Leah

The number of vampires who answered Carlisle's call for help was remarkable. Horrible, terrifying and disgusting were the figures who, in Leah's eyes, had nothing in common with her Carlisle. Their eyes glowed unnaturally red - except for the blonde Alaskan cousins - and they looked feral. Often as a couple or alone they appeared and thank God they stayed to themselves. She watched them suspiciously and more than once caught the apparently amused look of her .. mate.

Although Carlisle always introduced her as his companion and hat caused more than a puzzled look, he didn't show anything. This inconspicuous gesture, or rather the lack of it, brought with it a security that Leah had clearly underestimated. That and the house.

Even if she couldn't feel and hear Carlisle's feelings, there was no denying his pride. At first he wanted to cover her eyes, but after Leah made a rather dirty comment on the subject and Seth said goodbye with a choking sound, he left it at that and commented on her utterance with an eye roll. As if he hadn't enjoyed it when she blindfolded him.

The house was close to the Quileutes area and yet far enough away to provide enough privacy.

Even if Leah hated clichés, she couldn't deny that she had thought about her future. More precisely, about her future with Sam. They had been together since she was almost 15, they were each others first big love, of course they had plans. Of course they talked about having a family one day and of course, just as Sam was, he promised to build her dream house for her. How much she had wanted it.

She changed her mind so often that at some point Sam waved it off and only said - when the time came, she should just say what she wanted and he would build it. With the full knowledge that she would probably change her mind a hundred times - if only to drive him crazy. And so an idea formed in her head. A plan. Her plan. But, like her life, her house should have nothing in common with anything laid out in her head. And as with her life, it didn't bother her in the least.

It wasn't Leah, but it was Carlisle with a trace of Leah and that was enough for her. In addition, it could have been the shabbiest barrack in the world, given Carlisle's nervous and anticipatory expression, she couldn't help but love it. She gave him a smile and was rewarded with a beam that rivaled the sun.

That alone was worth it. The interior was elegant and antiqe at the same time, there was nothing that didn't go well with it and yet there was a perfect chaos. Cullen style, Leah thought.

"I chose the colors."

Carlisle's pride was palpable and she couldn't help but snuggle up to him, which he commented with another beaming smile.

"And the rest?"

His gaze became illegible for a second and Leah wished for a moment that she could feel his feelings in her human form.

"I got some help. Or rather, help was ... forced upon me."

His apologetic smile made another question unnecessary. She knew who the architect in the family was and, oddly enough, it really surprised her, she didn't mind. She nodded and read her gaze again across the room. Now many details were even more logical, but she was still amazed at how well Esme had met her taste and how much effort she had made. Another point where she could never hold a candle to her. She would never have furnished Emily and Sam's house in her life. She would rather have doused herself with gasoline and set it on fire .. and so would the house.

"What do you think?"

Her silence was illegible to him and she had to smile when she saw his concentrated gaze. She knew he was trying to figure her out. Since they shared this wolf connection, at least in the beginning, he was more than behind expanding it. Leah could understand why, but she didn't quite share his enthusiasm.

Leah was sure that Carlisle hadn't had a single vicious thought in nearly 400 years.

She on the other hand, at 20 years of age, she had more than enough nasty thoughts on her mind.

Even if she pulled herself together, at least in his presence, and didn't immediately say everything she thought, that didn't affect her thoughts. She was all the more relieved when they discovered that this gift only applied to the wolf figure. But maybe it was precisely why it didn't work otherwise. Maybe her fear was the blockage Carlisle couldn't break.

"I think it looks absolutely great."

She could only describe the look that spread on his face as godlike. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. The air was forced out of Leah's chest and she gave a slight groan. Immediately his grip released slightly and he pressed his forehead to hers.

His eyes shone gold and Leah focused on the different hues that were hidden in them. She often called his eyes his mood ring, easily transparent and yet difficult to see for human eyes. Except for lust and thirst - that wasn't difficult. As soon as they stared at two black circles, she knew exactly what was going on. And she also knew that her eyes weren't any lighter.

His cool breath brushed her face and she took a deep breath. Carlisle's scent ensnared her and made the thought of the bunch of vampires roaming the woods far away. She was not surprised that so many had come.

Carlisle was just good and everyone who got to know him, no matter what species he belonged to, could feel it. It was an attraction all of its own, not as obvious as Rosalie's beauty - incidentally, she couldn't see it - but clearly palpable. You probably didn't even notice why you were so drawn to Carlisle. Why you didn't want to disappoint him.

Edward had once said that the last thoughts he heard in Laurent's head were almost wistful. Laurent felt this attraction too and felt the need to belong. At the time his fear of James and his thirst for blood were of course greater, but Edward was not surprised that he had gone to Alaska.

She didn't quite understand the concept after Carlisle insisted that they wouldn't fight for or with him, her jaw dropped. Then what were they here for? Carlisle tried to explain it, but for Leah it was an absolutely nonsensical plan. What's the point of having witnesses? If this spaghetti clan was so cruel and merciless, what good was it to have an audience?

But apparently it was so common in the world of vampires, because more and more vampires came. The Cullens were out and about trying to reach everyone Carlisle had contact over the centuries, and it really came as no surprise that everyone was willing to come.

The presence of so many vampires had an impact on the Quileutes too. More and more changed, the newcomers got younger and younger. Leah remained the only woman, but Seth was no longer the baby of the pack - of course Jacob and Leah always reminded him that he would be their baby pup forever.

But even if the hope grew with every newcomer - so did the the stench, Jacob stated dryly - all hope was washed away at once. Alice and Jasper had left the family. An act that left only a guess - that Alice didn't believe they would survive the encounter with the Volturi.

All of the confidence Carlisle was trying to exude was suddenly gone.

Leah hardly recognized him and although she tried with all her might to encourage him, she could feel that she had no chance. As a wolf, she felt his despair and guilt for dragging them all into this. It took a while before she could follow his thoughts, until she understood what Aro was really after.

Carlisle couldn't hide the thought of getting ahead of him for long and Leah bared her teeth angrily when she heard it.

"If you do that, I'll die too."

Her thoughts were hard and true and hit him right in the heart. She knew that he would sacrifice himself without thinking. For her, for the pack and for his family.

But he wouldn't sacrifice her. He couldn't.

The last evening had come and vows of love and confidence were exchanged, but Leah didn't want to share anything with the bloodsuckers. She waited patiently for Carlisle to complete a duty as chief.

His gaze was dark and heavy, she didn't need to read his mind to feel the despair.

"It's all my fault."

His voice was so weak that Leah had trouble understanding it.

Immediately she got up from the couch and went to him. Without resistance he let himself be pulled into her arms and she pressed her nose to his neck. Her contact made it easier for him to control his thoughts, not to let them slide into the darkness and whenever he was apart from her for too long, it was as if a depression had a grip on him.

Only after a few seconds did she feel how he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. His body was hard and unyielding while hers spread like a warm liquid. She knew if he could cry he would burst into tears and her heart broke at the thought. An existence as pure as Carlisle didn't deserve this pain, not even remotely.

"I wanted to thank you."

His voice touched her hair and was so gentle that she inevitably closed her eyes.

"For what?"

Reluctantly, he pulled his head away and pressed his forehead to hers. Their noses touched and she tried not to pay attention to the lavender-colored circles under the eyes, which did nothing to detract from his beauty.

He shook his head gently.

"You gave me a life worth living."

His voice suddenly sounded raw and tough, as if he were angry that he hadn't found better words. As if he knew that whatever he said, it wasn't even close to enough.

His fingers brushed her cheek and she wondered if he thought it might be the last time. His eyes followed his touch and he swallowed.

"Should I ... should something happen tomorrow, you must know that you gave me happiness that I didn't know was possible for creatures like me."

Leah's eyes grew serious and she shook her head vigorously.

"Nothing will happen to you, Carlisle."

His smile was joyless and compassionate and Leah shook her head again.

He caught her movement and hugged her again.

"Please listen to me. I need to know that you are aware of how much you mean to me. How much you .. You made my existence worth living, Leah."

His voice sounded desperate and Leah swallowed the lump in her throat. They certainly wouldn't spend their last night crying in the anteroom. Slowly she moved away from him and a panic expression spread over his flawless features. She smiled reassuringly at him and pulled him behind her.

Over the next few hours, Carlisle destroyed not only the bed, but pretty much the rest of the bedroom furnishings.

All his despair turned into an overpowering urge to feel as much of Leah as possible. As if she was the only thing that could save him and it was. His fingers dug into her flesh and she was sure the blue and purple spots would not heal anytime soon.

She never cared about it and, for once, he didn't care today either. Her facade crumbled quickly and with each new time she felt more and more. It took a few hours for her to understand that it wasn't just her lust. It was his. Carlisle was so absorbed it took even longer.

He stopped and stared at her in surprise. She caught his gaze and his eyes grew a shade lighter, still black but at least a hint of gold she could make out.

"Carlisle."

He focused on her and raised an eyebrow.

"I love you."

The feeling of what flooded her was so powerful that it took her breath away. A tidal wave of love and happiness went out from him and it took Leah a few seconds to catch herself again.

He beamed at her and attacked her swollen lips in a longing kiss. He left her lips alone for a second and she felt a raw love and despair emanate from him again.

"I love you too, Leah."

He kissed her again and she couldn't help but get one thought very clearly. Should she run out of luck, should the unspeakable happen, Leah wouldn't wait for it. She wasn't going to see Carlisle die. Even if that meant she died first.