Levi indulgently let Eren pick the place for their 'date' since he was technically the one who had asked Levi out. Eren chose a very nice restaurant in the north of Shiganshina and drove them there in the Civic.

"Was Hange OK with watching Mikasa?"

"Always. I swear they love that kid like their own."

"You know, you could always just marry Hange."

Levi immediately made a face. "Oh, ew, no! That would be too fucking weird!"

Eren laughed.

"Besides, I couldn't break Moblit's heart like that."

"Moblit? Their research assistant? Why would he care?"

"He's head over heels in love with them is why. Has been for a while. Hange has absolutely no idea."

Their interactions at Levi's house sprang to Eren's mind, how gentle and considerate Moblit had been with Hange. He could see it. "Is he OK with them being non-binary?"

"Moblit honestly doesn't give a single fuck whether Hans has a dick or a pussy, he just likes them." Levi's face softened as he gazed out at the road, "It's beautiful, really."

Eren ran his hand idly around the curve of his steering wheel and stared fondly at Levi's face, contemplative in the low light of the inside of the car. "You two met at Sina, right? Were you in class together like we are?"

"Nah, I had a work study job with the school to clean the science building and they were always slaving away late in their lab, making a huge fucking mess."

"You were a janitor?"

"Custodian, thank you very much."

"I can totally see you doing that job, no lie. You must have enjoyed it, you weirdo."

"Hey!"

"Well you have to admit you're a bit of a clean freak."

"Maybe just a tad …" Levi looked down at his hands. "It stems from when I was growing up, I think."

Eren cocked his head. "Growing up?"

"Ask me later. After I've had a few drinks."

Levi was absolutely certain beyond the shadow of a doubt that Eren had carefully picked the clothes he was wearing that night. They weren't fancy or anything but the fabric of the trousers was as thin as paper and they were so tight that Levi wondered how the kid could breathe. Walking from the car Levi couldn't help but focus on Eren's plump ass in those trousers.

The restaurant wasn't five stars or anything but it was nice enough to make Levi uncomfortable. "I wish I had something better to wear," he muttered as they followed the hostess through the tables to their seats.

"Don't worry about it. You look totally hot." He bumped Levi's shoulder with his own. "Sexydad sweater vest,' he whispered.

A small smile tugged at the corners of Levi's mouth.

The hostess gave them their menus and glided off. Levi immediately opened his and sucked in an alarmed breath. "Jesus, Eren! Did you know it was this expensive? You know, we can leave …"

Eren grinned. "It's fine. I knew. Order what you want."

Levi was aghast. "Eren, I'm not sure—"

"I am. I even spoke to my dad specifically about it," he said, his grin turning cocky.

"Your dad knows you're taking me out …"

Eren's smile faded. "Well, he knows I'm taking someone out."

Levi sat back and sighed, closing the menu. "He thinks you're taking some girl out."

Eren shrugged helplessly. "I didn't correct him."

"Eren …"

"I know, I know, but he's still really weird about 'the gay thing' as he calls it."

"So he knows you're gay?"

"Yes! I told my parents last summer."

Levi opened the menu again slowly. "Baby steps, I guess."

"Yeah!"

The waiter came and they ordered their food.

"Can I get you some drinks while you wait? Or you can go to the bar."

"Jack and Coke," Levi said immediately, "make it a double"

"Pitcher of Bud, too," Eren added.

The drinks came swiftly much to their relief. It gave them both something to do with their hands.

"So," Eren said, tracing the condensation on his glass, "when did you come out to your mom?"

"Never. My mom died when I was five. My uncle Kenny—her brother—raised me, although I'm using the word 'raised' in a strictly shitty sense."

"Fuck. I'm sorry. That sucks."

"Yes, yes it did." Levi dragged one finger around the rim of his highball glass. "He was into some … shit … that I didn't want to be a part of but I had no choice for a while."

"Like what? If you don't mind my asking."

"Bad shit. Robbery, extortion, drugs, prostitution."

"Fuck, Levi!"

"Yeah."

He raked the fingers of his free hand through his hair. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure." Eren fiddled with his napkin. The conversation was not going as well as he had hoped. "Uh, have you ever been in love?"

"Oh, yeah. Once with a girl, once with a guy."

"What happened?"

"The girl, Nifa, she died. Car crash."

"Shit."

"Drunk driver. It sucked. The guy was just a cheating, lying fuckhead. He was off while I was at work letting whatever rando he'd just met fuck him."

"I'm sorry. Jesus, I'm really sucking at the whole conversation thing tonight."

"Not really. It is what it is. You didn't know." Levi took a long drink of his bourbon, draining the glass. He looked around for the waiter. "What about you?"

"Been in love?" Eren hesitated then, for a long moment, eying Levi. "No … never."

Levi had located their waiter. He held up his glass and shook it. The ice cubes rattled musically.

"What was your major at Sina?"

"Same. Early Childhood Education."

"What made you want to be a teacher?"

Levi shrugged. "I like kids."

"I like your kid." Eren said and sipped his beer.

He could tell that Levi was appreciative of that remark. "She's a good kid," he said. "So you think you'll be head of a hospital one day?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure," Eren said. "I've not really thought about much past graduation." He picked up his fork and absently lifted the edge of his napkin with it. "I guess that sounds naive."

"Nah, not at all. You should concentrate on getting good grades first."

Eren looked a little guilty at that.

The waiter swept by and deposited another double bourbon in front of Levi

"The kitchen is hopping tonight! Your food should be out shortly."

"Thank you,' Eren said.

They lapsed into an awkward silence for a while, both just drinking and fidgeting and looking around the restaurant.

"Here you gentlemen go!"

Both men sat up a bit. Their waiter had brought their food; steak and baked potato for Eren and baked chicken for Levi and they started off eating in silence.

"This is very good," Levi said suddenly. "Thank you for this."

Eren's chest felt warm. "You are very welcome. I'm glad you're enjoying it." Eren poked at his potato. "So what kind of music do you like?"

"Tibetan goat horns."

Eren's mouth dropped open. "What?"

"I'm just yankin' your chain. I like all kinds except rap and country." He took a bite of steamed broccoli, chewed, and swallowed. Eren admired his Adam's apple moving smoothly under the pale skin of his throat.

"My turn to ask a question," Levi said. He seemed looser after the alcohol.

"Shoot."

"Where did you get those flowers you sent me?"

"The Happy Flower Shop in Trost."

"You are hereby and in future forbidden from buying flowers from any place other than my store."

"It's not 'your' store," Eren laughed.

"Fine, the store in which I work. The flowers themselves were gorgeous, the arrangement looked like the person had just Googled 'flower arranging.' No artistry."

"Duly noted. How's your injury, by the way?"

"Fine. It's still a little tender but it's good."

Eren looked down at his plate, poking at his unfortunate potato again. He appeared to have run out of conversational gambits.

Levi, ever the social butterfly, had no idea what to do. He picked up his bourbon, brought it to his lips and drained the glass. He looked around for their waiter again.

Jesus christ this was going badly. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just talk to the kid?

Where the fuck was their waiter?

"Is everything OK?"

Levi actually startled. He had been so absorbed in his own thoughts.

"Yeah, why?"

"You're … uh, drinking a lot."

Levi looked stupidly down at the glass in his hand. Was he?

"I'm kinda nervous. I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable."

"No! No … I'm OK. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright."

Levi took a deep breath. He had to just say it.

"Eren …"

Eren sat up straighter. "Yes?"

"Look, I have something … I want to … shit. This is hard, but we're supposed to be talking about this."

Eren thought he knew what 'this' was. "Just say it. I'm a big boy."

Levi stared at him. "I'm a fucker, Eren."

"What? You're not!"

"I understand why you would fucking hate me, OK?"

"I don't hate you …"

"You should! You should hate me … GOD I'm so fucking bad at this!"

"Levi …"

"You … you want a relationship and I'm just not dating … anymore. Never again. I just can't take the hurt." He picked up his empty glass, put it back down. "But I have to say something."

Eren looked attentively at him. Totally focussed. Levi looked down at his hands, clenched on the table.

"I like you. I don't want to, but I like you. I don't want to date anyone but I want to be with you. I don't know how to do all that other stuff, like talk or flirt. I just wanna be with you and it's gonna bite me in the ass and I know it so I can't do it." He stopped and stared at Eren.

"And that makes me a bastard."