This is Sfär 1877. Here, the Germanic nations are a superpower.
Act I, Scene I
This is a cathedral in Munich. Outside, its high walls and gargoyles are heavily weathered by the night's storms and heavy rains. Every now and then, lightning flashes.
Up above, granite sculptures surround the vaults. They're of archangels and saints. They're much smaller than they should be. As cowardly as it still seems after all this time, not a single sculpture is of Jehovah.
From below, a Clydesdale approaches. Or rather, she sounds like one. But of course, she's wearing heels. And this cathedral's got vaults, and not to mention heights, that could cause a heartbreak or a teardrop to echo.
In heels, the accompanist surfaces. She's blonde. She's got her hair tied in a ponytail, and wears glasses. She moves as if though resolute in her purpose...although her mind suggests confusion.
Now, she takes her seat at the organ. It's much bigger than her. On either side of her, dim lamps illuminate, shedding enough light for her to see the keys.
Here, she performs the German opera's intro...by testing the organ's pipes, to make sure if they still work. She starts with the highest notes, and takes it on down to the low ones...playing multiple ones as she goes. It almost sounds like an orchestra, right before its first performance.
Soon, she's hit all of the keys. They work. Their pipes do, too.
From below, four men in robes chant, as they ascend into the cathedral's main room. For much of the way, pillars surround them. They sing polyphonically...in a TTBB format. The vaults and many empty spaces amplify their music.
At last, they all stand in the center of the wide floor. They undo their robes' hoods...revealing the faces of four German variants of Kazakh Doom. Seems almost insulting, that two of them are tenors.
One of them is from Uri, in Switzerland. Another is from Vorarlberg, in Austria. Another is from Liechtenstein. And the fourth is from Saarland, in Germany. They were all born and raised Catholic...to varying degrees of consent. And they're all either monks, or have been monks before. The higher of the two tenors used to be a friar. Alas, his career did not last long.
They stand in a rank, and tune their voices. When they're ready, one of them gestures to the accompanist. She nods, and accompanies them.
Polyphonically, they chant...and deliver this German opera's chorus.
Welcome to the German States
Our evolution never ceases
One day, we're a Great Power among worlds
And the next, we're nobody
Power has been known to inspire us;
Sometimes a bit too much
We love it so much, we keep it secret
And that's when all Hel breaks loose!
It happens all the time
In the world of a man they call Sherlock
Greatest of all detectives, we say
And yet, with sanity so rare
For him, it happens all the time
The rest of us, not so much
O how so often, his landlady plots to evict him
How much more serene, her life would be...
This story begins with a master of analyses
He worries over minutiae all day
Little good it ever does him, but he's resolute to stay awake
Meanwhile, our German homefolk lose sleep...
Lost in the Icelandic wild,
A blonde chick goes spelunking
She sees so many runes on a wall
She knows not what they mean
These runes are in transition
Physicality often is
Someone or something with peak physicality now approaches the runes
For reasons they'd better not...
Here, the four monks pause...but not before over-harmonizing the final chord. Now, they wait for a change in accompaniment...
Here, the accompanist stands, and switches to a synthesizer. It's a Bach; no surprise. She sits, switches a few controls on it, and starts performing the theme music, "Axel F," for the movie Beverly Hills Cop.
After the opening "verse" of the song, the four monks ditch their robes, and become dancing acrobats. They all wear black suits that bear white bone-like motifs.
As the music plays, the dance around the big cathedral floor. They ascend the pillars in a spiral-like motion. Up in the vaults, they swing from ropes, and do incredible acrobatics. They land groin-first atop some of the sculptures, and do gymnastics all over them.
They stand in a file atop a buttress, maintain incredible balance, and dance while up here. One wrong move, and they could fall far enough down to break themselves...but they don't.
The music stops. They come back down. The accompanist switches back to the organ. The opening chorus resumes.
O Master of Runes
O Master of Analyses
Your wrath you could spare us,
Your inhumanity you could, too...
There are already too many icy blondes in Hitchcock's works
And too many final girls in horror movies
If there's one thing German opera doesn't need...
Here, they pause...
It is, after all, a HAPPY ending!
The accompanist pauses...and starts performing the opening notes to the song "Drift Away." Or rather, she opens for a more relevant song that mimics the song's tune...
Case after case, I'm more confused
Yet still, I seek out the solving clue through the myriad
You know that's Hel, for a normal Mann to go through
It makes them feel like a cad
But does that make me so bad?
O, give me the clues, boys
And dampen my soul
I wanna get lost in your Sherlock Holmes
And sleuth away...
Give me those clues, boys,
And let me fill my role
I'm gonna give pride to that Sherlock Holmes
And sleuth away...
And the organ plays on... And somewhere else in the Reich, the latest mystery of the great Sherlock Holmes has become a seed for sowing. And now, it's just about ready to be reapt.