I HAVE BIG NEWS. BIGGG NEWS

THIS STORY THING WAS NOMINATED IN THE TMNT READER'S CHOICE AWARDS

FOR BEST CANON FICTION

AND

FUNNIEST COMEDY

ITS AN HONOR TO EVEN GET NOMINATED

I AM SO SOSOSOSO HAPPY BC I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THE BEST WRITERS WERE NOMINATED Y'KNOW? SO THE FACT THAT THIS HAPPENED IS JUST SO HJBSJSHDDV

OKAY SORRY FOR THE RANT THING IM SUPER HAPPY

turtle-nerd12- THANK YOU I always try to make people laugh

Starfire201- Lolll of course not, not after he has evidence from the first mishap

SilverFox22- Thank you so much, I always thought that chapter was difficult to understand but you got it :')

lizzybudd- Did I capture the teacher-y attitude? lol. Also i just want to say thank you bc you've been here since the beggining and your reviews really help keep me going

Flamestar12345- thank you so muchhh

OKAY CHAPPIE TIME (im still really happy)(also this one is based on the song kryptonite in case you wanted to know or something)

...

7. Kryptonite- Raph is going crazy. Mikey is left to pick up the pieces. "Am I still the hero you thought I was?"

It had been five years since Shredder took over. Five years since Don and Leo died. Five years since Raph pulled Mikey from the dust and rubble of the collapsed building, and he'd woken up to a hyperventilating brother on the sidewalk.

It had been five years since they lost everything.

They'd been living at the farmhouse for four years now- just Mike and Raph. April and Casey helped out in the first three years- heck, they'd stayed at their apartment for that first year- but now they only came around occasionally. It wasn't out of anything malicious, of course; they'd stopped showing up so often on Mikey's request.

It was getting harder for him to care for his brother, especially in the past eight months.

Mikey didn't blame him for any of it- not the flashbacks, or panic attacks, or even the uncontrollable violent outbursts- he couldn't.

He was still Raph. Raphie... He was still himself, sometimes. Always buried, coming out at random times.

But the worst of it was when Raph didn't remember. When Raph asked what was for breakfast and if Leo was already up and ready for a sparring match, or when he'd open Mike's door and tell him "Go to sleep, Don," or when he'd tell Mikey not to bother him because he and Leo were back at it again.

Mikey didn't have the heart to tell him. Not at first. But after a particularly rough day of doing his best to keep Raph from hurting anyone and himself, Mikey had snapped.

He'd told him how they'd been captured, how Splinter had his head ripped off his shoulders in front of them, how his blood had stained their bodies. About how they were kept in a little cell where they were tortured night and day, and how Raph himself would have gone blind if the blade had cut just a few millimeters to the left.

He'd told his brother all about how Shredder had stabbed Donnie through the stomach and that it'd taken hours for him to finally bleed out and how his screaming had echoed through their cell, and how his body wasn't removed for weeks. About how Leo was practically skinned alive and how he was forced to drink his own blood to keep that same fate from his remaining brothers, and that he'd died coughing up blood, begging Shredder to leave them alone. About how Shredder found no more use for them after they'd given up hope, them uncaring of any injury he'd hit them with.

How he'd blown up the building to kill them.

How Raph's last real sane moment was spent watching his brothers die.

After the screaming stopped, Mikey never told him the truth again when Raph didn't remember.

He'd heard enough screaming to last him the rest of his life, and then some.

Mikey missed everything about their old life. He reminisced a lot, thinking about the past and old happy memories. It was never enough to make him smile.

Nothing was enough. Not anymore.

He was currently sitting on the edge of the bathtub, nursing a new cut above his eye. He didn't blame Raph, he never could. Shell, if he could go crazy and not remember a thing, he would.

He frowned at himself for thinking that. One of them had to stay in this reality. It was his responsibility.

Raph was probably sleeping. Mikey knew he'd hear him if he were awake. These days, he was much louder. In the first year, he'd just kind of been a blank slate. When the outbursts started occurring, April and Casey agreed that the farmhouse would be best.

Then the panic attacks came, and Mikey figured out how to take care of Raph. Then the flashbacks started getting longer and more upsetting, which of course brought on more panic attacks.

And then...

Mikey winced as an ice cube shifted inside his makeshift washcloth ice pack.

And then came the violent outbursts. Raph would get stuck in a flashback, and Mikey guessed his brother would see everything that moved as an enemy or something, and he'd just go after it.

He pulled the pack away to stare at the red splotch that now stained the white. He was creating quite the collection of stained washcloths. He had no idea how the rest of his face looked, but if the unnatural coloring on his arms was anything to go by...

Mikey sighed as he got up and unlocked the door. The upstairs bathroom was the one room in the house where Raph wouldn't go. Mikey could guess why.

He made his way downstairs as quietly as possible, avoiding the steps he knew had creaks. If Raph was asleep, Mikey wanted it to stay that way.

He stopped in his tracks when he found Raph on the couch. He wasn't sleeping at all; he was staring at his hands. But that didn't make sense, these days Raph was always yelling when he was-

Mikey gasped, eyes going wide.

Raphael had looked at him. No, not just looked, he'd seen.

Mikey realized he was holding his breath. It had been a while since Raphael had come out. The real Raphael.

He cleared his throat. "Hey buddy." He moved to sit in the chair next to the couch. "How you doin'?"

Raphael frowned and reached a hand toward Mikey's face. He flinched on accident, and Raph sighed and brought his hand back to rest on his knee.

"I'm real sorry. I-I don't know why I do it, I just-"

"It's okay." Mikey smiled at him. "It's okay, really." He never could blame Raph.

They sat in silence for what felt like hours. Mikey realized he didn't know what to say. All that time, waiting for the real Raph to come back, and he couldn't hold a simple conversation. Finally, Raph broke the silence.

"Do you... do you remember... when we were little, and we'd always play that one game? The one where we'd pretend that one of us had been captured or something by someone else, and then two of us would have to rescue..." He trailed off, shaking his head.

Mikey put a hand out, quickly reassuring. "No, no, yeah I remember, a team of two against one and we had to rescue whoever was captured."

Raph smiled a bit at him. "Yeah, that one. And we always made you the captured one... and Leo would hold off Don while I had to carry you back to our base."

Mikey nodded, and allowed himself a small smile at the memory. It was easier, he decided, to smile at memories when it was someone else bringing them up.

Raph gave a small laugh that sounded more like an exhale. "You'd always hug me and tell me I was your 'hero' while I tried to get you offa' me."

Mikey smiled more and closed his eyes. "Yeah. Leo always kicked Don's shell, but only 'cause he couldn't carry me like you could."

Raph nodded. "You'd call me Superman."

Mikey's smile faded slowly. "Yeah. I would."

Raphael gripped his knees tighter. "Am I... still the hero you thought I was?"

His eyes snapped up to Raph's face. His expression was pinched, eyes closed. Almost like he was bracing for impact.

Mikey's throat choked back every word he tried to form. Finally, "Yeah. You are."

Raph's eyes opened, and met Mikey's. He swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Mikey attempted a smile. It didn't work out.

"You saved my life, and we're family. I love you, brother. You'll always be my hero." Is what he wanted to say.

It came out as "It's okay."

He held Raph as he cried.

Mikey never could blame Raph. He'd like to think it was because he was his brother and he loved him.

But the truth was, he never could blame Raph because Raph never could blame him.