport." Eliot pointed out.
The gears in my head are turning.
"Well, whoever he is, he's not afraid to take risks." Sophie pointed out.
"I told you, they take this Dustman stuff pretty seriously." Hardison reminded us.
"All right, what's the point of secret societies? Why do we form them? What's their function?" Nate asked.
"Keep secrets." Eliot said.
"Umh-unh. No, no, no. To tell secrets." Sophie said.
"Yeah, Sophie's right. Most secret societies have information that they pass down from member to member, climbing the ranks. Freemasons did it, Illuminati, most of them. At least the ones I know of." I added.
"So, if we want Zilgram's secrets, we need to become the people he tells them to." Nate said.
"How do we do that?" Hardison asked.
"By "we", he means "you", Hardison." I said, feeling bad for Hardison.
I mean, Hardison is the only one that could do it. I could cause I'm 28, but that's kind of pushing it for someone in college. Eliot, while he still looks amazing, believe me, he's too old to pass as a college student (A/N Seriously, Christan Kane was 49 when Leverage: Redemption filmed, and he's now 50! How the hell does he look so damn gorgeous!). Nate and Sophie are old enough to pass as professors. Parker is old enough to pass as a college student, but she needs to focus on the task Nate gave her. So, unfortunately, Hardison was the only one who could pass as a college student.
Third Person POV
The next day, Hardison arrived on campus, dressed like a prep school guy. He walked into a classroom.
"Nate, he's here. Just can't sit close." Hardison reported.
Meanwhile, at HQ, a very hungover Eliot was all but laying on the table, cracking eggs into a glass, Kaira behind him, grumpy, taking a couple of asprin with water, then rubbed Eliot's neck, hoping to help with the headache he definitely had, and Sophie was across, looking at the couple.
"Well, fortunately, nothing brings people together faster than a common enemy." Nate said over comms.
Eliot chugged down all the eggs, then Kaira handed him a couple of aspirin, giving him a "told you it was a bad idea" look.
"Who's the common enemy?" Sophie asked.
"Who do you think?" Nate said.
At the classroom, Nate got in front of the class, dressed like a professor. He sat his briefcase down. He told the class the other professor was under the weather.
What Nate really meant was that Eliot and Kaira got him drunk, taking shots the night before, so he was also hungover. And Kaira was stuck with a headache and a grouchy, stubborn, hungover husband. But it wasn't exactly the first time Kaira's had to deal with a hungover Eliot.
Back in class, Nate told the class that they were gonna play a game because it was a game-theory class. He got Travis in front of the class.
Parker went undercover as a freshman to get access to the experiment that was being run under the building. She was lead to a basement by another woman.
Back in the classroom, Nate set up the game by having Travis sitting in a chair. He basically demonstrated Prisoner's dilemma, saying how it was better to give up your partner first before your partner gave you up inevitably. Nate may have also been ominous with some certain details. When Nate said he was gonna prove mathematically (A/N I don't know how, I only went up to Algebra 2 and took Stats, which I don't really remember) and Hardison started clapping and mouthed off, setting himself up as a class hero who bullied the teacher.
As planned, Hardison left, and Travis followed him. He met Hardison outside the school. He asked Hardison how he knew what he talked about, but Hardison said he made it up and because "screw that guy". Travis realized he got a ticket because he parked in a handicap zone, and got upset (A/N Seriously, you're the worst kind of asshole if you park in a handicap zone and you don't have a placard.) Hardison cleared the ticket off his record. Travis invited Hardison to a party at the frat farmhouse, and left. Hardison sighed, glad that part was over, but he wasn't finished yet.
Parker had been escorted to another experiment, where it tested negative reinforcement and learning. Parker got a little fun with the buzzer, which got her escorted off the property. Once Parker was alone, she grabbed a wig and lapcoat, covering her hair and outfit, put on the badge and glasses and walked back to the hallway she was in. She put in the code and walked downstairs. She grabbed a clipboard off the wall and walked up to someone at the desk. Parker switched the papers to grab the manifest, flirting with the guy.
First Person POV (Kaira)
By the time Parker and Nate came back, Eliot and I were feeling much better from our hangovers. She gave Nate the manifest she grabbed, and left as Nate sat down with me and Eliot as we all looked at the manifest.
"Look at this manifest." Eliot said.
"Ever single one of these volunteers has the same address." Nate pointed out.
It didn't take a rocket scientist, or a mastermind, to figure out what the address was.
"It's a homeless shelter. You got to be kidding me." I said, now really hating this guy.
"Well, it makes sense. There's a lot of PTSD among the homeless." Eliot said.
"Okay, so that's where they go to recruit when it's time to start a new trial." Nate said.
"When's the next one start?" Eliot asked.
"Couple of days. What are you thinking?" Nate said.
I knew what Eliot was thinking, and I didn't like it. "No. No, no, no. Eliot, no." I objected.
"Kaira, I need to do what I do while Hardison's waiting on his invite." Eliot looked at me.
"Eliot, you do realize what these rich, entitled, assholes are gonna do to you?" I tried getting it through to Eliot.
"I know." Eliot said.
I got up and left.
Third Person POV
Eliot and Nate watched as Kaira walked out. Eliot had a sad face on, watching Kaira leave.
"You know what you're doing, Eliot?" Nate asked him.
"Yeah." Eliot said, getting up to leave.
"Oh boy." Nate muttered, going back to the manifest.
He knew there was gonna be an argument in about two minutes.
First Person POV (Kaira)
I was pacing in our kitchen in our apartment, my hands rubbing my face. Why Eliot was always the one to put himself in these situations, I do not know. It was starting to drive me crazy.
I heard the door open and shut quickly. "Kaira-" Was all I heard Eliot said, walking up to me before I went off.
"Eliot, why do you have to do this? Why do you always gotta be the one who does the hard things?" I asked him, getting some space between us.
"Because it's what I do, Kaira. I do the hard things so you or them don't have to. I always have." Eliot said, trying to close the distance between us.
I started tearing up. "And when will it be enough?" I asked Eliot, looking at him.
His expression changed to almost confusion. "What are you talking about?" Eliot asked me.
I rub my face again, realizing I let something I hadn't wanted to slip. "It's nothing, Eliot." I tried to brush it off, starting to walk, but Eliot grabbed my arm.
"Obviously it's not nothing, so please tell me." Eliot said.
I tried to get him off, but Eliot kept trying to stop me, and eventually he locked my arms in, looking in my eyes.
"Kaira, stop. Please. Don't start with your stuff, Kaira. Stop." Eliot said and I finally stop wiggling.
"What do you mean "When will it be enough"? Please." Eliot all but begged.
I take a breath. "When will it all be enough, Eliot? Are you wanting to hit people until we're old and grey? You and I both know that our bodies can't handle that. Sure, we got some good, long years ahead of us, but we can't do this forever. I can't protect you forever. You told me yourself, we're mortal. We can't live forever. Our bodies will grow old and weaker, that's how it works. So I'll ask again. When will it be enough, Eliot?" I explained.
I can't tell if Eliot's speechless, or if he's trying to come up with some response. But he lets go of me, and I walk out the door. I take a walk around the block, realizing I screwed up. I didn't want to talk to Eliot about that stuff yet. I wasn't ready. And at this point, I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready. I didn't go back to the apartment and ended up staying with Parker to crash. I just can't face Eliot at the moment.
Third Person POV
A couple of days later, the team set the plans in motion. Eliot went to the homeless shelter, dressed as a homeless person, hoping to get picked.
Hardison and Parker got ready for the party he was invited to, walking arms intertwined.
"Whoa." Hardison said, looking at all the people there, drinking champagne.
"Whoa." Eliot said, seeing just how bad the homeless shelter was.
Kaira and Sophie were at HQ, sitting on the island.
"All right, if you're selected, they'll hand you a pledge token. You'll know it when you see it. Also, you need to be mingling." Sophie said.
"I'm mingling." Hardison argued, sitting next to parker at a table.
"With someone besides Parker, Hardison. You won't get recruited unless they like you." Kaira said.
"This is - it's a bad idea. It's a real bad idea. It's bad." Hardison psyched himself out.
"Hey, Hardison, relax. Take a breath, you can do this." Kaira said, staying on the island as Sophie walked to the table.
"You've pulled off a hundred cons." Sophie added.
"Yeah, playing stereotypes, okay? Nigerian princes, Saudi Billionaires, British people - no offense. But look, Sophie, Kaira, this is different, all right? I-I got to be me, but like, cooler, and you can't fake cool." Hardison argued.
"Sure you can, Hardison. Remember "The Ice Man"? Kaira said, saying the name in a British accent.
"Which went badly, as you damn well remember, woman." Hardison said.
Kaira sighed. "Look, Hardison, you were confident. You had a gun at your neck, and you stayed calm. How many hackers do you know that can stay calm with a gun pointed at them? You were still confident. You can do this. Just, loosen up, and be the confident man I know you are, okay?" Kaira tried buttering up Hardison.
He was still reluctant. "Parker?" Sophie said.
"Come on." Parker said, getting up with Hardison.
"I don't - I don't want to get up." Hardison argued.
Parker got Hardison up. Hardison objected, but Parker walked with him.
"Remember the other night when you were playing with your pretend friends?" Parker asked Hardison.
"They're real. Look, they're - they're not pretend. They're just not in the same room with me." Hardison explained.
"They're an elf, a dwarf, and a thing with a tail. I'm pretty sure they're pretend." Parker said.
Hardison rolled his eyes. "Remember when you took the thingy with the glowing thingy and then you used it to kill the guy who was on the shiny stuff and then also there was all this magic?" Parker tried.
"I-I think so." Hardison said, amused slightly.
"That was so cool. I mean, how many people here are cool enough to kill the guy with the thing?" Parker told Hardison, trying so hard to help him.
"Yeah, you know what? You're right. That was pretty cool." Hardison said, smiling.
"Yeah." Parker kissed Hardison's cheek.
"I'm gonna get our..." Parker mimed drinks and left.
"That actually worked?" Sophie questioned.
"No. But the fact that she thought it would work - that worked." Hardison said.
Travis walked over to Hardison. "Bro, you've been in the corner since you got here. What's up?" Travis questioned Hardison.
"I'm chillin', man." Hardison brushed it off.
"Look, if you're not having a good time, you don't need to stay." Travis said.
"Hardison-" Kaira was about to give Hardison some advice when Parker bumped into him, holding a drink.
"Oh! That's probably my fault, huh?" Parker laughed as she was up against Hardison, maybe acting slightly tipsy.
"What? A guy can have his hand all over a girl, and he gets a medal for it!" Parker had her arm wrapped under Hardison, then wrapped her arm around his neck.
"But when it's the other way around, oh, suddenly, I'm a slut." Parker faced Hardison, waving his pocket square in his face.
"Well you know what? Fine!" Parker said, throwing the cloth at Travis as she wrapped her arms around Hardison's neck and kissed him hard (A/N Parker really said rule #7, huh.). Parker let go very dramatically and said, "Yeah, Take that." as she walked away.
Travis was impressed as Hardison was recovering from the kiss why taking a large sip of alcohol.
Back at the homeless shelter, Eliot was grabbing some food and started walking. "They're here. Already recruiting." Eliot reported.
"Take your time. Look for a way in." Nate said over comms.
Eliot sat down across from an older guy, "Seat's taken." He said. Eliot didn't move.
"I said, seat's taken." He repeated, getting upset.
"Take it easy, all right?" Eliot said.
The older guy went to reach for Eliot's food, so Eliot grabbed his arm and pinned it to the table. "Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't touch my food." Eliot looked at the people beside him, knowing he was getting some attention. "I just got back from Iraq, and after what I've seen over there, if you think I won't take you down, then you're crazier than I am." Eliot threatened.
"Army, right? Rangers? No. Green Berets." The guy read Eliot.
He let the guy go, getting him sat up. He shook out his hand, laughing, impressed a bit.
"Something like that. How about you?" Eliot asked.
"Semper Fi." The guy said, revealing a tricep Marine tattoo.
"You know what it means? In English? Most people don't." The guy asked.
"It means "always faithful"." Eliot said, taking a bite of his sandwich.
"That's the promise a Marine makes to his country. They don't tell you it only goes one way." The guy said.
"If this country was known for keeping its promises, we wouldn't need Marines, would we?" Eliot said.
The guy laughed. "You got that right, brother!" The guy chuckled.
Then a young guy handed an application nearby.
"Hey, if I get you in on something, you want to make a little money?" The guy asked Eliot.
Eliot was now in. \
Back at the party, Hardison was erasing police records. Hardison did end up making it in, getting a message to meet the next day, first thing in the morning, handing Hardison a chip.
"Nate... I'm in." Hardison reported.
Eliot was about to get into an unmarked van. "Nate, I'm in." Eliot reported.
Kaira was listening to everything, getting worried for Eliot. But she pushed it down for now.
Eliot made it to the campus basement, where he got new clothes and told what the deal was. Basically, each day, they get 3 meals a day, a bed, and 50 dollars. But if they walked away, they don't get the money. Eliot signed his name and made it to his cell (A/N Fun fact I noticed, on Eliot's cell wall when he walks in, there's the phrase "Let me go", which is referencing Christian Kane's song "Let Me Go", and there's a 7 on his shirt, which is referencing Christian's song "Seven Days" Both songs are on his album "Welcome to My House".) Eliot laid back in his cot, almost meditating. Just then, heavy metal blared through the speakers.
The next way early morning, Hardison did the initiation, where he was forced to strip to his boxers and forced to run to a plaque on the other side of campus.
Back at the basement, Eliot was taken to an interrogation room, where he was met by the CIA guy from earlier. Eliot sat down and it was just the two of them in the room.
"Do you know who I am?" The man asked.
"You're the guy in charge." Eliot pointed out.
The guy chuckled. "Do I look like a psychologist to you? No. I'm here dancing for my food just like you. You've got your part to play, and I've got mine." He said.
"And what's your part?" Eliot asked.
The man pulled out an envelope and pushed it to Eliot.
"Inside that envelope is a word. Go ahead. Read it." The man said.
Eliot grabbed the envelope and opened it, revealing a single word, "potato".
"You and I are gonna play a game." The guy took the envelope from Eliot and got a lighter out.
"Rules are simple. I'm gonna try to get you to tell me that word. You are gonna do whatever it takes to keep it secret." He tossed the burning envelope to the side.
"For every day you're successful, you'll earn another 100 bucks. But if I learn that word before the end of the experiment, you get nothing. I won't physically harm you, but other than that, any means necessary." The guy said.
Kaira and Nate were both listening to the conversation at HQ, with Kaira biting her finger, worried.
"Do you really think promising not to hurt me is your best first move?" Eliot asked.
"Well, haven't you heard? Torture doesn't work." The guy said.
"Depends on the torture. Depends on the man. When do we start?" Eliot said.
"We started as soon as you walked into this room. Where have you been?" The guys said, getting menacing and in Eliot's face as he stood up.
"Don't you eyeball me, leech. I don't want you in my room anymore than you want to be here. So why don't you do us both a favor and tell me the word? Cause if you make me work for this, I'm not gonna send you home with your tail between your legs. I'm gonna cut the damn thing off! I'm gonna break you into pieces!" The man threatened, getting angry.
Eliot didn't bat an eye. "So we start tomorrow, then?" Eliot questioned.
Kaira was worried about what Eliot was gonna have to endure.
Back on the campus, Hardison continued the initiation.
In the basement, Eliot was escorted back to his cell.
"Nate, Kaira, this experiment is not about sleep. They got a professional interrogator in here. I think they're trying to find new ways to break people." Eliot reported.
The heavy metal music started up loud. Eliot covered his comm ear.
"They're not trying to cure PTSD! They're trying to cause it!" Eliot reported.
Kaira was nervous. As if she hadn't predicted it earlier, she now knew it. Eliot was gonna be tortured. Some time later, when Eliot was getting food, he went to check on a fellow veteran. He got yelled at for talking and went to eat.
Hardison was at his dorm room, jailbreaking some phones.
When Eliot was on his way back to his cell, someone nearly collapsed, and Eliot caught them, telling them they were okay, and Eliot caught the taser but realized he can't beat the guy up, so he let himself get tased.
Kaira and Sophie may have helped Hardison a bit with the wine tasting later.
Eliot once again was in the interrogation room.
Kaira was listening from the HQ.
The guy stared at Eliot. "You ever count them?" The man asked.
"Counted what?" Eliot asked.
"You know. The people you've killed?" The guy asked.
Eliot just stared at him.
"Give me a ballpark. It's got to be a big number, right?" The guy said.
"You think asking me about my past is gonna open up old wounds? Maybe put me off balance a little? Make me easier to break?" Eliot questioned, stone faced.
"I'm just trying to get to know you better." The man leaned back in his seat.
"Why does that question make you so nervous? Is that what all this is for you? Are you trying to punish yourself for the things you've done? I think that's it. I think the reason why you won't give me your word and walk out that door is cause you think you deserve to be here." The guy said.
"What do you want to know? Names? Dates? Locations? You want to know what food was on their breath? Their eyes - what color their eyes were? You want to know the last words they spoke? You want to know which ones deserved it... or better yet, the ones that didn't? Do you want to know which ones begged? Do you know why I remember these things?" Eliot said.
The guy got scared.
"I don't know." He said.
"You don't know? Cause I can't forget. So there's nothing you can do, no punishment you can hand out that's worse than what I live with every day. So, to answer your question, no. No, I haven't counted. I don't need to." Eliot said.
The guy moved finally and needed a break.
"All right, we're - we're done for the day." The guy said.
Kaira tried not to get emotional, hearing what Eliot said. Cause she knew what he meant.
First Person POV (Kaira)
It was night at HQ. I was standing next to Hardison at his laptop as Nate put up the picture of the CIA guy they saw from the helicopter. Poor Hardison was so tired.
"He's the CIA guy from the chopper. They call him Mr. Conrad. He's definitely the one protecting Zilgram." Hardison pointed out.
"That's got to be our focus. We got to find a way to make him believe that protecting Zilgram is not worth his trouble." Nate explained.
"How?" I asked Nate.
"Won't be easy, Nate. The Brotherhood of Dust runes bone deep. I'm so sleep-deprived, I'm starting to talk like them. This rush weel is torture." Hardison said.
I shoot Hardison a look, warning him to watch what he said. I heard air hissing on the comms.
"What's that noise?" Hardison asked.
"That's my teeth shattering. It's 20 degrees in here, but at least there's no music. But don't worry about me, Hardison. You got rush weel to deal with." Eliot said.
Nate had left to formulate next steps in the plan. Hardison had seen how worried I was about Eliot, so he told me how to use the comms, and how to put me and Eliot's on a different frequency. So, he did and went back to the dorm.
I got the comms on and was alone. "Eliot?" I said into the comms.
"Kaira?" Eliot came over comms, still shivering.
"Hey, Cowboy. How you holding up?" I asked.
"I'm okay. Kaira, you should get some sleep, okay?" Eliot all but ordered me.
"I'm not that tired yet." I said. I took a breath. "Look, I want to explain some things. Things related to how I've been lately." I said.
"You don't have to explain anything, Kaira." Eliot said.
"No, I do." I insisted. I took another breath. "I'm sorry about our argument." I said when Eliot cut me off.
"It's okay, Kaira." Eliot said.
"No, it's not. I'm sorry. Just lately I've been thinking a lot. About a lot of things." I explained.
I was trying to hold back tears. "If I'm being honest, I haven't been the same since we took down Moreau. Ever since I left Moreau, it's been this shadow that's been following me. I thought I left that behind when we joined this team. But then Nate said we had to take him down, and I panicked. I didn't want you, or Hardison, or Parker, Nate, and Sophie to get hurt. Then we had to towards the end, and it was the worst thing I could think of. Then we went to that hotel, and seeing Chapman again, and Moreau, it nearly killed me. Going back to that cold, dark place I was in. It reminded me of the worst part of me. The worst thing that happened to me. All of it I was reminded of. Then the warehouse happened, and I didn't look at myself the same. I mean, I killed Chapman and that whole room of people. I thought I had left all that behind, Eliot." I said.
"Kaira, we left that behind. We did. We got out. Don't put that all on yourself. I did that too. You stayed so I wouldn't carry the burden alone, remember? So don't." Eliot reminded me.
I took another breath, knowing Eliot was right.
"I remember. And you're right." I said.
I smiled a bit to calm down.
"After all the stuff that happened with Moreau, I wanted to forget and move on. But we barely had any time to move on before the next job. And then Hardison finding the bug, and figuring out Latimer was behind it. When we were listing off the names of possible suspects, I realized just how high up we were on the chain. And when you're that high up." I said.
"It's a long way down." Eliot said.
"Yeah. And it hit me just how high up we were. And then I got terrified. The idea of losing any of you, it killed me. And with what happened with Parker nearly getting hurt at Verd Agra, then nearly getting shot while we were getting Hardison out of the grave, and then you getting really hurt at the carnival, it reminded me of how fragile you all were. And I got scared. And these last few jobs, they've just been reminders of my past. Kasey being on my mind when we took on the Wicket's, Sherman knowing who I was even though I never met him, then Dubai, getting drugged reminded me of that night at Moreau's party. I hated feeling that week again." I explained.
I had put it all off the table. I rubbed my face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do vent." I said.
"It's okay, Kaira. I get how you're feeling. And we'll work through it, okay? Just as we've always done." Eliot said.
"I know." I said. I can't help but smile a bit. "Thanks, babe." I said.
"You're welcome, Princess." Eliot said.
"Get some rest, okay?" I said. I was about to leave when Eliot said, "Kaira."
"What?" I said.
"Can you sing to me please?" Eliot asked me.
"Of course." I smile a bit.
You got a fast car. I want a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we make a deal. Maybe together we can get somewhere. Any place is better. Starting from zero, got nothing to lose. Maybe we'll make something Me, myself, I got nothing to prove.
You got a fast car. I got a plan to get us out of here. I been working at the convenience store. Managed to save just a little bit of money. Won't have to drive too far. Just 'cross the border and into the city. You and I can both get jobs. And finally see what it means to be living.
See, my old man's got a problem. He lives with the bottle, that's the way it is. He says his body's too old for working. His body's too young to look like his. My mama went off and left him. She wanted more from life than he could give. I said, somebody's got to take care of him. So I quit school and that's what I did.
You got a fast car. Is it fast enough so we can fly away? We gotta make a decision. Leave tonight or live and die this way.
So I remember we were driving, driving in your car. Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us. And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder. And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged. I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone.
You got a fast car. We go cruising to entertain ourselves. You still ain't got a job. And I work in a market as a checkout girl. I know things will get better. You'll find work and I'll get promoted. We'll move out of the shelter. Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs.
So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car. Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us. And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder. And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged. I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone.
You got a fast car. I got a job that pays all our bills. You stay out drinking late at the bar. See more of your friends than you do of your kids. I'd always hoped for better. Thought maybe together you and me would find it. I got no plans, I ain't going nowhere. So take your fast car and keep on driving.
So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car. Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us. And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder. And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged. I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone.
You got a fast car. Is it fast enough so you can fly away? You gotta make a decision. Leave tonight or live and die this way.
I finish singing, smiling.
"Thank you." Eliot said.
"Get some rest, Cowboy." I said.
I finally turned around to go to me and Eliot's apartment, but when I turn, I see Parker, standing by the door. "Jesus Christ!" I jump a bit, but calm down.
"Parker, what are you doing here?" I asked her.
She's stunned. "That song was beautiful, Kaira." Parker said. I chuckle.
"Thanks." I said but quickly realize something.
"Wait, how long have you been standing there?" I asked.
"Long enough." She said.
"Shit." I muttered.
"What do you want to know, Parker?" I asked, looking at Parker.
"What song was that?" Parker asked me.
"It's one of my favorite songs. Eliot and I sometimes sing it to each other. It's our promise to each other that we'd have a normal life." I smile a bit.
"That sounds cool." Parker said.
"It is." I said, a small smile on my face.
"I didn't know you getting drugged by Sterling brought up that memory. What happened?" Parker asked.
I take a breath, knowing what I was gonna have to say. Parker sat next to me at the briefing table and grabbed my hand.
(TW For Sexual Assult, Drugging)
"When I-Eliot and I worked for Moreau, he would always host these big parties. Lots of women, booze, and money. During one of these parties, I was at the bar, and Eliot was off to the side, watching the crowd. One of Moreau's guys, Chapman, was flirting with me all night, buying me drinks and shots all night. I was tipsy. I was flattered because Chapman was one of Moreau's top guys. So, I didn't think anything of it. But then I remembered feeling woozy, and then I blacked out. I woke up in a hotel bed, Eliot sitting at the edge of the bed. I was sore everywhere. My memory from after I blacked out was gone. Once Eliot calmed me down, he explained what had happened. He said that he saw Chapman walking with me to the cellar. Eliot saw how loopy I was, tripping, slurring my words. So he followed Chapman and me. By the time Eliot found me, I was on the floor, bruised bloodied, and barely awake, with my clothes torn all to Hell. Chapman was zipping his pants up." I try not to cry as the memories come flooding back.
Parker's also upset.
End of TW
"Eliot told Chapman off and threatened to tell Moreau about what had happened. Chapman said, "Who do you think ordered this to happen?" Moreau had this obsession with me, and it was his sick way of controlling me. When Eliot got Chapman away, he took me to a hotel room, got me cleaned up, and put me to bed, since we couldn't risk taking me to the hospital or risking contacting the police." I explained.
I calm myself down, and I realize Parker is almost crying. "I'm so sorry." Parker said.
"It happened a long time ago, Parker. Thinking of it now, that was when I realized that Eliot and I could be a thing. He saved my life. I guess part of me is trying to repay that debt." I finish explaining.
"How do you repay something like that?" Parker asked me.
"I've been trying ever since that night, Parker." I said.
It was the truth. My messed up truth I've been hiding forever. The tears start falling down my face.
"What happened when you saw him again?" Parker asked me. I panic.
"Parker, if I tell you, I won't be the same woman you know." I explain.
Parker put her open hand on my shoulder. "Nothing will change how I see you, Kaira. You're my friend." Parker said.
I took a breath. "When I went to the warehouse with Eliot and Nate, everything went wrong." I pause to decide how I'm gonna say what I'm about to say.
"We found the Italian gagged and bound to a chair. We cut her loose, and we tried getting out, but Moreau sent a whole lot of guys to ambush us. We were trapped in this gauntlet and kill box. And in order to get Nate, Eliot, and the Italian to safety, I pulled out a gun I had gotten from the car when we faked Atherton's death." I hesitate.
"What did you do, Kaira?" Parker asked me.
"I killed everyone in the warehouse. And I emptied a clip into Chapman." I explained.
I took a breath in. "Kaira, you had to protect Eliot, Nate, and the Italian." Parker said, wiping her eyes.
"Ever since that day, I haven't looked at myself the same." I admitted.
"How does it feel, telling me this?" Parker asked me quietly.
I wipe my eyes. "Like a huge weight is off my chest." I said.
I looked at how upset Parker was, and I feel horrible. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset." I said, calming down some.
"I'm glad you told me this, Kaira." Parker said.
I took a breath and calmed down. "Can you sing that song for me?" Parker asked me.
I chuckled and calmed down again. "Sure." I smiled.
You got a fast car. I want a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we make a deal. Maybe together we can get somewhere. Any place is better. Starting from zero, got nothing to lose. Maybe we'll make something. Me, myself, I got nothing to prove.
You got a fast car. I got a plan to get us out of here. I been working at the convenience store. Managed to save just a little bit of money. Won't have to drive too far. Just 'cross the border and into the city. You and I can both get jobs. And finally see what it means to be living.
See, my old man's got a problem. He lives with the bottle, that's the way it is. He says his body's too old for working. His body's too young to look like his. My mama went off and left him. She wanted more from life than he could give. I said, somebody's got to take care of him. So I quit school and that's what I did.
You got a fast car. Is it fast enough so we can fly away? We gotta make a decision. Leave tonight or live and die this way.
So I remember we were driving, driving in your car. Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us. And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder. And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged. I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone.
You got a fast car. We go cruising to entertain ourselves. You still ain't got a job. And I work in a market as a checkout girl.I know things will get better. You'll find work and I'll get promoted. We'll move out of the shelter. Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs.
So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car. Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us. And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder. And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged.I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone.
You got a fast car. I got a job that pays all our bills. You stay out drinking late at the bar. See more of your friends than you do of your kids. I'd always hoped for better. Thought maybe together you and me would find it.I got no plans, I ain't going nowhere. So take your fast car and keep on driving.
So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car. Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us. And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder. And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged. I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone.
You got a fast car. Is it fast enough so you can fly away? You gotta make a decision. Leave tonight or live and die this way.
I finished singing and I look at Parker. "That was beautiful." Parker whispered, drying her eyes.
"Thanks, Parker." I said. I looked at Parker again.
"Thank you for listening to me, Parker." I said.
"Thank you for talking to me." Parker said.
I didn't really know what else to say, so I nodded and let go of Parker's hand and went back to bed.
Not gonna lie, it felt weird not having Eliot next to me. It was just something I was used to for comfort. And I was glad I got to talk to Eliot. While I felt bad I vented, part of me thinks that he needed the distraction. I ended going to sleep before I can start overthinking.
Third Person POV
Over the next while, Hardison helped out the Dustmen win a Black Ops tournament, gaining their trust.
Eliot went back in the interrogation room, where the guy tried enticing Eliot with water, which he saw right through.
One night, Parker went to give Hardison the homework she did for his cover, which Hardison brushed off. Parker got upset. And that same night, problems occurred. Hardison took out his comm and called Parker from his dorm room. Parker let it go to voicemail.
"Hey, um, parker. It's me - Hardison. Look, listen, I just wanted to talk about, you know, what happened earlier because -" Hardison said, hearing Travis knock on the door. "Um.. c-c-call me back." Hardison said.
Parker finally answered the phone. "Hello? Hardi - Hello?" Parker thought something was off.
Hardison turned to Travis, setting the phone down.
"Hey, what's happening, man? Come on through." Hardison said.
"All right." Travis said. He shut the door and showed Hardison a black folder.
"I'm in." Hardison chuckled, grabbing the folder, thinking it was secrets.
"Read it and find out." Travis said.
When Hardison opened the folder, he saw his CIA folder, and Travis pointed a gun at him. Travis then handed Hardison a black sack.
"Put it on." Travis ordered.
By the time Parker reached the room, holding a white flag before walking in, she didn't see Hardison.
"Hardison?" Parker said, looking in.
She saw his comm and phone on the desk. Then she saw the file on the floor. She walked in and shut the door and picked it up. She saw it was Hardison's actual file.
"Nate, we have a problem." Parker reported on comms.
Nate and Kaira had heard everything from the office, ready to leave.
"Eliot, we need you on the outside." Nate ordered.
Eliot was sitting in the chair, waiting. "Why? What happened?" Eliot asked.
"They made Hardison and grabbed him 10 minutes ago." Kaira reported, getting ready to leave.
"Where'd they take him?" Eliot asked, growling.
"We don't know, babe." Kaira reported.
Nate and Kaira both left.
The interrogator sat down in front of Eliot. "Give me five minutes." Eliot said.
"Five minutes?" The guy questioned.
Eliot shot up and threw the table to the side and pinned the guys arm behind himself and grabbed his shoulder.
"We're gonna do things a little bit differently today, all right? I ask, you answer. Now I got four minutes to prove your theory wrong." Eliot threatened.
"What theory?" The guy asked, scared.
"That torture doesn't work." Eliot said.
He threw the guy on the ground and kept asking the guy where Hardison was, punching him and hitting him with a chair. He got his answer and got up and walked out.
"I know where they took Hardison." Eliot reported.
He told where to meet. He let the guys out and one of them may have knocked out a guy.
Hardison was taken down to this library and Travis ordered his guys not to do anything until "Mason" got there. Travis tried to leave a party to avoid getting arrested, but Sophie and Grayland arrested him.
First Person POV (Kaira)
Of all the stuff to happen, why the hell did Hardison have to get taken? Parker and I went down the stairs and saw Hardison on the floor, getting beat up. As Parker hit a guy in the head with a chair, I got on the railing and kicked another guy, knocking him out, and then picked up a piece of broken wood to fight the other one as Parker dealt with another guy. Hardison grabbed the pin and Parker and I helped him up.
"Here. Lean on me. Lean on us." Parker told Hardison.
We got him up, using ourselves as crutches.
"Nerd! You hear me? You were never gonna be one of us! You're no Dustman. You're a Geek!" The one guy I knocked out yelled.
"Should I tell him it's the age of the geek?" Parker asked Hardison.
"He'll figure it out eventually." Hardison quipped.
"Didn't anyone tell you it's the age of the geek, bitch?" I quipped as I kicked the guy in the face, knocking him out.
"Damn." Hardison muttered as we helped him up the steps.
"What? He learned." I quipped.
We got Hardison up the stairs.
Third Person POV
Sophie and Grayland walked into the police room, and Sophie sat down.
"Good! You're awake." Grayland said.
"What am I doing here?" Travis asked.
"Pay attention." Sophie said.
She played a video on the tv of a few of the Dustmen beating up a guy in the basement.
"Where'd you get that?" Travis asked.
See, Parker had given one of the guys a button cam when she was passing out blankets and jackets.
Sophie shut off the video. "It doesn't really matter, does it? We have it. We have lots of it." Sophie said.
"It's not gonna do you any good. See, I've got friends in places so high, you don't even know they exist." Travis said.
Just then, Kaira and a couple officers dragged Mr. Conrad by.
"Are you talking about Mr. Conrad, Travis? We arrested all your friends, all you little dust bunnies." Sophie said.
Travis was nervous.
"Brothers." Grayland corrected.
"Whatever. You do bad things long enough, eventually it catches up with you - even in America." Sophie explained.
"Mr. Conrad's in even more trouble than you are. Unless he starts handing people over, he's going down the hard way." Grayland said.
"I suggest you beat him to the punch - unless you think he'd rather go to prison than throw you to the wolves." Sophie said.
Remember Nate talking about prisoner's dilemma? Well, that's exactly the situation they put Travis in.
"I made recordings. Phone calls, meetings, every interaction I had with him - hours of it. What would I get for that?" Travis gave up quick.
"Well... we'll talk to our boss and get back to you." Sophie left.
Grayland unlocked the cuffs in good faith. And Travis may have made his escape, and turns out he was outside the campus.
See, when Grayland and Sophie arrested Travis, Sophie injected him with a drug while Grayland was cuffing him. And to prevent anyone from going into the building, Eliot and the veterans put up a sign saying to not enter the building. And with a little help, they decorated a psych test room to look like a police interrogation room. Grayland added her own touch with some coffee on the wall.
Travis got arrested, where the whole team was watching.
"You really think he had hours of tape on Conrad?" Hardison asked.
"If he does, he won't for long." Nate said.
They went to leave, walking across a bridge.
"As for Zilgram, all we had to do was scare him. Rational choice took care of the rest." Nate explained.
See, he, Kaira, and Hardison had a conversation with Conrad, which Hardison showed him the pin he got, saying he had a message that didn't want delivered. And the cops walking along side Kaira and Conrad, were more veterans. And Kaira, Nate, and Conrad watched how quickly Travis gave him up. They made a deal for Conrad to withdraw his protection and to let Travis stand trial for David Schaevel's death.
First Person POV (Kaira)
It was a bit after that and Travis stood trial. Nate was at the doorway on the phone. Eliot and I were sitting across from Miss Schaevel, waiting for the results.
"Guilty on all counts." Nate reported, smiling a bit.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank you so much." Miss Schaevel thanked us.
She left soon after. Nate walked over, ending his phone call as Eliot put the wine glass away. Eliot got us all shots.
"Here we go." Nate said, toasting.
We all took our shots and left. I was hoping it was worth it, attracting the CIA's attention.
Eliot and I didn't spend much time at the bar with Nate, as I just wanted to hold Eliot. So, we got changed into pajamas and went up to bed. I was laying with Eliot, just glad to be next to him again.
"I'm sorry about our argument." I apologized. Eliot looked at me.
"Kaira, it's okay." Eliot said.
"No, it isn't. I should have talked to you sooner." I said. I took a breath. "I asked you when this will be enough, because I-I-I was scared. Knowing what you were gonna walk into, knowing I couldn't be there with you." I explained.
"You were there with me." Eliot patted where his heart is. "Always. And you talking to me on comms, it helped." Eliot said.
"I'm glad." I smiled. I took another breath. That's not the only reason I asked." I admitted.
I know I'm admitting a lot of things that I didn't want to, but I realized that I needed to.
"What do you mean?" Eliot asked.
"Before the whole Moreau business, I was thinking about what was next for us." I explained.
Eliot looked at me. "Like retirement?" Eliot questioned.
"Among other things." I said.
"Like what?" Eliot asked.
I took a breath, trying to stay calm. "Kids. Our own house. Finding some balance between our job and having a family. I was planning on talking to you about it when we met back up with the team after the heat from breaking Nate out of jail died down, but hearing Moreaus name again, I was reminded of who I-we-used to be. And then everything cascaded and I started doubting, everything. Am I a good person? How could someone who has done the things I did deserve love? Could I even be a good mom?" I said, the words coming painfully out of my mouth.
"Hey, hey, hey." Eliot held my face and sat us up. "Kaira, we both need to forgive ourselves. I know what you're feeling, okay? I'm working on it too. You are you, Kaira. You've always been you. You've always seen the best in people, and you have a big heart, and are stubborn as Hell."
I chuckle slightly. "Yeah. I can be a pain in the ass." I smile a bit.
"You're my pain in the ass. Always. But that's why I fell in love with you, Kaira. If anyone doesn't deserve love, it would be me, so why you married me still vexes me. Two years later. I know I can be a pain in the ass, and I'm thankful every day you put up with it." Eliot said, almost smiling a bit.
"I married you. If being with you includes having to take care of you when we're hungover, or hurt, I will do it gladly. Even if I do joke about it." I said.
"And for the record, I think you would be a good mom." Eliot smiled at me.
I exhaled. "Eliot, I'm not ready to have kids yet. I know we talked about it, and we both want kids, but I'm not ready. I have too much baggage I need to get rid of. And it's not fair that you have wait-." Eliot calmed me down.
"Hey, Kaira, look at me." I looked at Eliot. "If you're not ready, I'll wait. I'm not gonna love you any less if you want to wait. I'm not gonna leave. I'll be right here. Whenever you decide you are ready, we can talk, okay?" Eliot said, and I feel the relief washing over me. "I love you, Kaira Lynn Spencer. I don't ever want to put you in a position where you feel like you have to do something because I want you to." Eliot admitted.
I put my hand on Eliot's hand on my face and grab it.
"I love you, Eliot Spencer. You have no idea what that means to me." I said.
I wipe my eyes, feeling tears forming. I lean into Eliot and our foreheads touch. We then kiss soft, and when we catch our breath, we kiss again, which turns into a passionate kiss. We let go and we're both catching our breath. After all the emotions I felt, and the memories that came back to Eliot I think, we both need some distraction.
Steam Warning
I move the bedsheet to move freely and I move to straddle Eliot, wrapping my arms around his neck, grabbing his hair with one hand and placing my hand on his back with the other as his hands are on my ass, and we kiss hard. Our breathing is heavy, so I push Eliot back on the bed, immediately locking lips again. My hands are holding the sides of his face, and Eliot's hands are felt moving from my waist, then my back, then my ass. We only let go to catch our breath.
"Goddamn, Princess." Eliot whispered, a smirk on his face as he caught his breath.
"Just shut up and kiss me, Cowboy." I smirked back as Eliot smirks at me.
End of Steam Warning
Eliot goes right back to kissing me. And I forget about what I had been feeling. Cause the only thing that mattered, was that I was making out with the man I loved in our bed, and doing a damn good job might I add.