Thank you so much to anyone who has added this story to their alert/favorite list (or added myself, for that matter!) and to all of those who take the time to leave feedback! It is greatly appreciated!
A kind reader (shout out to The Ghost Who Walks1!) asked about the pronunciation of Signe's name, which I did not even think to mention at the start of the story – brain fart! So just to clear things up, Signe's name is pronounced SING-neh, with almost a 'nay' sound at the end, but not quite. Everyone else's name is pretty straightforward, but I should also point out that Garik's name is pronounced GEY-rick.
Anywho, on to the next chapter!
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Vikings. Don't sue, just enjoy!
Chapter Two
"Are you sure you should not be sitting down?" Signe asked with concern.
Ingelill, her very pregnant sister-in-law, sighed and looked over with a grateful, albeit slightly exasperated, look on her face. She was about four years older than Signe, had hair that fell to her waist in soft, blonde waves, and piercing blue eyes. She was an incredibly pretty woman. So much so that it often made Signe feel a little self-conscious of her own appearance.
"I appreciate your concern, Signe," Ingelill said patiently, "but if I have to sit for one more moment, I am certain I will die of complete and utter boredom." Signe smiled understandingly at that, which pulled a gentle smile from her sister-in-law. "Besides," she continued, turning her attention back to the loom she was standing in front of. "I hardly think blanket weaving is too stressful on the baby."
"I suppose not," Signe conceded with a nod, deciding to just let the woman do as she pleased. Ingelill knew her own limits and would rest if she felt she needed to...still, Signe did not miss the way that she – whether she was aware she did it or not – ran a protective hand over her swollen belly, as though taking a moment to silently reassure herself that she and her unborn child were indeed fine.
While Ingelill resumed her blanket weaving, Signe shifted her gaze back down to the laundry she had been working on for the past hour. Pushing the sleeves of her dress a little further up her arms again, she dunked a shirt that belonged to Valborg into a bucket of water to soak it, then reached for the lump of soap to begin scrubbing it clean. When the shirt had been thoroughly scrubbed and most of the stains had been washed out, she tossed it into another bucket to soak with the other clothes she'd already cleaned. Signe then grabbed another item, one of Ingelill's shifts, and repeated the process.
Signe had been coming around to help her sister-in-law with chores such as these for a month now, ever since she'd gotten so large with pregnancy that it hindered her ability to carry out chores as easily as she had in the past. Considering how big Ingelill had gotten for being barely over six months with child, there was some speculation amongst the family that she might be carrying twins, which seemed all too likely given their family's affinity for producing twins. It seemed a fairly dominant trait on her mother's side of the family – her grandmother had been a twin, her mother had had a pair of twin cousins, and, of course, Signe had twin brothers of her own.
Growing up, her mother had predicted that at least one of her children would end up giving birth to twins, a prediction that even the seeress had allegedly confirmed at some point in time. But anytime they reminded Valborg or Ingelill of this possibility, the notion was usually brushed away. Given the multiple miscarriages that they had suffered through, they felt themselves fortunate enough just to be pregnant with one child. They did not want to tempt fate or seem too selfish by hoping for more than that.
"I cannot thank you enough for coming to assist me with the chores," Ingelill said to break the silence, sending a gentle smile in her direction. "It helps so much. Valborg and I truly appreciate it."
"It is no problem at all," Signe assured her, smiling widely as she continued to scrub at the laundry. "I am happy to do anything I can to make this pregnancy easier for the both of you. Besides, it is nice to get away from the boys and spend time with another girl," she added, referring to the fact that the majority of her time was spent with her brothers or with Bjorn, or both – it was rare that got to spend one-on-one time with Ingelill.
"So what should we talk about since it is only us girls, then?" Ingelill asked with a playful smirk and mischievous gleam. "All the latest gossip in Hedeby? The newest hair fashions?" She paused. "Your love life, perhaps?" She then suggested, wagging her eyebrows. "Tell me, for I have been anxious to know – what is happening with Bjorn?"
Ingelill was the only person Signe had confided in about her secret feelings for Bjorn. Being a married woman with six years of experience under her belt, Signe had been able to think of no better woman to go to for advice than her. Ingelill, oddly enough, had not been surprised to hear that she was falling for Bjorn, but had still been more than ready to lend an ear and some advice. She, of course, believe a match could be possible and thought Signe should just confess her feelings to him – Signe, on the other hand, had always been hesitant to do such a thing.
Signe sighed and shook her head. "Nothing is happening with Bjorn," she said ruefully. "Things between us are how they have always been. And I do not believe that vill be changing anytime soon, either."
"It could, if you only told him how you felt," Ingelill countered pointedly. "How is he to know that you vant more than friendship if he is not made aware of it? Because he vill certainly not figure it out on his own. Trust me," the woman said with a raise of her brows, "men are not that smart. I would know – I am married to one of them."
Signe laughed a bit, then let it fade into a heavy sigh of resignation. She had considered hinting to Bjorn that she had feelings for him one or twice, but had always talked herself out of it. In all honesty, she was afraid to tell him the truth, afraid that doing so might very well ruin their friendship – if he knew the truth about her feelings and, Gods forbid, did not return the sentiment, things between them would never be the same. He was simply too important for her to do anything that might end with her losing him. There had been moments where she thought that perhaps he did return the sentiment, but until he did something to encourage the idea that he might want more than friendship, she was going to keep her feelings to herself.
"It is not as simple as that," she told Ingelill with a shake of her head. "Bjorn is my best friend, Inge. I do not want to do anything that might put that friendship at risk unless I have good reason to do so."
"You cannot wait for him forever, Signe," Ingelill reminded her. "The longer you do, the less fair you are being to yourself - and to your heart."
Signe sighed, knowing Ingelill was right but not wanting to admit to that out loud. She couldn't wait forever, no, but she could certainly stand to wait a little bit longer. "Let us speak of something else," Signe suggested with a close-lipped smile, wanting to turn the subject of conversation away from her relationship with Bjorn. "How are you and the babe feeling these days, Inge? Have you been well?"
Ingelill pursed her lips, looking like she had quite a bit more she wanted to say on the subject of Bjorn, but finally seemed to realize that trying to press any further would be a waste of time. It was obvious that Signe was finished with that particular discussion and would not participate in it any further.
Ingelill sighed and shrugged a shoulder. "Yes, I have been well. The babe seems well, too," she said. The conversation about Bjorn was all but forgotten as Ingelill's eyebrows came together in what seemed like uncertainty. Signe frowned as she watched her sister-in-law, thinking her expression contradicted her words a little. "I will admit that this pregnancy feels different from the others, though," she continued, dropping a hand to her belly again. "I cannot describe how, but it does."
"Better?" Signe asked hopefully.
"I…I believe so," Ingelill said with a nod, even though she herself didn't sound completely convinced of her own answer. "The connection with him seems..." Ingelill paused as though trying to think of the right word. "…stronger than it did with the others."
Her words made Signe frown with curiosity. "How do you mean?" She asked with interest.
Ingelill took a moment to consider how best to answer. "It is difficult to explain," she finally said, frowning at the half-woven blanket in front of her with a troubled expression on her face. "When I was pregnant with the other babies, it felt…well, in a way I felt as though they were not mine. As though I was carrying them for someone else," Ingelill admitted. She then looked to Signe with a half-hearted smile that came nowhere close to reaching her eyes. "I have never told anyone that, not even Valborg."
Signe was rather surprised by Ingelill's revelations. Even though she herself had never experienced pregnancy, it still seemed an odd thing to not feel any sort of connection to a life made by and growing inside of one's self. To feel as though the child in your womb was not yours, that he or she belonged to someone else, must have been unimaginably difficult for Ingelill. Especially so because everyone else had viewed her pregnancies in a much different light – where Ingelill had been secretly troubled, they had all been openly excited at the prospect of a new addition to the family and had rejoiced in her pregnancies, never once choosing to believe that something might go wrong or that she would lose the babies before they ever reached birth.
Signe, who had always thought herself fairly perceptive, suddenly felt guilty for not picking up on Ingelill's true feelings during her previous pregnancies. If she had had someone to talk to about the way she felt, if she had been able to express her concerns from the beginning, would it have made the miscarriages easier for her to handle in some small way?
"I wish you had come to me with these feelings sooner," Signe said with a sigh, her eyes filled with sympathy and regret. "You should not have had to bear such a burden on your own, Inge."
Ingelill flushed a bit, looking a little shamefaced. "I considered doing so, but everyone was so happy." She paused and shook her head. "I did not wish to trample on anyone's joy," she admitted, "especially Valborg's."
Signe mentally sighed, thinking that Ingelill was too selfless for her own good sometimes. "You are family," she reminded her, "What good are we for if you cannot come to us for help or advice?" Ingelill seemed to appreciate her words, even though she still looked a mite bit guilty. "Promise me that you vill seek me out if you ever have fears or doubts such as these weighing on your mind," Signe urged, her tone firm and leaving no room for argument. "Or, at the very least, promise me that you will speak to Valborg about it. We are always here to listen."
Ingelill opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but stopped short with a sudden look of surprise. Signe frowned in confusion, then felt a zing of alarm rush down her spine when Ingelill's hand quickly dropped down to her pregnant belly.
"What is it?" Signe asked, abandoning the laundry and rushing over to her sister-in-law's side in the blink of an eye, wet soapy hands and all. "What is the matter?" She questioned further, afraid that Ingelill was in pain or that something was wrong with the baby.
But when Ingelill looked up to her, there was no pain anywhere in her expression. Instead, she was smiling widely and her eyes were filled with happiness. "He is kicking."
In the next instance, Ingelill grabbed Signe's hand and pressed it tightly to her stomach. Silence fell over them as they both waited for the baby to kick again, Signe staring intently at where her hand laid while Ingelill watched her with expectant eyes. Neither of them even dared to breathe out of fear that it would interrupt the moment and make the baby still again. Finally, after a few more moments of waiting, Signe felt a little nudge against her palm. Her eyes flew up to Ingelill's and they shared a broad smile – the baby had been kicking for two weeks now, according to Valborg, but this was the first time Signe had felt it.
"He must have heard us talking about him," Ingelill said, still grinning. Signe didn't bother moving her hand away from the woman's stomach as the baby continued to kick, smiling wider each time she felt a bump against hand. "I think he likes you," Ingelill said with a soft laugh.
"You think the baby is a boy, then?" She asked, having not missed the way Ingelill kept referring to her unborn child as 'he'.
Ingelill shrugged. "Valborg believes so, so I suppose he has influenced me into thinking it as well," she told Signe. "To be honest, I do not care if he is he or if he is a she," she continued, the joy on her face slowly melting into worry and anxiety. The fear and paranoia that Signe had so often seen in both Ingelill and Valborg's eyes over the past six months had crept back into the woman's blue gaze. "I just want the baby to live and be healthy," Ingelill confessed, her voice a little thicker with emotion as she rubbed her stomach again.
Signe took in the genuine worry on her sister-in-law's face as her unborn niece of nephew continued to push against her hand, as though he or she were insistently trying to confirm to the two women that they were still there and still healthy. "And I believe he will, Inge," Signe said sincerely, finally moving her hand from Ingelill's stomach so she could squeeze her shoulder comfortingly.
Ingelill chewed on her lower lip for a moment as she turned Signe's words over in her head. When she met Signe's gaze again, her eyes were filled with unshed tears. "But what if he does not?" She finally asked, her tone shaky and her eyes wide and vulnerable as she finally voiced her fears aloud. "What if there is something wrong with me? What if I am unfit for children and am doomed to lose any child I carry?" She questioned further. "I do not think I can bear to lose another baby, Signe. It will destroy me, and it will destroy Valborg."
As the tears finally broke free and went sliding down Ingelill's cheeks, Signe wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a comforting hug, rubbing her back soothingly as she cried out all of her pent up feelings of fear and anxiety. After a few minutes, when she finally started to calm down again, Signe slowly pulled back so that she was able to look in Ingelill's red-rimmed eyes again.
"Do you know what I think?" She asked gently, offering a small, supportive smile. "I do not think there is anything wrong with you at all. Instead, I think that the Gods loved your other children so much, thought them so perfect, that they did not want to risk them meeting some horrible fate here on earth. They brought them directly to Valhalla so that they could be happy and be at peace for all of their days, never to feel an ounce of pain or sadness." Signe smiled softly as she imagined her unborn nieces or nephews running around in Valhalla while her mother, Gunnhild, happily chased after them. "No doubt they are in Valhalla now, being watched over by my mother and all of our kin as they smile down on us."
"You truly believe so?" Ingelill asked around a sniffle, eyes intent as she held Signe's gaze and listened on with earnest.
"Yes, I do," Signe answered without hesitation. "Which is also why I know this child will be born," she continued, placing a hand on Ingelill's stomach again. "The Gods know the grief they have put you and Valborg through, the sadness you have felt in losing your children," she continued firmly, hoping her words would bring Ingelill peace of mind. "This child is a gift from them for the sacrifices you have made – I know in my heart that he will be born as healthy and as strong as an ox, and that he will live for many years to come. The Gods will make it so."
Ingelill stared at her for one silent second before dissolving into tears again. Signe sighed as she pulled Ingelill back into her arms for another hug, patting her back and offering comforting words as she allowed the woman to cry on her shoulder.
Valborg had warned that Ingelill had been a growing more…emotional…the further the pregnancy progressed, but this was the first Signe was really seeing of it. She had gone from happy and relaxed to hysterical and sobbing in the span of only a few minutes – the rapid shift in the woman's emotions was nearly enough to give her whiplash, it had happened so quickly. Signe found herself wondering if this happened to all pregnant women, then immediately sent a silent prayer to the Gods that she not become as emotional a wreck as her sister-in-law whenever the time came for her to bear children of her own.
A few minutes later, just as Ingelill was starting to get ahold of herself again, the front door opened and Valborg walked inside. Sweaty and dirty from a morning of doing field work, he immediately froze when he caught sight of his weeping wife. In an instant he dropped what he was holding and hurried over to them, handsome face filling with concern as his eyes darted back and forth between Signe and Ingelill.
"What is wrong?" he asked, placing a gentle hand on Ingelill's shoulder and leaned down to try to catch her eye. "My love, are you unwell?"
Signe started to reassure her brother that everything was perfectly fine and that Ingelill had only been getting a few things off her chest, but her sister-in-law had recovered from emotional stint and beat her to the punch.
"I am well, Valborg, I promise," she said with a sniffle, finally pulling away from Signe so that she could wipe the tears from her face. Though her eyes were still red and bloodshot from crying and her voice was still thick with emotion, the woman looked more at ease and more at peace than she had in months. "I merely let my emotions get the better of me again and unleashed all my troubles on your sister, who so graciously leant an ear to listen." Ingelill paused to squeeze Signe's hand and smile at her warmly. "Thank you, Signe, for all your kind words," she said sincerely, telling her with her eyes just how much she had truly appreciated it. "They have brought me much needed comfort."
Signe, happy that she had made Ingelill feel better, squeezed her hand back. "You are welcome, Inge," she said simply, returning the woman's heartfelt smile.
Valborg still looked a tad bit confused and seemed as though he were contemplating prying further, but he seemed to decide against it in the end. "Alright," he said slowly, shaking his head a bit, "as long as you are certain you are well…"
Ingelill released Signe and turned to place her hands on either side of Valborg's neck, pulling him close so that she could kiss him reassuringly. They had kissed in front of her more times than she could count, but Signe still turned her eyes away respectfully so that she would not intrude on the moment.
"I am certain," Ingelill said when she finally pulled away from the kiss.
Valborg seemed convinced now, though whether or not that was because Ingelill's kiss had momentarily left him dumbstruck, Signe couldn't be sure. She had to fight back the urge to snicker at the expression on his face.
"Now," Ingelill said, wiping the last of her tears away as she fully collected herself, "let me make the two of you something to eat – you have both been working hard this morning." And before either of them could argue, Ingelill continued toward the small kitchen, smiling happily to herself and looking as though she were even glowing a bit.
Signe watched the woman go, feeling proud of herself for having eased some of Ingelill's worries. Even if this newfound contentedness ended up only lasting for a short time, at least for now her sister-in-law could escape the haunting past and rest easy knowing that the baby growing inside of her was as healthy and happy as she was.
A heavy arm dropping around her shoulders pulled her from her thoughts. She looked up at Valborg, who was watching his wife with a small smile on his face. "I have not seen her smile like that for many months now," he said in a low voice, speaking just loud enough so that only Signe would hear. "Whatever you said…" he continued, looking down at her with grateful eyes, "…thank you."
Signe smiled and wrapped an arm around his waist, returning his loose embrace. "You are welcome," she said back, patting his back.
Valborg smiled at her for a moment longer, then jerked his head toward a basin near the door. "Come on, let's wash up for lunch," he said, squeezing her in a one-armed hug for a short moment before releasing her. Signe just smiled and nodded, then followed his lead and went to get cleaned up for lunch.
After lunch, Signe finished washing the rest of the laundry and then hung it up outside to dry. With that finished and with no other chores that needed tending to, Signe decided that she would head back home for the day. Even though the trip home was not long and she knew she would be home well before dark, Valborg insisted that she let him walk her home and refused to take no for an answer. Signe finally conceded, gave Ingelill a long hug goodbye as she promised to come by again in a week, then left with Valborg.
Though silence stretched between them the first few minutes of their walk, Signe quickly began to suspect there was something on her brother's mind that he wanted to talk to her about. There was a familiar look of deep concentration on his face as they walked along the trodden path, one that instantly let her know he was thinking very hard about something. She waited as patiently as she could for him to come out with it, but after the silence stretched on a few minutes longer, she finally had to cave and ask.
"Is there something on your mind, Valborg?" She asked knowingly.
Valborg blinked as though emerging from his own thoughts, then looked down at her. "Sorry, I was thinking about Ingelill," he confessed, his lips turning downward some. "And about the babe," he added, before heaving quietly through his nose. "I worry about them."
Signe smiled and reached over to pat his back. "I know you do, brother," she said sympathetically. "And I, nor anyone, could fault you for such feelings – you and Ingelill have been through much over the years. Anyone who suffered the loss that you two have would feel the same."
Valborg nodded slowly, then looked to her with inquiring eyes. "What was she speaking to you about?" He asked, using their current privacy to his advantage so that he could pry a little further into her and Ingelill's conversation. "Does she fear for the baby?"
"Yes, she does," Signe confirmed with a small sigh, which made Valborg frown unhappily. "Inge is just scared, as would be expected of a woman who had lost three babies before," she explained. "I think she is afraid to believe that this pregnancy is different, afraid to let herself hope too much," Signe continued, thinking back to her conversation with the woman – she was trying to remain vague as she could without completely keeping her brother in the dark, not wanting to betray anything Ingelill had wished to keep in confidence but not wanting to betray Valborg's trust in her either. "She is frightened of what another loss would do to both of you."
"I understand," Valborg said, heaving heavily, "because they are the same fears that plague me. If we lost this child as well…" He trailed off and shook his head, unable to complete the sentence. Signe didn't need for him to do so for her to understand how devastating another loss would be for Valborg and his wife. "I do not believe it will happen this time," Valborg finally continued, his tone taking on a strong note of confidence. "This child will be born healthy and strong, I am sure of it."
Signe smiled and squeezed his arm, making him look down at her again. "As am I, brother," she said reassuringly. "As am I."
Valborg smiled at her, clearly appreciating her supportive words.
A brief, comfortable silence passed between them as they continued on in the direction of the family house. After a few moments, though, Valborg looked down at her again, this time with a much more serious expression on his face.
"Signe, I wanted to walk you home because there is something I wished to discuss with you in private," he admitted, not catching her by surprise at all.
Signe quirked a brow at her brother, curious to know where this conversation was going. "Alright…" she trailed off slowly, silently beseeching him with her eyes to continue.
"It vill only be a few more months before the babe arrives," he started, eyebrows stitching together, "and with the day fast approaching, Inge and I have had many things to discuss and decide on." Signe frowned a bit, her curiosity growing with each word. "Those going on the raids will be leaving in a month and likely will not return for just as long, which means they will probably still be gone when Inge is due to give birth. Given our past…misfortunes," he said steadily, "neither of us is fond of the idea of her having to face childbirth alone." Valborg hesitated. "That is why I have decided not to join the raids this year."
Signe blinked at him in surprise. Of everything he could have possibly told her, this was not what she had been expecting to hear. Being the oldest and (arguably) best fighter amongst the siblings, Valborg had gone on the raids every year since he was seventeen, the one exception being two years previous, when he had come down with an illness just before the men left to raid and spent an entire month confined to his bed. Because of the profits that the raids yielded, it was something that Valborg looked forward to every year. It was odd to think of watching the boats depart with Valborg rather than watching him sail away on them, as she had done so many times in the past.
"I admit I am a bit surprised to hear this," Signe confessed, raising her eyebrows at her brother. "But I understand why you would want to remain here." She paused, then smile at him ruefully. "Our brothers will be very disappointed to hear it, Hallsteinn especially."
Being the two oldest, Valborg and Hallsteinn had always been two peas in a pod. Growing up everyone always knew that where one was, the other was surely close by. They did nearly everything together, whether that be carrying out chores, learning how to fight, or learning how to talk to girls. Now, as men, they not only raided together and fought side-by-side, but had taken it upon themselves to keep the family in line whenever their father could not. They weren't just brothers – they were best friends.
Valborg sighed and shrugged a shoulder. "Yes, I suspect they shall," he agreed, "but they will just have to do without me this year, I am afraid. Inge and the babe come first now," he stated firmly. "I think even Hallsteinn will have to understand my reason for staying behind."
Given the fact that Hallsteinn was a warrior through and through and was far more interested in finding glory on the battlefield than starting a family of his own – which was why he had never even come close to marrying, despite the fact that he was nearly twenty-four – Signe wasn't so convinced that he would understand. She didn't tell Valborg that, though.
"There is more Signe," Valborg continued, pulling her to a gentle halt with a hand on her shoulder and pinning her with a serious look. "I have watched you train over the years and have watched you grow stronger and stronger as a warrior. I believe the time for you to prove yourself as a worthy shieldmaiden has come," he said, making her heart suddenly skip a beat. "Know that it is my intention to speak with father and urge him to give you permission to join the raids in my stead."
Signe's eyes grew so large that they nearly bugged out of her head. She had been old enough to go on the raids for three years now, but thus far had not actually gotten to do so. Seeing as their father only had one arm, there was only so much that he could do to maintain their farm – and the chores he could carry out took nearly twice as long. The thought of him trying to take care of an entire farm one-handedly – literally – was absolutely absurd, so once they had all grown old enough to raid, Signe and her brothers had come to the agreement that at least one of them needed to stay behind during the summer season to help him with all the work.
Unfortunately for Signe, that someone had always been her.
"You are serious?" She asked, almost afraid to believe he actually would do as he said or to get her hopes up too high.
Valborg nodded. "Yes. I will already be here taking care of Ingelill and the babe – I will be able to help father as well," he said firmly. He then squeezed her shoulder and smiled encouragingly. "I know it has been a desire of yours to go on the raids for many years now. I think it only fair that you finally be allowed to go."
Without saying a word, Signe threw her arms around Valborg's waist and hugged him tightly, so happy she felt she might burst out of her skin. For so long she had been biding her time, waiting with forced patience until the day that she could finally step into her role as a shieldmaiden and see the world outside Hedeby – now that it might have very possibly arrived, she was so excited that she didn't even know what to do with herself. She wanted to jump for joy, she wanted to shout out her happiness for the whole world to hear, she wanted to run to Bjorn and tell him the good news.
Signe immediately stiffened as Bjorn's face flashed through her mind, then felt her happiness begin to deflate some.
Bjorn had wanted to go on the raids since he'd come of age as well, yet Earl Sigvard had always held him back. Because they were always left behind, their summer seasons were always spent together. While Signe's brothers were off travelling the world and plundering riches, they would spend their days training, talking about the foreign parts of the world they would someday see, or reenacting vicious battles that they had yet to take part in. They both dreamed of exploring unknown lands, but whenever they talked about it, it was always under the belief that they'd be doing it together.
Signe frowned deeply. How could she possibly go raid without Bjorn? How could she leave him behind to deal with Earl Sigvard by himself? She could only imagine how disappointed – possibly even hurt – he would be if she left to explore the world without him.
"What is wrong?" Valborg asked, noticing the shift in her demeanor as they released each other from the hug. "This is your dream, yes? I thought you would be happy to hear this," he stated, his confusion obvious.
"I am, Valborg, trust me. I am beyond happy with this news," she quickly reassured him. A frown still turned her lips downwards, though, and her eyebrows had furrowed together in consternation. "I just…I was thinking of Bjorn," Signed admitted, her cheeks flushing some. "We alvays thought we would raid together. If I go without him, he will be so very disappointed."
"He will not be going?" Valborg asked curiously.
Signe shook her head. "Not unless Earl Sigvard suddenly changes his mind, which is very unlikely," she stated dryly, mentally cursing the Earl in her head for being so stubborn and cruel.
Valborg made a thoughtful noise at that, but said nothing in response.
They continued on after that, both falling silent as they became lost in their thoughts. Signe continued to think about Bjorn and suddenly found herself dreading the next time they would see one another. He could read her so easily that she knew she would not be able to hide this information from him for long. He would start to ask questions that she would not be able to avoid, and then he would undoubtedly be upset when he learned what was to happen. She hoped that he would understand and that he would not be angry – she hoped he would be able to find it in himself to be happy for her.
"Signe," Valborg spoke up again, making her look up at him. There was an odd expression on his face, one that immediately made the air around them feel much more awkward. "There is something else I have been wanting to discuss with you, only I was not sure how to approach the topic…"
"Yes?" She prompted after he did not come out with it right away.
Valborg cleared his throat before speaking. "As you well know, you will be turning twenty this year," he stated matter-of-factly, now looking a bit uneasy. He even reached a hand up to rub the back of his neck, a sign that he was either nervous or uncomfortable. "Most young women your age are either married or betrothed, yet you are neither." Signe stiffened, pretty sure she knew where this part of the conversation was going. "Have you any interest in marrying?"
The subject of her marriage plans – or lack thereof – had been a popular one ever since Signe reached marrying age. She would not lie – there had been plenty of suitors over the years, both young and old, but she had rejected them all. It was not that she was necessarily opposed to the idea of marriage, because she did want a husband and children someday, but it was not something she was certain she wanted right now. Not when there was still so much that she wished to accomplish.
…or at least, that was what Signe liked to tell herself. Deep down, she knew that Bjorn was a large part of her reason for remaining unmarried. It was rather hard to consider marrying somebody else when her heart kept leading her back to Bjorn, after all. There were several young women her age who had not married because they were in love, who had chosen their husbands strictly by the sort of life he could provide for them - such and arrangement was really not that uncommon - but Signe wanted more than that. She wanted to marry for love like her parents had, like Valborg and Ingelill had. And if she had to be patient and wait for love to find her, then so be it.
"Is this you asking," Signe finally countered with a knowing look, "or father?"
Valborg cringed a bit, as though he knew he'd just been caught. "Both," he answered truthfully. And Signe was not surprised to hear it. Oleg knew how close she and Valborg were – of course he would send his oldest son in to worm information out of her.
Signe sighed and turned her eyes forward. "Of course I have interest in marrying," she said with slight exasperation. "I may want to be a shieldmaiden and explore other lands, but that does not mean I do not want a husband and children of my own. I am merely waiting for the right man to come along," she reassured him firmly.
Valborg hesitated for a moment. "Waiting for the right man to come along…or waiting for Bjorn to ask?"
Signe looked at him sharply, caught so off guard by his blunt question that, for a moment, she had no response. Her first though was that Ingelill had betrayed her trust and told Valborg about Signe's secret feelings, but she quickly decided that was probably not the case – Ingelill was trustworthy. She would never utter a word to anyone so long as Signe asked her not to. So then was she really that easy read? Had her other brothers noticed her growing affection for her friend as well? Or, she thought with mild alarm, had Bjorn noticed? Finally, with cheeks burning bright red from embarrassment, she pressed her lips together and turned her eyes forward.
"I know not what you speak of," she said, jutting her chin into the air and hoping to avoid another conversation about Bjorn. Though she could go to Valborg for anything and know he would listen, discussing her love life and her growing feelings for her best friend with him was not something she wanted to do. It was just too…strange.
"Yes, you do," Valborg countered without missing a beat. She would not meet his gaze, but she could feel his eyes boring into the side of her face. No doubt he was looking at her with that knowing expression he liked to wear when he knew he was being lied to. "You forget – I know you better than you know yourself, sister. I know your feelings for Bjorn run deeper than you like to admit."
Signe cursed Valborg in her head for being so perceptive. She should have known that he would notice – absolutely nothing escaped the man's attention, apparently not even the affections of a nineteen year old woman. Deciding that there was no point in denying it because Valborg would just see through her lies anyway, Signe came to a halt and turned a quirked eyebrow on her brother.
"And what if they do?" She asked, a hint of defensiveness lacing her words. "What then?"
Valborg sighed and shrugged. "Then I would admit that it does not surprise me. The two of you have been inseparable for four years now – it was only a matter of time before something like this happened," he stated matter-of-factly. There was an odd expression on his face, however, one that made Signe feel a bit wary of what he planned to say next. "But if I am to be honest," he continued cautiously, "it leaves me with some doubts."
Signe's eyebrows immediately came together with uncertainty. "What do you mean?" She asked with mounting uneasiness.
Again, Valborg sighed. "I like Bjorn, Signe," he started carefully, "as does father and our brothers. He has alvays treated you well and has been a good friend to you since he came to Hedeby." He paused for a moment as though collecting his thoughts. "But…" Signe did not like the look on his face, nor the hesitance with which he spoke. "But truthfully, I fear that you may be setting yourself up for heartache."
Signe did not know how to take her brother's admission. She had her own doubts where Bjorn was concerned, of course – how could she not when she was treading on such precarious ground? – but Signe at least still believed there could be more between them someday. Judging by the tone of Valborg's voice and the look on his face, he did not.
"You think Bjorn does not feel the same?" She asked bluntly, not bothering to beat around the bush.
"I think he is eighteen and that he is still a boy," Valborg corrected patiently, "a boy, furthermore, who does not yet know what he wants." Signe turned her eyes away, feeling disheartened by her brother's words. When Valborg saw the expression on her face, he heaved softly and reached out to place a hand on her shoulder. "I do not say this to cause you any hurt," he said gently. "I only say these things because I know better than you how men are at that age, and because I love you and do not want you to place your hope where there is none."
Signe was too stung to hear his words with a rational ear, though. Valborg had always been an honest man, but she had forgotten that sometimes his honesty could be painful, if not downright brutal. "Is it really so impossible to think that Bjorn might care for me in return?" She asked, shrugging Valborg's hand off before crossing her arms over her chest. "Am I that vile, brother?"
Valborg quirked a brow and mimicked her pose, crossing his large arms over his chest. "Do not say such foolish things, Signe, you know that is not the way of it," he said sternly. "How many men have we had to chase away over the years? How many men have come to father asking for your hand in marriage?" He proceeded to remind her, making her press her lips together tightly. "You are a beautiful woman and there are plenty who would be proud to call you their wife," he said firmly, leaving no room for argument, "I just am not sure Bjorn is one of them."
Signe sighed and raised a hand to rub her forehead for a moment, suddenly starting to feel an ache forming in her skull. This conversation had just taken a very unexpected turn – any happiness she had felt at learning of Valborg's plans to get her on the summer raids was quickly being overshadowed by a distinct feeling of hurt at his firm belief that she was wasting her time with Bjorn. There was a part of her that did not want to believe it was true, but there was another part that knew Valborg was hardly ever wrong about things like this. He did misjudge situations on occasion, true, but it was very rare.
Signe hoped this was one of those times.
"So what would you have me do, then, Valborg?" She asked, shrugging her shoulder at him helplessly. "Marry the next man who asks? Marry the richest one I can find? Marry for convenience rather than for love?"
Valborg sighed and gave her a weary look. "That is not what I am saying at all," he told her calmly. "You are still young, and there is a whole world of options before you. I am merely suggesting that you take the time to consider them all before you dedicate your heart to another. That is all."
She could tell by the look on his face that he was waiting for her to say something in return. Instead of answering however, Signe just turned on her heel and strode off, continuing in the direction of the house. She heard Valborg release a heavy heave and could imagine that he was probably rolling his eyes to the sky right then. After a few moments he followed after her, but Signe did not meet his gaze as he fell into step with her again.
As they walked in silence, Valborg's words continued to roll around in her mind. The whole situation was rather ironic, actually – here Valborg was warning her away from Bjorn and encouraging her to explore other marriage options, while barely two hours ago his wife had been doing the exact opposite. Quite suddenly, it felt as though she had the wise Balder on one shoulder and the trickster Loki on the other, both whispering words of advice into her ears that completely contradicted each other and left her confused as to what she should believe.
Was Ingelill right in think there might be a chance? Or was Valborg right in thinking there wasn't?
"You are angry with me," Valborg stated to break the silence.
Signe glanced over at him and sighed when she saw the crestfallen expression her brother was struggling to hide. "I am not angry," she said in resignation, "I am just…confused. Your words have given me much to think about," she admitted, squinting her eyes into the distance. It was an enormous relief when she saw that the house had popped into view – being home meant this conversation would soon come to an end.
Valborg moved closer and dropped a hand onto her shoulder. He seemed relieved to know she wasn't angry, but still looked at her with apologetic eyes. "I am sorry if my words were hurtful," he said sincerely. "It was not my intention."
Signe nodded. "I know."
They both seemed to run out of things to say after that, and spent the rest of the walk in silence.
That night, Signe could not sleep. She tossed and turned in her bed, alternating between staring at the ceiling and watching the flickering flames of the candles on the bedside table, huffing in annoyance every so often. All night long she had been thinking about Bjorn, her mind now a jumbled, confused mess after her contradicting conversations with Ingelill and Valborg. So consumed by her troubled musings was Signe that even her brothers and father noticed her unusual reclusiveness. Luckily she had been able to avoid having to tell them what was really bothering her by feigning a headache and retiring early.
she needed to get some sleep, otherwise she would be dead on her feet tomorrow and chores would be a nightmare. Exhausted, both mentally and physically, and determined to push Bjorn out of her mind for the night, Signe blew out the candles on her bedside table and shut her eyes, ready to force herself into sleep if she had to. For a few moments she laid completely still and focused on slowing her breathing, hoping a steady rhythm would help lure her into a peaceful slumber. She cleared her mind of any lingering thoughts, concentrating on nothing but breathing in through her nose, and out through her mouth. Finally, thankfully, she began to feel herself drifting toward sleep.
But just as her body started to grow heavy with the approaching slumber, a strange feeling suddenly washed over her, startling her back to full consciousness.
Signe's eyes popped open and her senses snapped back to attention in a flash. Any traces of sleep instantly evaporating, she sat up in bed and looked around her small, dark bedroom in confusion, willing her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting so that she could see her surroundings better. She wasn't sure why or how, but something about the atmosphere felt different, felt...off. It felt as though she was being watched, but there was nobody in the room with her. Signe felt her heart begin to pound in her chest as her eyes searched the room again, scarcely able to breathe she felt so uneasy - she thought she saw something move in the corner of her eye, a dark, wispy figure of some sort, but when she whipped her head around to look, it was gone.
Signe suddenly stiffened when a whisper filled her ears, so soft and faint that she could not understand what was being said. Her eyes darted around the room as the whispers grew louder, searching vainly for the source of the sound but finding no such thing. Signe was confused, she had no idea what was happening. Who was this that she was hearing? And what were they saying?
"Signe…" the voice hissed, suddenly much louder and much clearer than before. "When the son returns to the father, that is when your journey shall begin."
She felt her entire body stiffen. She had heard those words before, though they did not make much more sense now than they had back then. She also recognized the voice that had said them, even if it had been nearly seven years since she last heard it. it was the seeress's voice. Signe's eyes did another rapid sweep of the room, expecting that the woman would emerge from the shadows and jump at her at any given second. But no such thing happened, and Signe did not see the mystical woman anywhere.
"What is this?" She finally found the courage to ask, voice filled with uncertainty. "What are you telling me this again?"
But again, the only response she received was, "When the son returns to the father, that is when your journey shall begin."
Signe frowned and felt herself start to grow frustrated. "Why do you keep saying this? Whom do you speak of?" She asked, desperate to know the answer to the question that had plagued her for so long. "Answer me!"
"When the son returns to the father, that is when your journey shall begin!"
And then, just like that, the voice abruptly faded away and the strange feeling vanished, leaving the room as still and silent as it had been mere minutes ago and leaving Signe to stare confusedly into the encompassing darkness.
Thoughts?
For those of you who aren't familiar with my style, I'm a 'slow burn' kind of writer. Which means I take the time to set up the groundwork instead of just diving right into the main plot. So I know we're off to a bit of a slow start, but trust me – it pays off in the end. Please be patient with me!
P.S. I'm not good at predicting my own stories (often time my writing gets away with me), but I predict Torstein will come into the picture in about three chapters. Just to give ya'll something to look forward to!