A short and angsty Jeller ficlet that was born out of an image that buried itself in my mind until I wrote this. Set sometime during s3. Originally written as two parts but combined here. Thanks again to my beta.

Scared

Jane was scared. Despite all the things she and Kurt had faced over the years, alone or together, she had never been this scared. She was afraid she was losing him. As if on cue, Kurt moaned faintly, his cheek pillowed on her thigh as he lay on the floor next to her, nearly unconscious.

The men who were holding them had savagely beaten Kurt, for what had felt like hours to Jane. She had begged for them to stop as she watched, but her pleas had gone unanswered. Finally, they had released Kurt's hands from the hook he'd been hanging on and dragged him into an old storage room, before unceremoniously dumping him on the floor and throwing Jane in there with him.

She looked down at him again as she kept running her hand through his hair gently, hoping to soothe him.

"Shhh…try not move. Just lie still," she whispered to him, tears brimming her eyes. She felt so helpless at that moment as she looked down at her husband.

Kurt's cheek was covered in blood, courtesy of the large cut he had above his eyebrow. His eye was swollen shut, a large bruise already forming on his cheek. But those were still minor injuries. What worried Jane the most was his torso and back. She could hear the rasp in his breaths, and feel the shallow breathing as he lay there. When she had carefully lifted his shirt, she had seen the beginnings of the bruising around his kidneys and his stomach. Running her hand gently over Kurt's stomach, he had cried out in pain at the slightest pressure. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I had to look," she had apologized softly and pressed a loving kiss to his temple.

She knew he was bleeding internally. And if he didn't get to a hospital soon, there was a risk he would die in her arms. Kurt was fading away, she could feel it. His skin was getting clammy and Jane could feel his rapid heartbeat under her fingers as she rested them on the pulse point of his neck.

She had managed to activate the new experimental tracker when the men had thrown them into this makeshift cell. She only hoped it worked, and that the team would be able to find them in time.

"Please, hold on, my love," she murmured, the tears spilling onto her cheeks now. "The team will be here soon," she forced herself to go on, while silently praying that it was true. It would have to be. She couldn't lose Kurt.

Listening carefully, Jane couldn't hear any movement from the outside. The only thing she heard was Kurt's labored breathing. Most of the men holding them must have left the building.

With every passing moment, her fear for Kurt increased. "Where is the team? Please, let the tracker work."

She ran a hand gently over Kurt's cheek, her touch causing him to open his eyes slowly. She noticed his face was covered in cold sweat.

His voice was a weak, confused whisper. "Jane…"

Fear squeezed Jane's heart when she heard his voice. It was so brittle.

Wiping away her tears, she swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke to him tenderly. "I'm right here, Kurt. I'm here." Wanting to reassure him, she reached behind his back and pulled him into her lap as carefully as she could. Still, a moan escaped his lips.

"I'm sorry. I know it hurts," she whispered to him and pressed her lips to his forehead in a silent apology, while cradling him in her arms. He pressed his cheek into the crook of her neck, releasing a shuddering, pained whimper. Jane sheltered Kurt against her while speaking softly to him. "Shh..Stay still. It's going to be okay. Help's on the way and we'll get you to a hospital. Just stay still."

A little while later, Jane heard noises from outside the room and automatically tightened her arms around Kurt; her muscles tensed as she prepared to fight. She would not let them hurt him again, no matter what the odds or consequences.

But then, she heard a familiar voice.

"Weller! Jane!"

It was Zapata. Relief filled her mind and she relaxed a fraction, kissing Kurt's brow lightly before calling out to their friends.

"Tasha! In here!"

Soon, she heard the rhythmic pounding as the people on the other side worked to break down the door. It gave away with a resounding crack, and Tasha stepped in with her weapon drawn.

Tasha surveyed the room, quickly making sure there were no threats. "Jane, are you okay?"

Jane cast a distraught look at her friend. She heard the fearful tremor in her own voice as she spoke. "Get an ambulance, now. It's Kurt…" "Please, help him," her mind wanted to scream. She saw Tasha's features soften at first as she took in Kurt's condition, but then Tasha balled her fist, her expression hardening and determination taking over as turned on her heels and spoke urgently into her comms.

As Tasha left, Jane turned her attention back to the man she loved, cradled against her. Kurt's eyes were closed and you might think he was asleep, if not for his brow furrowed in pain and the perspiration on his skin glistening in the faint light of the room. Jane caressed his cheek tenderly, needing the physical contact, needing to reassure herself he was still with her. "Stay with me," she pleaded in a whisper.

Waiting for the ambulance felt like hours to Jane, although she knew it couldn't have been longer than 10 minutes at the most. As the EMTs entered Jane gingerly lay Kurt on the ground so that they could examine him. He barely reacted as the they tried to talk to him. As one of the medics started to ask Jane questions about his medical history and about what had happened, the other one leaned over Kurt, pressing his hands to Kurt's sides. Kurt wailed at the pressure and tried to move his arm to swing away the source of pain. Jane couldn't help giving the man a quick glare, even though she knew everything the medic did was necessary. But she was afraid for Kurt and felt she was ready to do anything to ease his suffering.

She answered the questions the best she could, while she watched them cut off his shirt and his jeans, leaving him only in his boxers. Jane couldn't bite back the sob that escaped as she saw the extent of the bruising on his torso.

Next, the medic explained to Jane that with Kurt being semi- conscious and not really responding to questions they couldn't rule out possible spinal injuries, so they had to immobilize him for the transport to the hospital. She watched them work carefully but efficiently as they put him on a backboard and put a C-collar on him, followed by an oxygen mask on his face.

When the medics lifted Kurt on the gurney, Jane woke up from her trance. "Wait, please," she asked the other EMT quietly and took a step towards Kurt. The medic gave her a compassionate smile and nodded. His tone was understanding as he spoke.

"Go ahead. But don't take too long. The sooner we get him to the trauma center, the better."

Jane approached Kurt and gently took his hand into hers. She leaned in and spoke softly, only to him.

"Kurt..."

He opened his eyes slowly to her voice, his look a mix of pain and distress.

She caressed his hand he held in hers, hoping her touch would offer him some comfort. "Kurt, you're going to be okay. I'll see you in the hospital." She kissed his forehead tenderly and whispered a hushed "I love you" against him before rising up.

She cast a thankful look at the EMT. "Thank you," she said with a shuddering breath and followed them as they wheeled Kurt to the ambulance waiting outside.

It had taken them another fifteen minutes to clear the scene before Reade offered to take Jane to the hospital and Tasha headed back to the NYO. Jane was huddled in the front passenger seat of the SVU, staring outside, but not seeing the view. The events of the last few hours kept playing over and over in her head.

She saw Kurt hanging there, completely at the mercy of the blows of their captors. She heard his groans as the knuckle dusters hit his stomach and his long wail as the punches made contact with what must have been an injured area. She remembered the cruel grin one of the men gave her as she struggled against her own bonds, nearly screaming in desperation for them to stop as she saw Kurt getting weaker. "Stop! Please stop hurting him! You'll kill him!" She could feel the tears on her cheeks now, just as she had then as her pleas had gone unanswered and she had had to watch them continue beating Kurt. She heard his weak moans of pain from when he lay cradled against her. She saw the massive bruising on Kurt as they had cut away his clothes, and the blood on his face.

That memory made Jane look at herself. Her gray shirt had a large bloodstain on her chest where Kurt had leaned into her, the blood from his headwound marking her. She looked at her hands, realizing they were bloody too. She let out a strangled sound, something between a sob and a whimper.

"Jane," she heard Reade's reassuring voice, "he's going to be okay. He's already in the hospital. He's in good hands."

A terrible realization dawned Jane. "Oh God, I moved him" She cast a fretful look at Reade, feeling the panic wrap around her. "I moved him, Reade. I moved him when I took him into my arms! The medics put him on a backboard! What if I made Kurt's injuries worse, what if I –."

"Jane," Reade stopped her from continuing by laying his hand on her thigh and giving it a squeeze. " You held his hand while he was on the board, right?"

"Yeah."

"Did you feel or see him move his fingers?"

"Yeah, he…he squeezed my hand right before they took him into the ambulance."

"See, that's a good sign." Reade gave her a comforting smile. "He's in good hands, Jane. We're almost at the hospital."

Jane was sitting by Kurt's bedside, holding his hand in hers as he slept. It had been a few hours since she had seen him last, so to hold his hand again offered her a small measure of comfort. They had just wheeled him into the room not 20 minutes before, and told her that he should start coming to within the hour. She had spoken to the doctor treating him and he had assured her that Kurt did not have any spinal injuries, and he would eventually make a full recovery, although it might take some time.

She looked at him now, still not being able to let got of the worry she felt. He seemed to be resting comfortably, the creases of pain were gone from his forehead. They had cleaned the blood off his face, the cut close to his eyebrow covered in butterfly strips. His cheek was bruised and the doctor had said that Kurt also had a concussion as a result of the punch to the head. Jane let her eyes travel down his body, most of it covered by the thin hospital blanket. He had multiple broken ribs and the beating had bruised his lung, but that should heal on its own. Thankfully, the ribs hadn't punctured his lung. But, that was a small blessing considering the damage that had been done. He had a drain attached, helping to drain the fluid and blood from his abdomen. They had done an exploratory laparotomy on him soon after he got to the hospital to discover the source of the bleeding in his abdomen. It had turned out to be lacerations in his liver and his spleen. The bruising on his back that Jane had seen was caused by a bruised kidney. The doctor was optimistic that with sufficient rest it should heal on its own, but they needed to monitor him closely for a few days.

Jane felt almost overwhelmed by the worry and she could feel exhaustion creeping in. She leaned her forehead into her hand, rubbing her eyes and letting out a deep sigh. Suddenly, she felt Kurt's fingers twitch in her hand. She got up and squeezed his hand, leaning closer to him.

"Kurt…Kurt, can you open your eyes for me," she coaxed softly. "Open your eyes."

After a moment, he tiredly opened them.

"Hey…"Jane's tone was tender, the emotion clear in it.

In a few seconds she saw a flash of fear in Kurt's eyes and noticed he was getting distressed. The doctor had said it was normal after surgery, but still it squeezed her heart painfully.

She ran her hand through his hair soothingly. "Shh. You're in a hospital. It's okay. You just got out of surgery." Soon her voice and touches calmed him and Jane felt him relax into the pillows again.

Jane caressed his arm tenderly for a while, coming to grips with the situation. The need to touch him and to reassure herself won out and she got up, kissing his cheek. She leaned her forehead against his, trying to collect herself but failing. She felt the tears brimming her eyes and heard her own voice quiver, as she looked into his and spoke. "You really scared me this time, Kurt. I thought I lost you."

The look in his eyes was tired but his meaning was sincere as he gave her a tiny smile. "Sorry,"he spoke quietly, his voice rough from the intubation.

Jane sat down again, continuing to caress his forehead and run her hand through his hair, needing to convince herself he was there and he was alive. She gave him another teary smile before gingerly laying her cheek on his chest and closing her eyes. She drew in a rugged breath as she heard his heartbeat, willing herself to keep the tears at bay "He's still here."

Soon, she felt Kurt's fingers slowly trace the nape of her neck: it was his way of calming her. Still, even when groggy from surgery he could read her and sense her unease. He didn't say anything, using his touch instead. Jane relaxed against him as his hand tangled in her hair, maintaining the contact.

They lay there, both quiet and content to let time pass. It was sometime later that Jane raised her head and spoke in a tender tone.

"What do you say about taking a few days off after this? God knows you've earned it…. You could teach me how to fish."

He gave her a tired, lopsided smile. "Yeah, we can do that. Any idea where you'd want to go?"

"I'll leave that up to you. Do you think we could ask Allie if we can take Bethany with us? I'd love for it to be just the three of us, Kurt."

Kurt's eyes were already closed when he mumbled his reply. "Whatever you want, Jane."