Leah

Helplessness was probably the right expression for what Leah felt inside.

She saw the pain in Carlisle's eyes, the worry that plagued him and the powerlessness that numbed him. Every day, every hour, almost every second. And there was nothing she could do about it.

It was strange how one disaster followed another.

She watched him brood over his notes and run through his blond locks countless times. A habit that she had observed more and more often in the past few months.

Bella was a newborn, but Leah, Jacob, and Seth smelled so offensive to her that they didn't really have to worry. In addition, Jacob - of all people in the world - had imprinted on Bella's child. Nessie, as he affectionately called her. It wasn't up to her to judge so she didn't. Her focus was on the blonde vampire in front of her.

It didn't take a genius to realize that he was blaming himself for the whole misery. After all, he was the oldest, the one with the most experience. He was a doctor. Yet he had never come across a case like this.

Leah watched him for a few more seconds and heard Jacob playing with Nessie in the lower part of the house. Since the imprint, Jacob's mind had become a different place, and Leah wondered if it was the same with her.

Did Carlisle bring her the long-awaited peace too?

Finally she heard the door slam shut. The others were hunting, Seth was with her mother and Jacob had obviously given in to Nessie's insistence and they had gone to the river. The little one had already wrapped him around her finger, that much was certain.

"Do I stink?"

Carlisle froze. Confused, his eyes found her gaze and she could see him weighing whether she was kidding or serious.

She met his gaze and continued with her diversion.

He looked at her in silence for a few seconds and cocked his head. A gesture that immediately sparked a wave of affection in her. In one fluid movement he got up and walked towards her.

Leah had to admit that his walk wasn't anything human anymore, but rather something of a predator. He came closer to her smoothly and she saw his eyes darken.

One step in front of her he came to a standstill and Leah dared not move.

He didn't take his eyes off her as he took a deep breath.

This action alone triggered something in Leah that he could certainly smell and she was again glad that they were alone in the house.

Carlisle brought his head to her neck and took another deep breath, Leah felt the cool air he let out and shuddered.

"You smell .. of forest."

Finally he touched her ear with his nose and Leah pressed her fingernails into her palms as he whispered in her ear in a deep and low voice.

"After rain."

Carlisle bent down slightly and ran the tip of his nose over her collarbone. Her breath caught.

"Soil."

He didn't touch her, but he didn't need that to get her to the point where Leah was sure to indulge in her ecstasy here and now. He walked further down and gave her a quick look. It was as if he wanted to ask her if it was okay, but didn't utter a word. Her eyes were already half closed and her mouth open. Her face and whole body felt hot and Leah knew he had surely noticed her excitement.

Carefully he pressed his nose to the place that the rumble released in Leah's throat.

"Just like you."

She noticed how her hands found their way into his hair and he slowly stripped off her pants. She never bothered with underwear, the waste of clothes during the transformations would be too high and when she heard the deep growling from Carlisle's body, her renunciation was once again confirmed.

His fingertips traced her skin, drawing unfamiliar patterns and tracing her muscles. They were cool but Leah could clearly feel the burning underneath it. His gaze followed his movements and it seemed as if he had never seen anything like it.

He took his time, much to her chagrin. Tormentingly slowly he stroked her thighs up and down, as if he were in no hurry, as if he had no intention of letting his hands slide further. Leah's impatience grew, but she pulled herself together. As much as she wished his hands and face would find another medium for his fascination, she enjoyed his deliberate touch. It had nothing in common with the moment in the forest - although she certainly didn't want to miss it.

It was something else anyway.

Leah could feel in every movement how much he valued her, how much he wanted her and what it meant for him to touch her. It was a feeling that she hadn't known before, as new as it was, so much she decided never to forget it again.

Suddenly she felt the desk behind her and wondered when he'd managed to maneuver them there. With an effortless movement he put her on the table and Leah could hardly react when his breath hit her at the most sensitive point. She hissed in a breath and held it tight in her lungs.

His hands were detached from his lips and she felt gentle caresses on her thighs. There were too many to count and with every touch of his delicate lips she felt the knot in her stomach tighten. Again and again he moved towards the middle, but stopped again and continued on the other side. His hands finally found her stomach and when his fingertips haunted the base of her breasts, she took off her shirt in one swift movement.

She could literally feel his satisfied grin, but when she looked at him, all she saw was an admiring look on his face.

"You are breathtaking."

There was still an almost imperceptible, forgotten accent in his voice and Leah shuddered again.

Before she could say anything, she felt the cool breath between her legs and automatically pressed her hip against him. Actually, she didn't want to seem so ingratiating, but she couldn't help it. Her body was already on autopilot and got what it needed.

He kissed her lips gently and Leah sighed loudly. Fortunately, they were alone in the house because she certainly couldn't have held back. His lips kissed every millimeter she had to offer and when she felt his tongue greedily searching for the strongest taste, she heard a deep moan. Leah's eyes were already closed, only there and then she glanced down to stare into his jet-black eyes.

He took his time and tasted her with so much devotion that Leah was sure there was no taste left anymore. It didn't take long and he focused on the one knob that promised her relief. His movements got faster and faster and his hands clutched her hips. She couldn't help but throw her head back. All of the tension that had built up, the pressure he had created, was suddenly paid attention to and Leah couldn't help but swim with the wave. She built herself up more and more and her breath got caught. With one last look and a loud scream, she sighed. Carlisle was hardly deterred and did not even think about changing his position. She felt the twitching in his mouth and hissed as he carefully licked up the traces of his actions.

A smug grin spread across his red lips and Leah couldn't even react to it. Immediately she pulled him close and heard a growl as the bulge in his pants rubbed against her opening. He was still fully clothed while she was naked, but before Leah could do anything about it, she heard cloth tearing. Suddenly his robe was gone and he was staring at her hungrily.

His black eyes stared at her and his eyelids flickered as she pressed closer to him. She felt his fingertips as they brushed the sickle-shaped scar on her neck and briefly closed her eyes. The scar was more sensitive than the thin skin next to it, and even his gentle touch gave her goose bumps. He stopped and when she opened her eyes again, she was startled by the look he gave her.

There was something in his eyes that she couldn't immediately interpret. It was more than lust, more than hunger or admiration. It was something that made her breathless. Suddenly a shyness crept into his expression that she hadn't seen in it for a long time.

"I love you, Leah."

His voice was nothing more than a whisper, but it was enough to throw her completely off track. While it might sound ridiculous, even for two soul mates or whatever they were, that was a milestone. The imprint had many effects and probably more than either of them realized. But it didn't create love. She created devotion, attraction, fascination, addiction and lust. But no love.

Leah didn't even dare to blink.

Up until now she had only said this sentence to one person. Sam. And everyone knew how well that had gone down. But the panic couldn't even rise - this was Carlisle.

But was Carlisle really any different from Sam? After all, he had left her too, moved away from her and left her behind. Leah didn't want to be stuck in the past, she didn't want to mess around with it and she didn't blame him for it. But she couldn't forget it either.

So she did what she always did.

She avoided it.

With full force she pressed her lips to his and pressed his shoulders to her. The pleasure overwhelmed her and she forgot the heartbroken expression on his face only moments before.

Her hands greedily ran over his body and he too clung to her like a drowning person. With every touch she tried more to forget the pale aftertaste and although it worked well for a few moments, the feelings were never completely gone, only repressed.

He penetrated her effortlessly and growled into the crook of her neck. The rhythm that followed was almost too much for both of them and it wasn't long before they desperately clung to each other.

Leah's heart was still racing and her breathing still took a few moments to calm down. He had his face pressed into her neck and she could feel his fine eyelashes tickling her sensitive skin.

She loved him, she had no doubt about that. But still she couldn't get the words out. She was aware of the pain her silence caused, and yet she remained silent.

A shadow still haunted her, it didn't leave her in peace and whispered questions in her ear, the answer of which she didn't even want to think about.

When would he notice that she wasn't the right one? When would he return to Esme, a woman who was so noble, kind, and good. A woman who suited him so much better. He had done it once, why shouldn't he do it again?

When would he leave her again?