Her boxes were packed today. The papers came bouncing up and over the sides of the case as she grabbed the documents in an attempt to organize them. She read each file through carefully. Making sure that there was nothing she needed to question to the horrible man that was filling in for Lord Melbourne whilst he was indisposed. Lord Thomas was a rude and blunt man, Victoria had recently discovered. He spoke to her as if she was still a child, just like mama and her family do. And, he hated her questioning anything that he had already considered solved. She was starting to see why Lord Melbourne wanted to resign if he had to manage such animals in his ministry.
Her mind drifted to him. She wondered how his health faired today.
''Drina!'' The Duchess walked straight in, ignoring the babbling doorman behind her. ''What were you thinking?''
Victoria looked up at her mother and remained calm under The Duchess's obvious rage. ''I do not know what you're talking about mama.''
''You arrived home so late last night. The court is full of chatter about you today. You cannot make this any worse for yourself.''
Victoria looked back down at her paperwork with a sigh. ''Nobody has said anything to me. It can't be causing that much of a stir.'' She had long since learnt that her mother did love being dramatic.
It had been very late by the time her carriage had pulled up outside The Palace. Gone midnight if she recalled correctly. In truth, she had hoped that Lord Melbourne would have woken up before she left. But it became too late to keep waiting.
''I have asked Lord Melbourne's Doctor to transfer him to the Palace as soon as he is well enough.'' Victoria continued, not looking up at her mother as she signed another paper.
''Drina!'' The Duchess shouted this time. ''You cannot be serious.''
''I am quite serious mama. He is sat quite alone in his chamber, and his Doctor only visits him twice a day.''
''He is your Prime Minister!'' She scolded
''He is my friend.'' Victoria snapped. ''I will not hear another word about it mama. He is coming here; I have already made arrangements.''
The Duchess stood quietly, looking down at her daughter with a face of disgust. ''You're willing to put our health at risk for the sake of having Lord Melbourne close to you? You are married, Drina. You have a husband, responsibilities. Let go of your past.''
Victoria stared at the document before her. ''Leave mama'' she said without looking at her mother.
The air was so frosty in the room. She was sure her breath showed upon it. But after a moment, she heard her mother's shoes turn and tap briskly out of her green Room.
Placing the pen down. Victoria stood and walked over towards the window. The cold frosts were not budging now. The ground was covered in an icy blanket as winter was nipping at London with force.
She may not be able to confess her love for him to the court. But Victoria was determined to show her loyalty to him. Just as he had done to her.
''Victoria detests Sir Thomas.'' Albert said as he walked into the dining hall to find his uncle sat beside the piano, flicking through sheet music. ''She will not shut up about his manner.''
''She never did like people standing up to her.'' Leopold looked at Albert. ''What is it?''
He hesitated ''If Sir Thomas is taking Lord Melbourne's place whilst he is unwell. Does that mean that he makes all of the decisions?''
''Unless Melbourne becomes healthy enough to take questions and grant permission. Or, returns to the House, then yes.'' Leopold replied. ''I heard from Cumberland that he is suffering though.''
''Victoria and I do not work.'' Albert stated. ''I feel you would gain quicker succession in convincing Sir Thomas of a regency than waiting for me to put a child on Victoria. She is most distracted by Lord Melbourne's affliction.''
''Foolish girl'' Leopold spat. ''He is being dragged here, to the Palace to recover under her Doctor's care. Everybody thinks she is mad for putting herself at such risk, not to mention the rest of court.''
''There's your reason then.'' Albert said plainly before leaving the room.
Victoria strolled through Dover House and straight up the winding staircase towards Lord Melbourne's chamber. Her skin was cold beneath her many layers after the bitter journey here and she longed for the warmth of a fireplace.
The doormen waited outside of the pristine hallway.
Victoria clasped her journal tight within her hands. Her short, but sharp nails dug into the cover of it. She had been taking notes down all day that related to her speech about divorcing Albert. Nobody knew in court yet. Victoria hoped that Lord Melbourne was well enough that she may tell him today.
The warmth of the room hit her, and as her eyes met his, she saw more light within them today. ''Do not trouble yourself to stand.'' Victoria spoke with a soft tone, and her lips twitched as she saw the shock on his face. He was sat up in his bed. She sat down in-front of the blazing fire, bracing her hands to the naked flames as the warmth started to touch her many skirts. Victoria sighed in pleasure. ''It is so cold outside.''
''I was not dreaming'' He said quietly.
''I am pleased to hear that my company is on the same level as your dreams, Lord M. But I assure you that every part of my visit yesterday was very real.'' Her eyes found his and she smiled, despite not facing him fully. ''Has your Doctor spoken with you?''
''Not yet ma'am. But I do feel slightly improved.''
Victoria had placed her journal in the basket that she had brought. It was earlier today. The sun had yet to set, but it was sitting low in the sky as her eyes scanned over the bustling streets of London from the window of his chamber. ''I have asked him to send you to the Palace. I would like to have you stay there, under Sir James's care until you are fully recovered.''
She turned to look at him. His face told her he was reluctant. ''That would not be wise ma'am. It is sure to cause trouble. I could be catching. It is too big of a risk.''
''Nonsense.'' Victoria smiled. ''I have already started to make arrangements. I cannot travel here everyday.'' She said plainly and walked over to him, sitting on the bed, careful to avoid his body that sat beneath the covers. Victoria looked down and slowly reached for his hands, shuffling closer to him. 'I want to prove my loyalty to you, as you have done to me. But I cannot do that from here. Your brother George has left now. I worry about you being left on your own here. You have never coped well alone. I could spend so much time with you at the palace.''
She stroked his hands gently, watching his eyes fixate on their fingers that were intertwined. She started thinking. ''I have also asked The Duke for a Privy council meeting. I wish to discuss my desire to divorce Albert.''
''No ma'am, you cannot.'' He exclaimed with a croak, panic clear through his features. ''Nothing is ready, I have not even started to—''
Victoria cut him off by placing a delicate kiss to the side of his cheek. ''We both know deep down that the time will never be right. The second I heard you were unwell I had to consider spending weeks, possibly months more with Albert. I cannot wait that long. The misery within my own house is suffocating. Besides, I have thought about it, and I quite like the idea of ruling alone, as I said before. Mama always said it would take a strong man to rein me in.''
''You do not need reining in'' He breathed in argument.
He looked at her, her tiny figure hidden beneath what looked to be 10 layers of skirts. Her mind was cursed with such determination that she did not always see the damage she could cause herself. Proposing a divorce alone would set of a wealth of problems and arguments. He should have forbidden her entry last night after he woke. But his tired mind had insisted it was all but a dream. Yet here she was, for the second day in a row, gazing at him, either content or oblivious to the destruction she may be causing. Forbidding someone with such an impulsive mind was pointless, especially when that person was also the Monarch.
They were close now. Victoria was practically sat on his lap, their hands twisted together and sat comfortably to each of their sides, her face a mere centimeter from his. ''Please Lord M. Don't force me to live without you.''
''You should not be here. People will whisper, this is not normal behavior for a Queen.'' He warned again, as his awareness for how close she was becoming stronger.
''Our history books are not blessed with many Queens' for such a comparison.'' Victoria stated plainly. ''Once in a while, I should like for my inclinations to be paramount.''
''I might be catching.'' He warned with a croak, again. Victoria noticed that his voice sounded more like his, perhaps with a slight husk.
''I think you're worth the risk'' Victoria said quietly, before closing the gap between them and kissing him.
He was glad that she had the confidence to lead. For he had no strength to argue, refuse or advance on her actions. But she breathed life back into him, as his senses sparked at the feel of her skin on his.
It was a tender kiss. Victoria could sense that he was still very weak, and her desire to care for him was stronger than anything else. She pulled back and searched his tired eyes as she offered him a kind and understanding gaze, as if some sort of comfort was needed between them, before kissing him again. She felt his fingers loosen from hers before creeping up her neck and cradling her head gently.
He saw the devotion in her eyes when she next pulled back and gazed at him. They shone bright with tears. Her desperation, dedication and love for him was overriding her duty as Queen and as a wife to her lunatic of a husband. He smiled, properly this time, and clasped her hand within his, bringing it up to his lips before kissing it. ''Yes ma'am.'' He croaked.
She beamed at him, chucking herself into his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist, hugging him as best as she could given his position in bed. Her head rested comfortably on his barely clothed chest, and the warmth of his skin radiated through the fabric, kissing her cheek bone as she listened to the gentle beating of his heart. It was clear, even to her, that Lord Melbourne was not used to people caring. She was determined to change that.
He may have been poorly, and weak. But it all felt right to her. Her pain and stress from the last few days just melted away. Victoria was certain that this was how love should feel.
She sat up. ''I have brought you some things, to keep you busy whilst you are on your own.'' Victoria reached for her basket that sat beside the bed. ''Lehzen swears that her homemade remedies cure just about everything. She fed them to me whilst I was unwell, and they did make me better…. I think.'' Victoria frowned.
He sighed. ''I am sorry to hear you have been afflicted ma'am.''
She shook her head, rummaging through the deep basket. ''I am quite well.'' She dismissed his concern.
After many explanations and objects laid out in display across his bed. Victoria sat and watched Lord Melbourne sip at some searing hot peppermint tea and chatted about the notes in her journal. Going through what was helpful, and less so. He tried to convince her to wait until he was well before addressing the Privy Council. He had a limited capacity for the information at present.
But before either of them knew it, it was evening, and Victoria noted that she had to return to the Palace for dinner.
''I shall come for you tomorrow.'' She said, attaching her bonnet with a neat bow at the bottom before reaching for her gloves. ''I have an engagement with a specialist doctor tomorrow. This mystery illness is spreading and nobody can trace how. It is only in London you see, and not the whole of London either.''
He nodded, remaining quiet as his eyes became heavy again. Victoria walked back over to the bed and kissed him as if by habit. ''I shall see you tomorrow my dear.'' She said softly, running her fingers through his hair and watching his eyes become heavy. Before he could respond, she was gone.
''I think it is something that should be put to the house.'' Leopold looked over the table in the dimly lit room at Sir Thomas. ''I do love my niece.'' He exclaimed. ''But perhaps her recent marriage followed by the obvious changes that relate to it are too taxing on top of being Queen. She is after all, very young.''
''The Queen does not understand much, to my knowledge. She very often questions me.'' Sir Thomas replied ''Melbourne has had the patience of a saint to put up with it. Prime Ministers are not meant to be teachers.''
''Albert would make a fine regent. He understands so much more and is all together more able than her. Victoria is too busy chasing after Melbourne to witness the damage that she is causing in court.''
''Why are the duties not shared? He is her husband after all.'' Sir Thomas questioned, not taking his eyes off the King.
''I believe she is trying to keep all sense of control. But that is not working in her favor as her wits are failing her. She has been visiting Lord Melbourne at Dover House for the last few days, and intends to bring him back to the Palace soon. I fear she is not herself.''
Sir Thomas sighed and rubbed his forehead. ''I obviously don't have full power. Lord Melbourne remains Prime Minister so he may be able to reject the vote or change it when he returns. But I will enquire about his current state and go from there. I do feel, after working with her Majesty, that she is not capable of being Queen yet.''
Leopold smiled. ''I shall leave this in your capable hands, my Lord.'' The two men raised their glasses at each other from across the table, before taking a sip of the brandy that sat within them.
Victoria sighed as she saw the headline on a newspaper the following morning. Barren Queen Leaves Public Demanding Answers. Folding the paper up, she placed it gently on the table beside and sat down beside her quietly snoozing dog.
Soon this would be over. The public would know why she was not with child and what changes were to happen shortly. They did deserve an answer. But she was sick of being chanted at every time she left the Palace. The expectation to provide was becoming exhausting.
Victoria stood, walked out of her Green Room and down towards the dining hall.
''I see another bad headline has hit the papers this morning.'' Leopold spat as he strolled towards Victoria.
Victoria stared ahead of her uncle and kept her back straight. Ignoring her pounding heart and the sense of dread in her stomach as she waited for the next insult to hit her ears.
''When are you going to stop acting like such a child and start providing for your country?'' He snapped. ''We, as your devoted subjects and family have done all that we can do. Here you are, Victoria, still dragging your heels.''
She did not respond. Her stare never faltered as she listened, her heart painfully thudding at every word. She wanted to provide for her public. The last headline had been hurtful enough to almost put her into bed with Albert. Her duty was clear to her. But it could not override her heart completely.
''I never asked you to provide me with a husband who believes it acceptable to be so unfaithful, Uncle.'' Victoria spoke quickly, finally meeting her Uncle's sickening stare.
''I think some changes are going to have to be made Victoria.'' Said Leopold as he walked past her and down the corridor.
Even she could not hide her concern.
Victoria had spent the rest of the day avoiding her family. She had planned to tell the court at dinner the new rules that would need to be abided by during Lord Melbourne's stay at the Palace. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the idea of having him so close at all times. It would make quite a change to not have to write to him or await a visit from him. She felt they had been through so much in the last few weeks. Despite him being unwell, she was sure their company would heal them both.
She knew her mother was disappointed in her. Victoria could not be honest with her and receive understanding in response. Her Uncle was after something, but she remained unaware of what it was. She feared, her crown. But Lord M had scolded her for thinking such things. Albert was no different to usual. Victoria saw no motive in him for anything. She felt he was just naturally rude and unpleasant to be around. He did not have many friends at the Palace.
Naturally rude and unpleasant… Victoria thought back to meeting with Lord Thomas earlier. He had been most disgusted by the headlines and advised Victoria make a speech about her plans with Albert. He had made it clear that if the public did not know what was going on, the headlines, gossip, interviews and protests would only get worse. Victoria had agreed, albeit through gritted teeth after being belittled for over an hour by the overweight Lord who saw no use to women other than them being broodmares. It was not until he started complaining that there was concern on how well she was handling the business of government that she agreed to make a speech to the Privy Council. But it was not the speech he wanted to hear her say, of that, she was sure.
Then there was the meeting with the specialist Doctor who had been studying the mystery virus. He had concluded that it was some kind of poisoning. The infections remained in a localized area. Nobody caught it through touch or exposure. He considered the water, but later ruled it out due to families of the same house not all contracting it. There was no pattern in age, gender or severity, but the symptoms matched in every case. Victoria had found herself quite unsettled after The Doctor had advised she get The Prime Minister to discuss the matter in more detail to the Public and offer some form of reassurance. People were worried.
Her thoughts were mercifully interrupted as a knock at the door was followed by Skerrett and Ms. Jenkins, her two dressers. They had arrived to prepare her for dinner.
''I need to raise the awareness of Lord Melbourne staying at the palace.''
''I think we are all aware of your intentions Victoria.'' Leopold spoke between sips of his drink. Victoria avoided his eye as she continued. Little did he know.
''Obviously Lord Melbourne is still very unwell, and his condition remains unstable. I have been assured by the Doctors working around this illness today that it is not catching.'' Victoria noticed everyone around her show a look of relief and briefly considered how worried the public really were about this sickness. ''I do not want anybody telling him about the business of either court or government. If there is any information, I feel he should know, I will tell him myself.'' She continued sternly. ''It will only worry him and risk his condition worsening further. Have I made myself clear?''
Everybody nodded and remained silent. Victoria turned to Albert who had not spoken or stopped eating since she started speaking. ''Do you have anything to say on the matter, Albert?''
He paused and looked at her, perhaps somewhat confused that she had included him. ''You have done what you want Victoria. But as I look around me, the entire court look rather uneased at the idea of the sick Prime Minister staying here. Catching or not, most people around this table understand the risks that it may do to your reputation and image as Queen.'' He spoke casually, with little worry in his voice.
Victoria had noticed. Even Emma Portman, a long-standing friend of Lord M's, looked unsettled. ''If anyone has a problem with Lord Melbourne staying, please speak out now. After this meal I wish to hear no more on the situation and anybody that informs Lord Melbourne of anything to do with matters of court or government shall be excused from court immediately.''
Of course, nobody spoke out at that. She watched on as everybody kept their heads down. She had come this far; she was not going to back down now.
A somewhat nervous looking butler came up to Victoria with a letter on a platter. Upon opening it, it clearly stated that Lord Melbourne had arrived at the Palace and had retired to the place of Victoria's wishes. He was in the wing beside her chambers, like before. She smiled. His Doctor had stated he may not be fit for travel for a few days yet, perhaps he had improved.
She stayed for the remainder of dinner. And engaged in conversation with her ladies after. Her instinct was to run to him. But she recalled his conversation on patience and refused her inclinations. Plus, she was sure he would be tired.
Finally, she could withstand the dull conversation with her ladies and Albert no longer. Expressing her wishes to retire, she escaped from their clutches and walked calmly out of the room. The moment she was out of sight, she ran.
The door had a lock, but was presently unlocked. A sign on the door stated nobody was to disturb, as per Victoria's instructions. She crept in, opening the door slowly to prevent any extra noise. The room was warm and quiet, aside from the crackling fire, nothing else was stirring. Victoria noticed that the bed contained its host. He was laid down and still. Upon walking up to him, she saw him sleeping. His skin still looked so pale, and his drawn in face indicated weakness. Victoria knelt down on her knees and became level with his face which laid perfectly on the pillow. She smiled. Her decision was the correct one. Sir James would see him tomorrow and he would begin to improve, she was certain.
Victoria reached out and gently played with his hair. Her fingers could just curl around the short strands. It was soft, and he smelt of fresh soap and tooth powder. ''I am meeting the privy council tomorrow.'' She whispered, mostly to herself. ''I confess to being nervous. I do not want to be refused and forced to remain with Albert forever.'' His sleeping form did not stir. ''But I feel better now that you are here, Lord M. My world somehow feels so right whilst you are beside me. Whatever happens. I must act on my inclinations sometimes, otherwise I think I would never be happy.''
The sorrow in her voice was clear, even to her. Victoria leant forward and kissed his cheek softly. He stirred a little, but did not wake.
Shutting the door quietly behind her, Victoria walked back down the corridor towards her chambers. It was dark, due to the dead candles as most of court had now retired. Voices were faint in the distance and became louder as she neared a door, just slightly ajar. The hushed tones did not disguise very well, Victoria could tell it was her mother and Uncle Leopold.
''You told me it would work!'' Her mother sounded distressed
''I thought it would have done sister. But I was not aware that Annabelle and Melbourne had never been involved in criminal conversation.''
Victoria's eyes widened.
''It has driven them closer together!'' The Duchess exclaimed ''Your plan has failed, and it has been a waste of time dragging Annabelle up from Cornwall. Lord Melbourne is here and you know Victoria will be doting on him. Her and Albert will be pushed even further apart.''
''Do not worry sister. Albert pointed out that Sir Thomas and Victoria do not get on. Whilst Lord Melbourne is so sick, Sir Thomas has the power to arrange a regency. Regardless of whether Lord Melbourne is here or not. Victoria's reactions are far too exaggerated and irrational. Reacting in any way that is not political towards a Prime Minister would be considered odd for a Queen. She is doing herself no favors. Do not worry sister. I shall have Albert in control soon enough, that is how it should be.''
Victoria strode off, her anger far past boiling point and her tears burning her face as they ran down her cheeks.