Special thanks to Softlikethesunset12 and DivergentPanda46 for pre-reading this for me

I really really appreciate beta help from Norbert'sMom and the final suggestions of Mega-AuLover, you two were life savers

The support and encouragement by Firelord65 and Michaela18 was very very vital too, thank you ladies :D

I loved the edit, its by queen-of-everlark on tumblr. 😍

And finally, thanking myself for writing this lol.

Birthday Wishlist Prompts used: Roommates+jealousy+pining+fluff+best friends to lovers+modern day AU+I love you more than coffee+I want no one but you, end of story.

Katniss POV

I hear a knock and roll my eyes.

"You can come in Peeta, it's not like you haven't seen my room before," I yell, not bothering to hide the box of ice-cream I have been eating from. He peeps in and eyes the box then meets my eyes and gulps.

Closing the door behind him, he plops down on the couch beside me and snatches my spoon. I scowl as he takes a big bite out of MY ice-cream.

"Jeez, don't look at me like that, woman. You're the one who got voted as the world's most beautiful woman two years in a row, not me," he grins cockily. "I am not the one who needs to watch his figure." He finishes and I want to smack that smirk off his handsome face. Ughh, I shouldn't think this way.

"How was your day at the bakery?" I ask and he shrugs.

"How was the shooting? When's your latest song and music video coming up?" he asks and I know he's genuinely interested.

I tell him all I can about the day I had with Finnick Odair who kept making me laugh and ruining the filming.

"Sounds…nice," he says, looking down.

"C'mon roomie," I nudge him affectionately, "tell Katniss what's bothering you."

His ears and cheeks turn red and I fight the urge to swoon. Why is this man so damn hot?

"Uh, you remember the book you got a letter about? The one that asked to use yours and your sister's names as character names?" he asks, fidgeting.

I nod.

"It came out, the first one of the trilogy anyway…not that you'd be interested…just telling in case you want to check it out."

"What's it called?" I ask, curious that my roommate turned best friend is talking about books. It's weird because I haven't seen him read anything for entertainment.

"It's called Hunger Games," he tells me and I motion for him to continue. "It's a sci-fi set in a dystopian world where the government makes twenty four kids fight until one remains."

I don't see the appeal but it must be good if it caught Peeta's eye. Peeta has a talent for finding amazing things.

"The author, um, I know them personally and I was gonna ask you if yours and Prim's names can be used for the other two books the author wants to write too," he asks nervously and I smile and nod.

After Peeta leaves the house again, I do some research and I find out this author that Peeta knows personally is named Suzanne Collins, clearly a woman. How personally does he know her? I grit my teeth and close my eyes, trying to calm my breathing. Is my best friend keeping things from me now? Who is this woman to him? I try to shake my head to get rid of inappropriate thoughts about Peeta and Suzanne.

I don't even know why I am so upset. I have known Peeta for five years now and we have been roommates for four of those.

He was with me throughout everything, he was my rock. I remember the day I met him.

I was seventeen when my mother died. We had to sell the house and furniture for less than they were worth to cover the funeral expenses and hospital bills my depressed and drug addicted mother left behind. My sister and I were officially homeless.

We stayed in the house as long as we could. The day the new owner was moving in, I decided to say my final goodbye to the house where all of my childhood memories were made.

I tried to leave before the new owner arrived, but I ended up hugging Prim and breaking down near the door of what was no longer my house.

The door opened, and a blond young man stepped inside. Our eyes met and I tried to get up and make a run for it but I couldn't. And there we sat, me, Prim and blondie, hugging and sobbing.

He let us stay in our old rooms in his new house. "It's too big for me anyway and now I'll have some company. I don't like being lonely," he had said.

I wanted to refuse but had to accept in order to keep a roof over Prim's head.

A week later, CPS took my twelve year old sister away, citing I was just seventeen myself and had no source of employment.

I lost everything that day, but gained a friend, Peeta.

He made me stay and forced me to finish high school. He didn't let me have a job, and told me to concentrate on my GPA. He was only twenty two but his job at the bakery provided him enough to take care of both of us easily.

Each day, I was drowning in guilt. I owed him a lot. And I had to get my little sister back as soon as I turned eighteen. I didn't want her to be given to someone who wouldn't take care of her.

So after some more weeks of moping, I decided to do something I promised I'd never do after I lost my dad. I decided to sing, for Prim and for Peeta.

He supported me and was my biggest fan when I started landing small gigs at clubs and parties. He was there when I got recognized for my talent and got hired.

He was my best friend and knew things way before I did.

He had told me that my decision to date my manager, Cray, was a bad idea and he didn't like how possessive the guy was. Peeta obviously didn't want me, himself, so I ignored him. I thought he was trying to act like a dad; mine was dead. So I did what I wanted and dated Cray.

Cray made all these promises how he could make me a big star, but I had to move in with him to the Capitol. I did start to become famous, but should've trusted Peeta, because he was right.

"You don't get it, do you, Katniss? I don't like you talking with that loser! He's just after your money!" Cray had yelled and I tried to get him to understand that Peeta was my best friend, he wouldn't do that.

That's when I realized the mistake I made. Cray was the one who was after my money, and I was stuck with him. I had no friends in the Capitol; my colleagues all knew Cray well before I came along. I was away from Peeta, and Prim was still in foster care. I had no one…

It was hard after that, to show up to the recording studio. I wasn't making any progress. Cray would just yell and tell me to get it together.

It took a few months but Peeta figured it out after I called him one day.

He paid a shit ton of money to get an urgent flight to the Capitol and drove straight to the studio to pick me up.

My Healer

He was the reason why Cray was fired when everyone saw the reality of what happened to their newest singer behind closed doors.

He brought me back home where I stayed with him and didn't show my face to anyone but him. It took a toll on my blooming singing career but after that year, Peeta's loving care and endless amount of therapy sessions -that Peeta suggested, I rose again.

This time, I became a model for a small firm and then rose rapidly. I became famous for being a natural beauty and earned more and more money. More firms were trying to talk me into modeling for them.

I finally had enough to adopt my sister and I did. Then I worked harder, got recognized for who I was and got back into singing and producing music again.

My Confidant

Peeta was always there for me. I confided in him about everything, my insecurities of being a good enough parent to Prim, my doubt of self-worth, my fears of becoming famous and losing myself in the process.

He was always there to sooth my worries with his sense of humor and baking skills. He supported my decision to star and produce my own music videos. He cheered me on and gave me the confidence I needed to start dancing and singing in public. He was always there. Always.

My love.

I don't remember exactly when I fell in love with Peeta Mellark but I guess it was around the time he saved me from Cray. I found out Peeta was abused by his mother which was how Peeta knew Cray would have those tendencies as well. He warned me and got me out before things got too bad.

Everyone told me how lucky I was to have Peeta in my life, and I admit I was.

I was lucky when he helped me and wouldn't let me pay him back. I was lucky when he became my friend and biggest supporter. I was lucky when he saved me from Cray. And I was lucky to have his attention and have a chance of loving the incredible human that was Peeta Mellark. Even if he didn't love me back.

I thought it'd be enough to love him from afar, though I could never love him the way he deserved and by the time I came to the conclusion that I was ready to let him know of how I felt, it was too late. I was voted the world's most beautiful woman at age twenty and he started drawing away from me.

So when did Peeta get into books and science fiction to be exact? Why didn't I know? Why does he fidget when he talks to me and why did his sarcasm suddenly become self-deprecating?

I don't know the answer to all of those questions and I dare not ask Peeta. He promised that fame wouldn't drive a wedge between us, but it seems it did.

I screw my eyes shut, trying to keep the tears in but end up breaking down in sobs.

Prim is at college, Peeta is god knows where and once again, I am all alone.

Peeta POV

Calm down, Mellark, it's not like a hotshot model-singer-dancer combo like Katniss would be interested in your not-so-famous ass.

I sigh and flag the bartender for another drink. Why am I even upset? Oh yea, she told me how she spent her day with Finnick Odair, the so-called Poseidon, who will be co-starring in her latest music video. That's not the problem, the thing that's bothering me is that I shouldn't ever feel like that for her, but I am a jealous as fuck prick who's going batshit crazy at the thought of her dancing intimately with a fuckin hot man, who's not me!

It's not like she's even interested either. I have tried to show her I want something more but either I am not good at giving signals or she's kindly ignoring them to not hurt my feelings.

I sigh loudly again and someone snickers beside me. I look sideways and nearly gasp. Speak of the devil.

Finnick Odair grins at me and calls the bartender.

"So... whatcha sighin so dramatically 'bout?" he asks in that ridiculous accent of his and I frown.

"None of your business," I reply snootily. It feels good to be mean for once.

"Must be a girl," he says with a grin, as if I'll tell him. But I do.

He listens patiently and when I am done, he says three words.

"You're an idiot."

"Gee, thanks. Didn't I know that?" I ask, pissed.

"No," Finnick puts his hand up to signal that I should stop talking. "Man you got it wrong. What I am sayin' is that, you had the girl around for four years in total, two years, she wasn't even popular and you never tried?" he says, exasperated.

"That's exactly what I keep asking myself," I tell him, running my fingers through my hair.

"Tell you what, you can do some big romantic gesture for her," he says, excited and my ears perk up.

"What can I even do? She's popular, goddamn gorgeous, has the most enchanting voice and she. THINKS. OF. ME. AS A BEST FRIEND ONLY!" I end up whisper-shouting and he raises an eyebrow at me.

"How about, I smuggle you backstage when she's live and when she's about to get off-stage after she finishes her set, you get on stage, confess your feelings and kiss her in front of the audience," he says.

I admit it's a great idea if Katniss were into that kind of thing. She's not though. She appreciates the small gestures. Besides, I just lose all thoughts when I see her face. I could never pull it off.

"Man I am getting turned on by just talking 'bout it," he smirks and I punch his shoulder.

"She's not much of a romantic," I admit and he guffaws.

"If any woman has been single as long as she has been, hasn't hooked up, and has a guy best friend then sure, she wouldn't like it," he says casually, pays his tab and walks away.

It's ten minutes after he's gone that I realize he never asked me her name. How the fuck would he let me backstage?

Frustrated, I kick the base of the bar and yelp in pain. I try to pay my tab, but Finnick paid it for me. I stumble home half drunk wondering how to tell Katniss that I love her.

The music video of 'Looking at me' comes out and it doesn't help my jealousy to see Katniss wearing a see through glittery top, her very visible black bra, with high waisted shorts and thigh high boots as she dances erotically around with Finnick to the sultry sound of her own singing.

I especially fly out of my seat when she and Finnick are close enough to kiss at one point. I knew I liked the song when it first came out but seeing Katniss wearing it in that music video with Finnick put a damper on my good mood and sucked out my confidence.

I ended up drinking a lot and embarrassing myself in front of Katniss. Good thing I was too drunk to make any sense to her, but she looked pissed and I wonder what I said exactly.

I didn't see her in the morning but found water and some Advil at my side table. Hot shower didn't fix shit and I am nervously waiting for her to come back so I can apologize to her.

My phone vibrates and I check who decided to text me right now and groan.

Primmy: Did you two do the deed yet?

Me: What does that mean?

Of course I know the modern slang for sex but I have to double check to make sure that Katniss' younger sister is asking me if I slept with her.

Prim: The sexual tension between you two is so high I can barely breathe when you're in the same room!

Me: Bye, Prim, good luck with your studies.

And then I turn off my phone and throw it at my bed.

I bake some cheesebuns for Katniss to pass time but when she's not back by twelve, I start freaking out. She's never this late on weekdays.

I wait and wait and close my eyes.

The door knob jiggles and I open my eyes to check the time. Holy shit! I slept for two fucking hours and Katniss isn't home yet.

More jiggling and I roll my eyes at the similarity to the horror movies Katniss loves to watch.

And then the door flies open and a weary Katniss rushes in, stopping at the sight of me sitting on the ground.

"Peeta," she breathes and rushes up to me, hugging so hard I can barely breathe. She pulls back and we're so close that I can feel her soft breath on my face.

She moves a little closer and then…

SMACK!

I hold my face and glare at her but her tear-streaked face has me worried.

"Katniss," I don't know what to say. On one hand, I am worried about her state and on the other, I am confused.

"Why weren't you answering your fucking phone?" She yells and I smack my forehead. Damn! I forgot to turn it on again.

She examines my face and then kisses me. It's not sweet or passionate like I imagined but aggressive all teeth and tongue as she strokes my face.

Kissing her back with the same aggression is seemingly the right choice as the kiss slows and turns sweet but she pulls away and kisses my nose.

"I was so worried, Peeta. You were shitfaced last night and I didn't want to leave you but I had to go. I called you a million times. I know I am exaggerating but, you never answered and I was so scared that something happened to you. And I didn't know...and...you," her voice breaks, "I...didn't know…" she trails off.

"What didn't I know?" I prod and she sniffles.

"That I, I," she pauses and then speaks again. "Love you much more than coffee. I mean I drink coffee to wake me up every day but coffee doesn't help me when I have a bad day. Coffee doesn't make me cheesebuns. Coffee doesn't make me feel all warm and gooey and ready to melt into a pile of mush. Coffee doesn't make me dream of itself and coffee certainly doesn't love me enough to confess it while puking its guts out." She covers her mouth and goes red.

"Wait, what?" I ask, sitting straighter and feeling a little proud at the sight of her swollen red lips.

"Youtoldmeyouhavelovedmeforalongtimewhileyouwerethrowinguplastnight," she rushes out and I have no idea what she just said.

"Slower," I beg. "Say it slowly."

"You were drunk as a skunk last night and you got sick. So I was rubbing your back when you told me…"

"Told you what?" I asked, my heart pounding in my chest. Hoping that I hadn't said something stupid.

"That you have been in love with me for quite a few years. That you regret wasting time and not telling me how you felt," she tells me with a shy smile.

"And what did you think when I said that all?" I ask her, wishing she would reciprocate the feelings I've had since I first laid eyes on her.

"I didn't want to believe you at first but you were so drunk that it reminded me of the saying 'drunk words are sober thoughts.' I have been in love with you for some years too and I..," she stops speaking and looks down, biting her lip as colour rushes to her cheeks. "I want to give this a try, Peeta. We've wasted so much time just loving each other from afar. I think it's time we do something for ourselves now, don't you think?" she asks and I nod enthusiastically.

Laughing, she climbs in my lap and kisses me again, lovingly this time and I don't hesitate to kiss her back.

"Finnick said what?" she guffaws when I tell her about what Finnick had planned.

We have been talking about everything now that the truth is out and it turns out, we didn't know each other as well as we thought.

"He said you'd like it," I grin and she laughs harder.

"That asshole. Did you know he knew you were talking about me?" She asks and I shake my head.

"He teases me about you all the time. He made crude jokes and he made fun of me calling me 'an innocent tomato' when I ran out of the room," she tells me with a smirk.

Innocent or not, to me she's perfect!

"Um, Peeta, I kinda lied to you about my feelings," she fidgets and I feel myself deflate.

"I don't love you more than coffee. I love you more than coffee, and cheesebuns AND hot chocolate. What I am trying to say is, I love you more than anything in the world, fame, money, food and everything and everyone except Prim, ha-ha because yea, we all know I love her a lot too and…please ignore me I am rambling," she flushes and starts picking at her skirt.

"Baby?" I try and she looks at me from under her long lashes and I open my arms. And that's how we spend hours until her stomach grumbles and we have to get up for breakfast.

"Peeta?" I hum and she continues, "Whose Suzanne Collins?"

My face flushes beet red and I decide to tell her the truth.

"It's, ah, me ha-ha. The photo of the woman online is just a stock photo. I needed to use a pseudonym to hide my identity. I just wanted to write a book to cope with my crush on you. I decided to write about the graphic dystopian related dreams I had been getting. But I didn't know how it'd go so…" I rub the back of my neck as she rolls around, laughing.

We laugh some more at my attempt at concealing the book's author's name and we spend the night talking, with me mostly telling her what I have planned for the second book and her listening intently until we both fall asleep.