Homeward Bound

by Midnight Minute

When Petra is told that her father demands she return home for good, it seems nothing can be done to prevent her sudden and unwanted departure from Levi's squad. She is all but prepared to leave when the Captain presents her with a single viable option: "Marry me, Petra." Just because they were technically married, didn't mean they had to be in an actual, real relationship...Right?

97. Extras

Alright.

Here we are at the promised 'Extras' section that I've been talking about for so long now. I've been wondering how to go about this where it's not just pages and pages of me ranting about things I've already talked about in the past, so in efforts to remain efficient and informative, here is the below outline of the topics I'll cover in this author's note!

I. Inspiration
II. Plot Arcs
III. Extras

Anything else not covered above that you feel may have been missed or you are just super curious about - as always my inbox is open!

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I. Inspiration

So would you believe it, the inspiration for this story was two-fold. I mention in chapter 73's ending A/N that the scene there with Levi sitting on the bed with Petra and he just asks her flat out 'Have you fallen in love with the Captain' – that is what set the stage for this entire plot, but the original idea was an alternate, opposite version to this story. I'm not sure if I'll ever write it out seems how it shares themes so close to this one, but I'll share the general idea behind it.

This version of Homeward Bound took the idea of Petra and Levi being forced to marry, (to overly simplify the plot) where they go through with the marriage and eventually fall in love. The original Homeward Bound's plot was somewhat the opposite. Through plot mechanics, Levi is made aware that he is being forced into marrying Petra, something she isn't aware of, and rather than going through with it, with Erwin's awareness and permission he steals away into the night with Petra in tow to avoid marrying her by force. Back at the Scouts, Erwin is handling the situation on his end and meanwhile Levi and Petra are in hiding, just waiting the whole thing out and passing time until Erwin gives the all clear. It was a lot more suspenseful, had some REALLY dark themes, and was the foil to the question of: What if Petra and Levi had to get married under some weird, forced arrangement? In the original idea I had, they chose not to marry and rather fought against the situation – versus in this universe, they accept the marriage and what's documented here is the outcome of their decision.

Even now I like the concept of both versions, but I favored this one due to it being a bit easier to write out due to the wider cast. It would have been a lot more difficult to write out proper character development when it's just Petra and Levi killing time in a cabin for who knows how long, so that version was scraped pretty quickly in favor of this one.

Music:

Surely yall knew this was coming, right?

I truly cannot credit music enough when it comes to the writing process for this, or any other thing I have written. Music inspires me, clarifies my thoughts, and gives me the words that I can't always find for myself when it comes to relaying a character's thoughts or perspectives. For this story, I would fit whatever best matched the mood of that chapter/arc so after threeish years of writing, it's nearly impossible to make a cohesive list of what inspired me! Even still, here's my best attempt at the top 10 repeats that I found myself coming back to time and time again:

Sunflower (Post Malone)

Must be doing something right (Billy Currington)

The Way I am (Gavin Haley, Ella Vos)

For the Longest Time (Billy Joel)

King (Lauren Aquilina)

Missing You (G Dragon)

Te Robaré (Nicky Jam, Ozuna)

She's so high (Tal Bachman)

Hungry Eyes (Greyson Chance)

Amber (311)

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II. Plot Arcs

Chapters 1-7: Opening/Wedding Arc

Plot: This was basic narration, just to set the scene of the situation Petra was in and lay the groundwork for what both Levi and Petra expected regarding their marriage. This arc was responsible for confirming that while yes, they were friends (I didn't want to start from ground zero in terms of character development) they were not romantically involved in any sense of the word. While in the world of fanfiction, being in love with your boss is just par for the course, but in reality – most people are not. I tried very hard to make it clear that there was no romance occurring between them or even any desire for it, since both of were clearly career minded people.

Chapters 9 – 13: Levi Sick Arc

While its an odd detail of the manga, it wasn't one I could overlook due to how prominent it seemed to be. While Levi himself doesn't like to be touched, oddly enough he himself is a very touchy person. He grabs people, pulls hair, physically turns their heads, gets way too close and in their space – it happens so much in the manga that it became a staple of mine for Levi's first line of communication regarding how he feels. When there is business to see to, yes he often uses words, but if its something he's feeling that's not as black and white or as easily conveyed, he often responds through some sort of touch towards that impacted party, even if it goes against social norms or accepted behavior, because that's how he feels most comfortable expressing himself more often than not.

All that to say, considering this was core to Levi's communication and expression, I needed something very early in the story that would break down the physical barrier between him and Petra, where he's comfortable in both touching her, and receiving her touch – all in the correct context of course. Him being sick was a plot device (albeit heavy handed) to develop their characters and the memories shared between them, but more importantly, address that physical barrier head on where Petra can touch him and her touch isn't offensive, rather soothing and safe, where Levi can return her touch without wondering if he's done damage or offending her. At the end of that arc, Levi affectionately brushes her hair to the side as his way is his way of saying 'Thank you' because his words just can't accurately capture how he feels. In that moment, the action is unsettling and confuses both of them and it's the first moment where, even if it's individually, they are both well aware that things have changed between them. Neither are sure what to make of it, and Levi walks away outright.

Chapter 15 – 20: The Banquet Arc

Ahhh the Banquet Arc – my husband's favorite arc of the story in fact! This arc was more foundational and a head nod toward the desire end of their relationship. (Whats a good romance without some classic attraction, right?) This section makes use of repetitive sparks and interactions where the line of professionalism is pushed ever so slightly (often by Petra, even though she wasn't aware of how impacting her actions are for poor Levi) and we see that Levi plain and simple likes receiving said attention from her, and he doesn't quite have it in him to put distance back between them. Due to their previous encounters from the last arc, Petra's more open with him, teases him, and has a casualness about her that for Levi, is so disarming and puts her in his good graces at every turn. For a man who can't make friends and struggles to uphold his bonds, someone wanting to spend time with him and not expecting something from him in return; I'll bet it spoke depths to him that Petra would have never known.

Come chapter 20 where they kiss for the first time, we see such an important moment that for me was actually critical for writing out Petra specifically. Petra, god help her, always prioritizes Levi. Think I'm being dramatic? Go back to the manga. Almost every interaction we see from her swings back to what Levi thinks, what he says, his leadership, and his safety specifically. Point being that for this piece, I just couldn't see Petra kissing Levi proactively on her own like that. Oh sure, I could see her thinking about it, wanting to, balancing on her very tip toes as she struggled with her discipline, but at the end of the day, Petra just wouldn't force Levi into any situation, not even something as simple as a kiss, because it goes against her nature to force Levi's hand like that.

Levi though? Well, he isn't charmed with the same graces as Petra, and when he sees that Petra wants him but that she won't take that step forward that could change it all, Levi - knowing the risks the whole time - decides then and there that he wants to chance it because he wants her, and thus seals their fate.

Chapter 21 – 27: The Fallout Arc

This arc was really where a vast majority of the character building happened, because I needed to show how this couple functioned at their worst so that come the end of the story, it means that much more when we can see them at their best. We have a pissed off, wishy washy Levi, and a sulking, fearful Petra who wants nothing more than to run and hide. While its easier to blame Levi due to his shortcomings being the most obvious in this arc, critical readers will notice that both are guilty of being selfish, unwilling to communicate, and rather choosing to fight their battles alone, instead of pooling their strengths and working together in their day-to-day life. Both are miserable, but despite this they are too prideful to approach the other for resolution. Petra pretends its all okay, and Levi refuses to admit he's hurt and miserable being left alone.

Side note – when Levi is in Erwin's office and he sighs saying 'I'm just not the sort that can do this kind of thing, like you or-" This was actually a head nod to Erwin and Hanji, who were in a relationship that most weren't privy to. Levi would have been aware however, and in frustration he is attempting to communicate that while he understands a couple can function in a work setting since he sees Erwin and Hanji doing that very thing on the daily – he believes he is simply incapable of such a feat and is frustrated by something that seems to come so easily to those around him.

This is the arc that also lays the groundwork for the upcoming gas shortage arc.

Chapter 28 – 31: Decisions Arc

In this smaller but important arc, we see in their own ways and on their own terms, both Petra and Levi have come to terms with their feelings for the other, whatever they may be. While I think you could debate that Levi accepted his feelings for her perhaps back in Erwin's office, when Petra asks him to step back and respect their distance because 'its for the best', Levi disagrees with her viewpoint but still says nothing – showing he's still a little selfish and prioritizes his wants and needs above hers because he doesn't want to be hurt or abandoned. As time goes by, Levi decides he wants to bring it up for discussion because he just isn't satisfied by being kept at arms distance anymore, even at the risk of being rejected by Petra. Of course, he loses his chance and is sent out on the trip with the rest of leadership.

While Levi is gone, Petra has time to think and reevaluate where they stand - no thanks to Eld and his constant intervening of course. Once Levi returns, seeing him in person gives her the clarity she needs and she communicates that whatever happens between them, she's accepted it. With both of them now willing to allow things to develop naturally between them, where they are working together and not prioritizing their own interests, that preps the upcoming arc for more plot and character development.

Chapter 32 – 38: Gas Shortage Arc

This section sets the plot in motion for the gas shortage, and this is same the vessel that drives the rest of the plot in a truly expositional point A to point B format. As Petra and Levi work together in their professional lives, it allows them to personally grow closer and the growth that happens is natural and authentic because its contained within the realm of something they both prioritize – the Scout Regiment. This section highlights Levi's strengths as a Captain, but also shows that in the right context (for Petra specifically) he's quite good at supporting her and knowing how to make her feel empowered as both a Scout and human being.

Chapter 39 – 49: Petra's Injury Arc

This section continues with the events from the gas shortage through the unique angle of Petra's inquiry. Petra being so vulnerable and weak demands that Levi play a more active role in her life as more than just her Captain, but finally as her husband specifically – a balance that he's struggled to understand and embrace in the past. This breeds a sort of confidence in him and we see new developments happening as a direct result. For the first time, Levi stays in her room, helps her get dressed and assists with changing her bindings – on the whole intentionally embracing his role as her husband for the first time and realizing that he quite enjoys it.

This turn of events revisits Levi's interest in their lacking physical relationship, and he's fully come to terms with the fact that he does want the physical intimacy with her– an interesting order of events, considering that he's been attracted to her this whole time, but he's never really struggled with his attraction until now.

Chapter 51- 57: Gas Shortage Wrap-Up and Transition Arc

This arc is one of pure transition, confirming the time that has passed for Petra as she's researched and partnered with leadership for the training and implementation process, as well as the healing that would have occurred regarding her injury. Erwin lays the foundational groundwork that will later become Petra's future career change, as sets the stage for the upcoming trip to her father's house.

In this arc, Petra is somewhat forced into tell Levi directly that she wants to stay by his side and that due to her strong feelings for him she'd never be content with some halfhearted, uncertain arrangement – important because due to their extreme comfort with the other, its made it where a lot of their relationship has fallen into this 'don't ask don't tell policy'. When Levi is put on the spot, he has no words and is unable to tell Petra how he feels about her, even though there is no doubt that his feelings are just as sincere and perhaps even better understood than Petra's at this point in the plotline.

Chapter 58 – 59: Traveling Arc

For as small as it was, I really wanted this arc to be special and show how natural things were between them, even when fighting. Petra is still angry and hurt by Levi reading her letters, she's dreading the upcoming meeting with her father, not to mention physically in pain due to the recent adjustment of the cast being removed. As for Levi, he's in unfamiliar environments, is very aware of Petra's all-around miserable condition, and at this point, is so sexually frustrated that as the author, I pity him. Even still, this arc is full of tender moments, heart warming conversations and as simple as it is, did anyone notice there was no concern or conversation about them sharing a bed?

Note that Erwin would have picked their room and I was intentional in highlighting that the couple was sharing a bed, but just as intentional about not having that moment of 'So uh Levi…there's uh only one bed…' because at that point they had already shared a bed (even just circumstantially) where it wouldn't have mattered if they shared the space or not.

Chapter 60 – 70: Petra's Father and Timmy's Meddling

This arc ties back to the very beginning in chapter one and clarifies that yes, Petra's father doesn't support her being in the military, but the real man behind the curtain was Timmy, who was attempting to win her hand through underhanded means. The point of this arc, more than just tie the story together, was to put their relationship to the test. At a time where either Levi or Petra at any time could have taken the easy route – Levi could have disappeared and stayed with the Garrison, Petra could have thrown Levi under the bus in attempts to appease her father and sidestep some hard conversations – both chose to take the heat and tackle the belittling and the tough conversations time and time again.

This arc provides a lot of much needed answers regarding the nature of Petra's insecurities and how, even though from the outside her upbringing appears ideal, it becomes clear that Petra hasn't exactly lived a charmed life either. Whereas Levi's scars from his upbringing are more physical in nature, Petra's are more mental and as Levi learns more about her upbringing, he communicates and reaffirms with his words and actions that he isn't afraid of her strength or intimidated by her willful nature. This is key for Petra, who has never been allowed to own her strengths and is belittled every time that she tries.

On that note, Timmy is meant to foil Levi in almost every way – both are cunning, but Timmy uses his skills strictly for his own interests and doesn't mind guilting or manipulating people to play into his hand. Timmy is charming; loud and domineering, versus Levi who is more soft spoken; undeniably more on reserved side and not as comfortable bringing attention to himself as his flashy counterpart. Timmy often speaks over, or will even speak for Petra, instead of allowing her to properly represent herself or her thoughts. Levi listens to Petra, values her input, and knows that she is a true source of wisdom and insight – knowing that to speak over her does a disservice to both Petra, and himself as well.

In short, this arc was meant to highlight the irony in that her father thought he knew what was best for Petra. Timmy was everything her father could have wanted, but he reinforced every insecurity she had, didn't bring out her strengths, and could care less about her goals or what she wanted to accomplish with her life. Meanwhile, while certainly unconventional, Levi was caring, encouraging, and gave Petra a boldness to keep growing and trying new things in a way that shows just how much she has blossomed while standing by his side. The fact her father was fighting so hard to pull Petra out of the military, and by extension, Levi specifically – this is a classic case of literary irony considering her father was doing the exact opposite of his intention.

Chapter 71 – 80: The Ackermans Arc

This is the arc where finally the focus is specifically on Levi and Petra. Their physical relationship, their emotional relationship – the conversations they now freely have with each other about the future; it all culminates here. Now that they have shut down Petra's father and Timmy, the question presents itself what does Levi want, and what does Petra want. Timmy presents them with the option to annul the marriage, and it grants them the choice that was taken away from them before. While by definition, they can walk away as nothing more than friends who went the distance for the other, they both agree that being married already is their first choice, and the rest is history.

Chapter 81 – 90: Petra Flies Arc

It was a persistent theme – and an important one – that Levi wasn't really the star of the show in terms of development and badassery. Levi's skills are fairly well known, well developed, and pretty well upfront, versus Petra in this story was a bit of a dark horse where an entire skillset of hers has remained dormant. After growing closer to her and slowly encouraging her to take the risk because he believed in her and supported her every step of the way, Petra is finally able to progress in her career path in such a way that Levi is no longer able to pave the way forward for her. When Erwin makes a point of putting her at a crossroads, in a mix of Levi struggling to revert to back to treating her as her unbiased Captain as well as Petra feeling excluded from all the important meetings and updates, Petra decides to take the leap and move off from Levi's squad.

Needless to say, bittersweet. Growth comes with sacrifice, a theme we consistently see in the Scout Regiment, and I wanted to make sure that was highlighted in this story. Plain and simple, Petra couldn't have both. She couldn't stay on the frontlines, and play researcher with Erwin and Hanji and when it came time to pick a side, her character development shines though because it would have been easier to just stay with Levi! It would have been safer, easier, and getting to stay under the Captain's umbrella takes the pressure off her in more ways than one. However. She's grown. The status quo isn't appealing to her anymore, and with Levi supporting her and reaffirming her success every step of the way, she has the confidence needed to forge her own path.

Chapter 91- 96: Wrap up Arc

This is the final curtain call for our characters, the plot, and our last special moments with Levi and Petra. This section further calls out how they have grown individually, together, and how their average day-to-day life will look now that Petra's role has officially changed in the military.

While this arc intentionally highlights all that has changed around Petra and Levi – new characters, expectations, the process of Levi readjusting the squad and the house getting furnished as they start to live life together – there is an intentional lull regarding the changes in their relationship specifically. At this point, I wanted to narrate (through a lack of needed narration) that the Ackerman's have found their stride and their new normal is fairly effortless and authentic.

One of my favorite moments of this arc is in the very last chapter, where Petra is hovering over Levi who's a sweating, miserable mess from overheating, and Petra herself who has chaotic, half dried hair and an oh so appealing set of long sleeve pajamas due to her previous freezing cold status. Its as she leans over him that Levi realizes how normal (and special) this moment is and all at once, he's truly grateful to Petra for all of it. He knows exactly what his day-to-day life would look like had things never changed between them, and seeing the side by side comparison to where he was only a year before isn't lost on him.

This arc ends with Levi welcoming her home – a head nod to the sometimes subtle, sometimes not so subtle themes that booked marked this story from start to end and earned the story it's purposefully given name. Both Petra and Levi worked hard to carefully and thoughtfully build a foundation for themselves – a home where they could both exist and be perfectly known and accepted, during the good times and bad. For Levi, it wasn't the military base, and for Petra, it certainly wasn't with her father either. Over time, they both found this haven within each other and it's not by accident that only when Petra comes back from her trip, does Levi (for the first time) refer to their house as a home.

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III. Extras

Here are the odd one offs that I didn't know where else to put.

So:

Technology and colloquialisms used in Homeward Bound: I could go on about this one for a long time, but the short version is, I find the technology of the SNK universe to be so inconsistent that I truly felt no pressing need to stick to the dark ages theme. They have trains, the printing press, different types of guns and rifles, the 3DM gear – but no electricity or plumbing? A true shoutout to all the authors that have the patience to write out candles and oil lanterns and wells and outhouses, but I chose not to. There was enough character development and plot demands that I didn't want to take even more time just to write out those mundane details that, again, are historically inconsistent even in the manga itself.

On that same vein, I used a lot of colloquialisms as well that wouldn't make sense in the SNK Universe. That's the way the cookie crumbles, just like riding a bike, no shit Sherlock, among others I used in the story when the moment felt right. I have no problem with people calling these moments out and saying its inconsistent with the SNK universe because on the whole, they are correct! The problem is, every language and culture has their own version of colloquialisms and idioms, but…it's not exactly like we have a list of what the people in the walls said, or what those idioms translated into that I can use instead.

Because of this, I just used the ones that I know and are relevant to readers in today's culture. Like above, its an artistic deviation I willing chose that borders on the side of a shortcut or easy way out, but again, when facing a plot as long and as detailed as mine, it was one of the ways to make the task just a bit easier for me to chew as the writer. I'm not perfect by any means, and the more I reread this story (looking at you, thousands of italicized words) the more I see that I have much to improve upon. Even still, those two choices were intentional and I regret nothing because even in more works to come, I'll do the same thing. Muahaha!

Final thoughts:

This part, as I'm typing now, is the most surreal. Somehow, I truly knew that I would eventually finish this piece, and that I would see it through to completion even though that isn't a strength of mine. When I think about the last three years, a few people said they felt like they grew along side the story step for step as they developed with the characters and can I just say…same? For the record, neither Petra or Levi were based off myself as the author and they weren't used as literary tools to insert myself into the story – but that doesn't mean I don't share similarities with the characters that allowed me to identify with them better. For Petra, her career advancement and lacking confidence is truly pulled from my own personal experience in the workplace, and while I am very skilled at my job, I've been in the position I'm in for the past five years and it's become a comfort zone to me. Not long after I finished this story however, admittedly inspired and going well outside of my comfort zone, I applied for a new position in a new department that was a promotion and really tested my skillset.

Wouldn't you know, I landed it.

I have grown in my career to be sure, but I've grown in my marriage as I've gone through some really low lows and some pretty blissful highs. I have a son, and to say that it hasn't been a wild ride as I learn how to be a mom to this wild adventure seeking half pint – I grew up in a lot of ways!

There were readers who were along for the ride since chapter one, some that joined in along the way, some that dropped out, and some that I'd laugh in wonder as they read through some seventy (LONG) chapters in three days time. Everyone's story of what they took out of this story was different, but feeling as though I got to help build this strange and wonderful community was one I wasn't expecting and as I've said so many times before – allow me to say it one more time:

It has been a true honor, writing for you like this. Thank you for coming on this adventure with me, and whether our paths cross again or whether they don't, it was an absolute joy and one that has changed me for the better.

~ Midnight