A/N Thank you so much for the reviews! Greatly appreciated and we're glad you are enjoying this little experiment as much as we are x
-OG-
6 months later
"They say a woman who changes her hair is about to change her life"
I'm smiling like an idiot because the hair dresser was abso-bleedin'-lutely right! I'm changing my life, step by step.
"Wait!" I almost shout (definitely shout) out of both excitement and nerves.
"I've changed me mind. I don't wanna go a different shade of blonde. I wanna go back to me roots - chestnut brown! And I wanna cut it! You know like all the celebs have it, a lob I think they call it?"
The hairdresser smiles back at me, I'm sure she's more than used to muppets like me changing their minds last minute.
"I feel like you've got a story to tell Molly"
"I wouldn't even know where to start. But I know where I'm gonna end"
It had taken all of my courage to face the fall out, courage I didn't even know I had and I nearly didnt find. Nearly went home and told Dad to rebook it all like the good little girl I'd been playing for so long.
The fighting, the shouting, the fear and upset it caused for the little bleeders and me mum had nearly derailed the courage I found during that cab ride home. The courage I gained from feeling Lady Luck was shining on me that day. The courage I needed to take control.
The way Dad had tried to hurt me and physically sling me out as I packed me bag to leave all by myself finally flipped a switch in mum. She finally saw red, finally realised that her kids deserved better. That she deserved better! When her and Nan found out the full extent of Dave's threats, well that was the finally nail in his coffin. She too decided it was time to take back her life and Nan decided he was gettin' lobbed off the nearest bridge into the path of an artic lorry on the M25 in one of her dodgy mate Eddie's cheap rugs.
"Nice innit, all this pampering" Mum whispers from the chair beside me, still not used to a small luxury like getting' her hair done.
"We deserve it mum!"
Things have finally turned a corner in the Dawes house. What with me AND mum now working in the supermarket with plenty of help from Nan and Bella on babysitting duties. Our bills are actually being paid on time and there's always food in the fridge, a first us. We are finally free of the dead weight that is Dave Dawes.
The kids are happy, happiest I've ever seen them actually. And Mum is like a new woman. She's even started taking extra care of herself and she's got new found confidence since losing her ball and chain.
Me on the other hand, well I'm still only half happy, there something missing from me life – not quite sure what it is yet, but I know it's something important. And no, it ain't bloody Artan.
I can honestly say I've never envisioned myself working in a supermarket but it's an honest day's living and it ain't gonna be forever. Just long enough to get us back on our feet and like Nan pointed out, I'm still young enough to do whatever I please - the bonus is I've made some decent friends. Friends who most definitely wouldn't shag my bloke when my back is turned.
Speaking of Artan, I dodged that bullet in more ways than one. Never even saw him again after the registry office. Once Dad had made his frantic call to let Artan know his 'little trollop of a daughter' weren't going to marry him, he called off the deal and did one. Still, it's something that plays on my mind since though. It was just too easy to get rid of him but I'll rolled with it, because what bleeding choice do I have?
On the whole life is finally looking up.
Something else that played on my mind, or rather someone was Charles James -The impossibly handsome wanker who in the end turned out to be not much of a wanker at all. He'd saved me trotters and quite possible a trip to the cop shop that day by shouting me a cab but not only that, he'd probably saved my life. He planted the seeds of doubt I needed to make me see that what I was doing was wrong. An outside influence that really shook me awake.
If I was being completely honest with you, I would say that I spend approx 98% of my time thinking about him and those chocolate brown eyes and the way his toned, tanned arms looks when he took off his jacket. Not forgetting those rather large hands and what they could do to a woman but not just any woman, what they could do to me!
I close my eyes as the hairdresser begins cutting away the years of dried out, bleached out hair that was now a metaphor for my old life. Gone!
"Don't open until I'm done" she's squealing now.
I keep me eyes shut as per happy's request and take a moment to call on Lady Luck to bring Charles my way once again. Or at least a suitable body double – must have the hands though.
"Open" she squeals at me once more – maybe she's a bit mental?
I've never really taken any pride in my own reflection. I mean, I know I'm not ugly but that's all I've ever really had to say on the matter. There's never been anyone who's made me feel beautiful like what you see on the telly when the get goes all soppy after a compliment. Love like that don't exist for girls like me.
I actually have to do a double take at me reflection. I'm all glossy dark locks worthy of one of them cringe hair flips and shiny enough to send light beams into space. But it's my eyes that really catch my attention ... they're sparkling again. Haven't seen them do that in a long time! I look like a new woman.
"I love it" I'm crying now like some muppet but no one could truly understand how much this means to me except me mum who's also crying like an idiot.
"That's my girl" she chokes out, grabbing my hand, giving a gentle squeeze and I only realise now that she's started to show me affection again, how much she didn't before and how much I've missed it.
Tears, thank you's and handing over hefty wads of cash over with, we're now off for a posh lunch, and by posh I mean the Whimpy but we're actually gonna pay instead of doing a bunk on Dad's orders. That's only if they've forgotten that we're barred thanks to dad.
My eyes are accidentally drawn to the camo clad idiot standing on the high street. Don't he know he'll get a kicking for looking like that round here?
"It's rude to stare" he barks – wanker!
"Weren't staring at you so piss off"
He seems amused more than antagonised and thrusts one of his leaflets under my nose.
"No thanks mate. I dodge enough shootings round this shithole with volunteering to have me nut used as target practice an' all"
Imagine me in the army? Imagine if I had one of them big fuck off swords that Charles had. Can think of a few twats I'd teach a lesson with one of them bad boys.
He's moved onto his next victim and it irks me that he didn't try harder to persuade me, like I'm not good enough for him to waste his sales pitch on.
"Oi"
Thats got his attention.
"Did you just fucking Oi me?" He's seething now.
"And what if I was interested in joining?"
"You're not!"
He's right, I've got no interest in joining to be honest. I just am a bit interested in knowing about the army since actually meeting a fully fledged, sword carrying soldier in such circumstances.
Mums gobsmacked as I follow me new mate (who I think is trying to avoid me now) into his shop. All seems quite interesting, this army business. Might even use any new skills I could acquire to bump of Artan if I ever see him again.
I'm casually browsing the 'literature' what this posh twat soldier calls his leaflets and then I see him. Mr Tall, dark and Handsome - the poster boy of her majesty's army.
"That's Captain Charles James, his medals speak for themselves. One of the British army's finest officers" he informs me but I already know exactly who he is. His face has been playing on my mind for some time now.
"Cor I'd sign up if they all look like him" mum's dribbling too.
I can't take my eyes off him. I need to find Charles James. Even if it's just to thank him for making me realise I was about to ruin me life. With the fear of sounding like a raging stalker, the need and the urge to know him is breathtaking.
The few words written under his photo had the power to end that dream.
'Currently deployed in Afghanistan'
Well that's just shit ain't it.