Disclaimer: I do not own CSI:Vegas but I wish I did.
SPOILERS – Do NOT read if you haven't seen the new trailers or episode 1
Well this popped into my head after watching the trailer. I apologise for my writing, it sucks.
Bittersweet
They're walking hand in hand down the hallway towards Jim's door.
"He's bitter, Gil. Really bitter. His condition, it's breaking him but he's not talking about it." says Sara quietly. "He thinks he'll manage fine and that nobody cares."
Gil swallows. "But if nobody knows..."
"I know, I know." she replies softly but then she moans with frustration.
She pulls her husband to stop, pulling him to the side. She leans against the wall, with Gil joining her after a few moments.
"I get that it's hard for him. But..." she pushes away from the wall and paces back and forth across the deep blue carpet, trying to count the golden flecks as she walks. She can't focus on counting though, One, Two, Three, Jim, Jim, Jim's going blind, Jim...
Gil watchers her carefully. He knows she feels terrible, as does he, but he allows her to work through this moment of pain come anger she's having.
She stops and leans back against the wall next to Grissom, then slides down it until shes sitting on the floor. Looking up in to the blues eyes she loves she lets out a long puff of breath, closes her eyes and rests her head in her hands. She feels him sit down beside her and she can feel his eyes on her, waiting for her to work through her emotions so that she doesn't erupt in front of Jim.
She's so mad at him. For six years they've hardly seen eachother but they've spoken almost every week, they've emailed and video called but neither party had made the effort to visit. Right now though, in this moment, she wishes that she'd never left. This man, her friend, maybe even her father figure, has needed her and Gil, more than anything but they weren't here for him. They didn't even know he was having problems with his eyes, never mind the Fuchs Corneal Disease. He's going blind. How could he not have told them this? Why wouldn't he tell them? Why suffer alone? He says he can see enough to get by at the moment but how long will that last? And with everything else that is happening in Vegas right now... It's all too much for him. He's so bitter and angry, at life, his friends and himself. When he asked her a few days ago, "And what's your husbands excuse?" She felt her heart sink at his tone of voice. He was so resentful it unsettled her. She'd never know him be so bitter about anything. He's going to need help, a support system. A family. He needs Grissom and Sara back in his life – back in Las Vegas.
Turning to look in to those eyes again, she blinks away her tears of frustration and whispers softly, " He should've told us. We can't fix him but we could've been there for him."
"I know, Sweetheart." replies Gil. "He should've told us. But we all react differently to different situations. Years ago when I was having trouble with my hearing I didn't plan on telling anyone. I only told Catherine because she was taking over my role for a while."
"That was different."
"No, it wasn't. I was going deaf and I told nobody."
Sara shakes her head.
"Sweetheart, my point is we're all different. Jim has no family. His closest friends all up and left Vegas. He's had nobody for a long time. And how do you just add something like that in to a phone conversation to your friends? "Oh, by the way, I'm going blind.".
Sara sighs. "He still should've told us something."
"I know. But he didn't. We're here now though, so let's go and have the talk we should've had a long time ago."
He pushes himself up and holds out his hand to his wife.
Taking it she nods and pushes up until they're face to face.
"Just... he's not the Jim you last seen. Okay?"
He nods shortly and they head towards his door again.
Steeling himself he knocks quietly.
After a long few moments they hear a noise from inside and Sara feels Gil give her hand a quick squeeze, just before the door is pulled open with a little too much force. Jim is standing there, dark glasses covering his eyes, his shirt unevenly buttoned and a glass full of a strong smelling amber liquid in his left hand, which is spilling over the sides as he comes to a stand still.
She feels Gil tense up beside her, his hand holding hers that little bit tighter. She squeezes back.
They seem to be staring at each other for a long time, taking in the sight of eachother, Jim staring at Gil after seeing him for the first time in years. And Gil staring at Jim, his mouth slightly agape at the appearance of his best friend. Sara is watching the two of them as she tries to decipher what's about to happen. You can cut the tension in the hall with a knife, she can feel the resentment emanating from Jim as he stands there. She knows that Jim knows who it is, weather he can see him fully or not.
Gil swallows and tries to speak but his voice is quiet. "Jim..."
There's another long pause. Jim takes a long swig from his glass, which Sara assumes is an expensive whiskey judging by the smell.
"Well, well, well... Look who's here." says Jim. His words slurred and the glass he's holding spills a little more whiskey on to the dark carpet, this definitely isn't his first glass.
"It's good to see you Jim." says Gil, his voice soft.
"Well, I can't see you too good but I knew it was you. After six years of not seeing my best mate, you still have the same outline. And Sara, how nice of you to finally get him back to Vegas. I guess the fishes aren't as important as you were making them out to be..."
Sara exhales before she replies, and squeezes her husbands hand again. "I told you he'd come once he made it back to land."
"Yeah well, I don't need him. Or you. Or anyone for that matter. I'm fine. I can manage on my own."
Gil just stands there staring at the unrecognizable man in front of him. The image tugging at his heart strings. The guilt he feels is overwhelming.
"Can you?" whispers Sara.
"Clearly he doesn't think I can." says Jim, cocking his head towards Gil. His voice still slurring but sounding angry. "I mean, my situation must be dire if you're here. You only seem to return to Las Vegas for dire situations. You came back last time because your Lady Friend was in trouble."
Sara stands there, mouth agape.
"Jim." scolds Gil.
But Jim seems to be on a roll. "And you came back when... Oh wait, you didn't come back when Sara was arrested for murder." he growls.
Sara gasps and releases Gil's hand to cover her mouth. No, this cannot be happening.
"Jim..." Sara pleads, he voice almost a whisper.
"What does that say about his feelings for you?" He looks at her. "Ahhh, probably a good thing he wasn't here for that though, eh Sara. After all, the victim was the guy you were screwing. Imagine that. It would've been a bit awkward..." he finishes, his voice animated at the last few words.
His words hit Sara hard in the chest and she stumbles a step backwards at the force of them.
She can't look at her husband but she feels him tense up again and he reaches his hand out to steady her, but misses. She can't believe what Jim has just done to her; to them. She never told Gil about that case, there was no need to tell him. He wasn't a part of her life at that time.
Sara leans against the wall opposite Jim's door in shock, her heart racing and head spinning. Hew world tilting.
Jim opens his mouth as if he's going to continue with his rant but he's interrupted by a deep growling voice.
"Jim, that's enough!"
Both men just watch one another whilst Sara stands there trying to breathe through the dizziness which is sweeping over her.
Breathe Sara, breathe. She tells herself. Just breathe.
The silence is deafening and if the tension is crackling between them all.
It takes a long few seconds to pull herself round and finally take a small step forward.
Gil and Jim are still watching each other as her eyes bore in to Jim, who seems to be slowly realizing what has just happened; what he's just done. She sees his hard face soften from bitterness to regret.
Slowly Jim lifts his hand and pushes his sun glasses up on his head. Both men gasp simultaneously, Jim at the shock of his own bitterness, and Gil at the cloudy eyes staring at his wife.
"You Son-Of-A-Bitch." says Sara, her voice stronger than she expected but coming out in an exhale.
"Sara." he husband whispers.
She still can't look at him. She can't face the look she'll find on his face. She keeps her eyes on Jim, who looks crestfallen by his own outburst.
"Sara." Jim says softly. Taking a step towards her he reaches out a shaking hand. "I'm so..."
"Don't." she growls, stepping away from him. "Don't you ever come near me again."
She turns away from both men and calmly walks down the corridor towards the elevators.
Shaking his head in disgust, Gil turns to follow Sara.
"Gil, tell her I'm sorry."
He stops and turns back towards his long time friend. "You tell her, if she'll ever speak to you again." he replies. "She was right, you are bitter. And you wonder why there's nobody else here with you."
Walking away he goes to find his wife. He's not too worried about her, their relationship is stronger than ever. Although, she clearly doesn't know that he knows everything about the Basderic case. He had his ways of checking in on Sara, even after they split up. He would check in to make sure she was alright. And although it killed him knowing that she was moving on with other people, he had no right to feel that way. They were no longer a part of each others life. But when he heard that she was the prime suspect he instantly booked a flight back to Vegas and steered his boat back up towards California. He was in the airport ready to board when he received a call saying she was cleared and safe. He wiped away his tears and headed back to his boat in San Diego, finally setting sail towards Costa Rica.
He finds Sara sitting on a small sofa opposite the elevators, her head in her hands whilst she breathes deeply. His heart cracks a little, he knows how devastated she is right now. It's the way he felt when he found out that she'd been sleeping with someone else, someone who wasn't him.
He takes a seat next to her and reaches for her hand.
"Hey." he whispers.
Looking up at him with watery, angry eyes, she swallows and huffs out a breath.
"Gil, I..."
"I know..."
She watches him for a moment.
"It wasn't. I mean, we weren't..."
"Sshhh, sweetheart I know." he strokes his thumb across the back of her hand in attempt to soothe her.
She takes a few more breaths to calm herself and rubs vigorously at her tears.
"You know?"
He tries to smile but it turns in to a grimace, and nods his head. "I know everything."
"Oh.."
There's a long silence, not quite uncomfortable but not their usual happy silence.
"How?" she asks. "I didn't..."
Now he does smile a little.
"I always kept an eye on you, Sara. Even when we weren't together. I have my sources. And for the record, as soon as I heard that you were the prime suspect I booked a flight out. I was going to prove your innocence."
"Why?" she whispers. "I was..." she couldn't get her words out. She was sleeping with another man.
"Sara, even when we split up I never stopped loving you. I've loved you since the day we met. I'd do anything in my power to protect you."
She nods her head as if she agrees but she's still confused.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
"Sweetheart, stop. You had no reason to tell me anything. I had no right to know."
Looking down at their joined hands and then back to him, she could see in his eyes how much it hurt him; knowing that she was sleeping with someone else so soon after they split.
"You would've helped me, even though it was killing you to know?"
"I won't lie, Sara, it tore me apart. But I loved you and your safety and happiness was all that mattered. You were being framed for murder and tormented by a psychopath, my feelings weren't important. You were."
Still holding hands they lean back on the sofa and take in the last few minutes. They sit in silence for a long time, but now it's not as uncomfortable. Gil continues to stroke the back of her hand whilst her mind tries to process everything.
He knew and he was going to help her.
Eventually, Sara leans across and kisses her husbands bristly cheek.
"Thank you." she whispers. "And, just so you know, it didn't mean anything. I think, I think it was more of a release. I hadn't told anyone about us and it was just a way for..."
"Sara, stop, I don't want to know. I love you. That will never change. We've had our problems but we've always found our way back to each other. That time was... It was just another hurdle to jump."
Sara nods and smiles a little.
"Is there anything you want to know about that time in our life? Before we never mention it again."
"Nothing. We were both hurting, Sara, but it's in the past. We agreed to leave the past where it is."
"Okay."
As one they stand up and move towards the elevator. As they wait for the doors to open she leans in to him and just breathes him in. This is the man she's loved for so long, so patient and calm and understanding with her. They've had their ups and downs but he's right, they always find their way home to each other.
Reaching up she softly kisses his mouth, almost shyly.
"I love you too." she smiles.
He returns her smile.
"But we do have one more issue to resolve."
Sara groans and shakes her head. "Fancy some lunch?"
"Sara?"
"No, he's drunk and he's an ass. I'd rather let him sweat for the night. There was absolutely no need for that outburst. If you didn't know about that case his outburst could've ruined us."
He slowly nods his head.
"He's scared and he's sorry, Sara."
"You go back if you want to, that's fine. I'm letting him sweat. I hate him right now."
There's a shrill ping of sound as the elevator doors open.
Gil gently pushes her forward through the doors. "Okay, you win. Lunch it is." he smiles. "What do you fancy?"
She shrugs but smiles when she looks at back at him. "I like the diner down in the food court, they have a good veggie menu."
"Sounds good, let's go."
"Let's go."
The End