Rumors
Notes- I should have disclosed previously that this is not a historically accurate story, for obvious reasons. I tried to make it as believable as possible, but some things will seem unrealistic, because they are. I remember spending time building the plot whilst writing this during lockdown. I hope it is worth the wait for you all!
Lord Melbourne dragged himself into the house the following morning. He was sure that he looked as repulsive as he felt, but not an inch of him cared. He had gone home last night and drank nearly an entire bottle of brandy. His stomach churned and his head thumped after just a few hours of poor sleep.
He crept into his office without being noticed and slumped down into the chair there, thankful that yet another cup of coffee would be there to greet him soon. It would be his 4th this morning.
There was a big debate on the cotton trade today that he had been working on for weeks to prevent the Tories from getting ahead of. Yet now, none of it seemed important. His only desire was to wallow in his own misery and allow the Tories to finally push him out of parliament and give him the peace he so desperately wanted.
But now, he was not sure that peace would help matters. Perhaps his mind was destined to be full of sadness.
The risk he had taken last night at the palace only really sank in as he stepped into his carriage last night. His heart picked up at just the memory of him panting and panicking about something that never happened. The guards and staff had all been busy in the ball room, whilst he had been in Victoria's chambers before, it had never been just the two of them. Yesterday was the first time they had been alone together in there. But, had he of been caught cuddling The Queen on her bed, quite alone, it would have caused an uprising and most certainly a scandal. His actions of kindness would only ever be seen as that in Victoria's eyes.
He had to remember that however unhappily married she was, she was still married.
A knock at the door brought The Prime Minister back into the now with painful speed. ''Enter'' He groaned.
''Good grief Melbourne.'' The old and calming voice of The Duke of Wellington echoed throughout his small office. ''Why on earth have you entered in such a state.''
Melbourne propped his head into his hand and eyed the old man suspiciously. ''Why are you in my office before such an important vote?'' He retorted.
The Duke sat down in a chair nearby to the Prime Minister's desk. ''I have been told that there was an occurrence at the Palace last night.''
''How would I know?'' He spat, taking a sip of a searing coffee that was brought in for him.
''You were there. According to a number of Whigs that were present, she was dancing with you before she flew into a rage at her husband.''
''There was no connection.'' He sighed, remembering their lovely, if not messy dance together.
''You know that there are still people within this house that believe a regency is required Melbourne.'' The Duke's tone changed. Melbourne had often considered him above party politics. He, like Melbourne, wanted things done the right way. ''Behavior like that does not help convince people that she is sound of mind.''
Lord Melbourne looked up and glared through the blistering pain of his headache. ''Who is making up such nonsense? I will go and speak to them myself.''
''Nobody is making it up. A number of Whigs are stating the same thing. The Queen seems erratic. Perhaps you should have a quiet word.''
''She is an 18-year-old, newly married, relatively new Queen of England, I believe she is allowed to be erratic.'' He snapped. ''Marriage is hard Duke, as you very well know. An argument is hardly anything to worry over.''
''I am not worried Melbourne.'' The Duke assured him. ''But it is not just me she needs to reassure. Perhaps a woman on the street would be overlooked. But she is a Queen. And, a lot of opinions within this house could cause her great damage. A quiet word would do no harm, Melbourne.''
He sighed, relaxing his back he nodded politely and continued to sip at his coffee as he watched the Duke leave.
Victoria was so mad that steam may as well be pouring from her ears. Albert was breathing heavily too, as their argument continued.
''I do not care who hosted the ball, or thought of it. You are in my house, I am your Queen and I will not be spoken to like that in front of our guests, or at all, for that matter.'' She yelled.
''You were not this person when I wanted to marry, Victoria.'' He snarled.
''That does not give you permission to talk to me in the way that you did. Put your problems aside, Albert. People are watching your every move, as they are mine, and behavior like that will cause rumors.''
''That's rich'' He snapped. ''Coming from the person that screamed at me, stopped the music and made everyone watch. I reminded you of your place, quietly.''
''I was dancing with a friend. You have no respect for my activities that do not evolve around you.''
Albert laughed. ''You were dancing with your Prime Minister, Victoria. If you want to start stories, that's the best way to do it.''
Her anger reached new levels. ''Lord Melbourne is my friend, more of a friend than you have ever been to me.''
''I don't care what he is to you'' Albert seethed. ''Do what you like with him. Just don't make me look bad whilst doing it.''
''Says the man that has been caught in criminal conversation, twice!'' Victoria yelled.
''Nobody else knows Victoria. I didn't do it whilst we had guests here, or at a public event. What happens within this palace stays within this palace. You're Queen, and you do not know how your own house works. Open a book.''
Victoria laughed and lowered her voice and strolled towards him, showing him where her true power lay. ''It is staying quiet because I want it quiet Albert. I am ashamed of you and your disgusting behavior. You repel me.'' She paused. ''If I want people to know, I can just walk outside and tell one person, straight from the horse's mouth. Don't assume that you have the upper hand, Albert. I am protecting myself from humiliation, not you.''
The Prince looked at her, his eyes wide and then narrowed on her. Victoria expected him to come back with some repulsive comment about her figure, her features, her lack of knowledge, the way she spoke, or to complain about her pointless past time activities. But he didn't, to her surprise, the Prince turned and walked out of the room.
It wasn't until he had gone, that Victoria sat down and cried.
Tiredness followed him through his day like a shadow. His painful head did ease with the help of coffee and some fresh air much to his relief. Melbourne had sat quietly and watched the bill pass with little effort. His new government had served him better than the previous one, and he believed the confidence in the house was positive. If it wasn't for the stubbornness of a young Queen, he would never have developed such a powerful voice here.
His horse plodded along the sand track towards Buckingham Palace in-front of the setting sun. He had no intention to canter or gallop there. There was no urgency. His soul seemed to be enjoying the sounds of nature as he took in the vast countryside that surrounded Buckingham Palace. Besides, he needed the time to think about what he had to say to Victoria about the rumors circulating. He had been invited to dinner. He planned to tell her after.
From the moment his feet hit the ground outside of the palace, he could feel the tension and frostiness in the air. All of the staff seemed on edge and avoiding his gaze. His heart sank at the possibility of more hostility.
''I am here to see Her Majesty.'' He spoke with as much friendliness as his tired mind could muster.
The footman hesitated. ''Her Majesty has expressed herself not to be disturbed until dinner.''
Lord Melbourne nodded politely and headed up into the palace.
At dinner, Victoria was wearing a deep crimson gown with a big white lace trim around the neckline, waist and hem. Every dress hugged her delicate figure perfectly. Her breasts poked out from above the neckline of her dress and the necklace she wore there would shimmer as the light hit it.
The tension was thick in the air despite her apparent beauty. Everybody kept conversation both minimal and straight forward. Lord Melbourne watched Victoria and Albert from across the dinner table. He noticed how uncomfortable Victoria looked, she picked at her food, largely ignored everything anyone tried to talk with her about, and eyed Albert with a level of distaste that he had not seen in a woman in a long time. His mind was still trying to find any reasoning behind Albert behaving in such a manner.
''How are you feeling?'' Emma murmured to him from his left-hand side.
He looked down at his food, much untouched. ''I have been better.'' He admitted. '' But I cannot complain.''
''No, I quite agree. There are those that are worse off than us here tonight.''
He smiled through his sadness and did not respond to his friend.
''She told me this morning you know.'' Emma continued. ''I have to say, I was pleased to see you here this afternoon. She was miserable this morning when she realized Albert was not here.''
''I do not think it's acceptable to discuss this here, Emma.'' Lord Melbourne replied quietly. He did not need to look up to know that Victoria was glaring at him.
Emma placed a hand on his arm and squeezed it affectionately. ''You hide so much, William.''
Victoria stood suddenly, causing everyone to drop their cutlery and stand too. Lord Melbourne looked straight at her and could see the anger behind her eyes. He did not miss how Albert remained seated and eating.
''Lord Melbourne.'' She spat. ''Are you staying for the evening?''
A slight frown crossed his forehead before he smiled and nodded. ''Of course, ma'am.''
''In that case I would like a word with you, in private.'' Before he could respond, Victoria had stormed out of the room.
''Is there a problem ma'am?'' Lord Melbourne asked as he caught up with her in the corridor.
''Yes.'' She spoke a little too sharp for his liking. ''Do you have feelings for Emma, Lord Melbourne, as I know you are aware that she is married.''
He scoffed a laugh and had to look at her twice before he realized she was not playing a trick. ''No ma'am, what on earth would make you say that?''
''You are whispering to her, at my table. She placed her hand on your arm. I will not have any form of criminal conversation within my palace!'' She was shouting now and getting upset with it.
He quickly glanced up and down the corridor, no more scenes, he was already worried about how people were viewing her. ''Please come and sit-down ma'am.'' He said patiently as he walked into a small study just off of the main corridor.
Victoria did not sit when in the room, but she did close the door behind her and lean on it. Her breathing was heavy and her eyes looked hot with tears.
''Emma Portman and I are friends, ma'am. She spent many years consoling me over the death of my son, and supported me throughout my somewhat tricky marriage. She can very often notice things that many people don't, but there will never be anything more than a friendship between us.''
Victoria nodded and folded her arms around herself protectively before bowing her own head. ''I see the worst in everyone now.''
''It will pass, ma'am.'' He reassured her.
''I am not sure it will. Albert states that this is all my fault. I drove him to behave the way that he did with my temper and inexperience in life.''
''I find that impossible to believe ma'am. Only The Prince himself is responsible for his actions.'' Lord Melbourne felt like battering the German fool. ''I am afraid that your altercation with him yesterday evening has caused a stir in The House today.''
''What kind of stir?'' Victoria asked cautiously.
''Well… There is still a…. thought within The House that a regency should remain an option given your increased levels of distress ma'am.''
''Really.'' She spat.
''I cannot say who is making such suggestions ma'am, as I do not know myself, but I thought you best be warned.''
''I see.'' She paused ''Are you one of these people Lord Melbourne. Do you believe my behavior to be unreasonable or questionable towards Albert yesterday evening?''
He kept her gaze and studied her as he considered his answer. She never liked being contradicted or told anything. No independent woman did. Her head was tilted upwards and her back was rigid as she waited for his answer. She was defensive and irritated, but hiding it well.
''No ma'am.'' He replied confidently. ''If I may be so candid. I have seen women in your position before. They are so wracked with hurt and self doubt that they appear to lose sight of who they are, they become a shadow of themselves and lose their voice once the anger and shock dies down. I have seen far worse outbursts than you felt you needed to display. And, what's more. If your husband is foolish enough to treat you in such an appalling way then I see no reason as to why your behavior should be in question. It is unfair, to be so quickly judged, I know. But you are holding yourself remarkably well under the circumstances. Strong women speak their mind, and a spirit like that should be nurtured, not controlled.''
''I fear he wants to take my crown Lord M. Perhaps that is the only reason he married me. My Uncle was always driven by success.'' She was biting at her bottom lip and playing with her hands anxiously. Perhaps this was the underlying fear.
''As your Prime Minister, that vote would have to be put through me ma'am, and I can assure you, I will not have that discussed in my House.''
Victoria smiled and visibly relaxed. ''I have always trusted you.'' She confessed. ''Albert said earlier that he did not care what I did with you, as long as I do not embarrass him. The thought did cross my mind, what happens if I turn into Albert and had companions. But I then realized I do not want that.''
He had no idea how such a young man carried such nerve.
''I have yet to thank you for last night'' Victoria continued. ''You had no need to come and see me, you just wanted to. I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable by telling you my problems, Lord M. Mama says I am too open with people. I do not want my sadness to drive you away, I do so miss your company and I quite enjoyed our time together last night. I understand the risks you took to be there.''
He smiled; the thought had been worrying him all day. He watched her walk up to him and place her hands firmly within his. ''I hope, whatever happens, I will always have you.'' She almost whispered.
Before he could respond, she brought his left hand up to her mouth, and kissed the back of it gently. The notion itself took every bit of air out of his lungs, and he found himself thankful to be leaning on the desk behind him at the time. There was no scandal, and it was an act based on gratitude not desire. He was sure that the poor woman had been put off men for life now. But the intimacy of it all made it seem so dangerous.
Victoria looked directly into his eyes as she released his hand, which flopped back to William's side in an unattractive fashion. His heart was racing and his hand tingling where her lips had touched his skin, but his feet were set like lead into the floor. He couldn't move.
''I don't think Albert ever had my heart.'' Victoria murmured. Still not touching him.
He could smell her, her delicious perfume rolling off of her neck and into his nose, setting his senses alight. ''Oh, ma'am?'' His voice was husky but relatively balanced, he thought.
''You see, I don't think it ever really moved on from you.'' She smiled, and toyed with the chain of his pocket watch slightly, before stepping back and breathing deeply. ''Do you fancy a game of cards? Or to watch me paint?''
''Paint, ma'am'' He replied as he stood up straight and smoothed down his jacket. He had no capacity for card games tonight.
Lord Melbourne walked towards the stables in the pitch black. With only dim lighting on the outside of the palace to show the path. It was now very late and he was more than ready to retire. The Queen had demanded he take a carriage home, rather than ride back into the dark streets of London alone. He would have to return tomorrow for his horse.
''William'' Emma's voice caused him to turn around on the spot. Her figure was slowly emerging from the dark shadows. ''What did Her Majesty want from you after dinner?''
''Nothing important'' He lied. He was not willing to give away yet more of her feelings to people.
''She looked as if she was going to send you to the tower.'' Emma said teasingly ''She has been so out of sorts recently.''
''Be careful in what you say.'' He warned in a stern tone. ''There is already speculation at the house that she is not sound of mind. Her outburst towards Prince Albert yesterday had the lords talking all day. A lot of Tories want her under a regency. I assume that would be Albert now, unlike before.''
''She is not mad.'' Emma argued. ''But she is hurt. And it does affect her judgement, almost daily now. The tiniest things will surge her temper, she suspects the worse of everyone. You should come to the palace more often. You ground her William, as distasteful as it looks, it will protect her.''
He sighed and lowered his head. ''My name brings scandal to anyone I become close to; you know that. Me spending so much time with a newly married woman would spark more questions and rumors than any real scandal with her ever could. Besides, you know the history with her, you are aware of the risks.''
''Yet, you follow her.'' Emma argued. ''You're not fooling anyone William.''
''I am not trying to fool anyone'' He responded with an exasperated tone. ''But the truth is, being here, spending more time with Her Majesty, only hurts further. I do not counsel her nearly as much as people think I do now anyway. She is a strong-minded woman and could do herself a lot of damage if she did something out of inclination.''
''She told me about your embrace this morning'' Emma continued as if Melbourne was silent. ''She said she had not felt that safe and comforted for a long time. That she fell asleep in your arms and awoke cuddled in a blanket as you had left without waking her. Also, that you are now aware of Albert's antics.''
''This is all true. How does this change anything?'' He responded calmly but was surprised that Victoria had told anyone.
''She is unable to talk about it because of the pressures that The Duchess puts on her about privacy. She wouldn't even tell Harriett. Imagine the pressures that poor woman is under, married to a man like Albert and unable to talk of her troubles to anyone because her family is forcing her to remain quiet.'' Emma paused. ''You are the only person that has an outsiders view on things and is able to give an opinion. What's more, you're one of the very few people that can attend to Her Majesty alone now. She needs someone to talk to about this. Otherwise, I fear she will lose her mind.''
He sighed; Emma was right. ''She does tell me of her fears and sadness sometimes, but not often.'' He confessed.
''She thinks you no longer care for her, because she is married.''
''That's absurd, she needs to divorce that –''
Lord Melbourne shut up as Emma suddenly dropped into a courtesy. Footsteps on the gravel indicated that someone was behind him, and quite casually, Albert strolled past.
The two watched in silence as the Prince walked into the palace without glancing back or muttering a word. It was a silent night, no wind or rain, Melbourne feared that the Prince had just heard every word of his conversation.
Notes – Please leave a review with your thoughts. Good or Bad. They help!