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Leah
She first heard it from Jacob.
His pain spread inexorably through the bond they shared as a pack and Leah got an idea of what her brothers must been through felt when the thing with Sam and Emily began.
Seth whimpered pitifully at her side and the others also tried everything to calm Jacob down. He ran north and it took Sam's alpha voice for them to transform back and leave Jacob alone with his pain.
Bella was getting married.
Which wasn't really that surprising to Leah, biut it broke Jacob's heart. Only Carlisle's face lit up happily when he opened the envelope and read through the fancy handwritten invitation.
Leah knew that the head of the family had sporadic contact with his "children", it didn't bother her. At least not that much. But the noble writing that showed her name next to his, caused a panic in her. Seth was invited as well, as was Billy. In contrast to his sister, Seth was pleased with his well-known frankness, but the invitation brought completely different worries for Leah.
It was the first official festivity in which Carlisle was not supposed to show up with his wife or now ex-wife, but with her. He also told her that another vampire clan, the Denaliclan, had been invited, he immediately assured Sam that they were like his clan and that they weren't hunting people, it didn't really calm Sam but after Carlisle's explanation about Ephraim Black at the campfire, the young leader pulled himself together and assured him that nothing would happen to the relatives. As long as they followed the rules.
Along with Carlisle's anticipation and Seth's confidence, it was difficult to be overly worried and Leah felt reassured.
At least until Carlisle came home with a serious ook on his face. He avoided her gaze and immediately a thousand thoughts shot through Leah's head, one worse than the other and when he finally asked her hesitantly if it would be okay for her to sit with Esme at the ceremony, she was both reliefed and frustrated.
His eyes were dejected and she could hear in his voice that he had already had more than enough discussions about that topic.
Finally, if it was a problem for her, he reassured her that he would stay away from the wedding altogether. Leah knew he was serious and her frustration was at least eased a little. But what choice did she have, he had given up everything for her and now she should keep him away from his first son's wedding just because her pride stood in her way.
Old Leah would probably have simply said no and pouted, stubborn as she was, but she couldn't bring herself to do that to Carlisle.
There were more important things than her pride, and the very fact that she thought that terrified her. She nodded and assured him that it wouldn't bother her. She would have Seth by her side anyway. It was important to Carlisle and so she would get through the evening.
Carlisle spent more and more time with the rest of the Cullens helping with the preparations. Leah tried as best she could not let fear get the better of her and Seth distracted her as best he could. Even if he trusted Carlisle, she could sense that he too was worried.
The day was getting closer and finally Leah stood perplexed in front of her closet. It was hard to find something that fit her and that was feminine enough to hide her muscles. In her old clothes she looked like she was on steroids and Sue finally persuaded her to buy a dress with her in Port Angeles.
After three shops Leah's nerves were no longer really there and when she was dragged by her mother into an expensive shop, she went on strike. After all, Sue Clearwater knew her daughter well enough to persuade her, and when they found the perfect dress, Leah was relieved too. At least until she saw the price tag.
"Don't think about it."
"How should I not think about it? It costs more than all I own !? "
Sue rolled her eyes.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."
Immediately Leahs pride got activated and she shook her head vehemently. Even if their father's insurance had made sure that they didn't have to worry about money, a completely overpriced piece of clothing was too much.
Finally Sue hissed in exasperation.
"Carlisle insisted on paying for it. And he said more than once that price didn't matter at all. So please. Please just buy it. "
Leah's eyes narrowed and Sue regretted saying something about the vampire. She could see Leah inwardly reluctant to accept the gift and so immediately followed up.
"Leah. You can make him happy and accept it, or you can go to the wedding in shorts and a shirt and deal with his relatives looking like that. I don't care! "
Leah considered her options, thinking that Seth had also gotten a suit from Carlisle after his had simply ripped apart the last one. Reluctantly, she tore the dress from her mother's hands and trotted to the cash register.
When she got home and was innocently asked by Carlisle if she'd found anything, she tossed the wrapped dress in his face and shook her head. The blonde vampire laughed and Leah was so susceptible to the musical noise that she immediately forgot her displeasure. It was hard to worry in his presence. At least until the wedding.
Carlisle disappeared early in the morning and left her with a gentle kiss on her forehead. Even in her sleep she sighed with relish and moved in his direction.
Her nervousness increased with each passing hour and Seth also struggled with his tie. In the end, he gave up and tucked it into his jacket. He convinced Leah that she looked beautiful in her dress and Leahs gave him a playful nudge. Sue Clearwater had already finished up but was still fumbling her daughters hair and dress. She would meet Charlie there.
Although Leah had prepared mentally for the day, the sight of Carlisle next to Esme broke her heart.
Despite her unnatural appearance, Esme was one of the most beautiful women Leah had ever seen. Her dress emphasized her pale skin tone and her hazel hair looked like liquid silk.
Carlisle next to her looked like a model in his suit and conscientiously greeted every guest who gradually arrived.
Leah got in line and couldn't take her eyes off the couple. I felt her like a foreign body, a subject that disturbed the overall picture. And she had to admit, that she was exactly that.
Carlisle and Esme looked so natural with each other, their gestures were coordinated and even their features complemented each other. They looked like the perfect couple.
How could she ever keep up with that?
Seth nudged her carefully from the side and pulled Leah out of her trance. Finally Carlisle's eyes widened and he stared at Leah with a look that instantly eased her fears.
When he said nothing, Esme gave him an amused look and turned to Seth and Leah. She greeted Seth warmly and her gaze didn't lose any of its friendliness when she looked at Leah.
"It's so nice to see you Leah."
Her voice was clear and velvety, there was nothing malicious in it and Leah believed her immediately. Finally Esme gave Carlisle a nudge with her elbow and Carlisle started.
"You look beautiful."
His voice sounded unusually distorted and Leah noticed that he was obviously nervous. Before she could say anything, Seth interfered.
"Thanks, but I couldn't quite get the tie."
Esme laughed out loud and Leah thought it sounded like music.
After one last look, Seth pushed Billy on and Leah followed her brother. She stared at the house and garden in disbelief.
One thing you had to give the bloodsuckers, they knew how to decorate.
Massive tree trunks, adorned with moss and pearls, demarcated the area, white rain rain was attached to the tree branches and fairy lights illuminated the whole thing with a golden glow. The ceremony began and Leah stayed in the background with Seth and Billy. Somewhere in the front row she could see her mother, who was sitting next to Charlie and Rene.
Her gaze immediately flickered to the blond man who was standing at the front next to the groom.
He looked even more beautiful under the light and Leah felt her heart beat faster when his gaze found hers. The corners of his mouth twitched imperceptibly and she couldn't fight her own slight smile.
Leah didn't care much about weddings, even when she was still engaged to Sam it was more of a formality than an expression of great romance. After the Emily thing, she'd given up the idea of ever getting married and it didn't really bother her. Still, she had to admit that the wedding itself warmed her pragmatic heart.
She tried not to stare at the blond back of the head in the front row, but when he leaned slightly towards Esme and whispered something in her ear, which made her giggle, she could barely tear her gaze away. The heat spread through her stomach and she suppressed a growl as best she could. Her wolf was definitely not thrilled, even if her claim to Carlisle was actually nonexistent and he was sitting next to his wife. At least in the eyes of most guests.
So far she had coped well, but she had a feeling that it wouldn't be long before her walls would crumble.
Of course, she understood that Carlisle was busy greeting his guests and friends.
She could hardly complain either, since Charlie, who wanted to get as far away from Rene as possible, and Billy, who mischievously congratulated Charlie on his new son-in-law, provided enough entertainment.
It ended with Charlie threatening to push Billy into the champagne glass tower and receiving a heavy blow on the arm from Sue. It was when Seth looked up concerned, and she followed his gaze and stared into three pairs of piercing yellow eyes when she thought that maybe she shouldn't have come after all.
She heard the unnatural voice which hissed angrily and wanted to know what Seth and she were doing here. She didn't even try to contain the disgust from her words. The women and the man looked even more unnatural than the Cullens and they reeked heavily.
Edward lowered is voice and explained to the women that she and Seth were friends and that he had invited them. The mood turned slightly when one of the women spoke about the vampire who had tried to kill Bella at the time.
Apparently it was the mate of one of them and had allegedly promised to change his diet.
Which worked very well.
Leah felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end and the heat inside her again. She remembered the dark skinned Vampire and his blood red eyes. There was no doubt that he would have killed Bella und and sucked her dry if they didn't intervene. She felt no remorse at that kill, no remorse at all.
She immediately averted her gaze and tried to calm down. On the one hand the last thing she wanted was to crash the wedding and on the other hand her dress was way too expensive to just destroy it with a heated transformation. Seth hid his discomfort better and, unimpressed, went back to Charlie and Billy's bickering.
Even if she barely saw Carlisle, she was doing better than expected.
At least until she heard Carlisle refer to her and Seth as friends of the family.
She didn't know who he was talking to and it didn't matter.
It hurted.
It hurted terribly.
It literally broke her heart.
The fact that he was standing next to Esme made it worse.
She couldn't prevent a familiar feeling from creeping up. She felt like she did with Sam and Emily.
Only worse.
She decided to put an end to the whole thing and turned to Seth.
She had to get out of here. Why should she torture herself all night? She showed up and got her heart broken- again. That had to suffice.
Seth, however, stared worriedly into the forest and Leah smelled it immediately.
Jacob was here.
Seth gave her a quick look and immediately they headed towards the secluded area. Sam and Jared were also here in wolf form, apparently nobody really trusted Jacob's self-control.
Which turned out to be a wise foresight, because the mood turned faster than expected and when she heard Edward growl, she caught the heat.
Her pain was briefly forgotten and she felt how Seth also changed. Jacob ran into the forest as fast as his paws could carry him and the pack followed . The pain that ran through him covered hers and Leah was almost glad to be able to think of something other than Carlisle for a few seconds.
A heartbreaking howl ripped through the night and Leah's heart contracted from the raw pain that lay within. With Seth by her side, she trotted home and noticed the sky getting brighter.
Apparently the sun would rise soon. The house was empty and Leah was happy about it for the first time. Of course, Seth caught up on what was going on and tried to comfort her as much as possible. Leah was grateful to her brother but nevertheless she interrupted him and bit him goodnight.
She headed for the beach and first had to convince Seth that he could very well leave her alone and that she wanted- and needed time for herself.
Finally she bit his fur and he let go of her. As expected, the beach was deserted and the first tentative rays of the sun were already showing. The air was cool and salty, not that Leah would mind.
Being a wolf had its advantages.
She raised her snout to the wind and took a deep breath.
The sea had something calming about it, the steady rustling, the scent, the wind - everything worked like clockwork. It was pleasantly quiet, at least until another mind appeared in her head. Jacob had turned back again and Leah was tempted to leave him alone. She felt his frustration, the unrequited love and the stinging feeling of not being enough and recognized herself too well in it.
"Couldn't it be about the Leah Show for once?"
Jacob's voice sounded bitter and Leah couldn't blame him.
"I'm sorry Jake."
Her sincerity seemed to surprise him, and she felt his anger slowly subside.
"Im doing to leave."
He said it like he was going to buy a car and Leah gasped.
"Even if you could do it, do you really think it will get better?"
"Anything is better than that."
His voice was too bitter for his character and Leah thought of the feeling when she saw Carlilse with Esme. She thought about how he had introduced her as a friend of the family and she had suddenly lost herself in her self-doubt.
Jacob whined.
"Okay. Maybe not everything. But at least you got rid of Sam. "
"Different name, same problem."
Her cynicism made him laugh and she was no less surprised when he appeared at the edge of the forest and trotted over to her. His red-brown fur shone in the rays of the sun and she growled at him friendly.
For a few seconds they both stared at the open sea.
"We could run away."
His voice was serious and Leah laughed out loud.
"Run away? Us?"
He cocked his head and looked at her sideways.
"I like older women."
"And you see what it has brought you."
Leah pressed her head to his side and enjoyed the warmth of his fur for a moment.
"I'm afraid I am condemned to this joyless life."
Though it was tempting to leave it all behind, Leah knew that she wouldn't get very far. She wished from the bottom of her heart that her dependence on Carlisle was at least a little manageable. Or at least not one-sided.
Jacob let out a whine.
"Then tell me how it went. I'm leaving."
She stared sadly at him with her blue eyes. She couldn't blame him and briefly thought about making him stay. Finally she promised to keep an eye on Billy and wished him luck. If anyone could understand being the unloved third wheel, it was her.
"In case you change your mind - you know how to find me." He playfully pinched her side and she bared her teeth.
"Get out of here you idiot before I throw you into the sea."
She watched him disappear into the forest.
The truth was, Jacob's suggestion didn't sound as irrational to her as she'd first thought. She felt like a strange subject, a disruptive factor in Calisle's life. Last night hadn't made it any better.
Leah thought about how perfect and harmonious Esme and Carlisle looked. How satisfied they seemed in the presence of the other, like a well-rehearsed team. And she didn't just mean how they looked. It was the way they talked to people, the way they looked at each other and grinned at an inside joke. She, on the other hand, did not suit him at all.
Esme appeared gentle, kind, and nice. She had a winning smile and Leah found it very difficult not to like her. Leah, on the other hand, was stubborn and harsh. She expressed her opinion openly and rarely showed any consideration for those who heard it. She didn't blame Carlisle for behaving the way he did. After all he was the grooms father. It seemed more as if Carlisle could be his true self at the wedding, which in turn meant that he wasn't himself with her. And worst of all, even if he would address it- Carlisle was way too nice to ever admit it.
Carlisle
The moment the words left his mouth, he regretted them. They left a bad taste and he prayed to all gods who wanted to hear that she hadn't heard him. The drama with Jacob came as little surprise but he hadn't expected that he wouldn't actually find the time to at least talk to Leah.
She controlled his thoughts and in the dress she was wearing, it took more than his normal self-control not to just drag her onto the dance floor and touch and smell her.
Esme's beam made up for it and he was glad to be able to give her at least one day of pretendes happiness.
It didn't surprise him that she only had positive things to say about the Shewolf, and even when Emmett remarked that Carlisle stank just as badly as his wolf pack, her mouth pulled into a big grin.
"You look happy, Carlisle."
Immediately his face grimaced. The sense of guilt caught up with him and she slapped him lightly on the arm.
"I'm happy for both of you, and now stop making such a face."
Her voice was reproachful and he realized how much he had missed her.
Not at his side, but in his life.
The distance he had kept, at least for the time being, had healed the wounds and Carlisle hoped that in the future they might find a way to be civil again or maybe even friends.
He glanced over her shoulder and scanned the crowd for Leah.
He was briefly worried when he couldn't find her, but since Seth wasn't to be found either, he assumed that the siblings would be hanging around somewhere. His gaze stopped at Alice, who looked at him sharply.
Before he could react, she covered her nose and Jasper grinned broadly at him next to her.
Esme was right. He was happy. His son married the love of his life, Esme looked confident and the rest of the family seemed to have gotten used to the change.
There was only one thing missing to complete his luck.
Leah.
