Hazbin Devils

Chapter 4

"A fine evening to you, ma'am," Alastor greeted a passer-by who was quick to avoid him.

Flawlessly dressed, old world manners, and a perpetual smile on his face, Alastor fancied himself a gentleman among the crass public. Out of fear or respect, at least they acknowledged his presence. As for why he was out of the hotel that day, it was simple. He was craving for some jambalaya and was lazy to cook. He had his fill but nothing came close to his mother's recipe and taste as good.

The hotel was just right around the corner but Alastor decided to loiter around the area for a bit. He had sensed that something interesting was about the happen, something unusual that not even the annual purges could stop. In fact, the sensation felt like an oncoming storm coming to challenge the world and cover it in its dark embrace. Good, he liked challenges. Alastor lived for excitement and he was hoping whatever it was would not disappoint him.

Right on cue, the deer demon noticed the Magne family limousine pass him by. It struck him as odd because Charlie was not going anywhere that day so it was either a family member visiting or someone Charlie had deemed important. Despite the darkened windows, he managed to catch a glimpse of two humanoid silhouettes behind them. What struck him as interesting was the fact that the silhouettes bore no distinguishable or animalistic features as most demons would. These two looked purely human.

Since the hotel was in sight, he kept an eye on the limo and waited to see who stepped out.

"You noticed that red guy staring at us?" Dante asked.

"Yes, and I don't like it. Reminds me of the creepy neighbour we used to have," Vergil replied warily. "Looks like we're here," he added while picking up Yamato from the seat beside him.

As the car slowed down to a stop, the two brothers opened the door and stepped outside. The hotel at first glance looked like an impossible amalgamation of a rickety haunted house and a circus. There was even part of a ship stuck to its side for whatever reason. The awning by the main entrance was tattered as if nobody had bothered to maintain the place for a long time. The most striking detail of all was the hilariously tacky sign high above the hotel. Dante scratched his chin while tapping his feet while Vergil turned around to see the limo drive away.

"Hazbin Hotel," Dante read the sign out loud. "Man, so much for a welcoming five-star experience."

"I don't see how this is the place to rehabilitate sinners, but better here than being out there I suppose," Vergil remarked. "I also noticed that the red guy is coming here."

When Dante turned around to look, he saw the same smiling deer demon from before approaching the hotel. His steps were deliberate and gentlemanly, but the brothers could immediately sense something from him they did not like. It was not the first time and it certainly would not be the last. If he wanted a fight, he would get it no problem. However, both held back in case this demon just wanted to talk with them. As he got closer, the two noticed that he was dressed in some early 20th century fashion and held a vintage microphone in his right hand.

"Well, well, I must say I wasn't expecting humans to show up in hell, but that'd be almost impossible, isn't it?" he said cheerfully while extending his hand for a shake. The brothers withheld their shakes but it did not deter him. "Otherwise, you would've been ripped apart by now," he added in an increasingly distorted voice.

Normally, his attempts to unnerve people would make even other overlords shudder, but here were two seemingly normal humans just looking at him with challenge in their eyes. They were ready to pounce and their stances gave away their intentions. The red one was bold and brash, his stance easy to read but it looked like he knew it and was not going to hide it. The one in blue was more subtle but his frown, his frown so deep that it would probably carve his face in half, it was so unbecoming of a person. Alastor smiled inwardly as he did outwards, knowing that these two were special.

"Yeah, so we've been told," Dante said casually. "You an employee of this place?"

"Oh ho, that I certainly am, my boy," Alastor said while resuming his cheerful voice and retracting his hand. "My name's Alastor, and who might you two fine gentlemen be?"

"I'm Dante, he's Vergil," Dante answered on their behalf.

"A pleasure. Now, how can we help you two? Looking to redeem yourselves and gain entry to heaven? Or perhaps you're here for other reasons. Anything you want, we'll try to accommodate," Alastor said while morphing into existence what looked like a menu.

"Yes, how about getting us Charlotte?" Vergil asked tersely.

"Ah, looking for the missus of the premise I see? Very well, come right this way boys, I'm sure she'll be very happy to see you," Alastor said while ushering them into the hotel. He snapped his finger and the menu he was holding disappeared in a flash of green light.

The hotel looked even worse on the inside. The whole place looked abandoned with many of the furniture still covered in white cloth. Some bloody tools were left lying around the place and some of the wallpaper were even covered in blood. There portraits almost everywhere, many of them showing the Magne family. Some hung from the walls while the rest were stacked on the floor. One other thing that immediately made them known to the two were the apple and circus themes that were absolutely EVERYWHERE. Even Dante could not help but wince.

The interior was far from abandoned however. The front desk was manned by some winged demon whose face was planted onto the desk with his hand still holding onto a bottle of whiskey. He was muttering something nearly incoherent in his sleep that sounded like he was threatening to cut their spleen. On a nearby sofa, they saw Vaggie chatting with Charlie about something. Both were in such deep conversation that they did not notice Alastor, Dante, and Vergil standing by the entrance. Dante and Vergil went to the front counter out of curiosity, and the younger of the two even managed to pry the bottle of whiskey from the winged demon's hand.

"Jack Daniel's? This guy's got taste," Dante quipped.

It was then the two ladies noticed the brothers. The twinkle in Charlie's eyes were unmistakable while Vaggie remained passive. At the same time, the winged demon's hand twitched as he tried to feel for his bottle. After sensing it was not in his hand, he woke up abruptly only to find a tall and white-haired human looming over him with furrowed eyebrows. He yelped and fell backwards from his chair and knocking on a table behind him, causing an empty wine bottle to fall onto his head. Vaggie went to help the winged demon up while Charlie went to greet the two. Alastor on the other hand made his way to the kitchen to make himself some coffee.

"You're finally here!" Charlie exclaimed with more excitement than she normally would. "I was hoping you'd show up earlier, but better late than never I suppose. My name's Charlie, this is Vaggie, and the one at front desk is Husk."

"Sup, fuckers," Husk said.

"I think I can see the family resemblance," Dante said with a chuckle. "I'm –"

"Dante, and that must be Vergil. I'm guessing you two are brothers?"

"For a lack of a better word, yes, we are brothers," Vergil said.

"What's his problem?" Vaggie asked while gesturing at him.

Dante shrugged. "Bro's always the serious one, but hey, guy's got a good heart deep down. Isn't that right?"

"Yeah, whatever you say."

As much as Dante liked the attention, he was still feeling somewhat confused. He was too used to demons being evil creatures who would not hesitate to rip people and each other apart over petty things and were embodiments of everything a good person should not be. Yet here they were in a different hell where the demons looked like demons but acted so much closer to humans with twisted desires, but still humanlike nonetheless. He remembered Vergil asking him in the car if he would not hesitate to strike them down if they acted out of line. It still remained a question unanswered, a question he hoped would not be answered in the harshest way possible.

"Oh gosh, I can't believe it, two actual humans!" Charlie exclaimed and drew him out from his train of thought. "But…how'd you two not get harassed by demons?

Dante smiled while Vergil shook his head as he knew what was coming. This was followed by the younger brother summoning a rose out of thin air and holding it in his mouth while summoning his sword. He spun and swung his sword around him so gracefully that the motions were fluid and seamless. Despite so many close calls, the blade never once touched his hair or anything else around it, and Dante ended with a row of orange summoned swords forming a heart shape behind him. He took the rose from his mouth and tossed it towards Charlie who grabbed it in her right hand.

"They can't handle me," Dante said with a sparkle in his teeth.

"O-oh, well, that's quite…charming," Charlie stuttered while she bit her lower lip and clenching the rose close to her chest. She was trying hard to look away and her face was visibly red.

Vaggie on the other hand was not amused, her left eye was twitching and her bow became rather sharp. "What the fuck, are you serious?!"

"Who the fuck's this show-off?" the winged demon asked as he rubbed his sore forehead.

"My brother," Vergil growled while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"It was a rhetorical question, but sucks to be you anyway," the winged demon said. "Fucking hell, I didn't need to wake up to that shit show," he muttered while turning around to pour himself a drink.

Charlie shook herself out of her stupor and tossed the rose back at Dante who snatched it out of the air deftly. "How'd you do that? I can sense demonic energy…but you two don't look like demons."

"That's because we're half demons. Our father was a demon but our mother was a human," Vergil answered.

The answer made Vaggie forget her rage and the winged demon to quickly turn around. Charlie's jaw dropped. Never have they heard of a half-demon, let alone the story of a demon mating with a human. It sounded almost blasphemous, even for a demon. Then again, that was the only logical explanation on how they survived so long in hell without raising any unwanted attention.

"If you're demons, then you can transform, can you?" Vaggie asked.

"You mean like this?" Dante asked in return and snapped his finger. His entire body changed in a burst of energy into an almost reptilian-looking being with skin made almost entirely of stone that looked like he had lava running in him. With another snap, he reverted back to his human form.

"Whoa…" was all the three employees present managed to blurt.

"Well, that explains how he was beating those lowlifes back at Sheol Street," Vaggie said.

"Okay, we've definitely seen a lot in one day," Charlie remarked. "And Dante, I want to personally thank you for saving Angel Dust."

"Think nothing of it, princess. I just happened to be there," Dante said with a dismissive wave.

"And Vergil, I'm glad you could stay with us. I know you two aren't here to rehabilitate, but the least I could do is provide you both a place to stay for the time being."

"That is much appreciated."

"Look," Vaggie interjected. "As much as we welcome you to stay at the hotel, I hope you two understand that this isn't a free meal of sorts."

"And you need our help in return? I can certainly see that," Dante said. He gave the place a once-over. "I'm not into clean-up duty, but hey, it's something to do at least."

"That wasn't exactly what I'm thinking, but I'm glad you understand my point," Vaggie said.

Charlie sighed sadly. "I hate to impose this one you two, but the hotel needs help. Has my dad told you why I wanted to open this hotel?"

Vergil sat down on a chair and leaned his sword against the wall. "We only know that you wanted to rehabilitate demons," he said with a rather subtle scoff.

"That's half of it, let me tell you rest over dinner. For now, I'll show you two your room."

The room they were given was quite modest even if it was a little bit dusty. The housekeeper, Niffty, took only a few minutes to change the sheets, fixed the lights, vacuum and mop up the whole room, unclog the toilet, change the flowers, and emptying the cupboard of cockroaches in a single breath. All this while, she was being rather flirty with Dante and Vergil and only stopped when her task was complete, after which she went back to the kitchen to finish cooking dinner. The beds were separated thankfully, but they were so beautifully designed that even the bedsheets had golden silk sewn into diamond-like patterns.

Dante had taken the bed by the window while Vergil took the one by the heater. Both had their own wall sockets for use and a bowl of mints which Dante just handed Vergil all of it. They did not have much luggage with them anyway so there was nothing to really unpack. The window offered an unobstructed view of the sky along with the moon with a giant pentagram on it and a white celestial orb that was much farther away. Lucifer said that it was heaven, but the brothers found it odd that heaven appeared as a planet rather than a different plane of existence. It was almost implying that one could build rockets to bombard heaven.

Other than that, it had a very nice view of the street too, not that there was anything nice to see. Random killings on the street and people getting thrown from tall buildings seem to be the norm, and drivers do not seem to hesitate to run over any demon that had gotten in their way even after they had survived a fall. Some demons advertised sexual services openly while others are advertised on billboards. A society of demons that lived like humans bearing their most primal desires. If Dante had not ended up here, he would not have believed it at all. This was rather contrary to the demons he was used to.

"How do you like the view?" Charlie asked with a smile.

"Too many…stuff going on for my liking. Other than that, I like the sky, I guess. Could use a little less red," replied Dante.

"Yeah, it's hell after all. All these vices, I hope to put a stop to them and give demons a second chance to enter heaven," Charlie said meekly.

"Tell me one thing if you don't mind, Charlotte," Vergil said and got her attention. "Do you believe it possible?"

With that, her expression steeled with determination. "I know what you're thinking, that it's impossible to redeem demons. But I know that deep down, they have good buried in them. They just need to find it in themselves to bring it out again," she said while putting a hand on her chest. Her shoulder drooped and she joined Dante by the window. Looking up at heaven, she said, "Even the evilest of parents can love their children, and that's good, right? If they're capable of love, why not the rest of us?"

"Hm, point taken," Vergil said softly, but Dante did not think he was convinced.

"I'd sing something about it, but I don't think I've got anything in mind right now," Charlie chuckled while wiping away a tear.

The brothers looked at each other and shrugged. At that moment, they heard their room door open. A spider demon pushed open the door, his hair was unkempt and his eyes half-closed as he just woke from his sleep. He had a mug in his hand with the word 'Valentino' written on it.

"Charlie, did you –"

"Oh, hey there Angel, let me introduce you to –"

Charlie paused when she noticed Angel's half open mouth and wide eyes. Dante cocked his head while Vergil raised an eyebrow as they waited for him to say something. However, Angel closed his mouth, let his hand go of the doorknob, and quickly backed away.

"Dante and Vergil," Charlie concluded with a confused look.

"What was that all about?" Dante asked.

Before Charlie could answer, Angel returned to the room again, this time his hair combed prim and proper and his eyes bore a mischievous shine. His chest was fluffed up to resemble boobs. He leaned against the door frame, and while his eyes were half open still, it was for a different reason.

"Well, how rude of me," he said in a sultry voice. "I didn't know we're expecting guests."

"Rrright," said a dumfounded Charlie. "Anyway, this is Dante and the other one is Vergil."

Angel walked up towards Dante and pushed Charlie aside. Thankfully, Vergil was there to help keep her balance. "So, you're the one who saved me back at that alleyway," he purred. "I guess I never got to thank you properly."

"It's the least I could do, Angel," Dante said while trying to suppress the urge to take a step back. His brother, on the other hand, was visibly smiling at his predicament.

"I'm guessing you're not here for rehabilitation?" Angel asked while tracing his finger slowly down Dante's chest.

"Nope, just a guest from a different hell."

"You should tell me more about how they sin in this 'other' hell, but I doubt anyone can top me. I know you can though."

"Aren't you supposed to be under rehabilitation?" Dante asked.

Angel wrapped his arms around Dante's hand retrieved the rose in his shirt pocket. "Trying to, keyword here is 'try', babe."

"Well, I'm hungry, anybody wanna grab a bite?" Dante directed the question straight at Charlie.

"Um, oh yes, dinner! Let's go down and have dinner!" she exclaimed awkwardly and left the room in a jog. Her footsteps became fainter and fainter as she went down the hallway until they could not hear it anymore.

Angel let go Dante but did not take his eyes off him. The smell of perfume was rather apparent now but it was subtle enough that it would not overpower his sense of smell. Vergil became the centre of Angel's attention next but he did not cling onto him as he did Dante. However, he did size him up and grinned.

"Old-fashioned, but good-looking too. I've always got room for three," Angel winked.

"I'll pass," Vergil said while holding up a hand.

"Eh, your loss," the spider demon said with a shrug. Turning to Dante, he blew him a kiss and said, "See you at dinner, hot stuff."

After Angel left their room, Vergil started to laugh while Dante let out a breath he was unconsciously holding for quite a while. "Yeah, laugh it up bro, I'll make sure he'll come for you next," said Dante while flexing his shoulders.

"On the bright side, Dante, at least you've got an obvious admirer. Even if he's a guy."

"I need a cold bath," he muttered.

Dinner was surprisingly wholesome that night. Each had a plate of beef wellington courtesy of the Magne family with a serving of jambalaya cooked by Niffty under Alastor's instructions. Charlie had also ordered pineapple pizza along with ice cream sundae. Cabbage stew and spinach puffs were provided as well, and there was a large serving of a 'welcome' chocolate cake with Dante and Vergil's names written on it. Stuffed chicken sat alongside a pot of egg fried rice with tomato sauce.

Charlie had invited the brothers to sit on her right her while Angel (unsurprisingly) sat beside Dante, his eyes fluttering at him while Dante tried his best to ignore him. Vaggie, Alastor, Husk, and Niffty sat on Charlie's left. Vaggie was teasing Angel about his obsession with Dante until the spider demon mentioned something that made her throw a fork at him. Angel was ready to dodge but Dante was quick to catch the fork between two fingers. He spun it around and tossed it back at the fuming manager. Husk was still piss drunk and had a bottle of cheap wine in his hand this time. Fortunately for him, nobody was putting any attention on him.

Vergil, on the other hand, had actually found Alastor a welcome change of pace around the place. He learnt that Alastor was a fan of classical works and both spent time discussing poetry and philosophy. It was enlightening but it was also to none of Vergil's surprise that the deer demon was rather well-versed with meta-ethics. Niffty had joined in with Dante's conversation, looking in awe as he described his adventures from a place called Temen-Ni-Gru to the felling of the Qliphoth Tree. A couple of times, he even summoned his sword to emphasise a point.

It was exactly 7 p.m. when Charlie stood up and took a spoon to tap on her wine glass. Everyone stopped their conversations and turned their attention to her.

"Good evening everyone, first of all, I would like you all to welcome our guests Dante and Vergil to the Happy Hotel!" There were claps of different tempo ranging from Niffty's rapid fire claps to Husk's slow and irregular ones. Once they stopped, she continued. "I think most of us know this by now but they're not exactly demons…well, not full demons. Anyway, whatever they are and whoever they are, we won't judge and we'll treat them like how we others usually."

"Does that mean I can have Dante for the night? You said to treat them like how we treat others," Angel said with a sly grin.

"Not like that, you horndog," Vaggie retorted. "She means treat them nicely like proper guests."

"Baby, that's basically what I do," Angel shot back with a finger gun and a wink.

Vaggie glowered at him but said nothing so that Charlie could continue. The demon princess pretended to clear her throat and continued. "I suppose I owe you two an explanation about why I opened this hotel," she said while taking her seat.

All eyes were on her, but her attention was given to the brothers instead. Vaggie pursed her lips and muttered to herself. "She's gonna sing again, isn't she?"

Blitzo let out a sneeze, then another one followed by a third. For a moment, he thought he was coming down with a cold, but he was feeling fine the entire day so that could not be it. His eyes widened when he realised something, and he quickly hid under his desk. Moxxie raised an eyebrow when he entered his office and saw him peeping out from under the desk.

"Uh, sir, what're you doing?" Moxxie asked in a disinterested tone.

"Moxxieeeee," Blitzo whispered loudly. "I think someone's talking about me."

"What?"

"I heard from an Asian demon that if you sneeze three times, someone's talking about you," Blitzo said, this time a bit louder.

His employee rolled his eyes. "Sir, that's just bullshit. I think the fact is that you didn't clean your office," Moxxie explained while checking the pile of chalk dust in the garbage bin. "Besides, three times means that someone's fallen in love with you. Probably Stolas if it's true."

Blitzo shuddered and retracted further into the darkness of the desk. Moxxie sighed and left the office with the filled bin, not wanting to deal with his boss's eccentricities. He would ask Loona to dump the contents into a garbage chute outside, but she would probably dump it on him instead for making her look away from phone. He heard Blitzo sneeze twice before he exited the room and made a mental note to clean the office at some point.

While he was outside, he felt a chill in the air. It was odd because it was not even close to winter season yet. His breath became visible suddenly and the surrounding noise seemed to have dulled and muffled as if he was submerged underwater. His breaths quickened as a feeling of panic began to set in, but he swallowed it down and pulled out a pistol from his coat. Unbeknownst to him, there was a creature slowly climbing down the wall quietly towards him. Fortunately, he managed to look up in time and yelped in horror. His face paled and his heart fired like a machine gun. The creature swung its claws at him in an attempt to lop his head off but Moxxie rolled away in time.

The ugly thing had what looked like a head composed of three human face with large mandibles in front like that of an ant. In fact, the overall body structure looked like an ant with glowing red eyes. There were wings on its back but they seemed far too small to carry a body of its size. It was about to leap at him when the imp let off three well-placed shots through the head. The creature crumpled onto the floor with its body dissolving away into ash while leaving behind curious-looking red orbs. The office door opened and out came Blitzo, Loona, and Millie.

"Moxxie, what in tarnations just happened?!" he heard Millie's voice but was unable to respond to her.

"Yeah, what in heaven were you doing, Mox?! Those bullets cost a lot of money!" Blitzo exclaimed. "And what the fuck are those things?" has asked while pointing at the pile of red-coloured orbs.

Moxxie could not answer although his breath had slowed down and colour started returning to his face. His wife's touch had a calming effect on him but he could not take his mind off of mental image of the creature. There was nothing in hell that looked as grotesque as that ant-thing that attacked him, and he was not even sure where it came from. He also noticed that the air had warmed and normal temperatures had returned along with the sounds.

Loona picked one of the orbs up and sniffed it. She growled and quickly dropped it on the ground. "Fuck this, it's trash. I'm gonna go get a drink." The hellhound left the premise and went to a nearby shop to get some beer.

"There's…ant…thing," Moxxie muttered.

Blitzo sighed explosively. "Another ant problem? We just called the exterminator a few days ago."

"Honey, what'd you see?" Millie asked softly while directing his head towards her.

"It's…uh…it's…nothing important. I just hallucinated," Moxxie lied.

He knew his wife would not buy it, but his boss certainly did. Thankfully, all he gave was an earful about 'negligent discharge' and about how the fired bullets were coming out of his pay. It did not matter anyway; he just hoped that it was only a one-off incident.

Well, what a coincidence. I was hoping to add a little bit of Helluva Boss in this chapter and the new episode came out. In the future, I definitely would be giving Dante some new Angel/Devil Arms. I quite enjoyed writing this one cos I was looking forward to writing that interaction between Angel and Dante :)