True to his word; Jim had kept in contact daily. It was not the type of contact that led to conversation however; as the time between his responses varied from minutes to hours in reply to Spocks' messages. He was fully aware that they were both leading busy lives and that there was no cause for concern, feelings of neglect or any insult intended. It was simply that Jim was too busy to have a proper conversation during daylight hours. He would receive 'updates' for lack of a better word on how James' day was going.

'Hot out here! You must love this weather? Was it this warm on Vulcan?'

'OMG, someone has tied a cadet to a flagpole. I wish they could adopt a more logical approach to life. *wink*'

'You're a really good kisser. You know that right? Well, you are!'

From the mundane mentions to what they were having for lunch to the interesting topics of federation wars and diplomacy; Spock found himself eagerly awaiting each message. When the first week passed and they did not see each other he buried himself in his work. A security breach at a genetics research lab had occurred two nights previously and Spock was aware that if he did not patch the leak that thousands of beings DNA and personal information could fall in to the wrong hands. This task had kept him occupied on the nights where he knew Jim would be fast asleep and so life seemed to pass by much as it did before except now he felt a sense of hope that perhaps - and almost selfishly so - that his life could involve more than just being a father.

Perhaps he could be a friend. A lover? Perhaps he could even one day dare to call himself someone's husband again. While he would never give up his title of father, a responsibility that he has come to love and cherish, he longed for a sense of belonging on a personal level. This is not something that he had ever hoped to find on Vulcan, his mother being the only accepting and comforting creature on the planet, so this chance with Jim was one he would not let go of lightly.

On the eighth morning since they had last seen one another it was an unusually crisp morning for the middle of summer and a slight sprinkling of rain had started to fall around his shoulders as he walked his daughter to school. Being prepared for such an event, he quickly unfolded his umbrella and gathered his daughter closer to his side so that they may both be covered and protected. And there, across the street, as the hustle and bustle of hover cars and pedestrians parted, he saw Jim. An astonishing urge to wade through traffic and grab onto this embodiment of hope assaulted all his senses until his daughters tugging on his sleeve brought him back to Earth.

''Its Jim, Father. Look!''

He watched as James ran his fingers through his hair, the rain having wet it enough that it clung to his forehead and Spock raised a hand in the Taal, his feet dragging him automatically forward without his consent. The bell rang signalling the start of school and the cacophony of screaming and excitable children dumbed down to whisper. With much regret he forced himself to look away from James and attend to his daughter.

''Learn as much as you can. Be kind to those who don't understand and respect your elders Daughter.''

''Of course. I will see you at precisely two in the afternoon Father.''

''Indeed.''

He bade her farewell and watched with affection as her schoolmates surrounded her and they began conversing animatedly about the day ahead. He was deeply thrilled that his daughter had so many friends and found himself grateful that he could spare her his lonely school years. As soon as she disappeared from his view he turned with blinding speed towards James' last known location and was subsequently crushed when he no longer saw him standing there.

Resigned to the fact that this was the way it had to be for the foreseeable future, he gave his umbrella a shake and turned in the direction of the Library.

''Spock!''

Approximately two seconds later James had grabbed onto his hand holding the umbrella and pulling him forward, pressed his warm lips against Spocks.

Whatever qualms Spock may have had over public displays of affection were lost in the rain as the umbrella came down lower over their heads and the slickness of a tongue entered his mouth, an impassioned arm wrapping around his waist. He returned the kiss as deeply and as filled with want and urgency as he could show in those brief seconds their lips locked - but all too soon he was once again surrounded by space.

James steps back and out from the shelter of the umbrella and the pitter-patter of the rain on his leather jacket rolls down his sleeve in small patterned waves.

''I miss you. Isn't that ridiculous?!'' His laughter was muffled by the rain which had increased in its intensity but his words penetrated through Spock as if though they had been spoken straight into his ear. ''I mean… I barely know you. But you're all I can think about. You are the first person I want to see in the morning and the minute I know I have to go to sleep… there you are again! I don't get it and I don't care. I thought you should know.''

He can say nothing…do nothing in the face of this blatant adoration so instead he did what he has been trained not to do for most of his life.

He smiles.

It is wide and it is happy and the creases around his eyes deepen with the ever soaring feelings in his chest at having James confess to experiencing and returning his emotions.

''I do not seek to understand it James. It is what it is. I too, share your sentiments. I miss you as well.''

''So we're on the same page then, yeah?''

''Yes.''

''I have to go Spock.''

''I know.''

''I just came to drop David off at school and… Gods, it's good to see you.'' His smile is still fixed in place and James gives another nervous laugh, the same sweeping back of his hair movement before he shoves his hands into his jeans pockets and shakes his head; a cheeky grin plastered across his mouth as he sways back and forth on his heels.

''I'll see you soon.''

Nodding his head in agreement Spock stands still and watches James walk away. The saunter and sway of his hips momentarily sending a shudder of lust through him before finally he comes back to his senses with the last glimpse of James as he turns a corner.

Two days passed and as he sent his daughter off to school, he found himself closing his eyes and counting to three as soon as she had entered the building. He did this mostly to calm himself but also because he foolishly wished that when he opened his eyes James would be standing in front of him again. Today would be another day he had to taste the bitterness of disappointment. Resolving to reach the Library earlier than intended - he fell into a fast paced walk and calculated the best routes to take through the many alleys and side streets. His communicator blared to life in his pocket and reaching down to his hip to remove it from its holder he was curious as to whom the caller might be.

''This is Spock. Please identify yourself and your purpose for calling.''

''Jesus, you really are a Vulcan. I mean, I had my doubts as I can't see why a Vulcan would want anything to do with huma-''

''Please identify yourself or I will terminate this call.''

''Hold ya horses there. My name is Leonard McCoy. ''

''I am unfamiliar with your name Sir. Please state the purpose of your call.''

''Well you impatient, green-blood elf - I wanted to know what voodoo you were using on Jim to turn him into a 12 year old schoolgirl that squeals sporadically throughout the night whenever he says your name!''

''Are you whom James refers to as 'Bones'?''

''Yeah, that's me.''

A most unpleasant man Spock concludes but he is intrigued nonetheless.

''Is James in good health?'' a slither of fear assails him but he pushes it aside.

''The kid is fine. You didn't answer my question. I know you're capable of mind melds and other hijinks and I want to know – as Jims best friend and as a Doctor –''

''I have not coerced or manipulated James Kirk in any way. It is however none of your business what two consenting adults do inside the borders of their own relationship…'- 'Now ya just wait one goddamn minu'- 'However, because he speaks fondly of you and considers you as family I will do my best to keep you updated on those things which I do not deem overly personal.''

''Hmph.''

''Are you in agreement Dr McCoy?''

''We need to meet.''

''For what purpose?''

''Bloody hell man! Could you just meet me on second street next to the Romanov Café in an hour?''

''I will be there.''

''Good.''

The line disconnects and a vein in his forehead pulses in annoyance at the intrusion but for the good of his relationship with Jim – he would attend and be as accommodating as possible.

But insults would not be tolerated.

Determined to reach the park where he first met James well before the allotted time he and the Doctor were supposed to meet; he sent a short message to his colleague explaining his delay and that he would return to work as soon as he was able. He was fortunately allowed to work at his own pace and the two hours lost today he could easily make up in the small hours of the night. Mentally preparing himself for what would no doubt be a fascinating yet taxing morning he set off at a determined pace.

Being ten minutes early, Spock surveyed the calm and quiet of the park. As the children were all in school – the only noise came from the swing set that squeaked in the breeze from a rusty chain. The rain had all but ceased and Spock placed the umbrella next to his feet as he seated himself on the same bench where he first encountered James. However, peace is never meant to last and with the suddenness of a tornado, the bench shook and Spock felt his posterior slightly lift off the seat and a weary, white coated man slumped in the space next to him, legs out stretched and yawning loudly.

''Hi Spock.''

He quirks a brow at the informal greeting but lets it pass.

''Doctor McCoy.''

To his surprise the Doctor attempts the Taal but somehow can't quite manage the finger placement but the effort is nonetheless appreciated.

''Look, I know we are both busy guys, so I wanted to do this now while I had the chance.''

''I am listening.'' As the Doctor yawns again Spock takes a moment to observe the human beside him.

Leonard's coat is crinkled and creased and there is a suspicious yellow stain near his collar which Spock surmises could be anything from mustard to an unknown substance that he did not wish to identify. The doctor clearly had not shaved in several days as a brown-grayish beard and moustache had formed and ah… it was indeed mustard as he espied the corner of the man's lips smudged yellow. He looked – simply put - exhausted. Hair dishevelled and borderline purple marks beneath his eyes that carried the look of long nights and stress.

''I know I look like shit – I've just come off a 72 hour shift at MedGen. We had an outbreak of Demeanus Pox in our children's ward and I've delivered nine babies from four different species – so you'll have to forgive me for not dressing up for this occasion. ''

''I do not believe I have mentioned or commented on the way you look Dr Mc-''

''You don't have to. I can see it in your eyes. Anyway, do you love Jim?''

The abruptness of his question as well as the rapid change of topic causes his mouth to fall open and an influx of indignant incredulity and annoyance to pass through him at the invasion of his privacy. Somehow logic prevailed and over-rode his immediate urge to tell the man that this discussion was now over. Taking a deep breath he looks the Doctor in the eyes, the hazel hue dimmed from fatigue and makes a conscious decision to be honest.

''I do not know.''

''Well… that's a better answer than I expected.''

''Clarify, if you would please.''

''If you had told me that you love the kid I would have considered you both mad and given your relationship at best three-to-four months before it fizzled out.''

He yawns again and folds his arms across his chest while craning his neck to look up at the sky. ''Because you have told me that you don't know – I'm thinking that at least you are clever enough not to label it so soon, that you won't rush headlong into a relationship.''

''I have no plans to 'rush' as you say, into anything. There are important factors to consider such as compatibility and the welfare of our children in the long run.''

''I'm happy to hear you say that Spock, because Jim has given up and lost so much throughout his life and I would hate for this… thing … between you two – to be another thing that he will take years to recover from.''

''I will not deny that there is something that draws me to James, Dr Mcoy. He is the single most unique individual I have had the good fortune to meet. I will not rush into a relationship but nor will I shy away from the chance to engage in one with him. ''

''I see.''

''You wished to speak to me regarding my relationship with James. We have done so. Is there anything else you would like to discuss while the opportunity is here to do so?''

''God, you're gonna be a lot of fun for the rest of my life.'' The doctors' eye roll is extreme and Spock ignores his irritation once more before standing. ''Sit back down. There are a few things I need to tell you about Jim.''

''I do not believe it is your place to divulge that information and I would prefer to hear the details from James.''

''I'm not breaching no confidentiality agreements if you're asking. I am a doctor, I know my oaths. No, this is purely because I care about the kid and about David. I have looked after them for years and they are my family.''

''Very well.'' Spock takes his seat again and clasps his hands in his lap as he waits for the Doctor to enlighten him.

''Jim, you can't give up your ship! You've worked so hard for this. All those years in the academy, all those tests and bar fights and that damn Kobiyashi Maru! The fleet would lose one of its most talented Captains it's ever seen!'' A long-suffering sigh leaves him and he tries to the best of his ability to tune out the outraged ranting of Christopher Pike.

He has made his decision. It's final. Finite. Bam. The end. Nothing anyone can say or has tried to say over the last month has penetrated his resolve or shaken his determination. The link that David has formed with him is partly to blame for him being in this situation but he is relatively sure that even without it he would have seriously considered giving up his career in space in order to raise the kid.

He knew what it was like to be abandoned, to find love and security only for it to be ripped away – time and time again and he would be damned if he forced this little boy into some of the things he had to endure.

Not that famines that kill four thousand people through the words of a lunatic happen often, mind you - but everything else that came after that – well, he shuddered as his memories came flooding in, unwelcome and tasting of acid.

''Jim, are you even listening to me?'' Pike gives a bit of growl and Jim throws him back a sheepish smile.

''Chris, all you need to do is implement a day care facility on board my ship. Something detachable that can be secured and jettisoned in the event of battle or catastrophe. It's a small thing… really.''

''If we redesigned your ship, gave in to your utterly ludicrous demands of turning our most prized ship and the best one in the fleet, into some sort of domesticated family love boat, well I would have to resign here and now. There's no way this would fly with the higher ups.''

''Why not though. I'm asking for two teachers, a paediatrician and an experienced child minder. Obviously enterprise would have to go through a small refit to add the classroom and I would be happy to help with the engineering designs of the detachable parts- ''

''You're not getting it Jim! If we give you what you want, next thing we know there are ripples and uproars throughout the entirety of Starfleet where everyone with a child will demand that they come aboard and be provided for. The cost alone would be astronomical and it could turn into the biggest PR nightmare of the century!''

''So it's settled then. I'm resigning my Captaincy. I'll move out to Cisco and teach, raise my kid, maybe meet someone special and live happily ever after.''

''I know you Jim. You thirst for adventure, you love the thrill of those first moments before battle, you love being tested and pushed to your limits. Your genius knows no bounds and if you do this… you will stagnate. You will come to resent the boy. '' '

'No, I think that from now on my adventures will just be a little different, the battles I fight will change from the threat of casualties to having to take someone's toys away if they misbehave. I will be tested, I will lose patience and have to think of alternative ways to live my life. I will never resent anyone who has reached out to me for love.''

The silence settles over them both like a smothering blanket and Jim clears his throat awkwardly. ''I have to do this Chris. I'll still be in 'fleet. I can still rise through the ranks if I want to… but right now… David needs me.'' '

'David, huh?'' a chuckle leaves Pike. ''Good name.''

''I thought so.'' A wry grin forms on his mouth and Pike sighs.

'' I'll get the paperwork going and write my letter of recommendation. God help the kids who get taught by you! They won't know what hit them.''

With a final wink the screen turns black and Jim immediately relaxes back into his chair. He had so much to think about and yet his mind kept running over three things.

The kid. His career.

And Uhura.

To think that he had spent the better part of a year chasing after her, flirting with her, annoying the holy shit out of her… and finally proving to her that he was a man of substance and good enough to date... and here he had to leave her because he knew – without a shadow of a doubt- that she would not follow after him.

Uhura loved kids. She wanted them. But just not now. She was the best communications officer in the fleet and one day she would be a fearsome admiral that was merciful as well as diabolically dangerous.

If there was one woman he would never want to cross it would be her.

They have been seeing each other just shy of nine months. It was comfortable. The sex was fantastic, the conversations between them even better… and yet that spark that makes one person the sole reason of living for the other – was missing in this instance.

He did love her – it was a comfortable love.

A familiar love that would continue with some effort so long as he chose to make it. He glances into the corner of the room at the cradle where David is currently turning his sleeve into a sopping, saliva-soaked piece of cloth and wanders over to inspect his little man.

''Well… maybe one day we will find a parent for you. A mommy or a daddy.'' He winks at the boy who simply stares at him in confusion. David reaches up towards him and he automatically bends down to let the boy touch his face.

He feels Davids' amusement and chuckles heartily before scooping him up into his arms.

''Do you like ….aeroplane? I wonder.'' He turns the boy over onto his tummy and lays him over his arms and begins shuffling across the carpet. Arms out stretched - David begins to fly across the room whilst Jim gives his best impersonation of what an aeroplane might sound like. Jim immediately stops when he notices how Davids' arms and legs have gone ramrod stiff and quickly turns him over and lifts him up so that they are face to face.

He will forever be thankful that he had waited that one second extra before opening his mouth as a torrent of what can only be termed as projectile vomiting covers his face, his neck and splatters across his shoes in the timespan of a blink.

''Clean up on aisle four!''

Jim is disgusted.

But he laughs anyway.

A thorough scrubbing and shower later, Jim having changed his clothes as well as Davids' – he makes his way with the boy in tow on his hip– down to Medbay.

''Bones… the kid painted my shoes white.'' Kirk whines and hears a snort in response.

''Come again?'' was the reply from the other side of a curtain drawn in front of a bio-bed.

''Like… I have seen some gnarly sh- I mean things in my life, but man I gotta tell you this one shocked me to my core.'' He pulls back the curtain and to his amusement finds Bones lying down on the bed book in hand.

''Any chance you can watch him for five while I go speak to Uhura… we, uh… have a few things to sort out before ..you know…'' '

'Sure, but you know he screams bloody murder the moment anyone else touches him.'' Bones clambers off the bed and reaches out to take him and David instantaneously begins to wail like a banshee.

''See. I told you.'' Bones harrumphs as he takes the kid into his arms but David squirms and struggles and reaches back towards him.

''Wait. I want to try something.'' Kirk mutters as he takes hold of the boys hand and presses it to his cheek.

As hard as he can he thinks of all the trust and love and admiration that he has for Bones. The feelings of safety knowing his good doctor would be there to patch him up and pick him up on his darker days. He tries to send all of this through to David and slowly but surely the boy stops crying. He sniffs and the snot bubbles are ridiculously cute and David has turned into Bones' arms and while still clearly disgruntled by the whole situation - is more tolerant of being held by someone other than Jim.

''What the hell did you do and how?'' Bones asks and Jim shakes his head.

''I just… let him in on a few things. He should be ok now. But I wouldn't let anyone else try to touch him.'' Jim kisses the top of Davids head and waves at Bones on his way out the door.

''Bloody hoodoo voodoo is what it is, kid.''

'Come in!''

The door swishes open and the familiar scents of lavender and jasmine reach him before he sees her. She is sitting in front of the mirror, her floor length pale blue nightgown hanging from thin strips on her bare shoulders and the movement of her combing her hair makes the fabric rustle. She is beautiful. He walks up behind her and envelops her in a hug. She brings her hands up to place them over his own and brings one up to kiss the palm of his hand. There are no words that could lessen the blow and there was no need for tears or feeble attempts at coercion.

''I suppose it's time.'' '

'Yeah… I suppose it is.''

They stare at one another through the reflection of the mirror and small smiles appear as they continue to watch each other.

''We had a good run didn't we?'' she hums into the back of his hand and he nods, bending down to place a kiss on her hair.

''We did. And if you if ever find yourself down on Earth, needing a place, some help or just a someone … I hope you'll think of me.''

Her eyes are watery but Uhura never the less smiles brightly up at him. ''I'll be sure to look you up Captain.''

One last kiss is shared between them, it is lingering and soft and chaste. James gives her shoulder a final squeeze before heading for the door and as much as it pains him – he doesn't look back. It would do neither of them any good to prolong this breakup and if any tears are to be shed it would be best to do them alone and behind closed doors. He has come a long way since meeting her in the bar but at that moment he felt like he needed to punch a few more people.

He had no right to feel like it was unfair – having made all these decisions himself – but he felt like it was unfair regardless. Greeting the few folks on night shift as he roamed up and down his ship; he was surprised to discover that an hour had passed and he quickly turned around and headed back to Medbay – sudden guilt flaring at leaving David alone for so long.

Waving at Christine who quickly put a finger in front of her mouth in the universal 'be quiet' sign, he tread lightly to the curtained biobed and peered behind it. Bones and David had obviously embarked on a reading adventure but both had failed their quest; seeing as how though they were both snoring and had equal amounts of drool forming around the corners of their mouths.

Retrieving his communicator he activated the camera function and swore to himself that he would use this as blackmail to get away with eating as much chocolate as he wanted for the foreseeable future.

Feeling the sting of tiredness behind his eyes he contemplated returning to his quarters but not wanting to wake the two sleeping beauties he instead made himself comfortable on the vacant biobed beside them. Closing his eyes he heard the faint sounds of snoring from his best friend and his son.

Everything would be okay.

He hoped.

As it turned out – leaving it all behind was a hell of a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. The last few weeks on the bridge was filled with raucous laughter and prank pulling, the atmosphere bitter-sweet as he did his best to spend time with each member of his crew one by one. He challenged Sulu to a fencing duel and just about the entire crew turned up to watch the match. He won the first round much to Sulus shock and exclamations of 'oh my's' around the gym – as well as the curse words that he hoped his son wouldn't mimic later on.

In the end after a gruelling three matches – he lost spectacularly and Sulu was lifted in the air and twirled by many hands wanting to congratulate him and James slipped away from the crowd with a sad smile on his face.

For Chekov, well inside the teens quarters was a makeshift bar of sorts and it was the place to be. An hour in and Kirk was seeing double from the concoctions of 'Russian made' Vodka and a liqueur that he was positive was illegal to be in possession of in Federation Space. The gang had gathered round a table and an intense poker game had begun the moment he had walked through the door. Slightly addled and deliriously drunk – Bones helped him to his quarters and he fell face down on the bed –oblivious to world around him and down three hundred credits.

His Science and First officer Samuels had extended an invitation to a meal and Kirk was grateful that he could spend one night where nothing overly exciting would happen and where David could sit on the floor near the table and play with the blocks he had gifted him two days before. Having briefly discussed ships business about who would take over from Jim once he left – A Captain Decker – he changed subjects to literature instead – knowing that Samuels was an avid history buff and for the next hour was regaled with fanciful stories of Rome of Old.

By some unspoken agreement he and Uhura had decided to not spend any time together just in case they fell into old habits or worse yet – back into bed with one another.

On the final day of his Captaincy, James sat in his Captains chair and ran his hand down the arm, the feel, the power, the familiarity of the controls and he was eternally grateful that his crew kept their eyes forward as he put his head in his hand – a single tear escaping before he hurriedly wiped it away. He would have to give up so much – but he was certain that he would gain so much more, in so many ways, that what he gave up would no longer matter in a years' time.

Plus – Bones was coming with him.

He gave his last orders and initiated docking procedures. He walked calmly over to the turbolift and upon turning inside – his bridge crew stood and faced him. With a final salute and a wink straight after the doors closed ; he left his ship for good within the next hour- a small Romulan boy clinging around his neck and an elated Doctor who hated Space to begin with – standing behind him whistling a country tune.

''Spock… if you intend to get into a relationship with Jim… I would like to ask you that when you do – you add to his life. You make it better. There are things that have happened to Jim and things that he has been forced to endure that no child or adult should.''

''I see.''

He has much to think about from the little that Dr McCoy has divulged and it only added to his conviction that James was a good, responsible man who would do anything and everything for those that he loved.

''Doctor McCoy, I thank you for the information and will take what you have said seriously. I have not seen James in several days and unfortunately our communication has been intermittent and regularly interrupted – but I do indeed - plan to see him again at his earliest convenience.''

''Good. Also one more thing. Jim and I come as a package. For as long as he needs me in his life I will be there. You got a problem with that you come to me okay?''

''I … I am gratified for your presence in his life and should it become a hindrance to our relationship I will be sure to make my opinions known to you.''

''Humph. That should be interesting.'' He suddenly stands and starts to dust off imaginary dust and gives a long big sniff before stretching his arms above his head and dropping them wearily back down to his sides again.

''I've gotta get going. See you around Spock.'' Before Spock could even bid his goodbyes the man had started walking away.

A most peculiar human being. Well intentioned obviously, naturally caring - but his personality would be an acquired taste. He did not know if they would become friends but he illogically hoped so as it would benefit them all if that were to be the case. Deciding to centre himself and reflect on McCoys words – one thing immediately popped into his head.

James was bisexual.

Not a concern in the slightest since he had bonded with a female and produced a child but…

But that somewhere out there …

Was a woman he loved and had to leave behind.

He cursed and damned his insecurities – remnants of T'Prings betrayal resurfacing and decided that for now – he would ignore her existence as it made no logical sense to concern oneself over something that could potentially not even come to pass. He was due to meet James in three days for their trip to the aquarium with the children and his soul sang as the excitement of their next encounter bubbled beneath the surface.

For now he would continue to wait… even if it was with impatience.