Victoria's eyes fluttered open to the sound of her dog growling angrily at the bottom of her bed. His upset was being projected towards the large double windows beside her bed.
She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, feeling the soft, silky strands glide through her fingers. Yawning, Victoria whispered at her dog and tried to calm him.
''Hush now Dash, you may wake someone.'' She offered her hand towards her dog, who became distracted by his owner's affections and stopped growling.
Victoria stood and walked towards the window. The grounds were being kissed by the first light of the sun. It was still early, and the dim light revealed a hard frost that had layered itself across the lawns and flower beds. Her view of the grounds included many staff of Brocket Hall busying themselves with their early morning tasks, clearly preparing the area for their guests and owner to enjoy. One man was sweeping the pathway, whilst another was breaking the ice that lay on the pond.
Victoria saw maids walk out and grab a number of boxes and take back into the house, which disappeared beneath her window. Sitting down on the seat, she opened the window to feel the crisp air waft into her airways. It was still so quiet, despite the activity down on the ground. The first bird calls were beginning to touch her ears as the wildlife of Brocket Hall welcomed a new day.
Her memory of the place had not been so pleasant the last time.
Victoria shuddered and decided to return her attention to last night. She had laid awake thinking and reliving his kiss. She found herself becoming quite excited as she lay in bed last night thinking about it, waiting for sleep to come to her.
Her mind was wide awake with thoughts, and her body alive with excitement. Victoria felt well rested and was already keen to get up and start her day. Usually, The Duchess, her ladies, or The Baroness would prevent her from rising too early and tell her that she needs to rest. But she had always liked the quiet of an early morning.
Slipping out of bed, Victoria padded towards where her clothes lay. She dressed beside the fire, which she rebuilt and brought into a blaze as her naked skin absorbed its warmth offered. The independence Brocket Hall offered her was a pleasant change.
Her clothing was modest and plain, but its thick fabric warmed her through as she put on her shoes and walked over to the door to opened it quietly.
Victoria looked out into the empty corridor. She wondered where Lord Melbourne slept when here. Whether he too was on the 3rd floor, or lower. He had often expressed his content in sleeping in his chair at Dover House rather than going off to bed. She wondered if he was the same here.
Knowing that staff would likely be preparing the rooms for breakfast. Victoria turned right and continued down the corridor, which became more and more narrow. As she reached the end, a narrow window overlooked the lake that her and Melbourne had walked to yesterday. To her left sat a small stone staircase. It was not lit, or decorated. Taking a glance back, to check nobody had seen her, Victoria quietly walked up the staircase, which spiraled around before reaching the top. A large, very dark wooden door sat there. No light shining beneath it told her that it was likely unoccupied, unless its inhabitant was still sleeping. Her curiosity got the better of her, as she grasped the handle and tried to open it.
The handle was jammed, the door locked. Victoria huffed, very curious now. Looking up at the stone walls, which had lost their art work and colorful paint, she noticed a key, hanging on a hook in the corner. Her eyes sparkled as she grabbed the key and found it to unlock the door.
It glided open easily, dragging with it a heap of dust and cobwebs. The room was in-fact a bedroom, it had been used, but not for many years. It smelt old and damp, the bedsheets had been left unmade, clothing still sat on the floor. And a baby's crib was perched in one corner, far from the bed.
Victoria crept over the creaky floorboards towards the crib, she noticed the dust was much thicker and objects laid scattered around, forgotten. The crib contained baby toy's. Small birds, teddy bears and clothing. Perhaps they were from his son. A diary also sat in the crib, clearly written by a woman, she thought as she studied the writing. It was too dim to read it here. Victoria looked up at the wall, the only painting to sit in the entire room was that of a blue bird, sat on a branch.
Surely a room so precious and filled with such memories would not be left forgotten? Victoria rubbed her hand over the smallest window, smoothing the dust and dirt away from it to reveal the outside. It was sunny now, and the early morning rays had started to burn off the frost from the lawns. Her warm skin was steaming the window pane up immediately as Victoria realized she sat in one of the big towers either side of the hall.
The diary was untouched, and despite the paper being stiffened, the writing was clear enough to read in the natural light that poured through the clean window pane. Victoria started to read the diary, in the hope of finding out who wrote it.
Voices downstairs signaled for her to make a hasty retreat, ignoring the creaking floorboards, dodging the items of clothing and objects scattered around, she briskly left the room and closed the door behind her, forgetting to lock it, but placing the key on the hook where she found it. Her heels tapped in quick succession as she walked down the staircase, feeling the warmth and life of Brocket Hall slowly begin to meet her once more.
She sat in her corset back in her rooms. Skerrett, Victoria's dresser was tending to her hair. ''I would like to look eye-catching today.'' Victoria confirmed.
''Just with the hairstyle ma'am. Or, do you have a certain gown in mind?''
''I would like to look flattering. I am not sure how that is supposed to look, but I would like to gain… flattering attention.''
Victoria always got on well with her youngest dresser. The similar age meant they often viewed the world the same.
Skerrett smiled and nodded. ''I shall send for something ma'am.''
''Men are a mystery to me Skerrett.'' Victoria confessed. ''I do not know how women gain the attention of men. Perhaps I put them off as Queen. But I never feel that I am treated as a woman.''
Skerrett smiled from behind Victoria, knowing that her reaction was seen through the mirror. ''Men can be blind at times ma'am.'' She paused. ''Any man would be lucky to have you, ma'am.''
Victoria smiled warmly and reached up to place a hand on Skerrett's. She had been one of the first to find out about Albert's affairs as Victoria had been beside herself the morning after. The loyal dresser had remained silent about it to everyone, not even mentioning it to Victoria herself.
Lord Melbourne watched in awe as Victoria entered the dining room, her ladies in tow. He had a display of breakfast items available for his guests. Knowing that she would need to attend to her boxes before the morning was over.
Her dress was a beautiful emerald green with a lace trim and subtle frills. Gone were the puffy sleeves and huge skirts that he had grown fond of seeing. Her figure shone through this gown as her cleavage sat above her corset and dress, decorated with a wonderful diamond and ruby necklace. The color suited her. She smiled at him warmly, bringing a breath of fresh air into the usually quiet and empty room.
''Good morning ma'am. I trust you slept well?''
''Very well. I have not slept so well since moving to Buckingham Palace. It is so noisy there compared with Kensington.'' Victoria walked around to stand beside her Prime Minister. Making her intentions to seat herself clear, Lord Melbourne seated also, beside her.
It must be quite freeing here for her, he thought to himself as he watched Victoria chat away to her ladies. Nobody was telling her how to act or what to do. Even the group of ladies sat very much at ease.
The couple spent most of the day together. Victoria had gone off to do her boxes, leaving Lord Melbourne to tend to his orchids in the glass houses. But aside from the short time apart, the pair really wanted to be within each others company. The more time went on, here without judgement or risk, the more he relaxed around her. Victoria had a tour of the extensive library, listening to his detailed rambling about it's history. They walked down to the woodlands, to see the rooks. And Victoria settled to sit in the warm winter sunshine, and paint some of the ducks on the lake behind the Hall.
''Why do you never act on inclination Lord M?'' Victoria asked, not taking her eyes off her paintwork.
''It would often get me into trouble, ma'am.'' He teased.
She looked over to him. ''I am being serious'' She chided. ''I can see that you stop yourself, sometimes with words and others with actions perhaps. Not all of your intentions can be bad.''
''Perhaps not'' He agreed. ''Have you considered your situation with Albert, ma'am?''
''I would like to divorce him. I have no reason to stay married to someone like him. I married for my family and not for my heart. The more I think about Queen Elizabeth the more I want to rule alone, with companions. Besides, I believe he is plotting to take my crown. The thought of him being left alone in Buckingham Palace is quite worrying. I have been trying not to think of it.''
''George would write to me if anything significant was going on ma'am, and I believe our time is up tomorrow evening, we shall have to return the following day.''
''Don't say that Lord M.'' Victoria continued with her painting. She had had a wonderful day.
The silence was uncomfortable, both were tip toeing around a conversation that neither wanted to start. ''Do you not think you would want a husband ma'am? One to care for you?'' He added quickly.
''If a companion can love, honor and cherish me, then I see no difference.'' Victoria replied firmly. ''I would rather spend my time with you, than Albert. I want to serve my people, but I have to put my own feelings first. Besides, I find the idea of children rather repulsive. I have never enjoyed the idea of carrying, birthing or raising them.''
He smiled, her expressions and thoughts carried no consideration. But it was one of the many things he loved about her.
Dinner had been glorious and Victoria had filled herself on champagne afterwards. Her disappointment was not visible to anyone when she retired to bed. She had had a lovely day, but as she sat there, waiting to be changed and petting her dog, she really sat and thought about things.
Lord Melbourne clearly cared for her. They had kissed, and shared secrets. Their friendship was certainly on the mend, as she recalled all of the time they spent together, how it slipped away without being noticed. But he had the security and support of Brocket Hall, yet still their relationship had not changed. She understood that there were certain things they could not do, which to Victoria, was a relief, as her and Albert had never engaged in such activities. But her want for affection and attention was becoming too much, and her presence was clearly not enough to over power her Prime Minister's tenacity for remaining respectful.
''We are quite alone Lord M.'' Victoria startled him as she walked into the room with what she hoped was a seductive look. She saw him sat beside a fire, sipping at his brandy with a book in his hand. ''I am so tired of dancing around this delicate matter simply because I am Queen. I feel that if I was only a woman, you would have taken me by now.''
He scoffed at her sudden candid tone, but he couldn't deny it. He had been painfully attracted to her all day in her beautiful outfit. Now she stood dressed for bed. Her white lace gown flowed effortlessly behind her. ''We will not be in Brocket Hall forever ma'am. If we engaged in anything now, it would not be carried through to Buckingham Palace. I feel it would be unfair on the both of us.''
''I would not see it that way.'' Victoria argued. ''I am granting you permission to do whatever you would like to me.'' She paused ''Within reason. Why would you not take it? Do you not desire me any further than just a friend?''
He contemplated her words from his chair. Watching her chest rise and fall with her shallow breath and her eyes dance with anxiety and excitement. ''I wouldn't trust myself to be respectful, ma'am. You know that my desire lies far beyond you being a friend.''
Victoria rushed towards him. ''Then don't be respectful!'' She exclaimed. ''I order you to treat me as a woman for once, forget that I am a Queen and do whatever you want to do.'' She was practically sat in his lap, her hands either side of his chair, pinning him into the back of it. ''I don't know much about these things, but I know that what you are doing with me, day to day, is not what you really want to do. Not really.
Her perfume smelt delightful, and he leant forward to inhale it's sweet scent. Victoria tilted her head upwards, exposing as much of her neck to him as she could. His nose running right up to her ear lobe and then down along the line of her jaw. He clasped his finger and thumb around her chin and tilted it down to allow their lips to meet if he just moved closer…
''I cannot do what I desire ma'am'' He murmured, holding her still as her breathing became shallow. ''For you would end up with child.''
He gave her what he wanted and did not hold back. Within seconds, Victoria was sat directly in his lap. He held her tiny body flush to his chest as his hands gripped her thighs and lower back, his breath mingled with hers as they shared long deep kisses, his tongue finding an opening as she sighed into his mouth. He swallowed her noises as he deepened the kiss, tasting her lips and the champagne on her tongue. Her hands explored his body, pulling at his waistcoat and toying around the hem of his abdomen. He broke away from her lips and pressed a number of light kisses down her neck before sucking firmly on one particular patch. She moaned louder, with her head tilted back and her pelvis leaning against his groin. He groaned at the friction as he left a trail of kisses down her collar bone before kissing the visible cleavage he found there. His breathing was heavy as was hers and his teeth nipped at the skin there, causing her to jump in his lap.
He stopped, grasping the back of her head and kissing her firmly on the mouth. ''We cannot go any further.'' He panted, his hands running up and down her sides. ''It would be wrong to do anymore so soon.''
Victoria sighed, kissing him herself this time. ''I do not want to leave'' She whispered. ''I am too excited.''
The feeling was mutual. But she was young and inexperienced. He had to stop.
They walked up towards the rooms together. ''I want more from you Lord M. I feel as though neither of us ever leave satisfied.''
She sounded sad, which was what he had tried to avoid all along. She was so new to this. It would be impossible for her to understand. But he felt it too. No matter what they did, he wanted more of her. Acting on his inclinations would only result in trouble, for that he was certain.
''Good night ma'am.'' He said quietly, kissing her hand and then her cheek. He watched her walk back into her bedroom and turned to leave the second the door closed.
How he wished things were different.
Oh dear, I couldn't make it easy, there is no fun in that. Please leave your thoughts below. I truly appreciate any support and hope that this story is easing some of your lock down boredom.