Chapter 15

Jennie

I lay in bed, listening to the girls giggling in the next room and replaying last night over and over in my mind. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time and it felt amazing. A day that started out with crappy texts ended with us lying hand in hand on the pier, watching the stars. My head was still spinning, and that was the problem.

Lisa was like a drug. When I was with her, my mind was in this hazy, euphoric state, but once the smoke cleared, I realized that I was just setting myself up for disaster. How many red flags did I need?

She was a professional athlete.

She lived an hour and a half away, even when she wasn't traveling.

She admitted last night that she's never been in a serious relationship.

All of those things are the exact opposite of the qualities I needed. Lisa and I had chemistry, no doubt about that, but I needed to keep her at arms' length. She was my kryptonite.

I dragged myself out of bed, reluctant to leave the safety of my own room. I turned into a melted pile of goo when Lisa zeroed in on me, and she was going to be here for two more days. I had to try my hardest to stay solidified.

My cell phone chirped. I looked over at the pile of textbooks sitting on my desk with my phone perched on the top, calling my name. I was worried that if it was another charming text from Lisa, nothing would stop me from running up to her room, ripping my clothes off as I went. I walked over and peeked at my phone with one eye. It was from Rosé. Thank God!

R: HEY, WHAT ARE YOU AND THE GIRLS UP TO TODAY?

NO PLANS, JUST HANGING.

R: SWEET! THERE'S A FAIR OVER IN LAKE COUNTY, I'M TAKING MY NIECE. WANNA GO WITH?

YESSSSSSSSS!

R: SWEET! WE'LL BE BY IN AN HOUR.

An all-day fair is exactly what I needed to keep myself occupied and out of the house for the day. I ran off to tell the girls about our exciting new plans.

Ruby and Jane were in their room filling their backpacks with stuffed animals and arguing over which flavor slushy they were going to have first, while I ransacked the kitchen, packing my bag full of pretzels, Band-Aids and hand sanitizer.

The back door creaked open, but I didn't turn to see who came in. I already knew. I could feel it.

"Morning!" Lisa said cheerfully.

"Hey," I responded without turning around.

"How are you today? I'm exhausted." She yawned.

"I'm okay."

"What's wrong? You're being short with me."

I turned and looked at her. She was wearing a Minnesota Wild t-shirt. She had her Wild ball cap on again, facing backward this time. The hunter green hat made her already dazzling eyes pop and I was hypnotized. I had to look away to regain my composure.

"Am I? I don't mean to be." I went to the fridge and grabbed a few juice boxes, tossing them in my bag. "I'm just in a rush. The girls and I are going to the fair over in Lake County today."

"Nice, that oughta be fun. Want company?"

My heart plummeted through my body, through the sub floor, through the foundation and landed in a patch of dirt and weeds under the house. I didn't want to tell her no, but I couldn't hang out with her much longer and continue dodging her advances.

"Um, well I was thinking the girls and I need some time alone today. Please don't be upset."

She grinned at me and tilted her head to the side. "Jennie, I would never, ever be upset with you for wanting to spend time alone with your kids. Ever. Go, have fun. Meet you on the pier later?"

"Maybe." I smiled at her, wishing she weren't such sweet girl. She would be much easier to avoid if she were an asshole.

There was a loud knock at the front door.

"Be right back."

I could feel her eyes on me like a tattoo when I walked out of the kitchen.

I opened the front door and Rosé burst through it, swaddling me in a hug, almost knocking me on my ass. She let go and Tommy stepped up. "My turn."

He wrapped his arms around me with a big bear hug and lifted me off the ground.

"Long time, no see, Tommy. Congratulations!" I planted a peck on his cheek.

"Thanks, Jennie. I'm a lucky man." He reached over and squeezed Rosé's hand as they smiled at each other.

"Okay, if you two are going to do that all day, you're gonna make me puke," I teased as I squatted down in front of Rosé's niece, Molly. "Hey Molly. Jane and Ruby are so excited to play with you today."

She grinned shyly and hid behind Rosé's leg.

"So, who all is going? Did you call Jisoo and Derek?" Rosé asked.

"Yeah, she's a sloth. She had a long week and apparently her delivery boy called in sick today, so she had to get up super early and make all the deliveries. She went home and crashed again."

"Bummer. All right, well let's get moving!" Rosé clapped her hands in excitement.

"Let me grab the girls and my bag from the kitchen." I turned and started down the hall with them trailing behind me.

Lisa was standing in front of the fridge, scratching her chin.

I looked at her, feeling incredibly guilty. "We're gonna head out. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, I'll be here." She turned and smiled at me sweetly, nodding respectfully at my friends.

"Holy shit! You're Lisa Manoban!" Tommy exclaimed.

Lisa looked over as Rosé smacked Tommy's arm and covered Molly's ears. "Tommy, watch your mouth!"

"Sorry, babe, but she's Lisa Manoban." Tommy just stared at Lisa, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"Hey man, nice to meet you." Lisa walked over and shook Tommy's hand.

Tommy returned the handshake like an eager kid. "Wait … what are you doing here?"

"Uh, I'm staying for the weekend. Jennie and I are … friends." Lisa looked at me out of the corner of her eye.

"Jennie! How could you not tell me you're friends with Lisa Fucking Manoban?"

"Tommy!" Rosé and I both reprimanded at the same time.

"Is she going with us? Are you going with us?" Tommy blurted out, his eyes jumping back and forth between Lisa and me.

"Jesus, calm down, Tommy. I hope you're this excited to meet our firstborn one day." Rosé sounded annoyed.

"Uh, well if our kid comes out as the NHL MVP, then yes."

"Okay, can we just stop all this and go, please? Girls! Come on!" I hollered down the hall. Ruby and Jane came running and huddled around Molly, hammering the poor girl with questions.

"Yes … but … is Lisa going?"

"Yes, Lisa is going. Come on already." I threw my hands up in the air and grabbed my bag off the counter, slinging it over my shoulder.

"I am?" Lisa looked at me, utterly confused.

"Yes, you are. Let's go." I started pushing everyone toward the front door.

"I smell like fish." She argued, spinning around to face me.

"You smell great, hush." I grabbed her shoulders and turned her back around, thoroughly enjoying the view from behind.

Once outside, Rosé turned to me. "Uh, my car isn't going to fit everyone, we'll have to take two."

"No biggie, I can drive too." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Mommy, can we ride in Molly's car?" Ruby asked, sticking her bottom lip out.

Jane stepped up behind her, clasping her hands together. "Pleeeeeeeeease?"

"It's fine with me." Rosé opened the car door, waving them in.

"Can I ride with Lisa?" Tommy copied the girls, sticking his bottom lip out and clasping his hands together.

Rosé narrowed her eyes and glared at him. "Only if you want her moving to Italy with you instead of me."

Tommy's eyes drifted up toward the sky, pretending to contemplate her offer. Rosé sighed and got in her car with Tommy right behind her.

"Wanna drive my truck?" Lisa grinned at me.

Before I could answer, she tossed her keys to me and walked to the passenger's side of her truck. I looked down at her keys in my hand, panic-stricken.

"Your truck? No way! I can't drive a truck." I fiercely shook my head.

She peeked her head around the back of the truck and grinned at me. "Get your ass in the truck and turn the key."

I climbed into her truck, my heart thumping so loudly against my sternum, I was sure she could hear it.

"What do I do?" I tried to act composed, but my insides were rattling.

Lisa's hand reached over and squeezed my knee. "Hey, look at me."

Her face was relaxed, with a lopsided smile. Her eyes were serene.

"Relax, it's just a truck. It's an automatic. You know what to do. Come on, start her up, they're about to leave without us."

I don't know if it was her warm hand on my knee or her soothing voice but I felt much better, calm even. My confidence grew with each second as I put the key in the ignition and started the engine. It took me a few minutes to get used to the bigger truck and the engine, which was much more powerful than my little SUV.

"So, what made you change your mind?" Lisa asked, propping her foot up on the dashboard.

I turned my head toward her without taking my eyes off the road. "Change my mind?"

"About me coming along."

"Oh, I don't really know." I shrugged. "I thought it would be fun … and friends go to fairs together."

"Touché." Lisa smirked and looked out the window.

We rode the last ten minutes in silence, not awkward silence where you feel uncomfortable just being together; it was content silence. I knew she was thinking about me, and she knew I was thinking about her. That silence was louder than any words we could have spoken.

Her hand never did leave my knee, and I liked it.

We walked through the fair gates, and the scent of cotton candy and funnel cakes filled the air.

"Wow! Crowded today, everyone stay together," Rosé said, aiming her attention at the girls.

"I'm gonna go grab tickets, be right back." Lisa's hand grazed the small of my back as she walked by, sending shivers up my spine like another hit in my bloodstream.

"Hey Tommy, can you take the girls over and get them some water before we start with the rides?" Rosé asked.

Tommy grabbed Molly's hand, which was already linked up with Ruby and Jane and off they went.

"What. The. Hell?" Rosé blurted out, spinning to face me. "I've been dying to get you alone. When did this start? Why didn't you tell me yesterday?"

I laughed. "There's nothing to tell, Rosé. We're friends."

"Yeah, okay, whatever. Seriously, what's going on with you two? Hurry, before she comes back."

I looked over toward the ticket booth at Lisa who had been stopped by a small group of teenage boys. She was signing autographs and taking pictures, giving each kid a turn with her undivided attention.

"Really, there's nothing going on. She showed up last weekend when she couldn't get through town because of the flooding at the bridge, and we became friends. That's all."

"I'm not an idiot, Jennie. In that kitchen I watched her, watching you. Tommy would never look at me like that, except maybe if I were walking toward him butt naked carrying a heaping plate of bacon."

"We've talked about this, Rosé. You know what I'm looking for. She doesn't exactly fit the mold, ya know? I'm playing it safe."

"Screw your mold, Jennie. Make a new one. She's completely smitten with you, and you are with her."

I sighed, growing frustrated. "Can we just not talk about feelings and futures and any of that crap today? I just want to have fun with everyone and give my brain a rest for a few hours. Fighting with yourself is exhausting."

She didn't have time to argue again because Lisa jogged back over.

"What did you buy?" I exclaimed, gaping at the sheets of tickets in her hand.

"Uh … like thirty sheets of tickets? Think that's enough?"

Rosé's mouth hung open. "That's like six hundred tickets!"

"We better get moving then." Lisa reached down and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward Tommy and the girls.

We spent the next six hours filling up on hot dogs and nachos and riding every single ride there … twice. I wasn't a big fan of fair rides, not the high ones anyway. I had a crippling fear of heights that kept me grounded the entire day. I was perfectly content sitting on a bench while those crazies spun and flipped their day away.

"Okay guys, one more ride and then I think it's time to call it a day. Auntie Rosé isn't used to all this. I need a bubble bath and a bottle of Tylenol." Rosé plopped on the bench next to me.

"Whose idea was it to wear the cute wedges to a fair, knucklehead?" I shoulder bumped her.

"Can we do that one again?" Ruby pointed to a bizarre contraption that took them up in the air in a car-looking thing and spun them for four minutes. I would rather have a root canal.

"You guys do whatever you want, I'll be here." I pulled Ruby onto my lap, kissing her cheek.

"Come on, guys!" She hopped off my lap and sprinted toward the ride with Jane and Molly right behind.

Rosé took off after them. Tommy turned to Lisa. "You coming?"

"No thanks, I'm gonna sit this one out."

"See you guys in a minute." Tommy jogged to catch up with the others.

Lisa sat down next to me on the bench. "You having fun?"

I looked over and smiled. "Yeah, I am. It's been a great day. I'm glad you came."

Lisa stared off into space, her eyebrows pulled together, deep in thought.

My curiosity got the better of me. "What?"

"Do you trust me?"

I stared at her nervously out of the corner of my eye, the hair on the back of my neck standing up. I hesitated answering.

"Do you?" She repeated, leaning forward, her eyes concentrating on mine.

"Yes."

She took a hold of my hand tightly and stood up, nodding to her right. "Follow me."

We walked behind the snow cone trailer and I realized we were walking straight toward the Ferris Wheel of Death. Okay, that wasn't really the name, but it should have been.

I pulled my hand from her, stopping dead in my tracks.

"No way, Lisa." All of the cells in my body went hypersensitive and my arms and legs started tingling. My chest felt tight and I couldn't take a full breath.

She turned to face me, grasping my shoulders gently. "Jennie, look at me. You can do this, trust me."

"I can't." I meant that literally. I couldn't will my feet to move even if I wanted them to.

"Look in my eyes. Yes, you can. You said you trusted me, now come on. Jump in puddles with me."

I looked into her eyes, trying to understand the words she was saying, but my brain had sputtered to a halt. Puddles? What the hell was she talking about?

Suddenly, it hit me. Last week in the storm, the puddles. I let go of control a little that day, and it actually felt really good. This, though, was different. I had no control up there.

"I don't think I can." My voice was shaky, terror constricting my every movement.

"Yes, you can. One foot in front of the other. Come on, I got ya. Just keep looking at me." Lisa started walking backwards, still holding onto my shoulders. She never took her eyes off mine, except to peek backwards and make sure she wasn't going to bump into anyone.

When we got to the entrance of the ride, everything inside me was screaming to run. Lisa still had a gentle but firm grip on my shoulders and wasn't about to let me go anywhere.

She trailed a path from my shoulders to my hands, never losing contact with me as she squeezed my hands tight in her. She turned and nodded at the young, tattooed ride attendant who opened the silver gate and let us through. Lisa didn't let go of my trembling hand as she led me onto the ride. I sat down, already terrified to look to my side and we weren't even off the ground yet. She let go of my hand and stepped out of the ride and I panicked.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Just one sec." She reassured me, probably sensing that I was about to climb over the back of the seat and sprint straight for the parking lot.

She stepped away and whispered something into the kid's ear and then handed her something. I was too preoccupied thinking about death to care what it was.

She walked over and slid in the seat next to me. I immediately reached for her and she put her right arm around me. I snuggled up as close as I could, laying my head on her shoulder. She took her phone out of her pocket with her left hand.

"What are you doing?" I blurted out, not wanting her to make any movements at all.

"Tommy gave me his number earlier, I'm just letting them know where we are." She snickered.

Her laugh vibrated through my body, calming my nerves a bit. My peace was shattered when the fair kid slammed the metal bar down in front of us. I flinched and Lisa squeezed my shoulders tight.

"We're okay," she whispered into my hair, her thumb rubbing back and forth on my shoulder.

The ride squeaked as it started turning and I buried my face deeper in her chest. We went very slowly, stopping about ten seconds later. I assumed to let people off and more people on, though I didn't dare crack my eyes open to look.

We did that about twenty more times before the ride started picking up speed. The faster it went, the tighter I pinched my eyes, my face still buried in Lisa's stinky fish shirt. Every revolution, my stomach flip-flopped from my feet to my head, and I was praying for it to be over soon. Up, down. Up, down. Lisa had moved her hands from my shoulder to the nape of my neck and she was stroking my hair, trying to keep me calm. She didn't talk the whole ride and I was thankful for that.

The ride ground to a halt, but I refused to move. I felt us go up, but we never came back down. I knew we were stuck at the top.

What were the fucking odds?

"Okay, Jennie. Open your eyes," Lisa said softly.

I didn't respond. I just shook my head no.

"Come on, please?"

I shook my head again.

"I promise we're safe. It's breathtaking. Just a quick peek?"

I let out a deep breath and opened one eye without taking my head off her chest. All I could see were our feet. I opened the other eye, still not lifting my head.

"Take your time, when you're ready." She continued playing with my hair.

Lifting my head so that it was off her chest but still leaning on her, I looked straight ahead. I could barely see over the front of the car, but I could see enough to tell that we were high, really high.

"Don't look down, look out."

The sun was about to go down behind the tall pine trees. The sky was a beautiful pallet of pink, orange and purple swirls. Airplanes left squiggly smoke trails, framing the stunning sunset.

"If you can, look to your right."

I didn't turn my head, but strained my eyes over to the right. In the distance was a big lake dotted with sailboats and buoys. The sun glistened off the water like fireworks.

The longer I sat there taking in the view, the more I relaxed. I sat up straight, off of Lisa, to get a better look at everything. She was right; it was amazing up here. I could see for miles.

After a few minutes of my eyes dancing all around the county, I turned to her. She was just staring at me, a faint smile on her lips.

"Thank you." It was my turn to squeeze her knee.

"You know why I insisted you come up here?" She leaned back in her seat, not letting go.

I didn't respond, just stared into her eyes.

"You were so scared, Jennie, just like you are about life. I wanted you to see that sometimes, even when something terrifies you, if you just give it a chance it's actually pretty incredible."

My eyes welled up with tears. This person was amazing, and I … was an idiot.

Not wanting to waste one more second, I swooped over and planted my lips right on Lisa's. She responded eagerly, taking my face in her hands. She kissed me back slowly, taking her time tasting my lips, expertly pulling each one into her mouth. She sucked gently on my lower lip and I let out a soft moan that fueled her fire. Her tongue gently licked across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, giving her access. She sat up straighter, her thumbs gently rubbing my cheekbones as her warm tongue explored my mouth. We moved perfectly in sync like we had been kissing for years, losing ourselves in our surroundings and each other.

Our perfect moment was interrupted when the Ferris wheel started moving again. My hands fisted her shirt out of fear, and I immediately pulled back and tucked my head back on her chest. She chuckled and started playing with my hair again.

"Do me a favor, Jennie. Just keep your eyes open, okay?"

I watched as we slowly got closer and closer to the ground, relief washing over me when the ride came to a stop at the bottom. My body was exhausted from the combination of tension and lust I had just experienced. I didn't even know if I could walk anymore. As the metal bar lifted and we stood up, I looked around realizing that there was no one else on the Ferris wheel. We had been the only ones. I looked up at Lisa who enveloped my hand with her and smiled down at me sweetly. She shook the hand of the kid running the ride as we walked by.

"Thanks, kid."

"Thank you, Ms. Manoban."

We walked for a few minutes, still hand in hand while I came down from my latest high.

"What just happened? I don't … how did you…" I couldn't get the words out.

"Eh, he's young. Most young kids would do just about anything for a hundred dollar bill."

My heart soared like those airplanes we just saw and I squeezed her hand, when reality hit me.

"Oh my God, the girls. We need to look for everyone." I scanned the nearby benches and lemonade stands but saw no sign of them.

Lisa took out her phone.

"Are you texting Tommy again?" I asked, still looking through the herds of people.

"Uh, I will in a minute." She looked up at me with a devilish grin on her face. "After what you just did up there, I'm ordering a Ferris wheel to be installed at your mom's place tomorrow."