Chapter eleven

He didn't think much about what he was doing, he was letting desire and need take over. He deepened the kiss, his hands threading through her hair, keeping her captive while he delved inside, kissing her until she moaned and trembled, clinging to him like he was her lifeline. Fuck, he needed to come clean and tell her the unspeakable things he'd done, but he didn't want to.

Yes they were married, but their marriage was fake, and it could blow up in her face any time, she thought, leaving her alone and vulnerable. There was no way she was making the same mistake as her mother, knocked up and with nowhere to turn. Or worse still, with him staying married to her not because of love but out of a sense of obligation.

Yet she was unable to will herself to peel her lips away from his.

Right then, the fire smoke went off, the magic of the moment rudely interrupted. They both stepped away from each other, startled.

Ana instinctively reached for the pot, and in her haste, she accidentally bumped her thumb against the hot pan. She withdrew her hand, grimacing in pain.

"Mierda! (Shit)," she cried out, feeling incredibly stupid for completely forgetting about the rice. Admittedly, having Christian there had been a major distraction.

Christian rushed to run cold water over her burned hand. After about a minute, he lifted her hand out of the water to inspect it. Her thumb looked red and sore. He placed it again under the water for another minute. "How does it feel?"

"It hurts!" She sighed helplessly. That frightful alarm sound was driving her nuts.

"I"m getting an icepack for it," he said as he removed her hand from the faucet and wrapped it in a kitchen towel for about ten seconds. He then pulled out a soft icepack from the freezer and gently replaced the towel for the icepack. He searched her face for her reaction. Only when he was reassured that she could tolerate the temperature did he attempt to do something about the noise; grabbing a towel, he waved it against the smoke alarm to silence it. The last thing he did was dump the pot with its burned towel in the sink.

He looked at her uncertain of what to do next, and that's when she told him about getting some toothpaste on the burn. Together they went to the half-bathroom down the hall. He got the toothpaste for her, and she dabbed a good amount onto her finger and licked it. Right now, watching her finger slide out of her mouth, he wanted nothing but to bed her, and it was taking all his willpower to not consummate their marriage.

…...

She met his eyes timidly. "Christian?"

"Hmm?"

"This thing that happened was a mistake. A mistake that can't happen again."

"A mistake? Is that what you call it?" He retorted. His voice had an angry edge mixed with some disappointment too. He was upset she was calling their kiss a mistake. Anastasia was the first woman he'd ever kissed on the lips; for him kissing was more intimate than the sexual act, that's why he never kissed any of his former submissives on the lips.

"You could have stopped me at anytime, but you didn't," he reminded her pointedly.

After making sure she was going to be okay, he left her alone and buried himself in his laptop, and she spent the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen. She made another pot of rice and seasoned the beans while they continued to cook. It was well after 7 pm when they finally sat down for dinner. After dinner, they sat down to watch TV. Christian had really enjoyed how she prepared the black beans. As usual, Ana insisted on doing the dishes. He turned on the TV to catch the news, but he couldn't concentrate. He couldn't stop thinking of Anastasia; he needed to find a way to equalize things between them. But he wasn't exactly what you would call a domesticated man. He didn't cook or do dishes ( he usually ordered takeout or ate his frozen meals right out of their trays) and he had Molly Maid come once or twice a week for regular housekeeping.

After she was done with the dishes, she came over to join him in the living room. She sat on the other end of the three-seater couch, her back not touching the cushions behind her.

"Relax," he mumbled, moving closer to her than she would have liked.

Ana smiled politely and turned to the TV screen. It was really overpowering watching a screen this huge; she wondered if she would ever get used to this.

She stared at the bottom of the screen for the longest time. The newscaster was talking about a high profile kidnapping case, but she couldn't quite concentrate on much of what he said. For one, he spoke too fast for her to process and secondly, there was a detail that bugged her to no end. A misspelled word on the bottom of the screen. Over the years, she had taught herself English grammar and was a quite proficient speller and had gotten high marks in an English-Spanish translator course she took in her senior year.

"I need to call mami," she said suddenly. "And let her know I arrived safely." She looked at her watch. "This is the perfect time, she will be home for sure, getting ready for bed."

"Of course," Christian felt like slapping himself. He should have suggested that hours ago. "I'm calling her right now." He picked up the landline and dialed her number which he had logged into his cell phone and then handed her the receiver.

"How long?" She asked while the call connected. "How long can I talk?"

Christian narrowed his eyes, not understanding.

"International calls are expensive."

He shook his head. "Don't give it a second thought. You can talk as long as you want."

Ana's expression brightened the second she heard her grandmother's voice. They talked for about fifteen minutes with Ana staying close to the phone base. Even though intellectually she knew it was a cordless phone, she still behaved like it was a corded telephone.

"Ana," Christian started once she was ended the call. "How is she doing?"

"She's a little sad, she misses me," she said, all choked up.

Her sadness tugged at Christian's heartstrings. He was amazed at how easily he was able to put himself in her place and imagine how she must be feeling leaving her grandmother behind and everything she'd ever known. Maybe visiting Cuba had made it easier to look at life from her perspective.

"I told her you said hi."

He nodded. "She's going to be okay. I will be sending her enough money for her daily expenses once a month." Unlike Raymond Steele, he'd never given the Cuban government any reason to blacklist him; sending her grandmother money should be as easy as pie.

Ana's jaw dropped.

"That is very generous of you. Thank you," She said, touched. Even though she knew her mami had the neighbors looking after her, she was profoundly relieved knowing her needs would be taken care of.

"Technically, it's really our money since we are legally married," he murmured with the tiniest of winks.

Ana nervously averted his gaze; in turn, he grabbed the remote, started flipping the channels. Looking at the TV seemed safer. Nothing in the world would have ever prepared her for what she saw next as she sat back down next to him.

"Ay, Dios mio! (Oh, my God!) She exclaimed, staring wide-eyed at the images of people in the nude on the TV screen.

Christian peeled his eyes away from Ana to look at the TV screen. The show was called Naked and Afraid. He hadn't purposely meant to watch this show in particular. He's watched a few scenes here and there but didn't find it all that interesting.

Ana started laughing nervously, half-hysterically. Christian was amused. Soon he was laughing too.

She felt her cheeks redden profusely as she watched a man and a woman running around in the wilderness of the cold Alaskan Tundra completely exposed to the elements. A white square on the screen covered their privates, but it was still disturbing to watch, especially because their behinds were freely exposed in all their glory. She found it offensive and embarrassing and yet, at the same time, she couldn't help but watch much like a commuter slowing down to a crawl when passing an accident scene after being stuck in gridlock for hours.

The woman in the show had long straight hair that partially covered her boobs, even so, it left little to the imagination. At one point, she was walking barefooted and stopped to sit on a rock to examine her bleeding foot from walking in treacherous terrain.

Once again, Ana averted her eyes, still laughing. Unable to look at Christian in the eye.

"These people are contestants in a survivor show," Christian said as a way of an explanation unable to contain the laughter. Her laughter was

so light an infectious, he had tears in his eyes; whoa, he hadn't laughed like this in years.

At last, she stopped laughing and gave him a blank look as she processed what he just said.

"It's like a game show. They're competing for prizes against other contestants to see who manages to survive the most days out in the wilderness," he said, realizing that Ana had most likely never seen a game show and had no idea what he was talking about.

"Someone did this to them on purpose and FILMED IT!" She said utterly outraged.

"Yeah, but they volunteered for it. Actually. they got paid a handsome amount of money to do this."

Ana was positively horrified. That anyone in their right minds would volunteer to appear on national TV butt naked was beyond her. As a matter of fact, if that wasn't the definition of insanity, then she didn't know what was.

"They-this woman wanted to be filmed?" She asked, shaking her head, eyes glued to the screen. She still couldn't look at him in the eye. "She wanted to be filmed naked...like that? For money?" She continued shaking her head, thinking she would die first before agreeing to something like this.

Christian flipped the channel to a cooking show. Ana, however, was too distraught to pay attention.

"Ana, it's over. I changed the channel."

"You're the first man that has tempted me to sin," she said suddenly, thinking about nakedness and sin. There, she had said it, confessed about her virginity and waited with bated breath to see what he would do. Last night, her strategy had been to tell him she hated him, tonight, it was to simply tell him the truth.

Christian stared at her dumbfounded. The words temptation and sin in the same sentence sounded religious and old-fashioned. Why was he so surprised? This girl (yes, she's a girl, not a woman) was from another era; a reluctant time traveler, if you will. Wait a minute, was she saying what he thought she was saying?

"Are you telling me you' ve never been with a man before?" He murmured quietly. "Are you a virgin?"

She nodded, glancing at him for a moment before averting her eyes once again.

Christian exhaled soundly. Of course. He didn't know why he'd assumed she wasn't a virgin. Hold on a sec, he did know. All along, he had wanted to believe that she wasn't, in case they ended up in bed together.

But now that she'd told him she was a virgin, he couldn't help but feel as though if he tried something with her, it would be like taking advantage, like robbing the cradle. He, a man of a dark, dubious past and she, the picture of innocence personified.

For the rest of the evening, they sat in front of the TV with the volume turned down to its lowest in comfortable, peaceful silence. Outside, a rainstorm surged with occasional lightning. Ana was cold even after he got up and turned up the heating system.

He picked up a blanket and brought it over to the couch.

"C' mere, let me help you warm-up," he said, putting his arm around her.

At first, she was tense but then started to relax and tucked her knees and stretched her legs across the length of the soft velvet couch. He then covered her feet tenderly with the blanket.

After a short while, he turned off the TV and the lamp at the bedside table. They sat together, their bodies too groggy and relaxed to move. They wordlessly made the decision to simply stay there. Slowly, they shifted around to a lying down position until he had his back pressed against the back of the couch, her bottom pressed against him, his arms around her. She sighed as she pulled the blanket tighter around them. Being so close to her lovely scent, he couldn't help but brush his lips to the base of her neck. His fingers itched to trace the contours of her body. Despite his earlier assertions, and without actually touching her, he felt her slim and gentle curves, she was damn perfect. He ached to move past her low back where her T-shirt met her jeans, resenting the hard, thick fabric which prevented him from feeling her warmth. Suddenly, a voice, the voice in of reason shouted: Stop it, Grey! Sick bastard!

He continued to shift some as he kept repeating the words like a mantra. Now, more than ever, he was convinced he couldn't in good conscience take her virginity; not without revealing his tortured, perverted past.

Feeling quite drowsy, and realizing he wasn't going to try anything with her, she snuggled into him. She completely relaxed, knowing he was only trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Within five minutes, they were both sound asleep.

When Ana peeled her eyes open again, she realized it was still dark, and her bladder is about to explode. A lock at her Casio watch told her it was a little after 3 am. She turned slightly to gaze Christian's peaceful face; she had loved the feeling of sleeping with his arms wrapped around her. Not wanting to disturb him, she carefully eased off the couch and headed for the bathroom. After relieving her bladder, she stopped for a minute at the foot of the bed in the master bedroom. She was tempted to climb in under the covers. It was the sensible thing to do. Wasn't it?

She moved to the side of the bed she'd slept in the night before to look for her nightgown under her pillow. The gown was admittedly too long and a bit nun-stylish, but it was quite comfy and practically brand new. She quickly undressed, slid it over her head, and slipped under the covers. Christian invaded her thoughts the minute she closed her eyes. No matter how hard she tried going back to sleep, she couldn't stop thinking of him. She dreamed of him kissing her, touching her thighs, her belly; dreamed of him soothing the ache between her legs. She tossed and turned, her body on fire with a need she didn't understand.

She thought she was dreaming, but she was, in fact, awake right in that place right between the two. Longing to feel his arms around her, (and against her better judgment), she slid out of bed and made a beeline for the couch. She knelt down, in the semi-darkness of the room, facing him, watching him sleep. She smiled at the lock of copper hair across his forehead and smoothed it back. There. Maybe, if she was lucky, he'd let her cut his hair.

The next morning

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Christian murmured close to her ear.

Ana awoke at once to find Christian standing over her, dressed in slacks and short sleeve t-shirt. It didn't look like any ordinary t-shirt; it was cashmere. She knew because she had seen he had several of those t-shirts hanging in his closet.

"Hmm...what time is it?" She asked straightening to a sitting position. She had a vague recollection of returning to the couch after her bathroom trip and him wrapping his arms contentedly around her body. She'd never slept better in her life, she thought, amazed she'd slept with him all night long without actually sleeping with him for the second night in a row. Except that last night had been the best so far.

"A little after nine," he answered casually, "I'm leaving for work." When he awoke earlier this morning, he'd noticed she had changed into her pro-granny- era pajamas sometime during the night.

Ana was horrified, she'd never slept in this late in her entire life. "I'm so sorry...give me a few minutes, I'll get your breakfast ready."

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I had cereal." He said, taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch.

Ana ran a hand over her hair. She must look a fright. "I'm really sorry! Why didn't you wake me?" Her gaze fixated on his pants, which seemed awfully wrinkled. "Let me iron those for you," she offered, biting her lip, a thousand thoughts going through her head. For one, she hadn't even given him a proper good morning. Mami would be horrified if she knew.

"Stop biting your lip, will you?" He said. He had something important to tell her, and the lip-biting was distracting. She froze and stared blankly at him. "Also, you don't need to iron anything for me. I think we've had this talk before, you're not my maid."

"I should have ironed those yesterday instead of watching television," she went on as though she hadn't heard him. "You know what you could do? You could leave your clothes out the night before, and I can make sure-"

He clucked his tongue and shook his head. "What am I gonna do with you, muchacha? You don't have to do a thing around here." He shook his head again. "We both slept in, and that was good. We're both had a form of delayed jet lag, I suppose." He paused, slapping both hands on his knees as though he was almost ready to rise to his feet. "Now, before I go..."

"How did you sleep last night?" She interrupted, minding her good manners.

He frowned. He really didn't have time for ritualistic niceties. "Fine. Listen, your father wants to meet with you at a restaurant tonight."

"What?"

"Yeah, he wants to meet with you for dinner. Chloe will be there too."

"He called you? No-let me guess, he emailed you?"

"You catch on fast," he smiled a boyish smile. "Anyhow, he's picking you up at 5:00 p.m. I except your father to be on his best behavior. If not, I will personally-" he trailed, catching himself before he cursed.

"But-wait!" Ana said, her gaze small and vulnerable as he rose to his feet. "You're not going to be there?"

"No. I was not included in this invitation."

Ana was outraged. "I don't care. I want you there."

Christian's lips curve into a wide smile. "Now, that right there is quite sweet of you," he went on putting a hand over his heart. "I'm deeply touched...but I can't make it, I'm meeting a new client around that time," he said matter-of-factly. "I gotta go now," he said, bending down to kiss her forehead. "I'll call you laters."

Before she had a chance to respond, he grabbed his briefcase and was out the door. After he left, she showered and fixed eggs and toast for breakfast. It felt awfully lonely in this big apartment without Christian. She kept busy by cleaning the kitchen and the bathrooms. She would have mopped too except she couldn't find a mop anywhere. She did find a broom and a stick with a swivel rectangular bottom, but she didn't know what you used it for except that it was great for removing cobwebs in hard to reach places. Except the broom could also do the same job just as easily. She would have also ironed his shirts and pants and maybe even his underwear, but she looked and looked for an actual iron and couldn't find one anywhere.

She skipped lunch since Christian informed her she was having dinner at a restaurant and so she figured she needed to save her appetite until then. She was just thinking about Christian and what he would be having for lunch when he called. She jumped when she heard the ringing sound, it was unlike anything she'd heard before.

She lifted the receiver off its cradle and pushed the answer button like Christian had shown her.

"Hello?"

"Anastasia. Everything alright?"

"Yes, yes. When are you coming home?"

"Not probably until after 8pm. Hopefully, your father will bring you home before then. You have my number in case you need anything. Okay?"

"Yes, yes."

"Okay, bye," Christian hang up without waiting for her response.

Later

At 4:30 sharp, Ray rang the doorbell. Chloe was with him; she was blond and extremely tall for a ten-year-old. Further, the way she dressed made her look a lot older.

"Hi, Ana!" Chloe wrapped her arms around her. Ana was wearing a simple dark green knit dress and her one good pair of sandals. The dress was a little big on her but it was the nicest thing she owned for evening wear. "I can't believe you're finally here!"

Ana was moved by Chloe's warm embrace. "I'm so glad to finally meet you! Wow, you're almost as tall as me!"

Chloe straightened and the two girls measured each other.

"We've better get going," Ray smiled, a bit preoccupied. "The restaurant is a 25-minute drive."

They were seated as soon as they arrived at a four-star restaurant. The restaurant had candles, white linen tables and a wall to ceiling window with a breathtaking view of the city. Ana could only imagine how spectacular the view would be like at sunset.

Ana sat beside the window, Ray across from her, and Chloe sat facing the window. She immediately took the cloth napkin and placed it on her lap with the folded edges toward her knees. She then carefully unfolded it. Both Chloe and her Ray unfolded their napkins on the table and then threw them on their laps.

"I'm sorry how it went the other day," Ray said lamely. Anastasia was starting to think this was a recurring theme with her father: hurting her and then later apologizing. "I didn't even get to tell you what I came to tell you."

Ana put the menu down and showed him with her body language that she was ready to listen.

"I got a proposition for you. I got you an apartment for you to live in, all expenses paid." He said, showing her a brochure. "It's not too far from my place so I can come and see you often," he concluded with a self-satisfied smile.

Ana was floored. At first, she didn't know what to say. She glanced over at Chloe, but the girl seemed as though she'd forgotten that she ( Ana) even existed; completely absorbed in whatever she was doing with her phone.

"I don't think-"

"What is there to think?" Ray cut in. "I rented this place for you," he shook his head. "It's a beautiful place..."

Ana blinked. The implication was clear. Anyone in their right mind would love the place. But she couldn't accept something like this. She'd never lived alone in her life...plus there was Christian.

"I can't. I can't accept this," Ana said firmly.

Ray ran an exasperated hand through his neck. "Ana, let me remind you that I'm your father. I can afford to get you your own place. You don't have to live with that man-"

"That man is now my husband," Ana shot back. She couldn't stand her father speaking ill of Christian. Christian was the only person she fully trusted, the only person she could truly count on in her present circumstances, period. "Please, father, don't speak of him like that."

Ray frowned, immediately zeroing in on her 'tone' when she'd called him father. He consciously decided to try another tactic. "Annie, I don't know if-I want to give you EVERYTHING you need because I can, I'm a very wealthy man, don't forget that." He paused but before she could say anything else, he spoke again. "I want you to go to college, to Harvard, actually. I've already spoken with the faculty administrators, and they're holding a spot open for you in business school," he paused again. "Or any other major you want, actually. You've just graduated from high school, your life is barely starting," he said glancing over at his other daughter who was still deeply involved in her phone. "And I want to give you every opportunity to conquer the world. You're only eighteen, for heaven's sake! This is the time of your life to enjoy...it's not the time to be married, that would have been the last thing I would have wanted for you."

Right then, the waiter appeared, all smiles. He wanted to know if they were ready for him to take their orders.

Realizing she had no idea what she would order, she panicked. She picked the first thing she saw on the menu, wild-caught salmon. She felt bad because she wasn't able to choose something not too pricey; but then again, everything on that menu seemed exorbitantly priced.

"Are you ready to order?" Ray asked her, and she nodded.

Ana pointed to the waiter what she wanted. In turn, he asked her if she wanted mashed potatoes or a different side dish. She picked mashed potatoes because it was easier than choosing from the long list of side dishes.

Next, Ray placed his order, which took about five seconds. Chloe took a lot longer; she asked various questions about different dishes. In the end, she chose fettuccine Alfredo.

After the waiter discreetly disappeared, Ray easily segued back to their previous conversation. "I'm in the position to give you everything you need and everything you want, I don't think you fully realized that."

"Everything I want?" Ana questioned.

"Absolutely, sweetie, everything, and anything."

"Except living with you," Ana pointed out bitterly, and her father recoiled at her tone.

"Do they have restaurants over there in Cuba?" Chloe suddenly asked.

"Of course."

"Like this one?"

"Yes."

"Do you have cars and bathrooms? Daddy says you have one of those old TV's with an antenna-"

"Chloe!" Ray gave his youngest daughter a warning look. "You're being very rude right now, Chloe. Cuba is a country like any other-"

"That's not what you said, daddy," Chloe pointed out which clearly annoyed her father to no end and elicited another warning look from him.

"Yes, Chloe, we have cars and bathrooms inside people's homes just like everywhere else in the world," Ana said, unable to hide her emotions. She did feel insulted by the girl's questions. "We also have schools, movie theaters, restaurants, stores, and everything else. And these are actual buildings with electricity and running water. Oh, and I lived in a nice house, NOT a mud hut with dirt floors."

"But you don't have computers or I-phones-" the ten-year-old added.

"Chloe, go back to your game," Ray snapped. "I'm trying to have an important conversation with your sister."

Ana shook her head. Suddenly, she wanted to leave. She didn't want anything to do with her father or Chloe for that matter. Feeling a tightness in her chest, her hand went to her heart and her eyes filled with tears. All she wanted was to go back home (Cuba). America was not the place she'd imagined it to be.

Ray reached for Ana's hands across the table. "Annie, you can't keep living with that man," he paused meaningfully. "He's a wicked man, Annie," he cocked his head, trying to appeal to emotions that he knew she would understand. "He's not the right man for you."