Hay hay yall!

Happy Sunday, welcome back and hope yall's week was fantastic. I've got to say, responses from last chapter kind of blew me away. (Thanks!) I'm so glad yall enjoyed the chapter as much as I did – especially the more gentle, subtle conversation at the end between Petra and Levi because while not like, jaw dropping action, I really, really like those sorts of moments between pairings. It's the little things, you know?

And did I not warn you about my being evil and vindictively using teasers? I warned you all haha, and I do have quite the vindictive streak about me. Ah, but I jest. It's all in good fun, and for the most part I do enjoy giving a sort of head's up week to week as I think it gives a little umph to know what to expect in the chapter to come.

Either way, I'll be quiet here and let yall get to your reading. Enjoy!

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...

"Well I think you're really going to have to get over that, Captain." Petra laughed as they walked through the door into her bedroom, still in the middle of their conversation and laughing lightly between each other.

Levi followed behind her, closing the door as he shook his head in undeniable amusement, "Oh so you bring it up and it's fine, but I talk about it and I just have to get over it."

Petra had started to move toward her closet, though paused in step and looked over her shoulder, a devilish smile pulling at her lips, "Yeah, that sounds about right!"

Levi scoffed and stood in the middle of her room while Petra disappeared into her closet for a moment, her voice echoing in the small space as she spoke, "Thank Maria I can finally take these shoes off! My feet are killing me."

Levi cocked his head slightly, "Wait, I thought you liked your shoes?"

Petra reappeared a few moments later, considerably shorter now that she had removed her foot ware, and as she had predicted, the bottom of her dress hung a few inches across the ground as she moved. She shrugged, "I do. It was nice not being the shortest person in the room for once – sorry Captain – and what was more, did you see what they did for my ass?"

Levi gave a half snort at her words, shaking his head at her forwardness, though she continued speaking undaunted, "But it certainly wasn't without consequences though. I know I'll be feeling it in my legs tomorrow, and there are a few spots where the straps bit into my skin and rubbed my feet raw."

Petra moved a foot out in front of herself in a sort of display, and Levi noticed the red patches and swollen skin from where her shoes had crossed over her foot every which way. She sighed and placed her foot back beneath her, "The shop keeper said that was bound to happen until I break them in all the way, but I don't know if I can stomach going through that again." She gave a laugh, "I think I'll just stick to my riding boots for now; leave the heels to the professionals."

Levi appraised her expression, finding a sort of curiosity wash over him as he watched his seemingly pleased subordinate. He pressed his lips together, speaking lowly, "Petra, did you have a good time?"

She gave an immediate quiet laugh, admittedly surprised by his question and the heavy stare he observed her with. There was a comfortable silence as she considered his question for a moment and shrugged, "In some ways, I suppose. I enjoyed learning about what happens every year with all the posturing and such – as it turns out I actually really like learning about your role as an Officer. It's very interesting to me."

Levi nodded in agreement, also noticing that that was a rising trend within his subordinate. Petra paused in thought, grinning in recollection, "I definitely enjoyed seeing Hanji and Erwin outside of uniform, and on that note, I can't deny that I enjoyed getting out of uniform myself - get to actually feel like a woman for a change."

Petra looked up at Levi directly then, a soft smile on her red lips as though she remembered something, "No offense to you or the rest of the squad of course, but I feel that sometimes I'm just another one of the guys and it was kinda nice dressing up like this. On that note, I'm not really sure I even said thank you earlier in the shop, you know, for buying everything? I'm sorry Captain, because I really loved it. The banquet, maybe not so much but…"

Levi gave an understanding nod, finding that he shared similar feelings about the event, and Petra's expression changed as she looked up toward him and trailed off. She bit her bottom lip, a habit she had when she was nervous or pensive, and a blush was beginning to turn her cheeks a gentle shade of pink. He wasn't sure what she was thinking about that suddenly made her so nervous, but he remained silent and continued to watch her in question. She rocked forward as though she were intending to take a step toward him, though seemed to think better of it and rested back into her heels, blushing all the more as she stole another glance toward him.

She looked to the floor as she spoke, her voice quiet as though admitting some sort of secret, "But…I did enjoy being with you, Captain." She shrugged once, then pulled at the fabric of her dress gently, "I kinda, I dunno, I guess I like that you got to see me like this, dressed up and everything. When we would talk, sometimes you got this…" she gave a shy smile, "Look in your eye when you watched me and-"

As she spoke, she looked up toward him, watching him with that soft sort of smile of hers that made the breath catch in his lungs as a sort of tension, a spark of electricity, filled the space between them until it was almost suffocating. She didn't hold his gaze for long as she spoke, but not because she was looking across the room or to the ground again – no, this time she was looking at his lips.

Levi realized this almost immediately, now very aware of what Petra was thinking about, the nature of her gaze and her sudden shyness; what exactly it was that she had wanted to do that made her blush and rock in place indecisively. He held back a sigh as Petra continued to watch him with unfulfilled want and obvious longing as she wrestled with her thoughts, and her own lips parted as lazy, distracted words continued to be spoken, even though it was obvious that her mind was completely elsewhere.

So was his.

It hadn't mattered, Levi noted to himself as his subordinate watched him with a vulnerable, distracted stare that didn't meet his eyes.

He had the Squad to consider, his position as her Commanding Officer – a hundred reasons why it was a bad idea, why going down that path with Petra was too risky – a guaranteed fire hazard at best and an all-out hurricane at worst.

It hadn't mattered, Levi noted to himself with a note of finality

Because he was already leaning in.

He took the step forward that Petra herself had been too cautious to take, wrapping an arm around her back and pulling her closer to him; pressing his lips against hers firmly with an exhale of relief, because fucking hell she looked so damn good, and when she watched him like that, he knew full well that he didn't have the discipline required to ever deny her for even a second.

For a moment he could feel Petra tense in response, shocked by his actions to such an extent she wasn't sure what to do, but finally gave a contented sigh in return and pressed her lips against his softly, her hands resting on his chest for a moment before she ran a hand over his shoulder and around the back of his neck as she returned his kiss timidly, as though testing the waters in confusion and uncertainty.

Their lips met just once, for a split second, and Levi opened his eyes, checking to make sure that he hadn't crossed any boundaries or read her actions wrong, feeling relief when Petra also watched him with similarly hesitant, wide eyes. There was a moment where neither of them moved – simply sat in each other's close embrace in question – and Levi wasn't sure who moved first after that, but their lips were hungrily pressed together in the next moment, not so subtle or hesitant, and no longer gentle as though they were both equally as desperate to have a small piece of the other.

When Levi had kissed her at the wedding, he remembered it was forced – a formality; he knew full well that Erwin, who was so hung up on all the details, would have had something to say if he didn't honor the tradition, but he also knew that Petra had enough on her plate to worry about without him dropping the bomb of their upcoming kiss. As a sort of compromise, their joke of a kiss had been sudden and short and to the point - perfectly meaningless - but amusing in its own right he supposed because her response had been rather memorable and comedic.

This though, Levi decided as he felt Petra so close to him, her lips warm and her breath on his face as her soft lips danced against his desperately - this was infinitely better. He ran his hands up her back, across the exposed skin that he had once been so intentionally cautious as to not touch, kissing her more deeply as he pulled her plump bottom lip between his, his hands now running over her bare shoulders as his thumbs drew mindless patterns against her skin.

Petra pulled away for a moment, her lips slightly swollen from his kiss as she breathed heavily in attempts to catch her breath. She looked up toward him with half lidded eyes, her mouth just slightly open as she panted from the lack of air and the sheer rush from their passionate acts. Seeing her open lips and her flushed expression, Levi couldn't deny the tempting invitation that she was to him, leaning down once more toward her for a second time and running his tongue just slightly along the edge of her parted lips because gods, he wanted more. He smirked against her skin as Petra gave an exhale of what he could only label as a sort of submission, fully giving into his hold before standing up on her toes and kissing him more passionately, her lips soft and pressing wantonly against his in a way that was so surprising coming from his more reserved subordinate, yet still so undeniably welcome.

More than welcome, perhaps.

Perhaps, he realized as he found himself holding her, there was some part of him that had needed this, and had needed it more than he wanted to recognize or come to terms with even now.

He kissed her more heatedly in return, returning passion for passion; their mouths open and less precise as a sort of building desire began to take them by storm. Levi's heart was pounding in his chest and he found his hands moving back up her shoulders, palming the skin across her shoulder blades again as he caressed the bare skin of her back. It was as Petra continued kissing him deeply that he lightly bit down on her bottom lip possessively, want running through him in overwhelming waves, being spurred on all the more by Petra's welcoming responses.

She gave the smallest of moans - a breathy and sensual exhale - as her bottom lip was pulled through his teeth; the sound causing a strong jolt of desire to run through Levi's entire body in a primal result. In that moment, his fingers were moving across her back all the more, intentionally searching for the dress's zipper with purpose. He knew full well that she wasn't wearing much, if anything, underneath her dress, and all it would take was just one flick of his wrist for the garment to come pooling down at his feet. The right touches, the right kisses and the right attention – he knew he could make her melt with pleasure in such a way where there wouldn't be time for her to even think about pushing him away - he would make sure of that. Fuck, it had been far too long since he had been with a woman, and her eyes, her full lips, her body, the feel of her pressed up against him – he couldn't deny the obvious any longer.

It wasn't the dress, it wasn't the atmosphere, it wasn't her shoes or any other excuse he could think of to explain their suddenly igniting chemistry that was making his head spin and his body ache with palpable desire.

It was just Petra herself.

It had always been just Petra, and oh did he fucking want her.

They had been spending so much time together, and this entire night, she had been so…fuck! He found himself returning a slight moan into her mouth, as her kiss ignited his senses and his own thoughts ran away with him all the more. She had been so flirtatious, so bold, so audaciously telling the entire staff that she was his wife – and now here she was, in his arms, pressed up against him and eagerly seeking his touch when she could have been with any man she had wanted throughout any of the years previous-

He had every intention on pulling the zipper downward, desire fueling him in a sort of lust ridden haze, urging him to go however far he could with the extremely fuckable woman in his arms – when he blinked in realization, his eyes suddenly wide as he remembered just who it was that he was thinking so crassly about. This wasn't just some woman, this was his own subordinate, his Petra – and he was intending to cross a bold, important line without so much as a passing thought as to where she stood on the matter.

He immediately took his hands off from her and took a considerable step back, mentally chiding himself – ashamed that he, for even a moment, had gotten so lax and careless with his own subordinate as to allow his desires to take over him so effortlessly. His own breathing was heavy and he looked toward Petra with narrowed, hard eyes as he forced control over himself before he did something he could never recover from.

"I'm your Commanding Officer." He stated lowly with a clipped tone, panting as he looked toward her narrowly.

Petra watched him in sudden confusion, and he felt a pang of guilt when unmistakable surprise and hurt flashed through her eyes as she now stood in the middle of her room, alone. His harsh, harsh tone, his narrowed gaze – it wasn't her that he was mad at, it was only himself, but Petra had been the immediate subject of his gaze, and as a result, she believed he was watching her like that because he was displeased with her; blaming her for their passionate lapse of boundaries. Levi swore under his breath and dropped his gaze to the ground immediately, but the damage was already done.

Petra's green eyes went wide and she gave a single, guilty nod as she looked to the floor in obvious dejection. She chewed her bottom lip and she cleared her throat as though trying to find some kind of response, but coming up painfully short as a silence extended over them.

For a moment Levi considered approaching her again, whispering some nonsense in her ear that was reassuring to some extent and holding her close against him again, but now she looked even more vulnerable and desirable and it would be so easy to manipulate her. It would be so effortless to give her such light touches that soothed at first but gradually became more heated, to tell her all the right things that he could make sound so sincere in the moment, to twist her mind and heart because she trusted him to never play her like that…fuck, he just couldn't trust himself right now.

Now, even now, he realized with a frustrated sort of shame… he still wanted her. Badly.

Damn, he just needed to get out of her room completely. He knew full well that he wouldn't actually do anything to her, but the longer he stayed, the pain of wanting what he couldn't have just grew stronger and frustrated him all the more. He was certain that Petra hadn't known the extent of just how far he had been willing to go – she hadn't realized what he thought about, what he had been so close to doing.

Still…as badly as he wanted the gorgeous woman in front of him, he wanted to retain her trust even more. He wanted to be someone worthy of that overwhelming confidence she watched him with, with that special stare of hers that he could only relate to Petra specifically. He had watched over her and trained her intentionally for five years now, and to practically throw it all away for something like this…? As her Commanding Officer, he was supposed to protect her, yet instead he so carelessly almost took advantage of her and… Fuck, he was livid!

Still staring into the ground, he shook his head as his teeth were pressed together. He repeated himself for his sake. He needed to hear it - to be reminded of the obvious because some part of him seemed to have forgotten, "I'm your Captain."

"Levi, you're my husband…" Petra whispered softly then, a brokenness to her voice. He wasn't sure if she was trying to convince him otherwise, or if she was trying to defend herself. Either way it didn't matter, because she wasn't the one who had crossed any boundaries. She wasn't the one who needed the reminder in the first place.

He exhaled and looked toward her, attempting to soften his expression because he wasn't trying to take his anger out on her, yet he was rightfully angry just the same. He needed to be angry - he needed to be outraged because anything less wouldn't have been fair. Had he not just given people hell, been willing to come to her defense when others had treated her so disrespectfully? Was he suddenly exempt, when he wanted her in the same manner other men did, but because it was him and not them, it was suddenly okay?

Fuck, he knew better.

He shook his head and watched her with a heavily guarded and cautious stare, "It's only on paper, Petra."

Tears were beginning to form in her eyes and Petra blinked a few times in attempts to reign her emotions in, a sarcastic and bitter smile coming across her face, "Only on paper…" she repeated in a tense whisper.

There was a long silence that fell over the pair, neither seemingly sure what to do. While Levi wanted nothing more than to get out of her room – to mentally berate himself for his lack of control and reestablish some boundaries that had fallen lax for her own protection – there was still that part of him that wanted to linger, wanted to remain in her good graces even though he sure as hell didn't deserve it.

He supposed it was just that same selfish side of him acting out again, and it left him feeling torn and conflicted as the silence extended and the tension continued building between the suddenly distanced pair.

There was a seriousness that hung in the air and Petra gave a long exhale, finally breaking the silence as she gave an empty, hollow laugh. "I feel silly." she admitted finally before bringing her hands to her face and groaning, "But you're right…" she mumbled lowly to herself, and Levi wasn't sure why there was a sinking feeling in his stomach.

She was refusing to look at him now and she brought an arm over herself almost self-consciously as she spoke, "You are my Commanding Officer, and we talked about this, right? How there wouldn't be…" her voice trailed off again and she shrugged, "It's just that, I kinda thought…"

She blinked the tears away and cleared her throat then, lifting her head as though finally preparing to look at him, but at the last second losing her nerve as she dropped her gaze back onto the floor just the same. She nodded toward the door and tried to bring a sort of chipperness to her voice, the fake pleasantries only making him more frustrated as he watched her with a heightened sense of guilt and concern, "Right. So…anyway, thank you for walking me back, Captain. Um, it's been a busy day, you know? I've got to clean all of this off so I can report for duty tomorrow so…"

Levi was still standing in his place, unsure if he should actually leave or not because he knew Petra well – not that he even had to know her well with an expression like that; it was obvious she was hurt and putting up the bravest face she could simply because he was still in the room. He moved to take a step toward her, wanting to…well, he wasn't sure what but aware he knew he needed to do something. The instant he shifted however, he watched Petra recoil into herself and look even further across the room in attempts to avoid meeting his gaze, gun-shy and guarded from him specifically so it seemed.

He frowned at this, angry and frustrated all the more with the entire circumstance because his subordinate should never have to flinch or back away from him like she was doing now, and worse still, it was his fault. He had never been good at this sort of thing; he still felt guilty and by extension unqualified to console her, and another silence fell across the room as he wondered how to handle the situation.

He should be the last person trying to comfort her all things considered…but he was the only one there and she looked so vulnerable and dejected; he had to try. His voice was more soft, cautious and gentle in attempts to reach her, "Petra are you…okay?"

There was a bitter snort that came out of her – even Petra seemed to find his question ironic so it seemed, and she shook her head in dark amusement, an anger present in her tone. "Look, you…" she exhaled sadly then, the suddenly tense edge leaving her voice as it seemed she simply couldn't remain angry with him.

"Levi, you're my Commanding Officer – you shouldn't have to worry yourself with that sort of thing, right? I'll be-" she trailed off again, leaving her previous sentence unfinished. She cleared her throat and she slowly, cautiously rose her gaze and looked at him directly.

For a long moment, she just stared at him. There was confusion, hurt, embarrassment, obvious things left unsaid that swirled deeply in the depths of her green eyes, but she bit her lip and again nodded toward the door firmly.

Her voice was quiet, but certain, "You should go."

Levi pressed his lips together, unsatisfied by the obvious rift caused by the interaction, but unable to find the right words as Petra watched him with hard eyes that left little room for discussion.

"…Right." He walked toward the edge of her room, opening the door and walking out quietly, turning slightly as he closed the door behind himself as he stole one last glance toward her on his way out. He stood outside her door for a few moments as the weight of all that had happened hung over him like a dark shroud, smirking beside himself when after a few minutes, he heard a few steps from inside her room and then a metallic sort of click a few seconds later.

Petra locked the door.

He wasn't sure if she knew that he was still right there, a mere two feet away, and he concluded all at once that there was no way she knew, because he heard a sort of brushing against the door and he could see her shadow underneath the door frame grow considerably darker; Levi guessed that she had sunk to the ground, resting against the back of the door most likely - something she wouldn't have done if she knew he was still lingering.

It was then that a faint sniffling grabbed his attention that eventually grew into stronger, consistent cries.

She was crying, he realized, and a concerned frown came to his face as renewed guilt washed over him with a vengeful vigor. He knew full well that Petra had incorrectly assumed he was angry at her and that he subsequently rejected her, though that couldn't have been any further from the truth.

He had been so eager, far too quick to jump at the opportunity, and Petra deserved nothing less than respect. The fact that for even a moment he had sunk to something so low – would even consider treating her, a true meaningful friend, like that…

He didn't deserve her tears. Not someone like him.

Perhaps though, Levi thought as he stood just on the other side of her door, listening to her cry and debating what sort of role he should play...

Perhaps…it was better like this.

She was upset now, but she was strong. Given time she would grow complacent and eventually move past it, move past whatever it was that she seemed to see in him, and their strange song and dance would finally come to an anticlimactic, stalemate sort of end – a fire that merely smoldered out until it was nothing at all but a distant memory, like ashes dispersed in the wind, with no chance of being rekindled again. Things would finally go back to normal, for real normal - just as he had once stated that they would.

They would go about their day to day responsibilities as members of the military, he would still challenge and lead his team with every trick and tool he had at his disposal, and that would be that. He would…miss her, he realized numbly as he stared into the door with a conflicted expression, but that was the price to pay for letting himself get too comfortable and stringing her along; he supposed it was only fair that he too suffer through a bit of misery after all was said and done.

Feeling a bitter sort of resolve and clarity wash over him, Levi put his hands in his pockets and left her.

He left her knowingly, on the ground, crying over him because he had wronged her – and he was walking away just the same.

He really was the worst kind of person.

It was for the best, he knew, though the guilt in his stomach and the pain in his chest would linger for some time, and it would be days before he could look her in the eye again.

...

End of Chapter

...

*pokes head out from ridiculously large shield*

Okay so I know that may not have been what yall were expecting from their first kiss but…

*dodges baby grand piano*

But you've GOT to admit that was one hell of a first kiss, right? Call me what you will for how it ended, but if I do say so myself, the buildup was there, and the payoff was everything. I hope yall are satisfied with the passion there, because oh was it there. But. No matter how many times I wrote this scene out back in the day, it always ended up something like what you just read – which I'll have you know (fun fact) wasn't my 'original' ending when I planned this section out in my head all those months back. I originally thought it would have been funny, or with Petra being so surprised that Levi had kissed her, that she almost was just like 'oh' and Levi smirked and walked out, amused by her innocence – something like that was the original ending for the banquet arc.

It's just…the more I worked with my characters, the more I realized that a certain Captain…doesn't mess around. He devotes himself fully to whatever task is at hand, and if he got it in his head that Petra's an attractive woman that he wants to pursue, even if for only a moment, I could only see it going one way because he's an all or nothing sort of guy; that's just how he is.

With that in mind, it made things rather black and white because it became an all roads lead to Rome scenario.

And I won't feel bad for giving you guys in character situations like this, at least, to the best of my ability. Fear not guys, we've got a long road ahead of us – so let's get there one step at a time :)

Till next week guys,

Midnight