Drinking
Notes- I decided to publish this story because of a review someone left on another story I had published. It's been sitting in storage for a while now. This provided me with a welcomed distraction when written during the 2020 lockdowns. I hope it does the same for anyone that reads it. Chapters will be added once or twice a week. I hope you all enjoy it!
Victoria stared at herself in the mirror. The herd of fussing women had finally left her in peace after hours of preparing her. Not a single hair was out of place, and her dress fitted her figure perfectly.
She was wearing a deep emerald green gown with a very subtle gold lace trim around the waist which was decorated with tiny sewn in flowers. Her jewelry was minimal, but eye-catching, with a diamond necklace completed by a deep blue colored sapphire in the center of it. Her dress was short sleeved and low cut across her chest and her heels were higher than usual.
Victoria could see herself that she looked beautiful. But it did not help her feel any better.
It was her mother and Albert's idea to have a ball. She did not want one. The last few weeks for her had been laden with misery and heartache. She had no interest in pretending any more than she needed to. Sighing, she picked up her dance cards and walked towards the door to find her husband.
Grasping her husband's hand, the two walked into the crowded ball room and welcomed their guests. Even as herself and Albert shared the first dance, Victoria could not bear the idea of being there. Trapped in his cold hand and embrace, they followed the steps in tune with the music and made no effort to converse with each other.
As soon as she was able to part from Albert, Victoria went in search of alcohol. The sweet champagne slipped down her throat and immediately made her feel better. She sat on a chair beside a window, quite alone, and just watched the evening go by.
As the night wore on, Victoria drank more and more, enjoying the light headed buzz of her drink. The dancing was becoming messier, as the guests all became drunk. Albert was busy talking to anyone who would listen, most of those were women, desperately trying to win his affection. Victoria didn't care anymore.
He stood beneath the candles, brandy in his hand and just watched her. He had not seen her hand writing in many weeks. An invitation to see her again was not going to be missed, even if it was from afar. She looked so beautiful, just sat there, sipping at her drink and watching the night slip by. He had seen her dance with Albert, and swallowed the heavy lump in his throat as he brushed aside the familiar pang of pain in his heart when he recalled them dancing together and how much Victoria had enjoyed his company back then.
He had turned her away, for the sake of duty. What a fool he had been. He was so deeply in love with her that the vicious cycle of remembering her and the pain that came with that, resulted in his interests and plans vanishing after she married. Not being able to see her like he used to had taken away his reason to keep going. He was seeing his days out with Brandy and orchids.
''You have been staring at her for the entire night.'' Emma spoke softly in his ear and smiled when he was startled.
''I wouldn't say that was selfish.'' He commented, smiling at her.
''When did you last see her William?'' Emma questioned.
He sighed, deeply. ''Around 2 weeks ago, I had to bring a vote to her attention. I have had no reason to visit since.''
Those odd visits as Prime Minister were the only reason he wasn't dead, he was sure of that. On those days he would care for himself and his appearance more, he would stop drinking, look brighter and generally feel happier at the prospect of seeing her smile, use his nickname and greet him. He knew that her attitude towards him had changed, she was more formal than she used to be, and would not stray from the topic at hand. They would still spend this time talking alone. Victoria did not require Albert with her to take care of matters at state, which he found baffling in the beginning, but the time to talk to her alone, even if it was about serious matters, was better than nothing.
''You should come by more often William. She misses you.'' Emma prompted.
He smiled at her kindness and gently wrapped his hand around her arm. ''She is married now. She doesn't need me.''
Emma scoffed. ''Don't be entirely blind, William.'' She nodded towards where Victoria was sat and he noticed that her eyes were fixed on him. Watching him with as much detail as he was watching her before.
Taking a breath, he made his way over to her. His stomach fluttered with nerves and his heart thumped harder within his chest. The way his body responded to her was unsettling.
''Lord Melbourne.'' Victoria did not stand to greet him, but offered her hand up for him to kiss all the same. He bent down and brushed his fingers across her silk like skin before kissing the delicate hand. ''How are you enjoying yourself this evening?''
''All the better for seeing you ma'am'' He replied politely.
Victoria smiled and rose slowly to her feet, clinging to her champagne glass as she took another long drink. ''Would you care to dance? Sweep me off of my feet, Lord M.''
He had left it too late; she was already drunk. Staring at her was not a good use of his time when champagne was around. ''I would love to dance with you ma'am, but we should do so gently.'' He offered her his hand and she gripped it firmly, running her thumb across his hand as they walked towards an opening to dance. He dismissed it, for she was unbalanced and drunk. Perhaps she thought he was Albert? No, the thought alone made his stomach churn. She knew it was him, surely?
They started to dance. He was mindful of her feet and lack of coordination as she clung to him. He carried her around the room with such elegance, that even drunk, people stopped and admired the pair. Or perhaps, they were judging him. Either way, he was enjoying the dance.
''I have missed dancing with you.'' She spoke softly, not meeting his eye.
''I have missed it too ma'am.'' He smiled, but he couldn't help but feel she looked troubled.
Before he could even think about asking, their dance ended. No sooner had it stopped, did Albert come and interject. ''Victoria, why on earth have you drank so much. You're dancing terribly, it's embarrassing. You should retire.'' The tone in his voice, despite being hushed, was belittling and aggressive, Lord Melbourne lost every positive feeling he had from his dance as they were replaced by anger and shock.
Victoria looked her husband square in the face and turned her back on Lord Melbourne, who decided to back off from the pair. ''How dare you talk to me in that tone!'' She snapped, causing heads to turn. ''You are a fine example for someone who is embarrassing, don't you think?'' Victoria practically spat the words at him. She suddenly didn't seem so drunk. Melbourne turned to pay the couple attention from the doorway of the ballroom. ''You have absolutely no right to talk to me as if you somehow have a say over what I say, do, think or feel. Perhaps our guests would like to hear about my feelings?'' She sneered and moved her hand across the room.
Lord Melbourne was gob-smacked. He had seen Victoria angry, upset and drunk before, but this was a whole new side of her, she was vicious and hateful, some would even say spiteful towards her husband. He watched Emma rush to Victoria's side and whisper something into her ear before gently guiding The Queen out of the room. The music continued and the couples resumed their dancing. Lord Melbourne saw no point in staying, so he took the same path as Emma and Victoria, to make a quiet exit.
''I am sick of always being beneath him!''
Victoria's voice echoed throughout the corridor as clear as day. Lord Melbourne walked slower, not wanting to interrupt the conversation.
''Why does he get to behave in that way and even as Queen, I have to sit and pretend nothing is happening?''
Lord Melbourne was not trying to hear the conversation, whilst he could hear Victoria's shrieking, he could not hear what presumably Emma's responses were.
It all went quiet shortly after, and Lord Melbourne continued in his pathway towards the carriages assuming that Emma and the Monarch had gone elsewhere.
Emma stood in the corridor quite alone as he turned the corner. She turned and saw him.
''I apologize if I caused any of that.'' He said politely.
''Believe me William, it would be better if you had of caused it.''
Lord Melbourne could see that his friend was stressed, but knew better than to pry. ''Is there anything I can do?''
''Come and visit her more, she misses you.''
''Emma, we have been through this.''
''You do not know the full story, William. It is not my place to tell you, so do not ask. But trust me when I say, she misses you.''
He sighed ''You know my position on the matter. I have no excuse to visit her as much as I used to. Especially with what was said about her before. I cannot risk such painful speculation to a newly married woman. It isn't fair.''
Emma's expression softened as she noticed her friend's heartache. ''She is already surrounded by painful speculation William. Some of it true. Please, feelings aside, just consider it.''
He frowned at her. ''I would like to say goodnight if I may, I feel rude to leave unannounced.''
''She has gone to her chambers. You might be able to catch up with her.''
He nodded politely and set off towards Victoria's chambers.
As Lord Melbourne reached the doors to Victoria's chamber, he considered whether Albert had come to check on her. Before knocking he could hear movement inside, shuffling and things being moved. He contemplated not disturbing whatever was going on. But he would regret not saying goodbye. Every time he made a mistake during their precious encounters, he would do nothing else but dwell on it.
He knocked at the door gently and the shuffling stopped for a moment. ''Enter'' Came Victoria's voice.
As he walked in, he could see that she had been crying. Her hair was now free from it's pins and the braid trailing down her back. Her shoes were discarded near a table and her necklace had also been removed.
She looked up and saw him, slowing her actions and looking to relax slightly. ''What can I do for you Lord M?''
He wanted nothing more than to ask how she was. To find out where that lovely, young, carefree and bubbly Queen he had mentored had disappeared off to. ''I did not want to leave without saying good night, ma'am.''
''I don't suppose I will see you for some time now. Matters of urgency are few and far between.'' Victoria replied casually whilst wandering over to her window and balcony.
''I am sure you have plenty to keep you busy ma'am.''
''Yes…'' She turned to face him, ''As you can see.''
He regretted entering. She was angry and upset.
''Forgive me ma'am, but are you alright?''
''I am sure that you can see that I am not alright.'' She snapped.
He bowed his head. He had tried.
Victoria stood with her hands on her hips, watching him. He was being respectful and kind, two things that Albert had never been with her. She sat on the side of her bed and slumped, exhaustion and pain taking hold. Facing the window, with her back to her Prime Minister, Victoria finally gave in. ''I am so unhappy Lord M.''
He sighed. He could have guessed. He walked towards the window himself to face her. ''May i?'' He directed his hand towards a spot beside her on the bed. Victoria nodded, enabling him to sit beside her.
The pair sat in silence for a moment.
''Do you remember the mistake that I made with Lady Flora?''
At a glance, Lord Melbourne could see that her gaze was fixed on the dark window, her eyes brimming with tears. ''You handled it well in the end ma'am.''
''I have carried your advice through my rein. But it is failing me now.''
''I am sorry to hear that ma'am.'' He rubbed his hands together, perhaps she was angry at him. ''Have I done something to trouble you ma'am?''
Victoria's head spun around to look directly at him, catching his eye. ''The only thing you ever did wrong, was leave.'' She said firmly.
He nodded, he had to agree. ''How has my advice failed you?''
Victoria took a deep breath. ''Well, despite having my concerns, I continued to trust, and remain quiet about the two separate criminal conversations with two different married women that Albert has had whilst married to me, to prevent a scandal.'' Her voice broke slightly, causing Victoria to pause. ''And, despite trying my hardest, I am not sure how well I am hiding how difficult this is to bear.''
He was stunned. Of all the things he had expected her to say, he had not seen that coming, he suspected her more to be with child than miserable because her husband was not faithful. Anger boiled through him once more as he recalled the way Albert spoke to her in the ball room. No wonder she had responded in the way that she had.
He was lost for words, she could tell. ''You don't have to respond. Albert will be back soon.''
''I am so sorry to hear that you have been treated so terribly ma'am. Someone as special as yourself should not be treated so terribly.''
''I wonder what scandal went on in our family that nobody knew anything about as it was kept a secret.''
''Forgive me ma'am, but I did not mean as a Queen. You are special as a person and someone should have sense enough to treat you that way.''
Victoria smiled, but her tears still rolled freely down her face. His heart hurt more seeing her in such pain than her being in love with another man. What a terrible experience she has had.
He was aware of how drunk she was, and that she would probably not remember this conversation even happened tomorrow. Taking his moment of courage, he wrapped his arm around her back, and pulled the young woman into a hug. She was pressed against his side as he gently rubbed her upper arm, her body slotted perfectly into his. She was still crying, and occasionally sobbed into his side as she cuddled into him closer. His mind was alight with thoughts but his body relaxed for being so close to her.
After a few moments of soothing, she had settled. Her crying stopped, and her breathing was steady. Her body remained cuddled up to his side. He hoped she would not be disturbed, but he knew deep down she would be.
As he sat there, enjoying the quiet, he thought back on their times together. He regretted so much with her. The way he had rejected her when she wanted to dance with him at her coronation ball. The time she begged for his company at Dover House after he resigned as Prime Minister. Not to mention when he turned down her hand in marriage. He had kept himself at distance from this incredibly beautiful, brave and intelligent woman in the hope that she would find someone more suitable than him.
She followed his advice and he followed his duty, yet they both sat heartbroken and lonely. This was not how it was meant to work out. He had to ask himself, what was the point?
Scandal was the point. He reminded himself as he looked down at her now sleeping form. This marvelous young woman deserved better than what his reputation could offer. Guilt flooded him for comforting her.
Someone was bound to come for her soon. He had never seen her unaccompanied for any length of time. He leant down and breathed in the scent of her, cherishing her how her stupid husband should do. Carefully moving and placing her comfortably on the bed he covered her with a blanket. He stood over her for a moment, watching the delicate young woman lay still. What troubles she must face. He brushed his finger down the side of her cheek, following the lines of her tears before drifting it across her delicate lips, that were just parted. Bending down, he placed a feather-like kiss to her cheek and then backed away. Lord Melbourne crept from the room without making a sound.
Notes –And so it begins! The plot in this story is quite thick, and needs a gentle introduction. I never would have published this if it wasn't for the lovely review somebody left on another story. Reviews can really encourage authors to continue posting. Please R&R if you enjoyed this, and want it to continue. Thanks for reading.