Carlisle

As much experience as he had with dealing with his thoughts in Edward's presence, it was so easy for them to slip away. He tried to pull himself together and diverted his thoughts to other things again and again, but only a small incentive was enough and he thought of Leah.

About the forest.

And the tree.

An exhausted groan echoed through the room and Edward gave the blonde vampire an exasperated look.

Carlisle muttered an apology and continued examining the pregnant family member.

Bella's body was weakening every day, what her body lost in mass, her stomach increased and quickly she presented an almost funny picture. The same people were always buzzing around her, Rosalie, who kept her eyes on the girl, and Edward, who could hardly bear the sight, but even less the distance to her.

Jacob was always near her too, and Carlisle admired the young wolf for it. It couldn't be overlooked that he wasn't feeling well and feeling something for Bella that he probably shouldn't or even didn't want to feel. And yet he stayed by her side, even if Rosalie always expressed her displeasure with his presence.

Edward, on the other hand, seemed surprisingly happy about the presence of the wolf, apparently hoping to find an ally in him.

Leah and Seth roamed the grounds from time to time, spending time in the house or anywhere else, whereby Leah was always very careful not to spend too much time with Bella. While Seth had no problem with the presence of the vampires and Bella, Leah could hardly hide her feelings.

He didn't know if it was the sheer dislike of his species - a thought that hurt him more than he wanted to admit - or the guilty conscience towards Esme. The latter was not alien to him himself. He also tried to keep his interaction with Leah as low as possible in the house, but that didn't mean that his gaze didn't followed her automatically and his thoughts did what they wanted.

When Leah got in the house and wasn't in the kitchen, she was mostly in his office. Carlisle once asked her why that was and she replied without really thinking about it that not only did it smell like him, but it reminded her of him. It calmed her down.

Carlisle was sure that his eyes were sprayed with happiness and affection and was immediately glad that she had turned her back on him. Not just because of the sight that was presented to him.

Another groan went through the room and caught the attention of Jacob and Rosalie. Edward closed his eyes and Carlisle knew that he was just trying with all his might to erase the image Carlisle had created in the younger ones mind.

Even if he was used to Edward's gift, he found it uncomfortable. He knew what it was like to live with Rosalie and Emmett, and even if he couldn't hear their thoughts, he could hear other things. Things that were not really less scaring.

Things he just didn't want to hear and since then he hasn't envied Edward for a second for his ability.

He quickly completed the exam and gave Bella an encouraging smile. He didn't need to look at Edward and tried to keep his thoughts as positive as possible. Bella's chances of surviving the birth were slim, Carlisle was too much of a doctor to be able to gloss over it or, in this case, to imagine it. He saw Edward's eyes narrow and felt a wave of compassion. He wished for nothing more than happiness for his first son, and apparently it was precisely this that was to be denied him.

His eyes flickered to Esme and he knew that she knew him well enough to read everything she needed to know in his face. Carlisle's heart twisted at the sad eyes that looked at him pityingly.

He knew how much she loved Edward, how much she wanted the best for him.

In a way, he was her son she was never allowed to have. And now everything seemed to be falling apart and Carlisle couldn't even be there for her.

At least not like it used to be.

He wished nothing more than that Esme would find her mate. An anchor that took away her pain and brought happiness into her life. Like Leah for him. Just the thought of the she-wolf made him tingle and took the pressure off his shoulders.

At the thought he heard the strong heartbeat that he could immediately identify and was promptly reminded why he was no longer at Esme's side.

It was the same reason Leah was no longer part of Sam's pack.

Their imprint had affected both lives more than he could ever have imagined and it pained him that he was the wedge that separated Leah from her people. He knew about Leah and Sam's past and the difficulties that it brought with it. Still, he couldn't help but feel guilty. For Leah, for Esme and also for Seth. The young wolf would not have left the pack so willingly if Leah had not been imprinted on him. Now he was forced to stand up against his own family.

Against friends he had had since childhood.

He let out a breath, hoping the unused cool air would carry his worry with it, but he was disappointed. It was hard to shake off the darkness at times like these.

He nodded encouragingly to Esme as best he could and went outside. It was a sunny day and in view of the guests no one bothered to hide from the telltale sun. The rays of the sun, which had creeped through the dense branches, gave him gentle warmth and when he saw the outline of Leah, he felt a familiar tug in his stomach area - a feeling that shouldn't be there.

Her face lit up as soon as she saw him and Carlisle almost felt his dead heart beating again. Leah managed effortlessly to lure various reactions out of Carlisle that he would never have thought to feel again.

Dark circles appeared under her eyes and Carlisle felt guilty.

It was his family's fault that they overworked and barely slept. She patrolled and accompanied them on the hunt, just to make sure Sam hadn't changed his mind after all.

His name alone was enough to form a rumble in Carlisle's throat, which he swallowed with difficulty.

Although the contract was still valid in Carlisle's eyes, he couldn't guarantee anything if they attacked his family, or worse, Leah.

The thought stiffened his body and Leah looked at him questioningly. Her brown eyes glowed with a feeling that Carlisle would only be too happy to interpret as love and he let out the tension as she pressed her forehead to one cheek. As always, the contact caused a wonderful warmth that slowly spread through his body and he closed his eyes with relish.

He knew that her position was hardly protected from prying eyes and she should also have the same thought, because her touch ended as abruptly as she had started. The loss of her warmth brought disappointment and Carlisle felt his body automatically follow her movement.

"Are you tired?"

Leah shook her head, but her body betrayed her and Carlisle, thanks to his senses, didn't escape the yawn that kept her suppressed.

He looked mischievously at her.

Leah and her pride.

Carlisle led her into the house and noticed only incidentally how Seth was snoring loudly on the couch.

Emmett and Jasper flanked him, watching him with a kind of admiration that Carlisle had rarely seen on their faces.

Not needing to sleep was practical but with losing the ability to sleep you lost the ability to dream.

One thing he knew he and his family were missing. The colorful scenes, arbitrary, strange, familiar. The subconscious that painted pictures that the mind couldn't even make up.

They found themselves in the office and Leah didn't even protest when he led her to the bed that he had made especially for her. It was a lot bigger than what was in their room at home, but they never took up all the space.

In general it was hardly used, Carlisle wanted to spare his family from listening to these things from their "father".

Not that he didn't want to.

Above all, he wanted to make amends in the forest.

Leah deserved more than the quick and short fling. She deserved to be admired and valued, pampered and loved. Much more than he had given her then. He could only sincerely hope that she would not interpret his hasty actions as a lack of feelings for her.

Because he thought of nothing else since then - not of THAT, at least not only, but rather what was hidden behind it.

Carlisle was too old and level-headed to just throw himself headlong into something. His scientific mind tended to analyze and evaluate everything, assess risks and make wise decisions.

Up until now that had actually always worked, everything he did sooner or later had to do with long and well thought-out considerations. He weighed his options, the dangers and risks, and then made a decision.

Until now.

Leah was all united.

She was a risk, not analyzable, inscrutable and not assessable. She was everything that would normally scare and panic Carlisle. And yet he longed for it.

He longed for the uncertainty, he loved not knowing what would come out of her mouth next. He wanted to be surprised, he wanted to feel the risk. Leah overturned his whole lifestyle and didn't even notice.

He got a glass of water and put it next to the bed. Leah's eyes followed him and he felt her gaze as if it were a gentle touch.

As soon as he lay down, she put her head on his shoulder and pressed her body to his side. He felt her forehead under his chin and heard the deep breath she took.

Carlisle was speechless.

The warmth and happiness that flooded him took away the tension, worry and pressure that had been on him recently. He should feel guilty about feeling such feelings in the face of such a situation, but he couldn't help but just drown in Leah's presence.

He almost thought Leah had already fallen asleep. Her deep breaths were even, only her heart gave her away. It hit uncharacteristically fast and Carlisle waited.

"This is probably not a good time. But I'm glad that happened."

Her voice was soft and cautious, but Carlisle had no problem understanding her. His heart swelled and he swallowed.

".. well not the whole monster baby stuff."

Carlisle's throat itched and he laughed for the first time in days. Tact was certainly not one of the Quileutes' strengths.

She gave him a sly look and he hugged her tightly. He took a deep breath of her scent and closed his eyes. Finally he pressed his nose into her hair and kissed her gently.

"Me too."

The happiness did not last long.

Bella had survived the birth and even the transformation - but they were faced with a far greater danger.

A danger that this time did not come from Sam and his pack, but from the growth of an innocent child.