Leah
The sense of touch has always been one of her favorite senses. She felt the fine, cool sand of La Push, the rough rock formations, the soft moss that grew on the massive tree trunks and the warm skin of her family. When the heat broke out inside her and she transformed for the first time, all of her senses were sharpened.
Suddenly she could hear things that otherwise remained hidden from her, she saw the tiny little prisms that emerged on the sea when the sun hit the dark water and could smell the salty aroma, even when she was miles away from the sea. The sense of taste also changed. Only the sense of touch remained the same.
Until she met Carlisle.
She always thought she knew a lover's skin, but when her fingers ran down his chest, a whole new feeling took hold of her. His skin was smooth and unyielding, yet delicate and gentle. She could feel the soft hair on his forearm and the firmer hair under his navel.
She loved it when he touched her, there was something unique about it. As if it were a treasure that had to be handled with care. At least at the beginning.
As soon as his self-control crumbled and his touch became more firm and demanding, it triggered another kind of ecstasy. His hands ran gently over her skin, careful to feel and appreciate every millimeter. Always holding back a little, as if he always wanted to give her the opportunity to reject him.
As if she would ever do that. As if she ever could do that.
Then they became more greedy and - more tangible. His touch was cool, but it didn't put out her fire - on the contrary. It was like gasoline. There was something in his touch that amazed her every time.
It was already evening and the sky was only faintly lit by the remnants of the day. It was already autumn and the sun was saying goodbye to the world earlier and earlier.
His delicate face was above her and his dark eyes stared at her with an expression she couldn't name. An irresistible smile had spread on his red lips, one that was reserved only for her - she had already noticed that much. She couldn't help but run her hand over his torso and watched with satisfaction as his eyelids twitched.
His muscles were hard, unyielding, a result of his transformation, and showed under his fair skin. Slowly he leaned down to her and she breathed a sigh of surprise when she felt the middle of his body against hers. Somehow he had sneaked between her legs - not that she would mind. Leah felt his cool breath on her ear and automatically closed her eyes.
He whispered various declarations of love and his voice was so gentle that it was in no way inferior to his touch.
His arm went down her shoulder towards her lower back and she didn't know whether to push up against his body or his hand.
Her body opted for the former and Leah pressed her head into the cushion to feel more of his skin. In less than a second he pressed his lips to her neck and kissed her as light as a feather, more than she could ever count.
His touch was almost too gentle, but at the same time she wanted it more than anything. He hadn't lost control yet, she could tell that much. Only imperceptibly his kisses became a little harder and she could even feel the razor-sharp teeth here and there, carefully scratching her tanned skin.
Leah couldn't get a clear thought and when he whispered her name softly she wondered if it had the same effect on him.
Could he still think clearly?
When her hand ran down the smooth skin on his back, his breath caught and Leah grinned. Apparently it had at least as much effect on him as he had on her.
Carlisle had noticed her grin and suddenly tightened his grip. His eyes were coal black and she could see the crumbling self-control in them. Impatiently she grabbed him by his hips and pulled him against her, immediately he sighed and buried his face in her throat again. This time he took a few deep breaths and Leah knew that he was fighting for the last bit of self-control he could muster.
She could feel every curve, every corner of his body and knew that he could feel everything about her too, and probably more. His hand went into her hair and he carefully pulled her face to his. The kiss that followed literally stole her breath and although she was already feeling the oxygen deprivation, she couldn't let go.
His hands wandered down her body and when they stopped at her hips, she knew that the considerate gentleman was already gone. His fingertips were greedy and demanding, as if he would be tormented if he didn't touch her. His breaths became more and more restless, although he didn't really need them. While his hands were still exploring her body for the hundredth time, it was like the first time. As if he was discovering something new, something he hadn't noticed before. His enthusiasm was not diminished, not in the least.
"I love you."
His statement came between two strained breaths and carried a deep tone that Leah clearly identified as lust.
He wanted her.
He wanted to feel her.
Just as she wanted to be touched by him.
There was no other, no comparison to it.
Even if she could have returned his words, her mouth was desperately busy transporting oxygen to her lungs.
He was the only one in this world who could trigger these feelings, no other touch, had done something similar in her. She didn't want to downplay Sam, she didn't want to offend him and declare their time together as worthless, but she couldn't compare them.
She couldn't compare anything to this.
Carlisle touches were pure and natural, greedy and gentle, hot and cold. She didn't know if he'd ever touched someone else with the same devotion and just at that moment, when the fingers found their most sensitive point, she didn't care either.
The sense of touch was really her favorite.
It was the best sense. She could feel him.
On her.
In her.
Beside her - the feeling never let up. She had heard and seen his love, he had said it often enough.
It almost seemed to her that the absence of hers made his expressions of love even greater. But in those moments she could feel his love. In every touch.
It wasn't like she didn't know about his feelings. As if she were dismissing it as fleeting confusion or not taking it seriously.
But neither could she claim that she let the current happiness lull her into safety. He had left her once, he could do it again.
It was nothing more. That one conclusion was enough to hold them back.
It was absurd, as if she wasn't already in too deep, as if she could just turn around and go on with her life without him.
The feeling of what she had when he was near her, touching her or looking at her, compensated for the dissatisfaction of the situation and magically, that was enough for her. As much as she felt his love when they were alone, just as much did she feel his reluctance to be around the other.
Was that really what she wanted?
A life full of guilty conscience towards someone you didn't even know before? Constantly feeling like you're doing something wrong?
She was addicted and he unwittingly placed a debt on her that was neither hers nor his.
In addition, she could hardly address it. Not because she was afraid of the confrontation, everyone who knew Leah knew that she never shrank from an argument, it was more the fear of how he would react.
What if this was all he could give her.
Was that enough?
And what if it wasn't enough.
Leah's mind seldom found another destination and it drained her. But even if it plagued her mentally, it hadn't dampened the shock that she immediately experienced.
After they were both satisfied for the time being, more than satisfied, at least in one respect, he pressed his hard form against her back and wrapped his pale arms around her upper body. It was borderline too painful but firm enough that he had to move with each of her breaths.
Leah closed her eyes with relish and took a deep breath. She felt his body move with it and felt his fingertips casually brushing her upper arm. Again the wolf woke up in her and made it clear that she was far from finished. Just as she wanted to press her hip into his and thus underpin her plan, he took a deep breath.
"I bought a house."
Before she could answer, she heard the family arrive in the basement. Immediately she closed her mouth again, it wasn't a conversation she wanted to have with the whole clan listening- especially when he said that he had bought another house in a different place for all of them.
Which would mean leaving the reservation behind.
It was a logical conclusion, after all, they were all acting as normal people who should be aging. Especially he in the hospital would soon be attracting attention if he looked 10 years younger from the start. But it wasn't her thoughts that silenced her. It was the clink of a vase and the sudden change of mood.
A low voice was heard, unmistakably from Alice. The fear Leah heard in it made her heart race, it clearly meant danger.
For her, for her pack, for the family and above all for Carlisle.
The words did not fail to have their effect, because when Alice whispered "The Volturi are coming." There was suddenly silence.