You can thank my procrastination skills for this little guy. I'm actually supposed to be writing my paper for English tonight. Looks like that isn't happening. Enjoy!

A lot of cursing in this one, sorry

WE'VE HIT 100 REVIEWS and I also felt the need to celebrate that. It's the big things in life.

5. Paper- Donnie assigns a paper to see what everyone has learned about first aid, and because its supported by Splinter, they have to do it.

"... Any questions?" From his standing point at the desk he'd dragged out, Donnie looked around the dojo at his brothers in annoyance and slight irritation masked by interest in the fact of whether or not any of his siblings/pupils had anything to ask or add.

Leo was sitting up in his meditation position, and despite the attentive expression on his face, Donnie suspected he had actually begun to meditate ten minutes in to his lesson.

But at least Leo had the decency to try and pay attention. Mikey's snoring got loud enough at one point that Donnie had to talk over him.

And Raph? He wasn't even pretending to pay attention. Sure, he's the one that elbowed Mikey awake when the snoring became too much, but other than that, he was looking around the room, picking at his fingers, and doodling on the note paper.

Leo seemed to break out of his trance as Donnie asked his last question.

"I think that's it, Don. Thank you for teaching the lesson."

Donnie resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sure, Leo.

Raph took his head off the hand he was resting it on. "Yeah, Don. Real inspirational."

He shook Mikey awake next to him. Mikey's hands flailed a bit as he blurted out, "But I don't wanna sing 'Big Rock Candy Mountain.'" Raph shook his head at him and turned back to Donnie.

"Really, it was a great lesson." He stood up slowly and stretched his arms above his head. "Let's do it again sometime."

Leo stood slowly in the same manner and gave a nod to Donnie as he helped Mikey get up from his sitting nap. Donnie sighed, exasperated.

"You know, I really should make you all write a paper or something to show you were paying attention."

Leo stopped in his tracks for a second, his face stricken before it was replaced with a placating smile. "You really don't have to do that, Don. Really. The lesson was enough."

"Oh really?" Donnie crossed his arms. "What's the correct procedure for a bone density test?"

Leo's plastered smile seemed to become a bit strained. "Uh. It's a test for bone density, so you have to, like, hit one? and hear the sound? and it tells you if it's dense or not."

Donnie stopped himself from face-palming. "No, Leo. The standard test uses a low dose X-ray to detect signs of bone thinning and mineral loss. Were you even listening?"

Leo was about to answer when Splinter seemed to materialize at his side. "Donatello, I think a paper would be a wonderful idea." He turned to Leo. "Leonardo, I expect you to listen to your brother when he tries to teach you something. Go tell your brothers they have homework."

Both Leo and Donnie bowed politely. "Yes, Sensei." Leo glanced down at Mikey, who had fallen asleep again, and nudged him with his foot. Mikey grabbed on to like it was a teddy bear, smiling in his sleep.

Splinter bowed back to his sons and shuffled back to his room.

Leo gave his foot a few test-tugs, but it was firmly in Mikey's grasp. Donnie only shrugged and walked away when his brother looked to him for help. Leo sighed and sat down so his foot wouldn't bend at an awkward angle. He was going to be there a while.

...

When Mikey finally woke up, Donnie told Raph and Mikey about the paper he was going to have them write. They laughed for a second before he told them Splinter assigned it.

"It's due in a couple days, I don't expect you to write a paper in one night. However, I do expect it to be finished by... Oh, let's say Friday. That gives you four days. I'd get started now, if I were you." He was about to leave the kitchen when Raph spoke up.

"Wait, four days? How many words does it gotta be?"

"Uh," Donnie waved his hand a bit. "300 at the least?"

Mikey and Raph stared at each other with wide eyes before switching to Donnie.

"Dude, that's impossible!"

"How are we supposed to write all that?"

"You didn't even teach us anything!"

"If you think I'm actually doin' this, you've got some screws loose!"

Their protests were cut off by the sharp sound of a staff on the floor. Splinter walked forward and made a motion for Don to leave.

He turned to his sons. "You will write this paper. And you will write it exactly how Donatello wants it to be written."

"But-"

"No buts. If you fail to meet Donatello's expectations, you will be grounded to the lair for a week."

"Yes, Master Splinter." They spoke in unison.

Splinter nodded his head. "Good."

...

Day one- Mikey and Raph were playing video games. None too quietly, either.

"Hey- get off my guy! I'm about to hit first place!"

"Over my dead body! I'm getting that virtual trophy!"

"Ha! As if you had the skills- Hey! Stop!"

"You stop!"

"No, you stop!"

"You first!"

"No, you- Hey!"

"Ha ha, I win!"

"Why you little-"

Day two- Raph squares off against Leo while Mikey and Donnie watch from afar.

"Have you written the paper yet, Mikey?"

"Uhhh..."

"I'll take that as a no."

Day three- Leo is finished, Mikey and Raph decide to go topside.

"That was fun."

"Yeah. Nice jump over that building, bro."

"Told you I could do it."

"Never doubted you."

"Okay. Night, bro."

"Night."

Raph closed his door and headed for his sleeping pills. It was late, but he'd just come back from a workout. Don said he needed to have a 'properly regulated sleep schedule,' whatever that truly meant. The guy stayed up past five a.m. on his computer almost every night.

Raph shrugged a shoulder at the thought and tossed back the pills, swallowing them effectively.

Just as he was getting into his hammock, a hurried knock came from his door.

Raph opened it, growling. Mikey stepped back, hands up in a surrendering motion.

"Hey, hey! I just wanted to see how your essay was going and if I could borrow some notes."

Raph blinked. "Essay..."

Mikey blinked back. "It's due tomorrow morning, in like, three hours?"

Raph's eyes widened and he slammed the door in Mike's face.

He paced around the room and grabbed the shabby laptop Donnie had made for him years ago.

That was the last thing he remembered when he woke up in the morning. He shuffled the papers together, bleary-eyed.

Raph glanced at the time on his clock and realized he was late for training, already having slept through breakfast.

He shoved the papers into Donnie's hands first thing as he entered the dojo. He squared off against a practice dummy as Mikey and Leo sparred on the center mats. Donnie sat in the corner, reading Leo's over-the-top five page paper.

He nodded at Leo's analysis. Pretty good, it had everything he needed.

Mikey's was a bit forced, and it seemed he didn't know what he was talking about.

Raph... What... What?

"Uh, Raph?"

"Yeah, whaddya want?"

"Could you, uh, show me what you're trying to say here?"

Oh boy.

Raph inwardly cringed and walked over to where Don was, coming to sit down in front of him.

Donnie had this strange pinched look on his face when he handed Raph his paper.

Raph dragged his eyes across the page. It was making sense, sure there were some misspellings, but-

Oh. OH.

Raph's Paper Title

There may not be a lot of time between the point of where the bone is first broken to the point of when it should be set to heal properly.

First things firts if you have a broke bone youre in deeeeep shit. that shit hurts like a mofo and if u think ur just gonna walk outta that situation all fine and dandy woooowweeee ddo you gotta nother thing comin.

If its a open bone thing tas really not good. mmmmmmmmmmilkshak etime

The thing is yu gotta get the real bone thing to line up with the other real bone thing thing and then you can put the bam thing around it so it stays like the fuckin thing should which is like the staright shit a bone outta be. And if it aint a straight bone thas not good ts shitty.

If ya gotta cut thats a whiole different piece of shit. you gotta wrap it with a clean shit cloth and dammit all to hell if you dont gotta clean shit cloth cos that shit gon get infected as fuck.

Now some peeps are gonna say some stupid shit like 'wait do you know about the shit wth sprains?

And I'm gonna say somthin like ya what the fuck is up with that

And then I'm gonna stun your ass with knowledge on strains and sprains and fractures and shit

im tiresd sso taking break now thansk

anesthetic is the most imposrtat part o fixing bones since that is thge maot painfiul part of ficing it up

the sentednev doenst coepydhe teh frist thijnbg i wasnt iiuyt too dammit

emberceyyyyyyy canteiclum in hisptlwedioooookoooooooo'

dont sjudt su bald eberyging is connectd idnclysdeinfg thdnsg pajdyer hsaedh iethd adi tehaweepiudisb chabde id evewisjrfb

ILLUMINAHTIgoat-headshaped star formatoion in Lady Gasga music viosda. she may not nev a leadser but shedd coulds be padtr of the rEallilluminatu.. theyre all fUCKINGsatdbnists includung ghe poppe becasue jge chalolicc chuch os jusgt derieiverd froikm padganism which ud is is freoim the= ==befoire whuich wasd shiitAND theys keopo tehir demosn inteh pentadgon PENTASGDGOM behciaouse iuts shapsedlikdePENTASOGNDAMMIT

GOAt hewsassd aew illlllunminatoi saymoby; fier everyojen an shit...

I knotheis is wht theright FUCKINGonesiwasthe the dhr tnwais alike lew siu tneed tiisp the

/?.

dsfgthytujkikgh njMkj. j,/ as?ku WE45JIq#W2ruir84385o jUQWHK Q$ ? $Q#KL

th emf

The sensible writing turned into what looked like a conspiracy ramble. The original topic was practically gone and curse words were thrown left and right.

"What I just want to know," started Don, "Is how you managed to spell the 'F' word correctly no matter what."

Raph offered a nervous smile. "Heh. You know me, I'm dedicated."

Don face-palmed.

"Uh, I don't suppose you want me to explain?"

Donnie stood and started pacing in front of his brother. "I just don't understand how you managed to go from different forms of broken bones to the entire Illuminati conspiracy, which apparently includes Lady Gaga, to becoming so completely incoherent that I can't tell one word from the other unless its a curse word!"

Raph put the paper down. "Yeah, I don't really know where that came from, I don't even like conspiracies-"

"Just," Don held up his hands. "No. I can't- I don't even- Leo, Mikey, you pass. Raph, I'm framing this, first off, and second off, you can join me in my lab every day this week and watch what I do."

Raph nodded. "Okay, okay. Wait, you're framing it? Why?"

Don's demeanor broke into a strange smile and he laughed. "Are you kidding me? This is gold. It's never leaving my side and I'm showing everyone."

Raph groaned. "Am I grounded?"

Donnie tapped his chin. "Well, you did manage 300 words. They were gibberish words, but still words."

"Thanks Don."

"I can't wait for Casey to see this."

Raph's head hit the wall.

Donnie clapped his hands together once. "Class dismissed!"