"So I'm supposed to be connecting the blue wires to the plug point thing?"

"Yes, like I showed you! Don't go wrong like you did last time, though!"

"I don't have you breathing down my neck like last time, so I'm good!"

"Excuse me for caring about my spaceship!"

"You were literally staring at everything I was doing and screaming every five seconds!"

"Because you were connecting the wires to the wrong-" Bang! "Fantastic. Now you've made me screw up!"

"What did I do?! I was just connecting the wires!" I connected the wires to the plug point and Sexy hummed happily. "See?! She's happy with me and angry with you for doing whatever the hell you did!"

"I accidentally short circuited the cables and that's only because I was distracted because I was talking to you!"

"I was talking to you and I wasn't distracted!"

"That's because-"

"Oh, for the love of all things bright and beautiful, will you two stop fighting!"

"Shut up, Jack!" The Doctor and I yelled, and I slid out from underneath the console, "And we weren't fighting, we were just expressing our disagreement in a way that makes it seem like we were fighting."

"And the fact that we're on two opposite sides of the TARDIS doesn't help matters," The Doctor called out, bleeping his screwdriver against whatever he short circuited.

"What the hell is going on?! I get a call from Mickey who says he just got off his train and I come here to find you guys yelling at each other!"

I shrugged. "Blame Jack, he was the one who was yelling."

Jack looked at me, his eyes wide. "What the hell?! You were the ones who were yelling!"

"We weren't yelling! We were talking to each other from two different sides of the room," The Doctor shrugged. I grinned up at him and he winked. Jack gasped and stared back and forth between the two of us. "You're both planning something. Right?"

I shrugged, "Why would you think so?"

He pointed at the two of us, "You were looking at each other weirdly. And I know that look on your face. It was the exact same one you gave me last week when you decided to prank me."

"I didn't know I had a specific 'prank' face. Or that you even pay attention to the expressions on my face."

"Well, once you get a call from a random number that scares the shit out of you, you learn to be mindful of your best friend's expressions." He shrugged and I scoffed. "It was once."

"Actually, no. Remember the cookie incident?" The Doctor pointed his screwdriver at me and turned back to his circuits.

I gasped and pointed to Rose. "You do know that that was Rose's idea, right?"

"Yeah, but you helped! And so did the TARDIS!" Rose scowled, "I'm not taking full blame for this!"

"Yeah, okay, then let's blame the TARDIS, then." I shrugged, and got an annoyed hum.

"She says that you both were to blame and all she ever did was guide you to wherever you needed to go!"

Rose and I gasped, and I turned to the console. "Looks like rule number one applies to you too."

"Don't wander off?" The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

"No, not that, the other rule one."

"There's another rule one?" Rose asked, and I nodded. "There's three of those. The rule varies by person. Anyway, that doesn't matter, the rule I was talking about was that the Doctor lies, and that applies to the TARDIS because she lies as well."

"Oi! I don't lie!"

I turned to Rose and Jack. "You see? Rule number one in action."

The Doctor opened his mouth to retort, but someone knocked on the door. I sighed, leaning against the console. That quick? Wow, Mickey was fast. Well, unless we majorly messed up the driving and the assembled hordes of Genghis Khan were waiting outside.

Jack skipped toward the door and opened it. "Who the hell are you?"

I sighed in relief. Not Genghis Khan, then. Bit disappointing, and we did have an incoming crisis, but at least this one was a crisis I could handle. Probably.

"What do you mean who the hell am I? Who the hell are you?"

I snickered, as Jack introduced himself. "Captain Jack Harkness. Whatever you;re selling, we're not buying."

"Get out of my way," Mickey pushed past Jack and entered the TARDIS.

"Don't tell me." Jack closed the door, "This must be Mickey."

I shrugged. "Okay, I won't tell you."

He rolled his eyes and walked toward us as the Doctor looked down, grinning. "Here comes trouble! How are you doing, Ricky boy?"

"It;s Mickey," He looked at the Doctor and then at me. "Does he always call me Ricky?"

I shook my head, "Nah, it'll wear off. Ish."

"Ish?"

I shrugged. "Well, there's only so much I can tell you, but all I can say is that we meet someone who's actually called Ricky, so that makes him stop calling you that."

He shuddered. "Freaky how you're so casual while talking about the future, but good to know." He then turned to Rose, "You look fantastic."

"Oi, that's my word!" The Doctor looked down, scowling. I burst out laughing as Mickey scowled at the Doctor. "You can't own a word."

"Oh, really? Tell me, Ricky,"

"Mickey."

"Yeah, whatever, stop correcting me while I'm trying to make a point, anyway, how do you know I can't do that? Is there any law that states that I can't own a word? Do you know about the intergalactic laws of the Literature and Phonics Sect?"

Mickey stared at the Doctor, baffled. I didn't know whether to burst out laughing or smack the Doctor upside the head.

"Relax, he's just winding you up," Rose said, and Mickey relaxed a bit. I looked up at the Doctor. "Besides, he;s been holed up all day. That tends to make him cranky."

"I'm not cranky!"

I shrugged, "I rest my case."

Mickey looked at all of us as if we were crazy people, and turned back to Rose, who hugged him.

"Aw, sweet! Look at these two!" Jack gushed, "How come I never get any of that?"

"Buy me a drink first!" The Doctor turned around.

"You're such hard work,"

"But worth it!" The Doctor grinned and turned back around.

I grinned at the two of them as Jack muttered, "Too high maintenance,"

I snorted and he turned to me, "You're realising that now? The whole "red teacups must never be placed near the banana mug" incident never gave you a hint?"

He shrugged, "I thought he was just emotionally attached to the mug,"

"Oh, he's definitely emotionally attached to that thing."

"So, what are you guys even doing in Cardiff? And who the hell is Jumping Jack Flash?" Jack looked up immediately at that and I snickered. "I mean, I don't mind you hanging out with big ears up there,"

"Oi!" The Doctor looked down, offended, and turned to me. I shrugged. "I mean, they are kinda conspicuous."

He frowned at me, but shrugged and turned back again.

"But this guy," He gestured to Jack, "He's kinda-"

"Handsome?"

"Moronic?"

"Hey!"

I shrugged. "What? I was only stating facts."

"I was gonna say cheesy." Mickey said, scowling at the two of us.

"Early twenty first century slang," Jack walked around the console toward Mickey, "Is cheesy good or bad?"

"It's bad."

"But bad means good, isn't that right?"

"Are you saying I'm not handsome?" The Doctor walked down to all of us.

"No," I murmured, and Jack looked at me, his eyebrows raised. My eyes widened as I had realised that I'd just said it out loud. However, fortunately, nobody other than Jack had heard it.

"We just stopped off. We need to refuel." Rose explained, "We need to refuel. The thing is, Cardiff's got this rift running through the middle of the city. It's invisible, but it's like an earthquake fault between different dimensions."

"But the rift healed back in 1869," The Doctor walked towards us.

"Thanks to an amazing person whom I unfortunately haven't met- her name was Gwyneth, by the way, she stopped this other race called the Gelth from invading our world and possessing the bodies of the deceased by closing said rift." I tilted my chin. "Well, ish. Spoilers. Anyway,"

"Closing a rift always leaves a scar, and that scar generates energy, harmless to the human race," Jack said.

"But perfect for the TARDIS, so just park it here on top of the scar for a couple of days and,"

"Open up the engines, soak up the radiation,"

"Like filling her up with petrol, and off we go!" Rse high-fived me.

"Into time!" I high fived Jack and the Doctor.

"And space!" We all yelled, punching the air. Mickey was looking at us, his eyes wide, probably contemplating on whether he should admit all of us into a mental hospital. Although, we'd still escape- if the fiasco at Myalo had proved anything, it was that.

"My God, have you seen yourselves? You all think you're so clever!"

"We are so clever!" Jack and I said at the same time. I turned to Jack, grinning, and the two of us high-fived each other.

"Anyway, if anyone wanted to know, I fixed the short circuited wires," The Doctor said, and I turned to him. "So does that mean we're finally done with routine maintenance?"

He shrugged. "Pretty much," He walked toward the doors and opened them, walking out. "Should take another twenty four hours, that means we have time to kill."

"Time to spend," I corrected, "Because when you're with him, literally killing time is an actual thing."

Jack and Mickey turned to me, their eyes wide. "When did this happen?" Jack raised an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "A few months before we met you. And right before I met Mickey."

Mickey looked around, "That old lady's staring at us."

Jack patted the TARDIS, "Probably wondering what five people can do inside a small wooden box."

I rolled my eyes as Mickey shot back, "What are you the captain of? The Innuendo Squad?"

"I think we all know the answer to that question." I shrugged.

"Wait, the TARDIS, we can't just leave it. Doesn't it get noticed?"

"Yeah, what's the deal with the police box?" Jack asked, "Why does it look like that?"

"One, she's not an it, she's a she, have some respect, and two, she's like this because Type 40 TARDISes have malfunctioning chameleon circuits and the Doctor loves the police box design too much to fix the circuit, which is all good because I love her this way- imagine her being an I dunno, broom cupboard or something." I shuddered, and the Doctor grinned. "Yeah, the TARDIS looking like a broom cupboard would definitely ruin a part of her magic."

"She looks like a box from 1960. How is that magical?" Jack scoffed, and I shrugged. "It's called symbolism, genius. A police box is typically used to call for help, and we've got an ever friendly and kind alien here who loves helping people who lives in said box." I tilted my head toward the Doctor, who frowned. "And also because the TARDIS has a phone which people generally use to call for help."

"Hold on. The TARDIS has a phone?" Mickey said, "And what's a chameleon circuit?"

"It's a cloaking device." Rose explained, "Basically, if we land somewhere, the TARDIS is supposed to take the form of something that would normally be found in that time period and place, but like Liza said, it's stuck in the form of a police box."

"Why don't you just fix the circuit?"

"Symbolism, Harkness, you really are dumb." I rolled my eyes, and the Doctor said, "Maybe not symbolism, this one's biased toward me-"

I shrugged, "I'm just telling you the way things are, I'm not biased-"

He ignored me, and continued, "Anyway, I like her this way, don't you?"

"I love it," Rose grinned. Mickey raised an eyebrow. "But there's no police boxes anymore. Won't it get noticed?"

The Doctor walked toward Mickey. "Ricky, let me tell you something about the human race. You put a mysterious blue box slap bang in the middle of town, what do they do? Walk past it. Now, stop your nagging. Let's go and explore."

"But how can they just walk past it?"

I shrugged. "Probably the perception filter. You won't see the TARDIS if you don't know she's there. Either that or the Doctor's Pudding Brain theory is true. And I'm hoping it's the former for the sake of all of us."

"Why?"

"Because he once remarked, well, will remark that humans are Pudding Brains."

"Pudding brains?!"

"Hey, that's actually a good insult!" The Doctor grinned.

Jack groaned. "Great, now he's gonna call me a Pudding Brain every time I screw up. Thanks, Liza."

Rose shrugged. "At least it's better than 'Stupid Ape'?"

"It's still an insult!" Jack scowled, and the Doctor turned to him. "Oi, Pudding Brain, you complaining about my completely accurate nicknames isn't what we were supposed to do today!" I burst out laughing, clutching the Doctor's arm.

Jack turned to me and glared. "See? He's already using it to insult me. And you're laughing. At my expense." He looked around. "Great, now everyone's laughing."

Rose stopped laughing, "Sorry, it's just that jokes at your expense are always entertaining. Anyway," She turned to the Doctor, "What's the plan?"

The Doctor took my hand as we started walking. "I don't know. Cardiff, early twenty first century and the wind's coming from the east. Trust me. Safest place in the universe."