First Person POV (Kaira)
My day started off like it usually did. Making Eliot coffee and meeting the team. Eliot was wearing his red flannel and a pink button-up. I was wearing a black long sleeve shirt and jeans. And Eliot was still sleepy, and so was I. Eliot and I had been brainstorming all night, trying to come up with menu items and cocktails for the brewpub. And we had a little fun as well.
Eliot and I walked into the briefing room, only to see just Nate and Sophie. We each had a cup in hand.
"Where's, uh…" Eliot mimed typing.
"And…" Eliot whistled as he made the crazy gesture.
"Sent them on ahead. This job's pretty straightforward." Nate said.
I groaned.
"Nathan, how many times do I have to tell you about jinxing the jobs!" I remind Nate, still sipping my coffee.
Sophie pulled up the briefing.
"James Kanack, owner of Kanack Worldwide, inventor of the Kanack Irrigation Process, the Kanack self-drying washing machine, the Kanack lo-flo toilet." Sophie started the briefing.
"What kind of guy names a toilet after himself?" Eliot questioned.
"Someone with no dignity." I muttered, still drinking my coffee.
"Someone who cares more about fame than respect, that's for sure." Sophie said.
"Okay, James Kanack studied engineering in college, but quit when his father, who was a real genius, died and left him, younger James, $20 million, at which point, James decided to hire some young geniuses and steal their work and lawyer them into the ground." Nate explained as Sophie pulled up lawsuits from employees.
"Over a toilet." Eliot said.
"Babe, we explained, it's the fame rather than the dignity." I reminded Eliot, sipping my coffee again.
"Well, he's setting his sights a bit higher now. Braddock Aeronautics is top-shelf." Sophie said, pulling up info on Braddock Aeronautics.
"Military aircraft contractors." I realized.
"They used to stamp their logo on the engine cowls of our chopper, remember this, mama, and we'd have to file them off before we…" Eliot said, quickly shutting up by drinking his coffee, thanks to the look I was giving him.
"Went fishing." I finished.
"For fish." Eliot said.
We both got looks from Sophie.
"Okay." Nate said, bringing us back in line.
Sophie brought up the financials for Kanack.
"So, there's been no new deposits from Braddock into his account." Sophie pointed out.
"Okay, Braddock Aeronautics is gonna be back in three days, at which point they're gonna pay Kanack. Luckily for us, we're gonna have the research back in two hours. Right, Hardison?" Nate said.
I groaned, not hearing anything over comms.
"Hardison!" I exclaimed.
Third Person POV
Hardison and Parker were in Lucille, parked outside Kanack Worldwide HQ. Hardison whined, saying he wanted to enjoy the rest of his Sunday. Parker said he wanted to get back to his online ork battle. Parker got her rig ready to go into the vents, which Hardison objected. Hardison then introduced to Parker, Marvin, a rig he made to get into electronics. Parker asked if it could change the channel, which Hardison said he wasn't sure. Parker said she was going through the vents, and bet Hardison she'd get there first. Hardison said it wasn't a good idea, but Parker said the winner got to chose their next date.
She ran off. Hardison stumbled behind, not ready. Hardison and Parker made it into the building, and to the server room at similar times. But there was a real key lock for the door on Hardison's side. Parker won, and she said she wanted to go bungee-jumping. Hardison said they already did that, but Parker said not off a hot-air balloon. Hardison said he really needed to win one of the bets.
Parker looked in the security camera, missing with it, asking Nate if he could see her. Nate told Parker he could see her. Nate then flipped through the cameras, seeing security was coming. Nate warned them, so Hardison finished and they got in the vents.
While in the vents, Parker was on top of Hardison. Parker told Hardison the vents were better. Hardison was a bit flirty, saying it wasn't that bad. Parker then ruined the mood by saying Hardison was surrounded by those dust mites he was talking about earlier. They made their way out of the vents.
First Person POV (Kaira)
It was almost nighttime by the time I had been called back. I was helping Eliot out in the kitchen, taste-testing dishes for the brewpub, as well as experimenting with cocktails. I was getting cold, so I put on Eliot's red flannel.
Hardison had pulled up the files, and I was standing beside Parker, who was by Nate, who was by Sophie, and then Hardison. Hardison was using up all the sanitizer trying to wash his hands and arms.
"Okay, what are we looking at here?" Nate asked Hardison.
"You're looking at files that have been scrubbed clean, something I will never be again." Hardison said, still scrubbing his arms.
"Is that your second bottle?" Sophie asked him.
"What if it is?" Hardison questioned.
"Hardison, you better replace the hand sanitizer!" I warned Hardison.
"Look, Kanack hunted out every bit of code that the client put in there. No digital watermarks. We got nothing." Hardison said.
"Hardison, what are those big files?" I asked him.
"Thought they were something, too, but it turns out they're just audio recordings of static - hundreds of hours of it." Hardison said.
"Hmm. Play them." Nate said.
Hardison did, and the static was heard. Though, I could tell there was something with the static that sounded familiar.
"Just sounds like one of your mixes." Sophie said.
"I like it." Parker started moving to the beat.
"Play the next one." Nate said.
Hardison started playing it. Once again, the static sounded familiar. I then heard the familiar stomp of my husband's boots.
"Hardison, I said sea salt. This is iodized salt. Who got the military satellite intercept?" Eliot said, recognizing the static.
I turned around to look at Eliot, smiling.
"That's what this was! I thought it was familiar. Thanks, babe." I said, kissing Eliot on the cheek.
"You're not supposed to…" Eliot said, getting looks from the team.
"It's a very distinctive static." Eliot said.
"So, Kanack's listening to the military satellites?" Hardison questioned.
Eliot and I walked up to the table.
"No, no, he got those signals by accident. Can you show me the server room?" Nate asked.
Eliot took the towel off his shoulders, sat the salt down, and wiped his hands as I held his arm. Hardison pulled up the server room cameras.
"He was listening for something else. I don't know what…" Nate said before Hardison pulled up the feed of the office, which had a picture of solar rays (?).
"For someone else." Nate said.
"You gotta be kidding me." I muttered, kinda amused.
"Shut the front door." Parker said.
Eliot just closed his eyes.
"He puts his name on every invention. He wants fame more than anything else. What's gonna make him the most famous scientist in the world?" Sophie got the idea.
"Proof that we're not alone." Hardison realized, smiling.
"He's listening for aliens." I summed up.
Parker then gasped and looked at Eliot. I look at her and know what she's about to do. I let go of Eliot's arm.
"Cool." Parker said.
She then put her finger up and was about to poke Eliot's face.
"Oh, Parker." Eliot warned.
"Eliot." Parker imitated E.T.
"I'll snap that off your han…" Eliot snapped back around and left.
"What's our way in?" Sophie asked.
"Okay, well, since we can't prove that Kanack stole the research, we have to appeal to his hunger for fame to get Metz's money. It's the only way." Nate said.
"It's not about the money." Sophie pointed out.
"You want to send him a message from space." Hardison said.
"Well, how's that get us money?" Parker asked.
"By convincing him that he's only listening to half a message." Nate said.
Hardison chuckled.
"Let's go steal a close encounter." Nate said the rallying cry.
He left.
In the morning, Hardison got some equipment ready, and Hardison, Eliot, and I drove to some field in the woods. Eliot and I got out and started opening the doors to the back of Lucille. Hardison got out of the van.
"You know, Fermi's paradox says that it's improbable for other life forms to exist." Hardison said as Eliot took off his black leather jacket, wearing just his flannel and long sleeve shirt.
"Yeah? Well, Drakes Equation shows that orbiting around the hundred billion stars in our galaxy, there's up to 10,000 planets with technological civilization." Eliot said, having that goddamn smirk on his face.
"Wow." Was all I managed to say.
Hardison was leaning against the frame of Lucille.
"You never know when you might have to fight an alien." Eliot said.
"Oh my god. I'm married to a nerd, and best friends with another. Why is my life like this?" I said, messing with the boys.
They both gave me a light push, causing us all to chuckle.
"Okay." Hardison said.
"Why here? What the hell's out here?" Eliot asked, grabbing an antenna from the trunk.
"Well, the higher we are, the stronger the sky clarity. The atmospheric dilution and wind-vector fluctuations-" Hardison started ranting as I helped Eliot get on the backpack with Hardison's equipment in it.
"Oh. Shut up, Hardison. I don't - what did you put in here, man? It's like 200 pounds." Eliot complained as Hardison and I helped stand him up.
"Hey, the equipment needs to be strong enough to bounce the signal off of something that makes it seem like it came from deep space." Hardison explained.
"Yeah, a satellite." Eliot pointed out.
Hardison then took off his jacket, revealing his smokey gray long sleeve henley.
"Yeah. But not just any satellite. The very first satellite." Hardison tossed his jacket in Lucille and moved Eliot to the other side of him.
"I'm using the same thing they did for Project Diana in 1946. I'm using the moon." Hardison said, pointing up.
Eliot and I just looked up, then at Hardison.
"Let me back it up." Hardison cleared his throat.
"The moon. In the daylight." Hardison repeated.
"It's daylight." Eliot and I both said.
"Hardison, the moon is on the other side of the planet right now." I pointed out.
"Really? Nothing? I get nothing? Seriously? Nothing? You know, just - just start walking. I'll tell you where to go. Start walking, go. Go!" Hardison told Eliot.
"The sun's up." Eliot said.
"Move your ass!" I told Eliot.
He started walking, grumbling as he walked. Hardison and I got in the van.
"Okay, Hardison, you made sure that the message seems realistic, right?" Nate asked over comms.
"You dare doubt me?" Hardison questioned.
I just told him to continue.
"Eliot, go left." Hardison said.
On the screen were three dots. Where we were, where Eliot was, and the lunar projection point.
"Why can't you just set it from here?" Eliot asked.
"The signal needs to bounce off the precise angle of the moon so that Kanack is the only person who receives the message, okay? Every foot counts. Now go left - more." Hardison said.
"You could've pulled the van closer." I told Hardison.
"Who listens to aliens, anyway?" Eliot asked, grumpy.
"Uh, Seti. They listen, they blog, they-" Hardison was saying as Eliot reached the point.
"Wait, wait. Freeze, freeze! Freeze, freeze, freeze." Hardison said.
The message was now sent.
"We done?" Eliot asked.
Hardison was scratching his head, and I gave him a warning to not do what I thought he was about to do.
"Yeah, uh, almost. Almost. I'm gonna need you to skip five more steps left." Hardison said.
I could tell Eliot did that cause his GPS point moved.
"Cool, cool. Uh… two steps forward." Hardison said.
I just shake my head, knowing what was gonna happen in the next minute.
"Right, right. Two steps back." Hardison told Eliot.
Here we go.
"Right, right. Now hop." Hardison said.
Hardison seemed pleased with himself, but I was just disappointed. Cause as if on cue, Eliot's dot was now moving very fast towards the van.
"Where's you - where you going?" Hardison questioned.
I just gave him a look as Hardison very quickly figured it out.
"Oh, no." Hardison said, getting worried.
Just then I heard Eliot pounding on the van, shaking it, and yelling.
"God dammit, Hardison!" I exclaimed as we both steadied ourselves.
"Hey, man! Lucille's a classic!" Hardison exclaimed.
I heard Nate over comms, saying the signal should get to the server any second now. I also heard Sophie mention the irony of taking down someone who listens. And after a bit of letting Eliot cool down, and making sure he didn't kill Hardison, we loaded back up the equipment. We then left.
Third Person POV
At Kanack's office, Parker put a GPS tracker on the SVU and hid. Parker reported that they had left. Nate reported to the trio in the van that Kanack sent muscle to the blogger location, and to make sure to get there before then.
First Person POV (Kaira)
Eliot was driving the van, Hardison was in the passenger seat, and I was in the back.
"Yeah, we're on it." Eliot said.
It was obvious that we couldn't go fast enough to beat them.
"Hardison, Lucille can't go fast enough." I pointed out.
"Oh, we will with this." Hardison said.
He was holding Marvin, which looked like a tablet with two joysticks on the side.
"I'm programming Marvin for line-of-sight pre-emption. It's what ambulances use to manipulate traffic lights in their favor." Hardison said.
Just then, a whole row of green lights ahead of us turned on. Hardison then turned on the radio, and I heard electronic bass music. Hardison chuckled.
"What the hell is that?" Eliot asked him.
"Oh, that's chase music, baby. Unh. Mixed it myself." Hardison said.
"Yeah." Hardison started nodding along. (A/N You know what's next, come on!)
"Two good old boys behind the wheel chasin' down bad guys in Lucille." Hardison started singing.
"Two good old boys. Feel it." Hardison sang, and Eliot and I joined in.
"Behind the wheel chasing down bad guys in Lucille. Two good old boys." We sang.
"What!" I added for the Hell of it.
"Behind the wheel chasing down bad guys in Lucille."
"Hey!" Eliot and I added.
Now we were getting into it.
"Two good old boys."
"What!" I added again.
"Behind the wheel chasing down bad guys in Lucille" Hardison went higher and he and Eliot screamed, though Hardison went longer than Eliot did.
I just started laughing my ass off. Eliot just looked at Hardison like he wasn't just singing along and enjoying himself. Thanks to Hardison, we made it to the location in time.
And Hardison and I watched from a distance Eliot being taken, black hood over his head. While I wasn't a fan of the whole "fake taking of my husband" thing, I knew nothing bad was gonna happen.
"Nate, they got him." Hardison reported.
"Yep." I muttered.
"Okay, follow them back and get Parker." Nate ordered us.
Third Person POV
Eliot was escorted into the server room, along with computer stuff. Kanack apologized, saying it was a safety precaution. Eliot then went on a rant, putting on a weird accent. Then Kanack escorted Eliot to where the message was.
Sophie pointed out that she liked the choices Eliot was making. Sophie then pointed out that they had to make sure the message was authentic, which Nate questioned. Sophie said if she wanted to run a theater and direct, she needed to focus on character development.
Eliot then was telling Kanack a story featuring a buddy Lenny in Nevada, telling Kanack that they heard things, saw green auras and smelled burning rubber, which Kanack basically told Eliot to shut up, and asked if Eliot could decipher it, asking for his name.
Eliot said his name was Willie Riker, and he could if Kanack had the equipment. Then Eliot went on to tell another story, but didn't get far. Kanack said to focus, and that they'd work together. He'd let Eliot use his equipment, and once the message was translated, they'd both make the announcement. Eliot started talking about a bunch of tech stuff. Kanack asked if they had a deal, and Eliot said they did, and asked for an orange soda.
Nate told Hardison, Parker, and Kaira they were up.
First Person POV (Kaira)
I'm not gonna lie, hearing Eliot play Hardison was pretty funny to me. Hardison, Parker, and I walked into the headquarters, wearing watching black suits, looking like the "men in black".
"We're on our way." Hardison said as we flashed badges to enter.
"Cave jumping? World's deepest caves are in Potosi, Mexico." Parker suggested.
Yeah, this whole time, Parker had been talking with Hardison about their next date.
"You're really not listening to me about this whole jumping thing, are you?" Hardison asked Parker as we walked past the reception desk, flashing our badges again.
"Yes, I am. You're unhappy with the jumps we've been doing." Parker said.
"Thank you." Hardison said.
"I'm going higher so they can be better." Parker said, missing the point.
"No." Hardison said.
Before I could give Parker some advice, Kanack and his lawyer, Kip, are coming down the stairs.
"James Kinack?" I said, walking up to him.
"It's Kanack." Kanack corrected.
"What's up? This is Special Agent Fix. I'm Special Agent Kelsey. That's Special Agent Stewart." Hardison introduced us as we flashed our badges again.
"Agents. What's this about?" Kip asked us.
"We've been receiving semi-congruent signals from two Federal satellites based out of Western Wyoming." Parker said.
"Our records show that you own three radio telescopes with multi-function phased-array radars." Hardison said.
"We are just making sure you haven't been receiving any signals that could be a breach of national security." I said, cocking my head some.
"Mm-hmm. And what government agency did you say you were from, exactly?" Kanack asked us.
"We didn't." Hardison said.
"Yeah. This is my head of legal - Mr. Bryden. Mr. Bryden, these three need a warrant if they want to look at my data, don't they?" Kanack questioned.
"They do, sir." Kip said.
"Yeah, so why don't you get the hell off my property right now before I have security escort you off?" Kanack threatened us.
"Very well. I guess we'll be seeing you in a couple days with a warrant. Toodles." Hardison said.
We turned and left.
Third Person POV
Nate told Eliot it was time for the next step.
That next step was using the clean file Hardison sent. Eliot told Kanack that they needed a translator. Kanack questioned it, but Eliot said he knew a Cryptanalysist at Archfield University, Dr. Pearl O'Neil. Dr. O'Neil was Sophie.
Sophie told Kanack about the message, saying it was every other number of the first 20 digits of PI. Sophie told Kanack that whoever sent him the message wanted him to send a message back, which Kanack passed off as a joke with a colleague.
Then Kanack told Eliot to send the missing numbers, which Eliot used Hardison's explanation from earlier as to why he couldn't, saying he needed a geostationary satellite.
Then with Nate's suggestion, Hardison set Nate up as the broker, which Parker helped set up when Kanack called the broker. Hardison and Parker did their little handshake to celebrate.
The next day, Nate introduced himself as the broker. And as it turns out, launching a satellite into orbit is very expensive.
Later that night, Nate met with Metz, the client, and gave him the money he got from Kanack. Metz, predictably, didn't want the money. And Nate realized he should've listened to Sophie.
The team met back up, with Hardison and Parker both suggesting ways to give Metz the money. Nate told them to stop, and Sophie told Nate she listened. Nate realized that Metz wanted his reputation back, and the way to do that was to make Kanack insane. Kaira knew the con they were doing was "The Arkham Ascent". Nate then told Hardison what to do next.
Then Kanack met with Eliot, telling him he got a message back and to be careful, as his buddy Lenny was taken.
First Person POV (Kaira)
Not gonna lie, being in the suit was really nice. And it's always fun when I get to play a government agent. And it's always fun to boss people around. Hardison, Parker, and I went to check into the building.
"Know the difference between us and them?" Hardison asked us.
"Hmm?" Parker hummed.
"Here we go." I muttered, knowing what was happening next.
"We make this look good." Hardison said, putting on the sunglasses.
"Of course you would." I muttered, but then saw Kanack running down the steps.
"Incoming." I warned Hardison and Parker. "Hey! I thought I told you guys. No warrant, no entry. Wh-" Kanack was yelling as we met up, Hardison showing the paper acting as our warrant.
"Oh, you have a warrant now?" Kanack questioned us as I shrugged my shoulders.
Just then, Sophie arrived. Kanack told us to make our search fast. We left, but stopped at the steps. Hardison showed Parker the warrant, which looked normal, but had "Candlelight picnic under the stars?" on the paper. That was actually romantic.
"Ooh. Fire. I do like fire." Parker said, all smiles.
We started walking up the steps.
"You see, you listen, yet you don't hear." Hardison told Parker.
"I do like a good candlelight dinner. Well done." I patted Hardison on the back.
Third Person POV
Kanack walked Sophie to the server room and she and Eliot got to work. Then Sophie got Kanacks attention, and they told him the message. The message basically said that anyone who got message was worthy of "their" presence. Sophie went to leave, and was about to get grabbed, but Nate punched them out, warning Eliot he had trouble coming.
First Person POV (Kaira)
Of course, the time I am not there, Eliot has trouble. By the time Parker and I made it to the server room, Eliot was on the ground, nothing broken, guys laying on top of him. And I could see that Eliot had a bloody lip.
"Goddammit!" I muttered, getting down beside Eliot to help him.
"Ouch." Parker said, once again imitating E.T.
"Parker, would you stop with that?" Eliot complained.
I helped get the bodies off of Eliot.
"And help me get these damn guys off my back!" Eliot exclaimed.
"I'm trying babe!" I snipped back.
Parker and I helped get the bodies off of Eliot and I helped him up. Eliot put the trophy he was holding back on the shelf.
"All right, bodies go in the bin." I said.
Eliot and Parker got one, and I tried dragging the other, but I could tell Eliot had an idea.
"Hang on." Eliot said.
"What?" Parker and I asked.
"I got an idea." Eliot said.
Parker and I smiled. We helped Eliot out.
Third Person POV
That idea was taking the boots off the guys and setting them up, leading to the server room. Eliot then ran into Kanack, collapsing on the ground, making some story that he had been taken. Eliot then set up Kanack as he was being taken next, then pretended to die.
And thanks to some engineering from Hardison, they faked some creepy noises and set Sophie up to be taken. Then the office went haywire, indeed causing Kanack to go crazy.
First Person POV (Kaira)
There's something interesting about seeing Nate make these insane plans. And seeing Kanack go insane was definitely worth it. Parker helped get Sophie out of her rig, and I was cleaning the blood off of Eliot's lip.
"That is the last time that I lie about playing Peter Pan on Broadway." Sophie complained.
Eliot smacked my hand away, but I went right back to cleaning his lip. Nate and Hardison came out of the van.
"I programmed the electronics and the lighting to go haywire intermittently for the rest of the night." Hardison said.
"Good." Nate said.
"You don't think he'll try to leave?" Hardison questioned.
I chuckled a bit.
"Hell no." I said, smiling.
Hardison then walked up to Parker, holding the rig.
"Hey. This gives me a good idea." Parker said.
"Whatever it is, no." Hardison said.
I then helped Eliot get his coat on, holding him.
"That was nice work there, Eliot." Nate complimented Eliot.
"Oh, man, he flipped. He flipped like a coin. I wish Lenny would have seen it." Eliot said, still using his cover accent, causing us both to laugh.
"Hardison gave me the alias, and then Sophie and this little firecracker helped me build the character." Eliot said.
I gave him a kiss on the cheek, smiling as we left.
"Oh, you're a natural, I didn't have to do anything hardly." I told Eliot.
He just smiled.
The next morning, we watched as Kanack held the press conference. Eliot and I revealed ourselves in the back, brushing off Kanack recognizing us. Then Sophie.
And those noises that Kanack heard were from a speaker Parker placed on his back.
And Nate got Metz introduced to Braddock. And the message that Kanack played was on of Hardisons mixes. I was humming along.
"Damn it, I just had that song out of my head." Eliot growled.
"Well, it's catchy." Sophie said.
I just smiled as we all left. Kanack then started banging on the glass, yelling at us to help him. Then he recognized Nate, who just cocked his head. We left.
Later that night, Nate and Sophie met with Metz.
It was storming like crazy outside, and storms always made me anxious. And this job, the whole listening to the star's idea, it reminded me of Kasey. Our thing was that we'd see each other in the stars. In fact, that was the last thing Kasey said to me.
I was sitting on my bed, holding a pillow. I was calming myself down as the storm kept going. I then heard the bedroom door open.
"Hey, Kaira, you okay?" Eliot asked as he sat next to me on the bed.
"Yeah, I just am not a fan of storms." I said.
I could tell Eliot was thinking of something.
"Kaira, I know that the whole "looking at the stars" idea, it's so secret who you were thinking about." Eliot said.
I loosened my grip on the pillow and looked at Eliot.
"What? I never told you about that." I told Eliot.
Eliot had a smile on his face.
"You didn't have to, Sweetheart. This whole job, you've been wearing your star necklace. You wear it when you're thinking of your sister." Eliot said.
I smiled.
"I'm always listening." Eliot smiled back at me.
I just hugged him, burying myself in his shoulder, and didn't want to let go. But after a minute, Eliot let go and held my face.
"You know, it's been a minute since we've gone dancing." Eliot said, standing me up.
He got out his phone and wouldn't let me see what he was typing, causing us to laugh. After a minute of searching, Eliot hit play, tossing the phone on the bed. He grabbed my waist and I put my arms around his neck and we started swaying.
watch?v=qGSa7xxvnk0&t=1s&ab_channel=TheOriginalAliKat
Of course, Eliot would play a song he sang. And it's so secret what the song was about. Eliot just held me as the song was over. Tears were in my eyes. He then wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Did you like it, Princess?" Eliot asked me.
"I loved it, babe." I smiled at him.
"I'm glad." Eliot smiled.
We both leaned in and softly kissed, Eliot still humming the melody, causing me to laugh.
"You know, Sweetheart, I'm glad I listened to you all those years ago, convincing me to stay." Eliot said, his hand resting on my cheek.
"You're a good listener, you know that babe?" I told Eliot.
He just smiled and we kissed again.
This job, it's not always easy. Sometimes you have to do things that you may not want to do. Sometimes you just want to shut down. But with Eliot, I never have to shut down. I can be honest. And he won't criticize me. Damn, how did I get so lucky?